BPD GIRL CUT ME OFF / MET ANOTHER BPD / GENERAL SADNESS

[PokerL]

To offer some funny insight into their relationship BPD 2 strangled BPD 1 in a field when they were 16 to the point where she fell almost unconscious, I've had this story told to me by them both at different times without bringing it up. Also Number 1 went out with number 2s ex and proceeded to get pregnant and have an abortion, though number 2 is convinced she's lying about this to this day. They never liked eachother just became semi friendly around a year ago as they both have private "Vent" accounts on Insta and number 2 made a post saying she'd just been diagnosed which got them talking, not super relevant but of all the people for me number 1 to see a picture of me with in the whole entire world that would probably be her last choice. Also I don't mean any disrespect by saying 1 and 2 etc but it just seems easier until I can think of something better

 

[stovepipe]

It was a strange experience how she came back into contact with me, obviously I sent a threatening message when she wouldn't give me my stuff back, she gave the things back said she was going to the police blah blah blah, we don't speak for 3 weeks I wake and and BPD #2 had tagged me in a picture so BPD #1 has sent me an array of nasty messages we argue etc that's that. I also saw the messages she sent BPD #2 as she was kind enough to send me screen shots so it sort of blew my mind a few days later after threatening me with police, not speaking for almost a month then telling myself along with BPD #2 how sick, disgusting and malicious I am that she was sitting with me happily at dinner giggling, then crying / kissing me non stop in the car, then obviously ****ing me. Then the next day when we got the pill as I said she was super casual, talking about seeing upcoming movies together, telling me about her driving lesson I recall now we even went into the body shop to buy new shampoo together. Then the next night I go into the bar she works in with my parents, her behaviour was off so as I said previously I called her the next day, and she basically told me I raped her the night before. Now don't get me wrong we were both a little inptoxocated but she was incredibly into all of it bar maybe the last few seconds which weren't my fault as such, then the next day blocked, gone without a trace. Vanished. I tried ringing her once from my landline the day she blocked me, she answered I said "hey it's Luke just give me a few seconds" hang up, didn't answer again that day. And haven't tried since.

Did you watch her take the pill? Cause BPD's are notorious for getting prego on purpose and also spreading STD's. My ex told me 5-6 times she bought and took the pill while on her lunch break. BUt she got prego, not once, but twice, both being aborted. But she didn't get prego when I bought the pill and made her take it in front of me. I can tell you're confused about the whole situation. As hard as it is, you must try and let her go for good and don't look back. Both chicks are bad for your health.

 

[PokerL]

Sorry for the delayed response, I just heard from the original Borderline, after 3 weeks NC. We spent about 2 hours on the phone, she told me she attempted suicide about 2 weeks ago, cutting her wrists open at work then attempting to jump in front of traffic in the evening before being sectioned at a clinic in dartford for approx 2 days. Idk if I believe it, but she's re added me on FB snapchat etc. I'm away for the next week at my dad's but she asked if we could go out for drinks or whatever when I'm back and told me she had the most incredible time when we last went out she just needed some time to herself. I'm so confused but id be lying if I said I wasn't happy to hear her voice

 

[Billtx49]

she told me she attempted suicide about 2 weeks ago, cutting her wrists open at work then attempting to jump in front of traffic in the evening before being sectioned at a clinic in dartford for approx 2 days.

but she asked if we could go out for drinks or whatever when I'm back

Heavy duty Hoovering happening here.
Educate yourself about her disorder or you will eventually become a mental basket case like her…

 

[PokerL]

Heavy duty Hoovering happening here.
Educate yourself about her disorder or you will eventually become a mental basket case like her…

How would you handle this ? The call had an almost eery vibe to it, she talked a lot about herself, briefly asked what I'd been up to, I explained id been pretty busy as my grandma died this past week and id had loose ends to tie up which is true and she didn't even ask about it, just moved on to the next topic

 

[Billtx49]

She’s dealing in an entirely selfish frame. Does that sound like a woman you want to spend time with?
Ignore her advances, it’s only a Hoover attempt. If she hooks you again, her next dump is coming sooner than you can imagine…
Bet on it.

 

[stovepipe]

Sorry for the delayed response, I just heard from the original Borderline, after 3 weeks NC. We spent about 2 hours on the phone, she told me she attempted suicide about 2 weeks ago, cutting her wrists open at work then attempting to jump in front of traffic in the evening before being sectioned at a clinic in dartford for approx 2 days. Idk if I believe it, but she's re added me on FB snapchat etc. I'm away for the next week at my dad's but she asked if we could go out for drinks or whatever when I'm back and told me she had the most incredible time when we last went out she just needed some time to herself. I'm so confused but id be lying if I said I wasn't happy to hear her voice

While suicide and cutting is a trait of BPD's, she's more than likely lying so you feel sorry for her and she gets the attention she so desperately needs. Her actions are selfish, hence going NC. What also happens is you tend to forget about the hell she put you thru during NC, as now your mind is focused on the hoover. You feel a sense of relief, like you got that hit of heroin you've been painfully waiting for.

Its all a mental mind fukery of BS. The chick is a nightmare and you'll get trapped in her black widow web if you don't walk away from her FOR GOOD!! If you go back you'll be giving your soul to the devil. Whatever road you chose, I wish you the best hermano.

My work here is done

 

[PokerL]

While suicide and cutting is a trait of BPD's, she's more than likely lying so you feel sorry for her and she gets the attention she so desperately needs. Her actions are selfish, hence going NC. What also happens is you tend to forget about the hell she put you thru during NC, as now your mind is focused on the hoover. You feel a sense of relief, like you got that hit of heroin you've been painfully waiting for.

Its all a mental mind fukery of BS. The chick is a nightmare and you'll get trapped in her black widow web if you don't walk away from her FOR GOOD!! If you go back you'll be giving your soul to the devil. Whatever road you chose, I wish you the best hermano.

My work here is done

I appreciate the time you've spent sharing your wisdom man I mean that, thanks to everyone in fact. This thread has been an eye opener

 

[Infern0]

Sorry for the delayed response, I just heard from the original Borderline, after 3 weeks NC. We spent about 2 hours on the phone, she told me she attempted suicide about 2 weeks ago, cutting her wrists open at work then attempting to jump in front of traffic in the evening before being sectioned at a clinic in dartford for approx 2 days. Idk if I believe it, but she's re added me on FB snapchat etc. I'm away for the next week at my dad's but she asked if we could go out for drinks or whatever when I'm back and told me she had the most incredible time when we last went out she just needed some time to herself. I'm so confused but id be lying if I said I wasn't happy to hear her voice

Standard recycle.

See how she says she made a suicide attempt then one of her first priorities is to hit you up to go out for drinks. It doesn't make sense.

Dont be surprised if after you spent another 2 hours talking to her she's had her emotional fill and suddenly gets "busy" when it's time to actually meet up.

She's played you expertly, and now you are right where she wants you.

Im putting it to you this way because you are no match for her, and even we can only give limited advice how to handle it.

Right now you are like a guy who has had 1 week of boxing training going up against mike tyson. RECOGNIZE the danger of the situation and if you do decide to go ahead do so as mindfully as possible and don't fall into fantasy thinking regarding her.

You cannot change her so if you stay in contact you must accept that she's a damaged person who you have no control over and who has no capacity to care about how her actions will affect you.

So if you move forward with her accept that and don't blame her when she starts playing up because you know what she is now.

 

[PokerL]

I suppose there's nothing I can really do until I'm back home in 5 days, until then I'm just going to try and avoid saying anything stupid or bothering her in any way as I know she's working all weekend anyway. I had a huge high whilst I was speaking to her, and felt amazing when I went to bed but I've hit almost a come down now.

 

[MrAddiction]

I'm just going to try and avoid saying anything stupid or bothering her in any way .

So you decided to go against any advice ob here and instead of going NC again you are already reengaging in walking on eggshells. Is that really what you want? Always walking on eggshells?
Wake up, wake up, wake up. That whole Story reads like a classy textbook BPD case for all the veterans that survived one and are educated about hoovering.
Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.

 

[stovepipe]

Comment left by a BPD after I said to man up and take responsibility for your actions after they posted the meme below. Some of them were posting the dumbest ch!t I ever read.

PokerL, take note, run for the got dam hills and don't look back hermano!!

" I understand but emotionally hurting someone is not our fault. We harm ourselves worse than others. They can shut us out of their life and move on but we can't run from ourselves."

 

[PokerL]

I appreciate what you're saying, I suppose she's just someone I crave so deeply. I was thinking maybe I could just become less obsessed, keep her on FB and chat occasionally on the phone if she calls, and if she wants to meet up once a or twice month or whatever that would be great too. As opposed to seeing her most days, taking/collecting her from work etc etc

 

[stovepipe]

I appreciate what you're saying, I suppose she's just someone I crave so deeply. I was thinking maybe I could just become less obsessed, keep her on FB and chat occasionally on the phone if she calls, and if she wants to meet up once a or twice month or whatever that would be great too. As opposed to seeing her most days, taking/collecting her from work etc etc

Thats like saying you can only take one line of coke. Of course you crave her, these women are like drugs. You get to the point where you need them, you crave them, you just want one more hit even after she treats you look dog sh!t. Then when its all over, she ruins your life, you're left to put yourself back together and feel such shame in yourself for getting played by someone so toxic that didn't truly give AF about you.

 

[Billtx49]

you're left to put yourself back together and feel such shame in yourself for getting played by someone so toxic that didn't truly give AF about you.

The only thing worse than that is going back for another dose of toxic after knowing what the risk is…

 

[PokerL]

Thats like saying you can only take one line of coke. Of course you crave her, these women are like drugs. You get to the point where you need them, you crave them, you just want one more hit even after she treats you look dog sh!t. Then when its all over, she ruins your life, you're left to put yourself back together and feel such shame in yourself for getting played by someone so toxic that didn't truly give AF about you.

I mean that is basically how I've spent the last 3 weeks feeling to be blunt, I assumed she was gone forever especially given the mistakes I'd made to add to things.

 

[stovepipe]

The only thing worse than that is going back for another dose of toxic after knowing what the risk is…

Unfortunately I went back a few times only to overdose and almost die.

 

[PokerL]

Unfortunately I went back a few times only to overdose and almost die.

The thing is as people, her and I get on incredibly well. She also has this very childlike persona at times where she's curious about everything, giggly, shy etc just incredibly sweet. It's difficult to explain

 

[Billtx49]

Unfortunately I went back a few times only to overdose and almost die.

Yep, the longer it goes on, the more mental and emotional destruction you get.

 

[Polysix]

Wake the f<ck up PokerL and listen to those who´ve been there.