The sad thing is she's working the next 4 afternoons/nights in a row. I'd rather she just hadent brought up the sex thing then I wouldn't of seemed "disappointed" or tried to change her mind or whatever. Just sorta leaves a bad taste
BPD GIRL CUT ME OFF / MET ANOTHER BPD / GENERAL SADNESS
- Thread starter PokerL
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- bpd borderline
I am listening, just she did have a bad reaction last night I could see she didn't feel good. Although It annoyed me and I probably made my annoyance clear I don't see the manipulation ?
amaterasu
Don Juan
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The whole thing is the manipulation, and you are clearly an example of a chump.
I have had this experience when I was younger. I spent 4 years with her.. All over you one day then failed to recognise your existence the next. Hell of a learning curve and traumatic to get over. Took months...
Break ups, love bombs, hoovers and I fell for it all because I was addicted to the amazing sex.
It is a drug.... They haven't got the capacity to care... Its all lies and manipulation so that they can feel totally on control and in the end its all about her.
You will receive hoovers all the time so they can prove to themselves that they still have you on the hook and click their fingers and you keep running back.
I, to my eternal shame fell for it over and over again as each time I thought she meant what she said only for each discard to get more brutal.
These women have an external façade that they display in public.
Even their closest friends don't know the real person behind the mask.
I believe that this was a learning experience and she had to come into my life to teach me a valuable (yet very painful) lesson.
All that was years ago but my advice for what its worth is pretty much the same.
They will never be 'with' you as a partner/girlfriend and are always on the lookout for their next fix to experience the emotional high from a honeymoon period that every relationship brings.
Please please for the sake of your own sanity take the advice on here and STAY WELL AWAY.
FULL NO CONTACT LIKE A BOSS!
Delete everything - The person you think they are DOES NOT EXIST!
Break ups, love bombs, hoovers and I fell for it all because I was addicted to the amazing sex.
It is a drug.... They haven't got the capacity to care... Its all lies and manipulation so that they can feel totally on control and in the end its all about her.
You will receive hoovers all the time so they can prove to themselves that they still have you on the hook and click their fingers and you keep running back.
I, to my eternal shame fell for it over and over again as each time I thought she meant what she said only for each discard to get more brutal.
These women have an external façade that they display in public.
Even their closest friends don't know the real person behind the mask.
I believe that this was a learning experience and she had to come into my life to teach me a valuable (yet very painful) lesson.
All that was years ago but my advice for what its worth is pretty much the same.
They will never be 'with' you as a partner/girlfriend and are always on the lookout for their next fix to experience the emotional high from a honeymoon period that every relationship brings.
Please please for the sake of your own sanity take the advice on here and STAY WELL AWAY.
FULL NO CONTACT LIKE A BOSS!
Delete everything - The person you think they are DOES NOT EXIST!
I feel awful, I'm not sure why ? Last night wasn't a big deal. She did feel bad, I get it. She rang me today saying she felt awful, seemed to blame me. Asked her how I could let her drink so much when she had 4 days of work ahead. Didn't I care for her ? Etc. I sent a bunch of texts but she barely responded. She called me just as I was heading out with my parents and I said "hi is it urgent just with my mum" .... "no it's not urgent, it never is" and that's it
I feel so upset today, despite this not being the worst situation. I adore her; she's great she was such good company last night. I hate that I've potentially ruined her work week. I didn't know though? She was prescribed these pills, not me. I can't take responsibility
RedScorpion
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Congrats man! You didn't follow our advice at all. Now you know how you feel while dealing with her.
RedScorpion
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You're feeling like **** because she drank alcohol with anti-depressants. Nothing bad happened. By your own words. And yet - "I feel so upset today, despite this not being the worst situation. I hate that I've potentially ruined her work week."
I can't imagine what will happen when you sneeze the wrong way or give some 'real' reason to feel like ****. Like you talking normally to her. "I just dont get it, less than 2 days ago we talked for hours, she told me so much....She could of easily found 2 minutes to text me back, just to put my mind at ease so I could stop worrying... I know i cant go on like this, the pain is too great." - These are your own words less than a week ago.
You simply having a conversation with her is putting you in that mood. Protip - unhealthy and unnatural.
Just keep on 'not abandoning her' until she's driven you insane and a weeping shell of a man. That is the end game, and I'd bet you probably already know that somewhere. Keep on throwing yourself on imaginary daggers. Great job (if it's not clear, I'm trying to snap you back to reality). Trust me... she'll be living on fine on her own without your carcass to pad her feet as she goes.
I had my first session on Thursday, have 9 more covered by my insurance so wel see. I wouldn't troll, achieves nkthjng and it's a serious topic
Seems in a good mood today, phoned to say she's joining the same gym as me though as she said she needs to join one but also finds it suspicious how I disappear there so often yet still look the same as when I joined months ago
soulforge
Master Don Juan
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Is this dude a TROLL or what??
In the odd chance you are genuine.. There is no helping you at all man.. You have been advised so many times now, that you need to break all contact..
Yet here you are again, sinking deeper into the quicksand..
The ONLY way you will learn is, when you completely CRASH and BURN
Although i would not wish this on anyone.. but some people like (poker) need to go through the sheer hell and come close to destruction before the penny finally drops, and they choose to walk away.
You will eventually learn the lesson.. but unfortunately it will be the HARD way!
In the odd chance you are genuine.. There is no helping you at all man.. You have been advised so many times now, that you need to break all contact..
Yet here you are again, sinking deeper into the quicksand..
The ONLY way you will learn is, when you completely CRASH and BURN
Although i would not wish this on anyone.. but some people like (poker) need to go through the sheer hell and come close to destruction before the penny finally drops, and they choose to walk away.
You will eventually learn the lesson.. but unfortunately it will be the HARD way!
I get where people are coming from, this isn't a troll I have better uses of my time. I will post much less, if people would still like to speak privately or have a more in depth look into things I'd welcome any PMs as this has been so interesting.
I think she's making a real effort, she's on her pills, she's not missed any work days. She's joining the gym and it's pretty cool she wanted to join the same one as me. We've had some conflict, a female I used to be vague friend's with asked me if I wanted to go with her and a group of friends from school to Thorpe park on Halloween, and I had to block her which is obviously silly but it saves an argument so I don't care. I'm picking her up from work tonight which is the first time in a while, and we're hanging out a good bit next week. Will update if anything major happens but can appreciate if it's annoying or unnessecary. She's also been sending me a few articles here and there on BPD so I can try to understand her better. She compared it to having overly sensitive skin and constantly being on the sun, but emotions wise instead. So she needs people to be very gentle with her or stay out of her life. Hopefully things are looking up now, at least for the moment.
I think she's making a real effort, she's on her pills, she's not missed any work days. She's joining the gym and it's pretty cool she wanted to join the same one as me. We've had some conflict, a female I used to be vague friend's with asked me if I wanted to go with her and a group of friends from school to Thorpe park on Halloween, and I had to block her which is obviously silly but it saves an argument so I don't care. I'm picking her up from work tonight which is the first time in a while, and we're hanging out a good bit next week. Will update if anything major happens but can appreciate if it's annoying or unnessecary. She's also been sending me a few articles here and there on BPD so I can try to understand her better. She compared it to having overly sensitive skin and constantly being on the sun, but emotions wise instead. So she needs people to be very gentle with her or stay out of her life. Hopefully things are looking up now, at least for the moment.
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You are correct on them wearing a mask they hide the fact they have issues its funny how they can flick the switch on and off when they are alone with you and when somebody comes around. My ex could do that we would be together in my office and she would be her true self a empty lost soul. If somebody would walk in the office she would either hide behind me so nobody would see her or she would put on her mask and be cheery. Nobody truly knew what she was like, the people that she worked with had no clue as she was cheery.
The person I first met didn't exist she became comfortable with me then she revealed her true self I kept her secret for the time we were together then things got ugly between us her laundry got aired it was our biggest fight I revealed her dirty secrets.
Full no contact is right, once they are out of your life they are out for good.
QuadDeuces
Master Don Juan
Watch some videos of Eckhart Tolle about the Pain Body, it might help you letting go. Meditation helps.
Psychological trauma therapy might help, EFT, EMDR.
You can all find this on youtube in your own private space.
Psychological trauma therapy might help, EFT, EMDR.
You can all find this on youtube in your own private space.
This morning was annoying, last night I picked her up from work and she asked if I could take her in the morning (arrive at her house at 9.30am) anyway she texts me as I'm getting ready asking if I could pick her up a bagel from McDonald's on the way which is fine but it's in the opposite direction. Anyway I didn't get to her house until 9.40ish so approx 10-15 minutes late and she was furious saying she'd be late she'd been waiting for ages etc (she wasn't at all) she calmed down on the drive though and said she's looking forward to spending more time with me next week and thanked me for dropping her off. Just gotta be thick skinned to it I guess. But I did go out of my way to wake up early on a sunday etc.
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I couldn't imagine ever wanting to go completely no contact from mine, I feel like whatever she did I'd always be happier just to have a little bit of contact as opposed to when I was blocked. No contact is so final, it's like you're erasing everything good that's ever happened. Even if I was lucky enough to meet someone new, and have a proper relationship with I hope we'd still always have something
