Serg897
Master Don Juan
Sums up my thoughts in a nutshell. Kinda makes me feel better considering what happened to me last year, and how I completely lost myself and went AFC over one girl. And I've been on here on and off since 2001.LE6END said:
Broke NC with Stripper after 9 weeks
- Thread starter bigneil
- Start date
What turned out to be the right answer? Zekko had it right:
After the original 3 text messages I waited 4 days then I simply replied with "I shall meet your Terms & Conditions". (OOH! AFC!).
She then opened up, she apologized, explained details on a lot of things I wasn't clear on, and told me she would get on a plane and fly to see me if she had to (but I'm no longer moving). She's back to being positive.
Watching how it happened, the make-up process was the exact reverse of the unravelling:
1) Romance
2) Things are a bit awkward.
3) Fight about issue A (minor).
4) Fight about issue B (medium).
5) Fight about issue C (serious).
6) No Contact for 60 days.
7) Apologize for issue C (serious).
8) Resolve issue B (medium).
9) Discuss issue A (minor).
10) Things are a bit awkward.
11) Romance.
Who got it wrong? 90% of you, along with members like this guy with all of 70 posts in his life:zekko said:
Because to try and take THREE TEXT MESSAGES and read into it to the point of these life-changing revelations is absurd. It was ANALYSIS PARALYSIS. The BOTTOM LINE: those messages achieved what the OP wanted: to get her back in his life.LE6END said:
After the original 3 text messages I waited 4 days then I simply replied with "I shall meet your Terms & Conditions". (OOH! AFC!).
She then opened up, she apologized, explained details on a lot of things I wasn't clear on, and told me she would get on a plane and fly to see me if she had to (but I'm no longer moving). She's back to being positive.
Watching how it happened, the make-up process was the exact reverse of the unravelling:
1) Romance
2) Things are a bit awkward.
3) Fight about issue A (minor).
4) Fight about issue B (medium).
5) Fight about issue C (serious).
6) No Contact for 60 days.
7) Apologize for issue C (serious).
8) Resolve issue B (medium).
9) Discuss issue A (minor).
10) Things are a bit awkward.
11) Romance.
Okay, BigNeil, you're right about everything. The situation happened exactly as you had set it out to happen. She was definitely dying to talk to you; itching; craving to hear from you for the last two months, but just didn't contact you..
You aren't an AFC. You just told her you missed her, confessed your faults and assured her you changed. The text "translations" you've provided were definitely, exactly what she was trying to say, but found it difficult to. I'm wrong. The 90% of us were. I made too deep an analysis based on just three text messages, but you had full translations laid out for each one.
What do I know? You had everything figured out, and now she apologized to you, and even wanted to fly out to see you. Looks like it was all just part of BigNeil's plan... She'll want to renew a relationship with you, and spent the remainder of her----- of your life with you. Congratulations, BigNeil. Congrats. Who were we to ever doubt you?
I feel terrible now. Because our perspective is never bias when it comes to someone we desperately want back and would do anything---would believe anything--- to have back. After all, she couldn't have forgotten or moved on from you in just two short months or so. The relationship was unlike anything else. Something no one else would understand.
You aren't an AFC. You just told her you missed her, confessed your faults and assured her you changed. The text "translations" you've provided were definitely, exactly what she was trying to say, but found it difficult to. I'm wrong. The 90% of us were. I made too deep an analysis based on just three text messages, but you had full translations laid out for each one.
What do I know? You had everything figured out, and now she apologized to you, and even wanted to fly out to see you. Looks like it was all just part of BigNeil's plan... She'll want to renew a relationship with you, and spent the remainder of her----- of your life with you. Congratulations, BigNeil. Congrats. Who were we to ever doubt you?
I feel terrible now. Because our perspective is never bias when it comes to someone we desperately want back and would do anything---would believe anything--- to have back. After all, she couldn't have forgotten or moved on from you in just two short months or so. The relationship was unlike anything else. Something no one else would understand.
InnerHappiness
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2012
- Messages
- 145
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- 9
Grats on your 71st post. LOLLE6END said:
Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Exactly. Would it surprise anyone to see that doing the opposite of what forum members think actually produced the desired results?LE6END said:
Another interesting thing: I don't even necesarilly really want to see her. I just wanted to resolve the issue and know what happened.
The moral: if you break NC and find out what went wrong it is worth it.
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Well I went into NC mode after the last conversation and guess who texted at 10PM on a Saturday and wanted me to have a 3 way with her best friend (who she sent a photo of)?
It's official: she is back, and my third text message (see OP) that was so lambasted was the key.
However, after she continued to try and talk me into it for a while I told her I couldn't because I was with someone. Then she flipped out again and said "See? That's the kind of thing you shouldn't tell me! That's your private business! So gross!"
But all I said was "I'm with someone". For all she knew I was with a guy or my mom!
Even if it were a girl (which it was - and she was totally hot), is it just me or is that a bit hypocritical?
So I can sleep with other women as long as she is there, but I can't even mention another one otherwise?? I didn't reply but came so close to nuking it if I had just pressed Send after some of the things I typed.
It's official: she is back, and my third text message (see OP) that was so lambasted was the key.
However, after she continued to try and talk me into it for a while I told her I couldn't because I was with someone. Then she flipped out again and said "See? That's the kind of thing you shouldn't tell me! That's your private business! So gross!"
But all I said was "I'm with someone". For all she knew I was with a guy or my mom!
Even if it were a girl (which it was - and she was totally hot), is it just me or is that a bit hypocritical?
So I can sleep with other women as long as she is there, but I can't even mention another one otherwise?? I didn't reply but came so close to nuking it if I had just pressed Send after some of the things I typed.
zekko
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2009
- Messages
- 16,074
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- 8,922
Really now Bigneil, it sounds like you just contacted her and tried to get back in her good graces simply to gratify your own ego, with no intentions of following through. That sounds a little fvcked up, like something a woman would do.
Solomon
Master Don Juan
Hold da fucc up!!!bigneil said:
A hot stripper text you at 10PM wanting you to bang her out with her (supposedly) hot best friend and you decline?
sir are you a P***gt?
wtf?
:kick:
They were at the club. Even if you are really dating (which we haven't since April) you still have to take care of them at the club. It would have cost me 10 hours salary for both (5 hours each, which is fair since that's how much time they will spend with you in a night - if not overnight), plus drinks. But I would prefer just her at this point, and if you want to know how I got her in the first place, it was by resisting things like this, and by making her orgasm when I had the chance. Only then do they start offering it free.
bigneil said:
I wasn't giving you sh!t earlier I was just confused.
And looks like shes just trying to bank off you. I thought you were going back to her place or something. I wouldn't pay her to get with her either. Especially if you guys were dating at one point.
Solomon
Master Don Juan
so they wanted you to trick for the puzzy?bigneil said:
:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
BigNeil do us all a favor, I have no qualms with you dating younger chicks, I mean get a college freak or something, but pleaseeeeeeee stop messing with strippers aka glorified hookers
Thanks!
First, I have a phone full of text messages from hot strippers who have initiated - they aren't worth noting (or paying), but most people know this story is not the average story.
* I met her at the club so I started as a customer.
* When we dated she offered to do it free (but everyone said I must be paying).
* When we broke up she said I couldn't even pay her if I wanted to (and everyone said she'd never come back because a stripper could meet "richer, better-looking, more dominant men any night of the week").
* Now I'm back to square 1. (Which is moving in the right direction).
It wasn't just about the money because frankly, if I could have paid after the breakup I would have.
Here's the million dollar question: how much would you pay for a chance to have your oneitis ex back in bed, knowing that when she has an orgasm she becomes obsessed? I haven't seen her in 4 months. You must admit, this is a unique situation, at least for my life. I will never date another stripper, but this makeup sex might be a good investment of a few hundred.
Plus, I would like to end with a bang, not with 4 months of texting. No way do I get her back without giving her a good one, plus making her experience rejection (which I read is the only way someone can love you).
That said, she is turning out to be a glorified hooker, no doubt. I'm not sure if that lifestyle is dragging her down, or if she used to just be a better actress. If you guys turn out to be right I'll admit it.
* I met her at the club so I started as a customer.
* When we dated she offered to do it free (but everyone said I must be paying).
* When we broke up she said I couldn't even pay her if I wanted to (and everyone said she'd never come back because a stripper could meet "richer, better-looking, more dominant men any night of the week").
* Now I'm back to square 1. (Which is moving in the right direction).
It wasn't just about the money because frankly, if I could have paid after the breakup I would have.
Here's the million dollar question: how much would you pay for a chance to have your oneitis ex back in bed, knowing that when she has an orgasm she becomes obsessed? I haven't seen her in 4 months. You must admit, this is a unique situation, at least for my life. I will never date another stripper, but this makeup sex might be a good investment of a few hundred.
Plus, I would like to end with a bang, not with 4 months of texting. No way do I get her back without giving her a good one, plus making her experience rejection (which I read is the only way someone can love you).
That said, she is turning out to be a glorified hooker, no doubt. I'm not sure if that lifestyle is dragging her down, or if she used to just be a better actress. If you guys turn out to be right I'll admit it.
TonyBaloney
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2012
- Messages
- 482
- Reaction score
- 20
Im sorry Neil, but i gotta tell it like it is~
# Your freakin out younger members of the site, distilling your twisted logic as rational reasoning: it is nothing of the kind, it is all based on supposition, nothing more. You try double guessing all the while, going off on wild tangents, that may well be far from the truth.
# You are not a true DJ. You are not showing any indicators of TRUE plate theory. No examples given. You come on here with pompous prenouncements, with no case histories to back up your 'advice'
If you have a nervous complaint, as you have mentioned before you have a nervous tick, try other methods of alleviation rather than inventing a fantasy world. All phobias require that you face your demons head on. Stop hiding behind SS as a way to shield you from your anxiety.
# Your freakin out younger members of the site, distilling your twisted logic as rational reasoning: it is nothing of the kind, it is all based on supposition, nothing more. You try double guessing all the while, going off on wild tangents, that may well be far from the truth.
# You are not a true DJ. You are not showing any indicators of TRUE plate theory. No examples given. You come on here with pompous prenouncements, with no case histories to back up your 'advice'
If you have a nervous complaint, as you have mentioned before you have a nervous tick, try other methods of alleviation rather than inventing a fantasy world. All phobias require that you face your demons head on. Stop hiding behind SS as a way to shield you from your anxiety.
