BPD GIRL CUT ME OFF / MET ANOTHER BPD / GENERAL SADNESS

[PokerL]

TLDR: did anything come of the police problem? She brought 5-0 to your mums house that is a major red flag/violation

Nothing no, they came once approx 4 weeks ago while I was away and heard nothing since. I asked her about it and she told me that she just went to complain about me having an adult related video of us against her will but she didn't want any charges pressed at all. I kinda assumed with her recent problems in the past few weeks they might've just thought she was crazy ? Idk. Anyway she didn't mean any harm by it, she was probably just scared

 

[Murk]

Nothing no, they came once approx 4 weeks ago while I was away and heard nothing since. I asked her about it and she told me that she just went to complain about me having an adult related video of us against her will but she didn't want any charges pressed at all. I kinda assumed with her recent problems in the past few weeks they might've just thought she was crazy ? Idk. Anyway she didn't mean any harm by it, she was probably just scared

No. The fact she didn’t want to press charges aka had a change of heart made then fall back.

Very dangerous girl. Do you still have the vid? If so delete it (or put it in the cloud if you want that wanking material). She can get your phone confiscated assuming your in the UK where they have ramped up security around the aptly named “revenge porn”.

Bro just move on, you said you were a loner but you gamed 2 chicks already so your obviously capable.

Is this stress not impacting your poker career? Part time right myself but won 8k placing low down on a major tourny last year.

 

[PokerL]

No. The fact she didn’t want to press charges aka had a change of heart made then fall back.

Very dangerous girl. Do you still have the vid? If so delete it (or put it in the cloud if you want that wanking material). She can get your phone confiscated assuming your in the UK where they have ramped up security around the aptly named “revenge porn”.

Bro just move on, you said you were a loner but you gamed 2 chicks already so your obviously capable.

Is this stress not impacting your poker career? Part time right myself but won 8k placing low down on a major tourny last year.

I have been reading up on it, I do still have it but she seems ok with it now. I'm not an unappealing person so women do speak to me I suppose I feel very drawn to these damaged creatures. And as I hate being around lots of people it suits me to have a very one on one needy relationship. The stress hasent been great poker wise and I've actually played a lot less. Ran very hot in SNGs and some mid stakes MTTs so gave me a bit of a cushion but I can feel the edge online decreasing almost monthly. Such a hard way to make a living, worst case I'd just have to play £2/£5 3 nights a week.

 

[Murk]

I have been reading up on it, I do still have it but she seems ok with it now. I'm not an unappealing person so women do speak to me I suppose I feel very drawn to these damaged creatures. And as I hate being around lots of people it suits me to have a very one on one needy relationship. The stress hasent been great poker wise and I've actually played a lot less. Ran very hot in SNGs and some mid stakes MTTs so gave me a bit of a cushion but I can feel the edge online decreasing almost monthly. Such a hard way to make a living, worst case I'd just have to play £2/£5 3 nights a week.

Put the vid on a separate phone or in the cloud and never mention it to her again.

I’m not gonna tell you to spin plates but you should look for someone else for the 1 2 1 attention you need.

If she has a negative impact on your career you need to move on that is another major red flag.

 

[PokerL]

Put the vid on a separate phone or in the cloud and never mention it to her again.

I’m not gonna tell you to spin plates but you should look for someone else for the 1 2 1 attention you need.

If she has a negative impact on your career you need to move on that is another major red flag.

I don't feel I can blame her too much for poker, as things haven't been too bad lately and variance is such a huge factor. I was thinking as we're not together maybe I could meet someone else and detatch slowly ? But that's probably not realistic

 

[MrAddiction]

she didn't mean any harm by it, she was probably just scared

You are rationalizing away bad behaviour.

 

[Murk]

You are rationalizing away bad behaviour.

Definitely, if she’s willing to go to the police and potentially **** your life up (regardless if she later changed her tune) I would cut all contact.

You are underselling yourself, you make a decent living off poker, have a car, can pull chicks, move on.

/thread

 

[PokerL]

You are rationalizing away bad behaviour.

One of the worst parts about it is, she didn't go during the time she had me blocked, she went before during the time we didn't speak for a couple of weeks but reunited, hung out slept together etc and she didn't think to warn me

 

[PokerL]

Definitely, if she’s willing to go to the police and potentially **** your life up (regardless if she later changed her tune) I would cut all contact.

You are underselling yourself, you make a decent living off poker, have a car, can pull chicks, move on.

/thread

Thanks man, I appreciate the kind words. What you're saying isn't wrong, I suppose I just spent all that time wanting her back in my life. Fu ck it I would've given anything for a 5 minute call. The fact that she's returned all be it in a slightly negative fashion is almost thrilling. The pills she's on are problematic, as clearly I can no longer drink with her. So idk what else we'll do.

 

[Murk]

Move on but be there if she wants a shag.

 

[PokerL]

It's funny the last 2 days she's asked me to pick her up / take her in it's felt somewhat like a chore, but as I lay here at home bored I find myself texting her asking if she'll need a lift home. It's unlikely that she will as sunday / monday she usually shares a cab home with the other waitress, but still weird how my mind wants to go and pick her up ... for basically 0 gratification, 10 minutes in the car with a very tired girl who's been wearing all day and is rarely in a good mood at the best of times.

 

[Thorninmyside]

That's because you are dying for validation from her. You're in a bad place brother, certainly no place to be in a relationship or something that seems like one.

 

[soulforge]

This is dude is so desperate for this chick, that he is running a taxi service for her, picking her up and chit!

He admits it's zero gratification and she will be in a mood.. What is wrong with you man!

Even if you cut all contact with this chick.. Guess what? The next chick and the chick after her will treat you like worthless chit too.

Do you know why? Because you are projecting to them that you have NO SELF RESPECT.

This girl reported you to the police and potentially could have ruined you.. Yet you are driving her around.

Your self esteem must be completely tanked man!

Even if you do break away from this one, if you do not do some serious self reflection on how you can better yourself as a person, you will encounter these same problems again.. over and over again..

Then you will be back on here claiming she is CRAZY or BDP where as truthfuly the problem is YOU.

It may seem harsh what we are saying to you, but you really need to be woken up.. being nice about it, doesn't really hit home with guys like you, because your head is completely buried.

 

[PokerL]

This is dude is so desperate for this chick, that he is running a taxi service for her, picking her up and chit!

He admits it's zero gratification and she will be in a mood.. What is wrong with you man!

Even if you cut all contact with this chick.. Guess what? The next chick and the chick after her will treat you like worthless chit too.

Do you know why? Because you are projecting to them that you have NO SELF RESPECT.

This girl reported you to the police and potentially could have ruined you.. Yet you are driving her around.

Your self esteem must be completely tanked man!

Even if you do break away from this one, if you do not do some serious self reflection on how you can better yourself as a person, you will encounter these same problems again.. over and over again..

Then you will be back on here claiming she is CRAZY or BDP where as truthfuly the problem is YOU.

It may seem harsh what we are saying to you, but you really need to be woken up.. being nice about it, doesn't really hit home with guys like you, because your head is completely buried.

I do agree I am the problem here, I could've just ignored her weeks ago, instead here I am as you say. I'd never claim or try to diagnose anyone I'm only vaguely familiar with BPD because she told me she had it almost from day 1. My self esteem is pretty bad, I feel like I couldn't meet anyone else but more to the point I don't want anyone else. Everyone keeps going back to the police thing, for some reason that does not feel like too big of a deal to me but I guess that's because nothing came of it. How would you go about making these changes ? I do agree with most of what you're saying, and I don't think the girl here is the problem. She is very selfish, her moods swing, and she probably doesn't have too many if any deep feelings for me. However i've allowed and I guess almost encouraged this.

 

[PokerL]

She phoned me today around 4pm crying asking if I could take her in, she was in a real state for some reason. I was more than happy to do so as I was just leaving the gym. Anyway she was crying and holding onto me the whole way there, not really getting her words out properly, I felt terrible leaving her. Like it must feel dropping off a child you really love at school when you know they hate it or something like that.

 

[MrAddiction]

She phoned me today around 4pm crying asking if I could take her in, she was in a real state for some reason. I was more than happy to do so as I was just leaving the gym. Anyway she was crying and holding onto me the whole way there, not really getting her words out properly, I felt terrible leaving her. Like it must feel dropping off a child you really love at school when you know they hate it or something like that.

http://gettinbetter.com/needlove.html

 

[soulforge]

Troll

 

[marmel75]

I have been reading up on it, I do still have it but she seems ok with it now. I'm not an unappealing person so women do speak to me I suppose I feel very drawn to these damaged creatures. And as I hate being around lots of people it suits me to have a very one on one needy relationship. The stress hasent been great poker wise and I've actually played a lot less. Ran very hot in SNGs and some mid stakes MTTs so gave me a bit of a cushion but I can feel the edge online decreasing almost monthly. Such a hard way to make a living, worst case I'd just have to play £2/£5 3 nights a week.

"Needy relationship"?? Cmon dude...just stop with this. You are a grown man you don't "need" anyone.

 

[Polysix]

Troll

...or somebodys BPD-Ex...
Is it you my dear?
If so, than let me tell you one thing for good:
It's not me, it's abuot you, it always was.

 

[PokerL]

Things haven't gotten much better, I got a call from her ex the other day and we've been speaking a bit