Broke NC with Stripper after 9 weeks

[bigneil]

Well it had been over 60 days since I cancelled our last date and walked away, officially ending our 6 month courtship (due to her acting like a woman scorned for a whole month after our first fight). But as many of you know, I couldn't forget the stripper. So last night I finally broke down. After I went to her club (where for the second time she was not working) I texted her (her replies in italics):

11:30PM - "Dear Stripper, The club just isn't the same without you. Bigneil".
11:36PM - "Well then I guess you shouldn't go there!"
11:43PM - "Would you prefer I didn't?"

(one hour elapses)

12:47AM - "Why are you texting me?"
12:54AM - "I didn't think we were on bad terms after so long. I must have hurt your feelings if you are still angry with me. I am still learning and trying to grow."
12:57AM - "I would reconsider if 1) You didn't have anger issues 2) You weren't so mean to people that make a mistake on the job and 3) Didn't talk about your ex girlfriends every single second. Those are my only problems. "

----------------------

Note she claimed to have ended it because of the way I treated the (luxury) hotel staff on the phone when they actually forgot towels in the bathroom.

I haven't replied. What do you guys think?

 

[betheman]

You're f cucked, just leave it!

 

[SgtSplacker]

Big there's so many things wrong with this I cant even...

Just move on dude, it's high time for some new poon for you.... really

 

[zekko]

Note she claimed to have ended it because of the way I treated the (luxury) hotel staff on the phone when they actually forgot towels in the bathroom.

Weren't you the guy who was saying you would still tip the waitress 20% after she disrespected you? Why be rude to someone because they forgot to leave towels? Just call up the desk and ask for some. No reason to be an @ss about it, despite what they tell you here.

I'm going to go against what probably everyone else here will tell you. It's obvious you're hung up on this chick, just go be with her if you want her so bad. I'm sure she's toxic, but you'll probably be no worse off than you are now. In fact, maybe you just have unfinished business with her. Maybe another round with her will convince YOU that she is bad news, and then you can leave her with a clear conscience, if that's what you want to do. Just don't get her pregnant.

I would reject her just on the grounds that she's a stripper, but apparently your mileage will vary. So just go get it over with instead of mooning over her all the time. Yeah, you'll probably get hurt, but life is pain, right?

 

[d!ckmojo]

She still digs you Big Dog

she would have fcuked 3 other dudes in those 60 days I reckon, minimum.

Now she remembers how good YOU were, haha.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

If I tell you to date her again, will you stop talking about her?

 

[Serg897]

Bigneils actions here provide more evidence that even if we are regulars on this website and have read and absorbed the material here for years, we can STILL do AFC things, and justify it to ourselves in ridiculous ways. I've done it before.

 

[Skalioppe]

My opinion, she's just being polite to your texts, but the jazz just isn't playing sweetly for her mate.

I don't want to patronize you by saying the text exchange sounded good, so I'll just be honest. You came across drippy, sad, negative desperate energy vibe, and non-alpha a fvck, problems highlighted in bold.

11:30PM - "Dear Stripper, The club just isn't the same without you. Bigneil".
11:36PM - "Well then I guess you shouldn't go there!"
11:43PM - "Would you prefer I didn't?"

No, No, No, No, NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Omega male response, asking permission, bowing to her, emasculating yourself.

(one hour elapses)

I'm not surprised...

12:47AM - "Why are you texting me?"
12:54AM - "I didn't think we were on bad terms after so long. I must have hurt your feelings if you are still angry with me. I am still learning and trying to grow."
12:57AM - "I would reconsider if 1) You didn't have anger issues 2) You weren't so mean to people that make a mistake on the job and 3) Didn't talk about your ex girlfriends every single second. Those are my only problems. "

As an example of how one of your texts could have been written come across positive in energy and non-desperate....

11:30PM - "Hey Stripper. Wow, this club misses your personality a touch!"

But anyway, she's dangling a carrot to you, you'll inevitably bite. But she'll probably sh1t on you shortly afterwards. It's women and their scorned "I'll punish you, drop you, but make you jump through hoops a little first" sh1t.

My text to her now would be...

"Stripper, yeah, your points were spot on, you've exposed me there, pretty sh1t, huh? So, are you going to help me get better as a man or what?"

It appeases her anger, admits a little fault (women love that sh1t), still comes across as masculine, Alpha-ry and throws THE question you really want to ask back at her. Sh1t or bust gamble.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Real talk. Can't believe I'm seeing a thread like this from a veteran member.

I've been a member of a NFL football forum for 10 years. Doesn't make me a pro football player. Know what I'm sayin?

 

[Skalioppe]

Real talk. Can't believe I'm seeing a thread like this from a veteran member.

Some people talk the talk, but don't necessarily walk the walk.

But also a possibility in his defence, everyone has an Achilles heal, "The One", the weakness. Even guys spinning loads of plates, that women is often a Siren... singing us to our doom.

 

[cordoncordon]

Well it had been over 60 days since I cancelled our last date and walked away, officially ending our 6 month courtship (due to her acting like a woman scorned for a whole month after our first fight). But as many of you know, I couldn't forget the stripper. So last night I finally broke down. After I went to her club (where for the second time she was not working) I texted her (her replies in italics):

11:30PM - "Dear Stripper, The club just isn't the same without you. Bigneil".
11:36PM - "Well then I guess you shouldn't go there!"
11:43PM - "Would you prefer I didn't?"

(one hour elapses)

12:47AM - "Why are you texting me?"
12:54AM - "I didn't think we were on bad terms after so long. I must have hurt your feelings if you are still angry with me. I am still learning and trying to grow."
12:57AM - "I would reconsider if 1) You didn't have anger issues 2) You weren't so mean to people that make a mistake on the job and 3) Didn't talk about your ex girlfriends every single second. Those are my only problems. "

----------------------

Note she claimed to have ended it because of the way I treated the (luxury) hotel staff on the phone when they actually forgot towels in the bathroom.

I haven't replied. What do you guys think?

A#1 example of what I said 2 weeks ago and many times before that. That is, how can anyone possibly listen to you for advice when you have so many obvious issues?? Mind blowing.

I mean, you are the classic afc here, and she is the alpha.

Just really really bad man.

 

[cordoncordon]

Interesting that she brought up two things that I have said about you for a long time. One, that you have deep rooted anger issues, and two, you obsess over things like there is no tomorrow. I think that was my first ever post to you in fact. Your OCD. Please seek some psychological help. You really need it.

 

[MM92]

you're blatantly obsessed with a stripper loooooool this is hilarious

 

[cordoncordon]

I'm in love with a stripperrrrrr


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKcr5vkOxNs

 

[Solomon]

Interesting that she brought up two things that I have said about you for a long time. One, that you have deep rooted anger issues, and two, you obsess over things like there is no tomorrow. I think that was my first ever post to you in fact. Your OCD. Please seek some psychological help. You really need it.

Cord you of all people should know that men who are successfull finaically are OCD (semi-srs)

On another note I don't blame BigNeil the stripper must be one shagging minx in the sack.

http://benigngirl.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/stripper_ironing.jpg

^^^I mean what they can do on that der pool, will turn any man out.

BigNeil just write her a check

 

[pdx1138]

Bigneils actions here provide more evidence that even if we are regulars on this website and have read and absorbed the material here for years, we can STILL do AFC things, and justify it to ourselves in ridiculous ways. I've done it before.

I have as well.

gotta keep that guard up!!

 

[TonyBaloney]

Bigneil.

I feel your inner sadness for the first time.

All the "I know how to treat a woman, you should do this or that, blah, blah, blah" never washed with me.

For a start, a man who really likes puss wouldnt be wasting playing time on this board. Afterall, you either got it or you havent. No postings of advice can change a mans temperament.

B honest for a change - admit you miss this woman, she broke your heart, your mad, angry and wanna be with her again. Once you accept that, AND THEN either get messed around again and finally say goodbye, or acknowledge that her bad traits outweigh the good, and throw the towel in, rather than all this nonsense that your doing an alpha thing or generally trying out what all these inexperienced teenagers (most of them) are advising. Trust your gut and go with the flow.

I am speaking to you as a nearly 40 year old, who has just done 9 months FULL NO CONTACT. The thing is, my ex LTR was on/off for 3.5 years. I went back, and back, and back......more pain, hurt, all the time knowing deep inside that it wasnt right, but hoping aginst hope that my DREAM would come alive......

Dont waste your time, but if you must, you must.

All the best








Your not a bad lookin

 

[perseverance]

I feel for you BigNeil.

Every man who has ever had deep-rooted feelings for woman knows how hard it is to move on and accept things that are dead and buried.

I think your ability to move on will be stronger and met with more conviction once you learn to see that this woman has no feelings for you, just look at her responses to your text messages. The fact she never got back to once during the NC says that she wants nothing more to do with you.

It's a bitter pill to swallow my friend, but the sooner you swallow it, the sooner you can move on.

 

[bigneil]

Why be rude to someone because they forgot to leave towels? Just call up the desk and ask for some. No reason to be an @ss about it, despite what they tell you here.

Because the hotel cost a fortune, and I still left a tip. But you agree with the stripper that I was wrong. I think she's right also, which is why this isn't some condition I can't accept. She's asking me to do things I should do, not things I shouldn't. She's helping me to improve. And she hasn't even seen me since I lost 30 lb, largely inspired by her.

Interesting that she brought up two things that I have said about you for a long time. One, that you have deep rooted anger issues, and two, you obsess over things like there is no tomorrow.

So shouldn't you like her by now? I think she's funny. Most of you guys are way too negative. She could have just not replied, nevermind immediately. Had she said "Well then you shouldn't go there without me!" it would have been positive. Why would she be happy to know I was there without her? She clearly had an issue with me being with other women.

I gave her an easy out by asking "would she prefer I didn't" go to her club but she didn't say I shouldn't. Then she answered my question with a question.

Then she said she'd reconsider and listed a bunch of minor issues. The fact she ended with a smiley face showed she is no longer bitter. I hadn't got a smiley face from her since the last time I got head. You don't know how angry she was.

How can you not love a girl that sends a bullet point list of improvements I need to make in 3 minutes at 1AM, and is animated enough to say "every single second"? She should be a forum member. If she is still reciting minor details about me 4 months after the hotel trip she hasn't forgotten me.

 

[bigneil]

Some people talk the talk, but don't necessarily walk the walk.

But also a possibility in his defence, everyone has an Achilles heal, "The One", the weakness. Even guys spinning loads of plates, that women is often a Siren... singing us to our doom.

I didn't mention the 2 other strippers who gave me their numbers and already texted.

This one is definitely a siren. I told her that on Valentine's Day. But how is it doom when a 20 year old is reconsidering a relationship within 1 hour of my contacting her? I'm thinking there could be great makeup sex.

Granted, it started out bad. I was in an 0-2 hole. But then I lined a game-tying single to center. Can't you guys see that I needed to acknowledge that I hurt her feelings and she finally got over it? She was really mad about the other women, point 3, but wasn't going to list that first. Remember that I slept with another girl in April and she found out.