Bootcamp started May1st, Week #2

[Julian]

Alright guys today was a good day Aweseome sunny weather...the perfect day.... It started off slow, i was being a pansy and not making any attempts at convo's. Dropped a job application off downtown...grabbed some grub and walked around feeling kind of crappy. My mind was clouded with thoughts of my future and life in general. So i decided to check out the local downtown campus and give myself a tour (and do some approaches) and contemplate further education.

Heres the picture, very nice campus on the edge of a beautiful inner city park, lots of people around the park, great place to approach...campus was a little quiet but there were still people around to talk to.

So heres a break down.


Convo # 1 - Outside campus building near bike racks. blonde obese girl. I approached by walking passed her slowly and getting instep with her then asking about the school etc..general fluff about the campus. Convo was about 2 minutes.

Convo # 2 - Bearded guy who was sitting on some steps smoking a cig. I walked passed him about 15 feet, kinda glanced his direction, doubled back and walked directly up to him. I said greeted him "wasap dude". and leaned against the wall next to him, asked him what he thought about the campus and that i was a prospective student...asked him about some herbal supplements haha. Lasted about 3 min

Convo # 3 - I was walking down this sidewalk lined by trees and the park on 1 side, the school on the other. a short chubby asian girl was about 10 feet behind me, i slowed down and checked the time, as she approached i opened up by saying "hey whatsup, hows it going?" then started asking her about the school (notice a pattern? heh). Convo went well, lasted about 3 mins.

Convo# 4 - 2 set. 1 german guy and 1 artsy type of chick who was puffin a cig at the edge of the park. I was like "wasap guys" andjust started talking about class sizes, majors etc. 3 min convo.

Convo # 5 - Alternative type of girl named Arie. 17, cute, not really my type tho...she was nice. No attitude. This was my longest convo, maybe 7 minutes or so..She was sitting on the grass in the park next to a tree reading a book, i approached and just said "hey hows it goin" My voice was really low key, seductive, i just kind of let the words flow. I sat down across from her and we spoke about school, music, hiphop where we lived etc. Decent convo overall. I shook her hand and exchanged names as i excused myself. Smooth sailing.

Convo # 6/7 ****- Dunno if these count ....brazilian girl was standing next to me in the campus building looking at brochures, i asked her something about them and she was very nice..i could have taken it further but was not that interested. Convo lasted 1 minute. The other, i was walking thru the park, spotted cute blonde who was reading, i walked passed and asked if she went to school in the area, she said no, sorry so i say "ok nm then" and continue on my way. Those were kind of lame but i figured id mention them anyway.

My sticking point is actually starting convo's and getting digits from girls who make my jaw drop when i see them (which are really the only girls im after). For instance, the exact type of girl i like, hot, asian, stylishly dressed walked passed me on some stairs. I froze and said nothing. I did make heavy eye contact but she didnt even glance. She was indoors wearing big sunglasses and headphones. They were obstacles that succeeded in stopping me. She was the most attractive female i saw ALL DAY.

So i gotta find a way passed this..its not even a matter of finding the time in mustering up the balls to do it because these situations always occur when i least expect them so i have no time to pump myself up...hence going thru this bootcamp so it becomes 2nd nature and when i come across a girl, any girl...that Im attracted to i will simply start talking to them and close the deal.

 

[Bourne]

5/15

Went job hunting today but stopped off at random places. I tried to talk to girls more then strangers.

1 Failed.
At the line for food at the mall I asked a guy if he tried anything from the new menu. One word answer from him. NO.

1/15:
At Department store asked a cute girl who was shopping for jewelry an opinion on a gift, that led to a conversation. Later saw her walking around the mall and she had a huge smile. Damnit, should have number closed.

2/15:
Chatted up a guy in a videogame store about games and system consoles.

3/15:
Walked into Bad Bath and Beyond. Reason was to have more conversations to add under my belt. Chatted up a girl who was filling out an application. I sat down to fill one out too. Ended up getting her number.

4/15:
Chatted up a bored cashier while I was waiting for an interview on the spot in Bad Bath and Beyond. I ended up giving her my number and walking away, because I really didn't want an interview.

5/15:
Chatted up 3 hostesses while I was waiting for another interview an another place. I was waiting by the tables, but then walked over and started to talk to them about random sh1t.

 

[Thomas94305]

15 convo's Ocean? Dang.. DJBC sez 10..

7/15 right now...

OK.. some key points helping me.. My mindset - I want a conversation, and want to know the person. "I want a conversation".. I want to socialize, and I'm first focusing on that, not making the other person happy. Also, "want to know the other person", one of my biggest helps is to earnestly be there with that person.. don't look around, don't see who else is there to talk with. That just kills the convo because I'm telegraphing that I don't really want to talk with this person.

When a convo goes bad, and we don't get much beyond opening, I don't make a big deal of it. I just move on to others who are more open to socializing.. I'm learning to respect the ebb and flow of people coming in and out of my life.. others will come along.

Hi's are still a great tool. Today, I felt really down.. I said hi's to half a dozen people, and got nothing .. then I said to myself.. I don't care what others think, I want them to say hi to me. I gave much stronger hi's to people, more forward about greeting them, as opposed to a quiet hi. Got smiles, hi's back then.. great lesson for convo's.. open assertively.

2 convo's Sunday.. one at church.. other at a coffee shop. Both around 15 minutes. One at coffee shop.. woman reading a booklet.. asked her "what you got there.. what you reading?" She discussed how she's on a panel evaluating breast cancer research.. what a loaded topic. I didn't make boob jokes.. maybe I should've?? She's probably heard them.. anyhow, I do research too, so we discussed proposals, what it's like to pitch ideas for funding..etc. Eventually spun into my work, she brought up how they never figured out why bee's fly.. I said.. it's because of turbulence, bee's create a wave of it, and ride on it.. talked about golf balls with divets because the turbulence divets create makes them fly straight. Obviously..a nerdy and interesting discussion.

Today.. 5 convo's. One was a 2 minute job with another engineering student.. felt like I was interrogating him.. Engineers aren't known for being sociable.. Went to a coffee shop, had another 2 minute convo there, gal.. seemed sweet, but did not think up enough to extend the convo. She's studying international finance.. I could have went into why she chose that, what makes her passionate about things.. eventually talk about her fun side, the complete person.. but did not.. UGH...

Got a mother's day card.. an elderly woman was there...Talked about mother's day cards, last minute shopping.. she said she's buying for her sisters, they're mothers too. Eventually talked about where we're from. 8 minute convo there.

Got together with friends tonight. Had 2 convo's with new people. No one else opened, or ran the convo.. just me and the other person, so am counting these. First, a person who has an affiliation with my school, so discussed school stuff. Second, a man into triathalons.. so got into what triathalons are about. Both lasted 15 minutes or so each.

Thought this was tough, and still feel a little anxious about completing this. 8 convo's in the next few days with strangers is not my usual habit. But, just focusing on the next convo.. Can run to a coffee shop and make that happen in the next couple of hours if I wanted to.

THOSE OF YOU HESITATING.. just focus on the next convo. Open it.. don't try to "force" it to go to any length. Socializing is not done well by "force". Just have a couple of basic topics/questions to bring up, and practice being comfortable with the flow of the convo, feeding on whatever is brought up.

Tom

 

[Bourne]

Are people dropping like flies already? Come on guys. This is your life. Stop getting excited for the new thing to start and never going through with it. Either you start now, or it will never start.

 

[Migel]

It takes 21 days for breaking and establishing a new habit (that's what I've heard). So gentlemen, in 11 days we will be new men! ("We are the sum of our habits"!)

I did 3 conversations with "people that are payed to talk to you" today. It still needed some courage, I'm counting that as 1. Later I did 2 conversations with some old dudes. It's incredible how people are just waiting there for you to start a conversation!
So, my current count is 7/15 .

My notes on CONFIDENCE:
I see a lot of discussion about this issue on these forums. Here's what I realized today about confidence or lack of it. Lack of confidence is just an excuse for not making any progress. Is confidence a real thing? Was anybody ever hit in the head with a confidence? No, because it is a pure thought and no real obstacle. Lack of confidence is not an excuse. Today I caught myself doing this, I was thinking that I need to be confident to do something, to approach a person and start a conversation. No, the real reason for me not approaching is FEAR OF THE RESULTS of an interaction. And that can be anything: embarassment, pain, guilt, dates, commitments, blow-jobs. In order to eliminate that fear I need to detach from the outcome. You've probably heard this before, but try to understand it. To detach succesfully from the outcome DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING. Expecting something leads to NEEDINESS and neediness leads to FEAR OF LOSS. And that loss is something imaginary in the future, so it is illogical. How to not need anything? That's what I want to know, my guess would be inner piece... One question for you guys: what would you rather have 1. No fear of doing anything or knowing how to ignore it or 2. Have all the skills in the world but be paralyzed when thinking of applying them?

Open it.. don't try to "force" it to go to any length.

Tom, very true. Also thinking about the amazing things you are gonna talk about before you approach causes anxiety.


-------------

Here are some better conversation tips from Jugglers crew. I find it much better than the geeky stuff on this forum like "nouning":
http://www.charismaarts.com/blog/Chad/9
http://www.charismaarts.com/blog/Chad/10
http://www.charismaarts.com/blog/Chad/11

 

[SiL]

Quick-report:

Current Conversation Count: 2/15 I need to pick it up, but I'm going out tonight after work.

Anyway... onto the two conversation's.

Convo #1 -
Said "Hi" to a guy at the gym, it turns out we were on the same day (there is a personal trainer at the gym and there are 4 days of workouts which correspond with what you will be doing, such as day 1 is chest and tri's). So we ended up spotting for each other, and talking the whole time about work, kayaking, biking, girls, college, money, goals, etc.

Length: ~ 50 minutes


Convo #2 -
My mother had church friend's over (I should say that I dont know any of these people, and they are all twice my age). I ended up talking with one guy, Tom, who I found out has his own business (an oil company) and a single daughter who is 23 .

Length: ~10 minutes

Good job to everyone else thus far! Keep it up, we're well on our way

 

[Blue Dude]

Blue dude,
if you can complete both week's assignments by Sunday night - You're on! :rockon:

So chances are you're gonna find yourself another girl as the results of you going through the bootcamp
I am still seeing other girls AND going through the bootcamp.
It's not mutually exclusiv is, I never e.

However, it's the skill of being good with women we're learning here and generally becoming better men.
So you gotta ask yourself if that's something you want to learn vs. just getting a girl.

The thing is, I never wanted a girlfriend. That shait just happend. First girl I have no clue what happend, I just found my self in a relationship. The next girl came while I was testing shait from sosuave. And needless to say, shait worked better than I hoped. So, now, single again, I have learned a VERY VERY good lesson. If you are with a girl for longer than 2 months, belive me its a hell to get out of there. Therefor, as soon as 2 months of dating/fcking ticks away, dump the baby and continue with sosuave

Anyway, back to BC. I relized yesterday where I had hard time last summer doing BC. With hellos. Now, I am VERY social dude, but saying hi to strangers, damn, there is my wall. I work at a coffeteria and talk to people all day long. But thats easy, cuz its expected of me to talk to them. But when you are in town, and girl just walks next to you, it seems somewhat unnatural saying hello. I know its all me and shait is gonna change. Conversations are easy for me as I know how to talk, but talking contact. There I'm on the moon.

So count so far.
Wedensday
Eye contact's: > 100 (Second nature to me)
Hello's: 0/50
Conversation's: 0/15

Yea I know, I am way back, but I have still some time left and I WILL BE SAYING HELLO'S ALLREADY TONITE! TODAY I MEAN! NOW FFS!!!!

to the girl next to me: "hello there sugar! I need some candy. Can I sck ya titis?"

Na, just kiddin but as soon as I see a girl I AM ON!

 

[fitos]

Are people dropping like flies already? Come on guys. This is your life. Stop getting excited for the new thing to start and never going through with it. Either you start now, or it will never start.

Ok...
I'll edit this post to add my other convos.

It's been hell out here, there is a festival and I've been out until late for the past 5 nights. Yes, I make conversation, but again (like with week 1) I only want to count the sober ones.

#1
So, 16h I'm going to a parade, start saying Hi to people I pass by, some smile, other don't. As I pass by this girl, I say "Hi" I'm going faster than her, so I look back at her. She replies.
I continue, but then turn back, "So.. are you in town for the festival?"
She was nice, she's from brazil, taking a PhD in Managment. We talked for a bit 2-5 minutes.

#2
Lol, this just happened. I'm not in my best days, a bit tired and the place were I work is almost empty.
Anyway, was on the corredor by the cofee machine and a carpenter passes by, I say Hi to him, he hesistates, long EC, passes by me and says "Good afternoon". My reply "Good afternoon to you to.. so how's work going?" and so I proceeded to one of the most boring convos I recall with him showing me how their cleaning the wood floor, etc..
Still nice, and one more for the road. I think he was a bit drunk.
3-7 minutes

 

[poohead]

take me off probation oceanwindrider = i'm done w week 1

 

[thefonz]

Ok I think I'm getting a little better,

I've been shut down (or shut down myself) from quite a few convos but I"m starting to get used to it. I don't think it's that I"m trying to please the other person it's just I'm kinda being a little desperate to get as many of these convos flownig so I can get near 15 convos. I"m trying to make the talking last, not nessecerily trying to make others happy. If i could get them to fight with me for 5 minutes I would, thats a convo. Whatever, Since I'm good at initiating I'll just keep getting shut down

Convo#3- Talked to a girl before class about my major. This was a girl I've seen all semestor but never said anything to. I"m not really that into her otherwise I would have gone for a # close. SHe was diggin me. Humor is very powerful. Lasted over 30 minutes.

Convo#4 -Now I know I said I wasn't going to count employees but this one I'm counting cus not all employees HAVE to be friendly. I went to a guitar store to talk about percussion with one of the hippy dudes there and I basically sustained the entire convo for about 7-10 minutes so I'm counting that.

Convo#5 This one was rather short, about 30 seconds to 1 minute. But the point is that it was an elevator intiation that took me out of my comfort zone and I got the girl interested in me with a simple observational humor about a guy who got on the elevator to go up 1 floor. I could have kept that going well into 10 minutes but we had to get off and go in different directions. So I"m counting this too.

So now I stand at 5/15......I plan to do much better later this week. I'm seeing lots of improvement and I can say hi to any cutie that walks by me. I'm seeing the most improvements by basically staying positive.

 

[King Tuz]

1/15

This is actually two different convos. But, because they are both with people that I somewhat knew, I counted them as half a convo. Technically, they weren't strangers.

The first guy I talked to was in my math class. I talked to him for a little bit about what his dad does, heart murmurs, etc. However, I didn't feel like I had his complete attention. Thus, I just ended the convo. It was a short convo.

The second guy, I saw in the library. He was in one of the study rooms. I just went in and started talking to him. He is somewhat of a nerd/geek, whatever you want to call it, but he was pretty cool. He has this deep base for his voice, which is overtoned with a geeky surface sound. I just thought that that was pretty cool. I mean, how often do you see geeks/nerds with a nice deep resonant base for their voice? Anywho, we talked for about 30 minutes. This may sound a little gay, but I e-mail closed him. :crackup:

2/15

I had a dentist appointment. I talked to the girl that was working on my teeth. This was a stranger but I didn't cold approach her or anything. We talked about her and her job, etc.

I also tried to talk to another patient at the place. However, he was a little cold, so I ejected. I should've plowed through it anyway. O well...


Stay Positive Guys

&

Let's Finish BOOTCAMP!

 

[Thomas94305]

Socially inept

K guys.. a story today of what we'll face..

I was walking down a street to meet someone at a SBUX. It was about 3 PM, people walking around. In a friendly, nonthreatening voice, I said to a woman coming my way "Excuse me.. is the Starbucks this way or that way".. pointing up and then down the street. She kept walking.. didn't even flinch.. not even acknowledging another person was there. I thought if I did that to someone else, I'd think it was rude. There's such a thing as being shy.. but if you don't wanna help another human, what should I think of your character?

More of this to come in week 4..

 

[Genji]

Okay, I started this assignment late this week (too much to do at work again). So far I have two conversations.

Convo #1

Cashier chick at the supermarket. I talked to her about how her day was going. Short shift at work...relaxing for the rest of the day...plans for the night...blah blah blah.

Convo #2

Chick in my painting class. I talked to her about her painting. Technique...style...etc.

Okay guys. Keep up the good work! We've still got a long way to go, but I feel like I've come so far already! This bootcamp is awesome!

 

[Migel]

I was in a very social mood earlier today. My brain was certainly doing it's homework at night. I went to the swimming pool and was chatting everyone up. I even became the alpha man in one moment, with girls asking me questions and me vibing with them and their groups. Great stuff! These weren't proper conversations but I will count it as two:
So my count is: 9/15.

 

[OceanWindRider]

I can't edit the list on the beginning of page 2 anymore, so here's the update version:

Updated team (To be edited as more and more people complete the bootcamp):

Recruits who are in the week#2: :rockon:

1. FlippingFreak
2. Migel (a lot ECs, 50 Hi's)
3. JayCamx23 (50)
4. evil
5. thefonz
6. Thomas94305
7. SiL
8. Genji
9. Bourne
10. OceanWindRider
11. TheFlyingMan
12. DJNoobie420
13. Mission
14. DonJuanHopeful
15. Mr.****head
16. Julian
17. yoMaxPower
18. fitos
19. yrock181
20. Precision22
21. poohead
22. King_Tuz

Update:


Monday night is here. I have almost 0(none) PMs asking me to not to kick your sorry ass out of the bootcamp. I am not your mother and I am not going to write each and every one of you a nice note asking to stick around. In fact, I could motivate you further, but there are too many of you and I just don't have time for that.

You either have the balls to follow the rules and change your life or you don't!
Here's the list of losers and excusers who failed the bootcamp miserably and get the boot part: :trouble:

1. mr_elor
2. stubbornlights
3. johnmich
4. Lo5t
5. pro26
6. Kerm
7. theodoro
8. Aquatico
9. flows101
10. FOL!!!
11. Cafe_Noir
12. jackapedago
13. lifestyle
14. GinandTonic
15. fulllovepower
16. Varius
17. mountain
18. dreamX
19. jsmooth
20. Rob_xd
21. omyomar

You have to understand that it's YOU and only YOU who is responsible for your life and your learning how to get succeful with women. So if you start coming up with excuses - you won't achieve the results we all strive to achieve![/B]

Tentatively allowed to stay:

1. Bay area pimp
2. Don_KATRIN
3. Ever Onward
4. Vacaason (need 20 more Hi's this week)
5. MyWay
6. Don_juan_jr

[/QUOTE]

 

[fitos]

...
In a friendly, nonthreatening voice, I said to a woman coming my way "Excuse me.. is the Starbucks this way or that way".. pointing up and then down the street. She kept walking.. didn't even flinch.. not even acknowledging another person was there. I thought if I did that to someone else, I'd think it was rude. There's such a thing as being shy.. but if you don't wanna help another human, what should I think of your character?
...

I feel your pain, however, we can't take this personally. Have you ever been so in your thoughs you can't ear anything around you? Have you ever had someone calling you in the street or somewhere else, until they actually touch you and say "weren't you listening to me?" and you say "oh sorry, I was just thinking..".

You don't know what's on another persons mind, don't take it personal, they certenaly wont.

Also, there might be any big amount of other situations you cant guess, the death of a relative, the loss of a job, a fight with the better half, are all situations happening around you, and sometimes people just don't want to chat. It's not personal, their just not perfect.. you know, like you .

I've had people saying "But you were looking at me" and my reply was "But I wasn't seeing".

Good luck

 

[poohead]

damn flippinfreak nice work!

how do you do that in one hour? just walk into a grocery store and start talking to anybody in earshot?

 

[Bourne]

10/15

6/15: Walmart. Chatted a girl in battery isle. She didn't talk much so I had to carry the conversation. Which I did just fine.

7/15: Walmart. Stood next to iPods and chatted a cutie about iPods and what she thought of them and so on and etc about iPods and how much work will be missed because of the iPods movement.

8/15: Walmart. Chatted older lady next to iPods with me and the cutie from previous conversation. First it was all 3 of us talking then the cutie left and I chatted with the older lady.

9/15: Walmart. At the checkout lane I started a conversation about how much we all need batteries with the older lady. She was buying batteries so was I. Chatted with her till it was time to pay.

10/15: Starbucks. Waiting for a drink, I started a conversation about workers there and our drinks of choice with a mid-age lady waiting for her drink.

Overall, I have a sticking point. I have no problem with chatting up random people, when its girls I tend to freeze up a bit because I want to be indifferent but I think I show too much interest in them. Its this social stigma I had when growing up where I have to show respect and be asexual in my nature. What BS. Who cares if they know I'm interested or not. I need to overcome that.

 

[thefonz]

8/15

Convo#6- Talked to a lady at Hallmark about mother's day gifts'. I love old ladies, they are so willing to talk.

Convo#7- Started talking to some guy in his 30's in gym lockerroom before going in, asked him, "Hey is it busy in there." His intial response, "I'm sorry were you talking to me?" lol. I guess I need to pick up my voice. But carried that convo for a few minutes, went well. He seemed into the convo.

Convo#8- I already knew this guy but I want to count this cus it was good long one. I meet him one other time and we started talking about our major. We stopped and talked for like 10 minutes before he let me go, nice guy.

I also missed WAY too many opportunities today though, I went to a pizza party for my major and I was incredibly uncomfortable in there. I tried to intiate a couple of convos but got way too nervous cus I guess laboratory majors aren't very social and not a lot of people were talking. I felt like I would be drawing too much attention to myself if I kept trying to chat up all these people. I basically only conversed with about the 5 people I usually converse with, I'm a little disappointed I didn't take more action. I should have finished this week right then and there.

Also, had a chance to open girl in gym who was streching next to me. She seemed sort of bored and this was perfect opportunity blown. I guess I didn't bite cus I was still feeling defeated from the party experience. I kinda wish it was week 3 so I would have forced myself to say something. Live and learn.

On the positive I did try to start about 5 other convos today but they wouldn't take the bait. Still having problems sustaining talk, I hope this gets better with time.

 

[Julian]

Had 3 more convos today all lasting between 2-3 minutes. Its mostly jsut street convos in passing about whatever...observational, situational etc.

# 8 Saw a woman on the street being interviewed by a reporter, afetrward we were next to eachother at a crosswalk, i asked her what that was all about.

# 9 Asked a hb 7 about restaurants in an area, ended up talking for a couple minutes about misc crap.

# 10 talked to some bum about life. semi interesting. he was sort of deranged and reeked of ****e.