BPD=Last Refuge of Femininity

[The_411]

Yes, I am serious. You can't suspect it. Have you ever suspected a guy having a brain tumor? Or have you ever suspected a friend being schizophrenic? What would you tell your best friend if he came to you and said he suspects his mother is hypomanic or delusional or he suspects she has Tourette syndrome or maybe she's catatonic?

Does it ring any bell? You don't sound too competent now do you?




Nothing. People have been irrational from time immemorial. I don't care about it at all, as soon as you admit that you are rationalizing and fooling yourself to feel better.

It's a buffer ( c.f, Rollo Tommasi) and that's all it is.

According to your logic anyone that isn't a University trained expert would be incapable of analyzing anything and therefore cannot apply logic or reason.

You realize that you're also making the assumption that a PHD must be good at their job and must be able to read people like the back of their hand.

You also are assuming that no non PHD could have possibly researched the topic in greater detail than a Doctor and actually know more than the doctor themselves.

You're welcome to entertain those delusions but I certainly won't.

If my friend came to me with a suspicious I would ask him questions and see if I was able to figure out what was going on and help find him the appropriate specialist because I can't treat people.

However, just because I can't treat people doesn't mean I'm incapable of understanding a cluster B diagnosis and or capable of suspecting the diagnosis.

As for BPD the "experts" can't tell and the reason is they can't is specifically embedded in the strong likelihood that they've never endured an interpersonal relationship with a BPD sufferer. The other issues that clouds the matter is that we're dealing with the human brain so the psyche doctors respond to how someone represents themselves. If all the psyche doctor has is a description from the alleged BPD sufferer as to what's going on and BPD sufferers are masters of manipulation and deceit it stands to reason that a psyche doctor even with all their infinite wisdom could easily be manipulated or deceived, which is often the case.

To be fair I try not to say BPD but rather espouse the idea that if a woman acts crazy it doesn't matter what her diagnosis is you need to get away. However when a man is acting distraught or cannot remove himself from the situation he needs to understand that BPD/cluster B is a possibility and treat the situation as such so he can get away from it as well as understand the potential for destruction should he continue.

I've got over 30 BPD/Cluster B books in my house, which I acquired from a devastating relationship that took me long time to recover from. I even went into an outpatient program for a few weeks and interacted with BPD females and males to help me deal with the craziness I was feeling (PTSD). It was a harrowing experience.

I've reconciled that I played a role in my own disaster and despite that terrible behavior by exBPD I allowed it to continue and for that I'm wholly responsible. I also came to understand that there were things in me that needed to be fixed.

As for how I came to the conclusion she was BPD/HPD 7 of the 9 DSM criteria were met and she was taking meds consistent with people with BPD. Not to mention the absolute shock and horror when I started reading Stop Walking on Eggshells and I Hate You Don't Leave Me. I felt like someone had perfectly described my relationship to a T but hadn't bothered to ask me for my story.

 

[SociopathDatingBPD]

The thread here is full of whining.

How do you get rid of a BPD woman?
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=134717

I am a sociopath currently dating my first BPD woman. I experience it all. It's been 3 months. And currently she's in the pulling away mood. In the 3 months she did tried to manipulated me multiple times. The difference was I was unaffected by her manipulation. I didn't care how she feels. In fact I didn't even notice them most of the time.

The times when I was failing was when I was using advice from this site. My advice is the rules from this site does not work on a BPD woman. You need to be super masculine or a super Don Juan in the territory of James Bond to keep their interest.

I'm here to learn more about BPD and how to handle them as this is my first one.

Just for the record when she ditched me a few days ago. It took me 1 day to get over it.

I speak more later. Ask me anything. I'm a sociopath.

 

[Colossus]

You dont need professional credentials to diagnose a personality disorder, especially when anyone can go out and buy the DSM. HOWEVER---professionals have years of actual clinical experience with these types, and furthermore are trained in higher levels of diagnostic critical thinking than laypersons.

I don't doubt that many guys here have had legitimate BPD experiences, but I still think confirmation bias is a huge problem on this board.

It's also worth noting that psychiatry is probably the last of the subspecialties to get on board with evidenced-based practice. A lot of these diagnoses are still kind of hazy and there is a fair amount of clinical judgment involved. It isnt like diagnosing a meningitis, or a torn ACL where you have clear laboratory and radiographic evidence. There is a lot of subjectivity.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Denial of having BPD is one of the inherent symptoms of BPD, which is why it is nearly impossible for them to get better. There's no medication for it, so therapy is the only way. And people who won't admit they have a problem are not going to go to therapy.

Accusing a BPD woman of having BPD will immediately provoke an angry and sometimes violent response. My bpd girl's former husband once bought the 'Walking on Eggshells' book about bpd, and made the mistake of leaving it laying around. She found it, started screaming, ripped the book in half, and set it on fire in the living room. And remember, this is the girl who inspired this thread about BPD women being the most feminine. Accuse her of being bpd, and she quickly loses her feminine charm.

And regarding to the many disagreements over BPD in this discussion, I think if everyone here had a psch phd, then we would all disagree just as much. We're talking about something unexplored that can't be measured or detected by scientific instruments. We might as well be arguing about life in other galaxies; there's hardly any way to tell who is right or wrong.

 

[Boilermaker]

I've got over 30 BPD/Cluster B books in my house, which I acquired from a devastating relationship that took me long time to recover from. I even went into an outpatient program for a few weeks and interacted with BPD females and males to help me deal with the craziness I was feeling (PTSD). It was a harrowing experience.

I've reconciled that I played a role in my own disaster and despite that terrible behavior by exBPD I allowed it to continue and for that I'm wholly responsible. I also came to understand that there were things in me that needed to be fixed.

Unfortunately, I don't have the time to respectable points made by Danger and others one by one; I largely agree with Danger, but I have a problem with this " I saw a thousand explosions so I am a chemist" , " I bought lots of books on the subject" or "DSM is open to public so go read it" argument(s).

If buying DSM was enough to diagnose BPD, buying lots of physics books would also make you a physicist. This is a bankrupt rationale. You can buy information, you can't buy acquired knowledge.

I have over 50 chess books in my library, but I am a measly Class B player. Yet, I bet I can kick everyone's asses in chess on this forum in less than 3 minutes and then go around and act like I am a Grandmaster, since I can beat every one around me who can't challenge me.

This is exactly what's happening here. Everybody is clueless, but some are just a little less clueless and they think they have all the license to write book-long threads about BPD. Because there's no actual BPD expert here, you guys have all the stage, and ignorant people are bashing others for being ignorant.

On another note:
I haven't had any experience with a BPD, but even if I stumbled into one, I wouldn't let anyone hurt me so hard that I have PTSD afterwards...!
You are right that if hooking up with a woman was a "harrowing experience" for you, you needed to fix some things in you.

Cheers.

 

[The_411]

Unfortunately, I don't have the time to respectable points made by Danger and others one by one; I largely agree with Danger, but I have a problem with this " I saw a thousand explosions so I am a chemist" , " I bought lots of books on the subject" or "DSM is open to public so go read it" argument(s).

If buying DSM was enough to diagnose BPD, buying lots of physics books would also make you a physicist. This is a bankrupt rationale. You can buy information, you can't buy acquired knowledge.

I have over 50 chess books in my library, but I am a measly Class B player. Yet, I bet I can kick everyone's asses in chess on this forum in less than 3 minutes and then go around and act like I am a Grandmaster, since I can beat every one around me who can't challenge me.

This is exactly what's happening here. Everybody is clueless, but some are just a little less clueless and they think they have all the license to write book-long threads about BPD. Because there's no actual BPD expert here, you guys have all the stage, and ignorant people are bashing others for being ignorant.

On another note:
I haven't had any experience with a BPD, but even if I stumbled into one, I wouldn't let anyone hurt me so hard that I have PTSD afterwards...!
You are right that if hooking up with a woman was a "harrowing experience" for you, you needed to fix some things in you.

Cheers.

I'll end this here. You are correct in thinking that just because someone reads books doesn't make them an expert. We can't qualify each person here who claims knowledge and be able to determine the level of their expertise.

Be thankful that you haven't been involved with a BPD woman or at least you weren't with one long enough to be enmeshed in their web. It's absolutely insidious and I was lucky to get out when I did and I was extremely fortunate that there were no marriage or kids.

As for the PTSD part it's part and parcel of being with a BPD for an extended period of time it's not something you can avoid once you get enmeshed with a BPD woman.

Being with someone who is cluster B is one of those things that is extremely difficult to understand unless you've been through it, but once you have the symptoms jump out at you when people describe very specific behaviors.

There's red pill v. blue pill effect here in terms having been exposed to it and not.

 

[Boilermaker]

I'll take your word for it.

And Danger's.

And others'.

I believe you all that it was a genuine and insidious experience.

I might have been abrasive, I apologize for that.

As I earlier said, I am inherently biased and I am trying to fix it.

cheers.