Broke up with my girlfriend last night

[TizZle]

You held the high ground until you broke NC....and then you gave her exactly what she wanted - the certain knowledge that she has you in her grip. She knew why you contacted her because women know how to play this psychological power game much better that men.

Her replies were her way of having "the last word"... She "doubled dumped" you.
The first time she dumped you was when she lied to you . You found out and went NC. At that point your relationship was over..
Then she texted you until you weakened and contacted her, and so then she dumped you again through the indifference of her replies.
She got EXACTLY what she wanted .

I dumped her. She lied and about got away with it if my 'bs' meter didn't go off.

As for the 2nd one you note. I gave her the choice to come over as long as she could respect me and if not that i was fine with it. I was indifferent about it. Things went south when she started making excuses. In the moment i don't know what i was thinking(was high also, lol).

Also, i really dont care if she got what she wanted. I guess it was mutual since i got what i wanted also.

......

Here. Analyze this. She texted me tonight," i do still like you, i'm just so busy with work and school"

It's just a text. Plain and simple. Nothing more Nothing less. She seen me driving not even 30 minutes before the text and probably started thinking then texted me. I didn't text back. No need to. She's worthless.

.......

Igetit! obviously you don't get it. i'm not a backup for her. that's the most insane sentence in this thread. She has no chance of getting back with me now. I discarded reading the rest of your post due to this.

.......

Here's something that i neglected to leave out:

After i broke up with her i did feel hurt. I layed in my bed one night and told god that if she was meant to be in my life then she would have to tell me that she loved me. And she did.

I told my mom about this information and she said that sometimes people are entitled to a 2nd chance. She said that if my ex cheated on me to leave it alone tho.

........

I broke NC after 2 weeks of a 3 month relationship with the purpose of seeing if she still was worthless or decided to change her tune since she was trying to contact me and broke out the "i love you text"


This breakup went pretty well compared to my others. I didn't feel as hurt as previous ones. I also handled it better despite breaking NC. You can read all the material on this site 100x but that doesn't make up for the experience factor.

on a side note: that holy grail of dating post in the tips has been helping me get into a don't give a fvck attitude.

 

[jophil28]

I dumped her. She lied and about got away with it if my 'bs' meter didn't go off. .

NO, she effectively rejected you by lying badly enough to eventually bring about the end of the relationship . A woman who truly valued you, and what she had with you, would not lie because she knows that deception carries huge risks of exposure with painful and destructive consequences..
Generally speaking, humans tend to protect and shield what they value most.
We risk those things and those people that we are prepared to lose.
Certainly ,you may have been the one to formally "dump" her after you uncovered her lie, but your relationship was broken before that when she deceived you .

It also matters little how you try to rationalize your breaking NC . When you did, she knew that what you say is not what you mean, and she knew that she had you back on her hook. So she decided to have a little more fun by making you squirm and wriggle. Her 'indifferent' texts said that she had no desire to be with you . They also indicated that she was not going to rest until she fired the last shot.

You might also consider that the advise that you receive here is not designed to wound you, or harm you. IT is offered by more experienced guys ( like Igetit) to educate you into becoming a more effective man.
You just need to find the courage to take a few slaps before that process gets underway.

 

[Igetit!]

Also, i really dont care if she got what she wanted. I guess it was mutual since i got what i wanted also.

Well women are emotional,so you contacting her and repeatedly trying to get her to come over to your place after she lied to and mistreated you obviously made her feel good and boosted her ego,so her payoff out of it was an emotional charge.

You said that you also got what you wanted out of it as well. I'm curious as to what exactly it was you got out of her lying to you and repeatedly turning down your attempts at getting her to come over to your place.

......

Here. Analyze this. She texted me tonight," i do still like you, i'm just so busy with work and school"

Translation:I DON'T like you,but I like the way you keep vying for my attention,kinda like a puppy standing on it's hind legs begging for a treat.
I'll continue giving you these bits and scraps of attention to keep you hooked,lest you actually come to your senses,and really decide to move on.

It's just a text. Plain and simple. Nothing more Nothing less.

Well yeah,it is just a text,but what's her MOTIVE for sending it? Nothing just "appears" out of the blue,there a reason she did this and to me,it's as I explained above.

She seen me driving not even 30 minutes before the text and probably started thinking then texted me. I didn't text back. No need to. She's worthless.

Oh...so now she's worthless. You didn't seem to think so two days ago when you REPEATEDLY kept trying to get her to come over to you house.

.......

Igetit! obviously you don't get it.

Wow,it's been a while since I got the old "Igetit!" doesn't "get it" line.

I was starting to think I was losing my touch.

Thanks.

i'm not a backup for her. that's the most insane sentence in this thread.

Insane? Well I was going for "demented" or "deranged",but umm... I guess "insane" will work.


You know how we always say to go by what a woman does,NOT BY what she says? Well that can be applied to us guys too.


You "said" that you're a "no contact master",but you get two or three texts from her,and off you go trying to get her to come see you....to which she DECLINED....twice.



You could have made this work. It wasn't the breaking the no contact (imo) that screwed you over,it was you trying to get her to come see you that did you in.

She has no chance of getting back with me now.

Well I'll take your word for it. Now that that's settled,my question is when did you decide this. Was it after you broke up with her,or after she twice rejected your invites for her come over to your place?

I discarded reading the rest of your post due to this.

Ohhh....that's a low blow dude.


I typed all that out and you didn't even read it.

.......

Here's something that i neglected to leave out:

After i broke up with her i did feel hurt.

Now this...I RESPECT. I can respect you being honest,it was just all that nonsense about "gaining information" I had a problem with.

I broke NC after 2 weeks of a 3 month relationship with the purpose of seeing if she still was worthless or decided to change her tune since she was trying to contact me and broke out the "i love you text"

So you wanted to see if she had changed after two weeks?

Well you did get an "I love you" text from her,so I guess I can see that,but I would have been repeating in my head the whole time,"Go by what she does,not what she says. Go by what she does,not by what she says".


To me,her sending you the "I'm sorry/I love you" texts was kind of like what Lindsay Lohan did when she found out she'd have to go to jail.

When the sh*t hit the fan and she finally had to deal with the consequences of her actions,then she started balling and talking about how she respects the courts and judicial system. Then all of the sudden,she was sorry about her behavior.



This girl was lying and deceiving and acting a fool up until you finally dumped her. Then once that happened,NOW all of the sudden she loves you and she's sorry. What,she couldn't do that before when you two were still a couple? If she really loved you,missed you,etc,etc,as she said,then why bother even lying to and trying to mislead you in the first place?




I'm not trying to bash you dude,we're both sosuave members. It was just that "contacting her to get information" line of yours that buggged me because I didn't believe it to be true.

 

[Alien]

I gave her the choice to come over as long as she could respect me and if not that i was fine with it.

......

Here. Analyze this. She texted me tonight," i do still like you, i'm just so busy with work and school"

........

I broke NC after 2 weeks of a 3 month relationship with the purpose of seeing if she still was worthless or decided to change her tune since she was trying to contact me and broke out the "i love you text"

To give her the choice is not a wise thing to do with an ex. You will just think about it all the time: will she come? does she still like me? (Its like giving your phone number instead of asking for hers) A girl is unable to make big decisions or admit how the things really are. She will do what she feels, not what is "right". One day you gonna see her holding her new boyfriends hand and saying "Tizzle i still love you but... uhh. you dont understand. boys dont understand this!" ...you know what i mean.

*with a clear head you would be able to answer your own questions easily

*once the girl lost the respect for you ...that`s gone.

*And that text is just an other BS from her

 

[chance]

it would of been good if you never spoke to her again when you left her house that night you broke up. you fuked it all up thought :/

she doesn't love you at all bro. shes playin games with you for her entertainment. women love it when they have guys by the balls. they feel powerful. like igetit said... if she really loved you and wanted you she would stop texting you bs msgs and make action. shes just texting you for replies. its like flicking someones ears until they respond. she thinks ur a loser man. meet other girls fast to get ur mind off this dumb hoe.

 

[TizZle]

Igetit. it sounded like you were trying to bash me. I didn't think she had the nerve to continue lieing to me, although i knew it was possible.

I wasn't trying to get her back. You can't make a woman want you. I admit that her i love you text sparked some curosity and struck a cord in me as to why she sent it. My closure went from like 90% down to like 70% but immediately jumped to 100% when the first excuse came in.

i could have handled the phone convo better. I should have just hung up once i realized her texts and trying to call me was 100% bs instead of wasting another 30 seconds of my life... shoulda. woulda. coulda...

If she "had me by the balls" i would have supplicated and gave in to her "would you be mad if i stopped by another night" text.

It's more like i let her grab onto a pubic hair for a few minutes... Then she went for the ball sack and missed as i was zipping my pants up. LOL

I think my mom has a 6th sense for this type of sh1t cuz she told me to watch out for "devils in sheeps clothing"

 

[Kailex]

i could have handled the phone convo better. I should have just hung up once i realized her texts and trying to call me was 100% bs instead of wasting another 30 seconds of my life... shoulda. woulda. coulda...

You could have just avoided all of this and instead of thinking how you could have handled the situation better, just think about how you could have not called in the first place.

If she "had me by the balls" i would have supplicated and gave in to her "would you be mad if i stopped by another night" text.

It's more like i let her grab onto a pubic hair for a few minutes... Then she went for the ball sack and missed as i was zipping my pants up. LOL

Again, sugar coat this as you want to, but in essence, you reached out to her. Whether it was momentary weakness or lapse of judgment, you dethroned yourself from being an NC master.

"Gain information" is a common cover-up for a much bigger picture there. You dumped her. What more information could you possibly need? She disrespected the bond of trust between the two of you. By reaching out to her, you validated her in every sense of the word. And I'll go even further out on a limb here and say that her intention was NEVER to actually see you again.

All of that last "conversation" was her stringing you along, hence why she asked if you would be mad if she came some other night.

Why you would want a girl, that you dumped and repeatedly have yelled to the four winds, to come over to your place is beyond any logical thinking.

By even calling her in the first place, you tossed away anything you ever did before that... the NC, the dumping, the "putting your foot down"... all of that was thrown in the garbage. Whether you care to accept it or not, you gave her all of the power back... even if you "don't care".

In essence, you DO care, because you DID call.

In all fairness to you, you did say: Lesson learned.

I certainly hope so.

 

[TizZle]

What power do you speak of?

........

In the Past:

She was deemed worthless when i dumped her for bad behavior.

There was a moment where i thought she might not want to be worthless to me anymore so i broke NC.

She was worthless after i broke NC.


Present time:

She is still worthless


........

I broke NC because i wanted to know whether or not she loved me. I was skeptical but not completely for certain either way. I'm the type of person that likes to "know things for sure". If that equates to caring then i guess i cared. I wanted to know if it was a lie or not. I couldn't come right out and ask if she was telling the truth. I put some pressure on her and got an answer. I took a risk by breaking NC but i got what i utimately wanted 100% certainty that it was a lie. I told my friend right after i broke NC that i probably shouldn't have done that. My logic said to me,"she is lieing because there's no way for "love" to spring up when your not "with" someone." But what i have learned on here is that,"Women aren't logical creatures."

That is the information i wanted. If you think it's sugar coated then so be it.

This site has helped me a lot but sometimes things get sketchy for me whenever i start to mix my logic with the fact that women are illogical.

She just tried to call me earlier. I didn't answer. No reason to.. See above.

 

[TizZle]

Yesterday:
Missed call during the day

Last night:
She tried to call my house phone and no1 answered
2 minutes later she called my cell and got ignored
about 30min later she texted me saying she wanted to see me and talk to me
got another text an hour later saying.. ok i will leave you alone
less than an hour from that one i get the.. please talk to me

Today:
text saying "hi"

looks like she's trying hard to suck me into her game if that's what she's in fact doing.

 

[Tiguere]

Yes she is. Tizzle what do you do in your free time. Whaa are your hobbies?

 

[TizZle]

My only set in stone hobbies are working out, hanging out with friends, and cod mw2. I like to golf every once in a while. Got a pool league starting soon also.

 

[TizZle]

Yesterday during the day:
Text saying," Hi"
30 min later, "im sorry plz talk to me"

Last night i passed out early and got up to see this bombardment

"i want to see you"
8 min later missed call
1 min later "why wont you talk to me"
1 min later missed call
2 min later "i do love you"
2 min later "i'm sorry i messed up please forgive me i wanted to come over the other night i was just scared"

I really don't know what to make of this.

 

[Kailex]

Make nothing of it.

Rest assured, if she had a few other options, she wouldn't be texting you on a Friday night to talk to her.

I don't know why you are trying to rationalize an irrational creature. If it concerns you that much that she keeps texting you, change your number. Otherwise, get used to those texts until she finds someone to spend her Friday nights with instead of texting you.

She's just seeking validation.
She never planned to come over that night. She just wanted you to jump back with a "Come over tonight" or whatever.

Just leave it alone. It'll die out.

 

[Alien]

Yesterday during the day:
Text saying," Hi"
30 min later, "im sorry plz talk to me"

Last night i passed out early and got up to see this bombardment

"i want to see you"
8 min later missed call
1 min later "why wont you talk to me"
1 min later missed call
2 min later "i do love you"
2 min later "i'm sorry i messed up please forgive me i wanted to come over the other night i was just scared"

I really don't know what to make of this.

I know how it feels like when you get these texts and stuff.

Its like a war inside you where your balls, testosterone, feelings towards her go against your logic, self-esteem and knowledge.
Its a bloody war....

 

[Reyaj]

If you are truly over her, you can bang her with no emotional attachment.


I did it with my ex one last time. I never saw her again after that and got it out of my system. Only you know deep down if you still have any feelings for this girl. I'd do it though

 

[playergamehater]

better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all

 

[blackwolf]

dont worry man i had a crazy girl like that once. played really good mind games with me. wouldn't answer my calls n all and finally when i got over her and deleted her off facebook, msn, everything she wouldnt stop calling me .. especially when she found out i had a girl over she kept texting me non stop to talk to her and calling me non stop. soon as i gave in the games started again and she wouldnt meet me or nothing. so i truly got over her and now shes prolly preying on other poor innocent guys.