Borderline Personality Disorder woman

[BlueAlpha1]

@BlueAlpha1

Your entitled to your opinion. However, I am more aware of the relationship dynamic than anyone else here.

Uh huh. You're not the first victim of BPD to tell himself that while nobody else could control her before he is the one who can if he just acts alpha enough. Right. That's just another form of bargaining.

These musings in the NC thread were my therapy and NC was about me finding clarity and understanding what it was about both of us that made things go so badly.

Nothing wrong with therapy, but it was obvious you were wasting your time. You went back for more and it was pretty obvious you were going to do so throughout.

As I've said a few times. You are projecting YOUR experiences on to MY situation.

Spare me the armchair psychology with these pseudo-psychological terms like projection. You don't know what you're talking about.

From what I know you were STALKING your ex post breakup for Christ sake. We are not functioning on the same degree of emotional involvement or neediness.

I did partake in that sort of idiocy about 3-4 years ago. And you're right we're not functioning on the same degree of neediness. I was worse off 3 years ago than you are today, but I am better off today than you are today. I miss my ex for a few days every couple of months. You on the other hand, even with this buffet of food in front of you called 5 dates per week, continue to sift through expired food in the dumpster. Have you looked at your ex's social media in the last 37 days? Then you were stalking also.

Perhaps you can't imagine a man can still have the power to arrange 5 dates and miss his ex because you've never been in such a situation?

Exactly as predicted - an ad hominem attack from a hyper-sensitive victim during the bargaining phase. Nothing new here. Whether or not you have lined up 5 dates in a week is irrelevant, the point is your attitude and language is inconsistent with someone who has those kinds of options.

We see this now and are on this path together for the time being. However she is not my everything and never will be.

Close enough. During my darkest hour my ex WAS my everything, and my language was so similar to yours it's eerie. A lot of bluster, but NC was nothing more than a plan to lure her back in for more.

How many hours did you spend in the NC thread over 37 days pining and having a two way conversation with yourself, only to regress back to square one? For being so casual about her you sure spent a lot of time to get here.

If she reverts to this Hyde persona again, even though I'm not the same sadistic guy anymore then I can hold my hands up and say I did all I could and say you guys were right. It's not the end of the world. No real loss other than delayed emotional pain. However if not, then taking the risk would have been worth it.

If she is BPD, you will fail. Maybe you won't fail, but I didn't classify her as BPD. You did.

 

[BeTheChange]

@BlueAlpha1

I'm good. I'm happy. I'm grounded.

And to answer your question there was no stalking on my part in any capacity, social media or otherwise. The times I wrote in the NC thread (averaging 30 minutes a day) was the time I allowed myself to grief - which for a 3 year relationship is perfectly normal so spare me your snide remarks about "pining".

Nothing to worry about. I forced myself to be introspective. Came out the other end and realised I was more of the problem than she was. I wanted something and I took it. It's that simple. If it doesn't work out we'll both be OK. I'm not stupid enough to put myself in a situation where I can be exposed and neither is she.

Can I ask you to be honest. Based on the fact you were stalking your ex she presumably wanted nothing to do with you and she ended things? I feel this is potentially driving some of the butthurt you're throwing at me in this thread. We're not the same my friend.

 

[RxDoom]

You can't prove that. even if, hypothetically speaking, you were that doesn't make it ok. if an alcoholic beats his wife he probably didn't mean it, but his sober wife doesn't see it that way.

I don't think it makes it ~okay~ but it's like someone with cancer being blamed for having cancer or whatever

 

[BlueAlpha1]

The times I wrote in the NC thread (averaging 30 minutes a day) was the time I allowed myself to grief - which for a 3 year relationship is perfectly normal so spare me your snide remarks about "pining".

You were pining. The fact you're defensive about that is where you're going wrong. There is nothing wrong with pining especially during those first 60 days. The problem is you're all over the place. In one post you're the phoenix with clipped wings, hurt and vulnerable but about to rise from the ashes again, and in another you're the Dark Lord who did the heartbreaking and is overwhelmed with regret. You kept talking about self-transcendence (whatever that means), how the night is darkest before dawn, and with all this metaphorical, melodramatic stuff. You also called her a "monster underneath", said "she is nothing" and then gave us this gem.

"Trust me. Do not break NC even if your hope is to reconcile, which seems to be a convenient excuse for lots of men to fall back. After three weeks you will be a lot more centred and at four you will wonder why you ever even cared as much as you did."

So what was your excuse for buckling at the 5 week mark? It was weakness, like it ALWAYS IS with BPD victims, but you're petrified to acknowledge the weakness within, hence the overemphasis and bluster on everything.

Can I ask you to be honest. Based on the fact you were stalking your ex she presumably wanted nothing to do with you and she ended things? I feel this is potentially driving some of the butthurt you're throwing at me in this thread. We're not the same my friend.

My ex and I were together 4 years. The middle 2 years were bad and when I was reducing to a beta who spoke very much the way you're speaking now. The last year was very much like the first, complete with the entire love bombing scene of the early days relived. But ultimately we both moved to different states and after one final visit she disappeared. So it didn't end the way you're hoping it did so that you can continue to attack my credibility.

You asking me to be honest is the official moment irony died. I accepted the fact that I was weak. I wasn't blustering and talking with a god complex. You're having a two way conversation with two versions of yourself on this forum daily. If you were honest yourself you would admit you've been weak from the start, culminating in your breaking NC, and then maybe you could actually recover from this. The point is I knew reading your posts you were seconds away from cracking. And you smashed 5 times in a day, correct? Come down off your ivory tower, that is textbook BPD hoovering so she can play you like a toy again.

You're right about one thing. We're nothing alike now. I'm actually grounded and you're arrogant and deluded with exaggerated confidence.

 

[Asmodeus]

I accepted the fact that I was weak. I wasn't blustering and talking with a god complex.

We only grow stronger when we face the fact that we have weaknesses.

@BeTheChange.... I will be honest in that I think you are making a mistake... I know you will likely disregard this. You need to break out of this cycle. Always going back to her and trying to fix what is broken... Is it possible that this is beyond repair?
The definition of insanity... Is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results...

I don't think it makes it ~okay~ but it's like someone with cancer being blamed for having cancer or whatever

There is a dichotomy... The mind body duality. The mind is the author of feeling and emotions. The mind is an organ, a physical structure like all parts of the body it can suffer from disease and abnormal functioning. Do not mind it RxDoom... Your condition tends to make it such that you are more likely to take things personally, but just let it fall off and see the futility and foolishness of it.

 

[BeTheChange]

You were pining. The fact you're defensive about that is where you're going wrong. There is nothing wrong with pining especially during those first 60 days. The problem is you're all over the place. In one post you're the phoenix with clipped wings, hurt and vulnerable but about to rise from the ashes again, and in another you're the Dark Lord who did the heartbreaking and is overwhelmed with regret. You kept talking about self-transcendence (whatever that means), how the night is darkest before dawn, and with all this metaphorical, melodramatic stuff. You also called her a "monster underneath", said "she is nothing" and then gave us this gem.

"Trust me. Do not break NC even if your hope is to reconcile, which seems to be a convenient excuse for lots of men to fall back. After three weeks you will be a lot more centred and at four you will wonder why you ever even cared as much as you did."

So what was your excuse for buckling at the 5 week mark? It was weakness, like it ALWAYS IS with BPD victims, but you're petrified to acknowledge the weakness within, hence the overemphasis and bluster on everything.



My ex and I were together 4 years. The middle 2 years were bad and when I was reducing to a beta who spoke very much the way you're speaking now. The last year was very much like the first, complete with the entire love bombing scene of the early days relived. But ultimately we both moved to different states and after one final visit she disappeared. So it didn't end the way you're hoping it did so that you can continue to attack my credibility.

You asking me to be honest is the official moment irony died. I accepted the fact that I was weak. I wasn't blustering and talking with a god complex. You're having a two way conversation with two versions of yourself on this forum daily. If you were honest yourself you would admit you've been weak from the start, culminating in your breaking NC, and then maybe you could actually recover from this. The point is I knew reading your posts you were seconds away from cracking. And you smashed 5 times in a day, correct? Come down off your ivory tower, that is textbook BPD hoovering so she can play you like a toy again.

You're right about one thing. We're nothing alike now. I'm actually grounded and you're arrogant and deluded with exaggerated confidence.

OK. That's your reality. I however, see things differently. Best of luck.

 

[Asmodeus]

She's bdp. She's going to take it real personally, can't control it remember? why you white knighting a bdp any ways? What do you care?

You're literally trying to fix her by giving advice for her to not take it personally when you know she can't help but take it personally.

I am cluster B... ASPD. You seem to be under the assumption I am a white knight. But that is not true, I have actually abused women and see them as nothing more than objects. I objectify women to the existential extreme of it. so I am the antithesis of a white knight. I help her not because she is female, but because I have camaraderie with those who are insane. You can see this as a trend in me here. Also, I actually help out on psychology forums and in a behavioral hospital. I rather find normals like you pathetic. What gives you the holier than thou belief that you are superior?

And I know more about this than you. And know she has at least some control over it.

 

[Asmodeus]

IYou cannot cure insanity... But seems as though one cannot cure stupidity either.
You also do not want to get ASPD cases angry. Literally the most dangerous thing in the world is an angry ASPD. Normals are funny... You all just posture, the threats are nothing more than a display, like a gorilla thumping on his chest. You fight simply to prove your stronger and more dominant. You do not seek to actually harm the person, you just seek to show your power. You seem to think that ASPD cases think like you, feel like you. That is the error of all normals, you cannot grasp and understand insanity, so you assume they are no different. ASPD do not posture, they do not care about it... They dehumanize you. And they do not fear, not you, not the law, not anything so nothing can stop them. They like to inflict pain, to hurt, to torture. You cannot comprehend their violence and rage. An ASPD case that is pissed and flies off the handle is likely to literally rape your anus in a fury of anger or just murder you and rip apart your corpse. If you do not believe me, do some research. The Internet provides people with safety, distance, and annonimity. So you can hide behind it and continue to posture and make people think you are brave and strong. It is all just a display. But if you ever met an ASPD in real life you would be extremely foolish to tempt a monster.

Mods, I am not threatening him. I am simply educating... He is not worth my time. In fact, I am blocking him.

 

[Asmodeus]

He is scared. He is so scare he cannot even give me his name.

 

[Asmodeus]

He is a little scared B!tch... Everyone look at @Soflobro. He is afraid of me a little special snowflake

 

[Asmodeus]

You can hide on the Internet. That makes you brave.

 

[Asmodeus]

You are so scared you cannot give me your name. want mine, so you can look it up? Maybe? If I give you mine promise you will give me yours.

 

[Asmodeus]

I am just a little girl, a special snowflake. Nothing to be afraid of right.

 

[Asmodeus]

You have no reason to fear me. I am just joking, playing. I am not a sociopath. How funny is it right. At least you saw through the illusion. See nothing to fear.

 

[Asmodeus]

Why are you hiding if you have nothing to fear?
I am weak, I am a pvssy, a little punk. No fear of me.

 

[Asmodeus]

So you are not afraid of a pansy little girl snowflake... But you will not give this pansy snowflake your name?

 

[Asmodeus]

May 28 is your birthday? Sorry I missed it, I would ha e sent you a happy birthday card.

 

[Asmodeus]

This is getting boring. You will just hide, I am not the one hiding... And the crazy part is, you have nothing to fear. Nothing at all. You cannot honestly believe I would go through all the effort of finding you do you?

 

[Asmodeus]

You can throw a tantrum all you want. this sh1ts entertaining to me.

Sadistic tendencies.
Maybe you are the dangerous psycho?
I am getting a little scared here.

So who are you? Come on, show me some more posturing, keep thumping your chest.

 

[Asmodeus]

If you're not hiding post your full name right here and now. but you're a weak little girl so you won't.

You promise to give me yours? It would be a fair trade.