Yeah dont stop walden. this is exactly what a boot camp thread is supposed to be. it is a good thread. So heres the update on me:
I have been busy with law school so i havent strictly adhered to the boot-camp quotas, but i am very happy with my progress. practice-wise, I am focusing on improving conversation. starting and MAINTAINING convos. The start of my classes and all the new faces have been invaluable practice in the last week and making friends and making good convos.
I smile and say hi at many pretty girls i see walking, jogging, whatever. sometimes they ignore me, sometimes they break a wide smile and smile back. it makes no difference to me how they react, i still do it.
and i am becoming less inhibited in general. For example, Im not afraid to go off on a tangent and start telling someone an amusing story. Not afraid to joke or show more emotions. people like you more when you do this. and i went out to a club with some friends, and i actually danced ( i dont even know how to dance, but club dancing is not real dancing, so I did fine.) Now, i think this was important. I NEVER used to dance. But now i am more confident, easygoing, and i just let my body groove. its very symbolic of the mental changes i am undergoing. I can dance!
and now the best success of my week:
I COULD HAVE GOT LAID LAST NIGHT. By a HB7.5 (but 8.5 on my subjective scale). Heres the backstory:
it was a girl i met on campus. The funny thing is, SHE APPROACHED ME. I was only staring at her, and smiling and keeping eye contact as i often do. But i thought she had a boyfiend (the guy she was with) so i didnt approach. Well, it was a social setting, and soon they came over and talked with me a bit. I was just friendly and totally natural. i didnt try to impress her because i figured she was taken. So i was just laid back, being myself.
and then i find out the guy is NOT her BF. as we leave, i say, "what are you doing tomorrow, wanna hang out?" she says "sure." i was gonna get her #, but i didnt have a pen. so i gave her my # (she put it in her phone.) I figured she may never call me back...
But she does the next day. and I say, "wanna do soemthing?" she says "sure." We decide to go to blockbuster and rent a movie. I dont remember whose idea this was, but it was a school night so this was not a bad idea under the circumstances. And we watch Brotherhood of the wolf.
It was a cool flick, but i did something totally stupid: I DIDNT SIT NEXT TO HER! I just sat down on the lazy-boy chair by myself when i first came in, without thinking. Then, as she hit play, i realize "OH **** I SHOULD BE SITTING CLOSE TO HER!" But by this point, i felt like i couldnt move without it being totally obvious to her why i was doing it. so i sat in the chair the whole time. Total AFC mistake.
Lesson: I should have moved anyway and put my arm around her.
Anyway, as i leave after the movie, she gives me a kiss on the cheek, and in doing so, she makes all my AFC melt away. I think she did this on purpose, maybe she realized that I needed her to make the first move. This was the "GO" signal i needed. It made me realize, "this girl likes me and i dont need to pusssyfoot around."
I didnt try anything that night, but I call her again the next day, and ask if she wants to do something. [Note: the DJ advice of waiting a week to phone is total BS, at least in the college setting. COllege kids are social, and they want to hang out. If i waited a week to call her, she would not only forget me, she would meet other peole and hang out with them instead. She and I have been phoning eachother every day for the last 4 days and hung out 3 of those days. and i think she likes it.]
ANyway, during this phone convo, I learned that THE GUY MUST HAVE THE PLAN. Because i was like "what do you wanna do?" and she was like, "i dunno, whatever." girls are so indecisive. the man has to take charge: dont seem indecisive. So i do some quick bat-thinking, and I say, "lets go clubbin" (this is a college town.)
So we go out clubbin at some places where i knew other law students hang out. this is where i was letting my body groove, and i think she liked it that I was not some uptight dork. even though i obviously wasnt the coolest guy there, i was comfortable with myself. i think she liked that. She actually paid her own cover and bought her own beers, which made me glad that she's not a golddigger, but im also worried she might think im cheap, so ill have to pay for her next time. anyway...
we dance, have drinks, talk. And I in no way want to make it seem like i am some master-conversationalist by now. There were several akward pauses, both on the phone and in person. ANd i really have no way to deal with them. I guess it helps to have some questions on hand, like "so you got any family?" jsut to break the silence.
But we had already covered the basics and thensome, so i didnt wanna spurt out a simple question that i already asked. (i have that problem alot, you ask a common question that you already asked.) So i just make sure not to let the akward silences bother me, and wait till some thought comes, or some event, or she says something. and i have to keep reminding myself, ASK OPEN- ENDED QUESTIONS. Let her carry her share of the conversation.
Anyway, we walk around downtown at night, make fun of some homeless jewelry vender. then i keep doing CF by making fun of her cigarette smoking habit. (actually i think i overdid the taunting about her bad habit, but oh well.) Then we make fun of the foreign convenience store clerk, and we meet some of her friends while walking. I am nice and smile at her freinds, and i am also nice to everyone we meet. I think she liked that i am friendly to people even if i dont know them.
anyway, we go back to her place and i pull the "can i come in and use your bathroom?" move.
In retrospect, this was lame. I should have just done your tactic and assumed the sale: just follow her in. It would have worked, and i wasnt trying to sleep with her anyway.
We are both tired and I sit down on the couch. ( I have made a mental note by this point NEVER to sit in the lazy-boy again. Ever.) And i ask her if her neck is still sore. (earlier she said it was.) And i offer to give her a massage.
I totally stole this move from Xblitz's post, where he massages his girl and kisses her and stuff. But i wasnt planning on seducing her, i swear. I just wanted to get a little more physical. And i cant tell you whether i was smooth or akward, but i think I was OK. Actually I dont even know how to give good massages. but did that stop me? HELL NO! I managed quite well.
I was totally in control. Its cool how when a girl likes you, she will let you get away with alot. I think i kissed her shoulder first, and she turned around and kissed me, then we were making out ALOT. I did some CF pretending she had cigarette breath. (she didnt really). She got all alarmed like her breath smelled, but then i was like, "just kidding!" and i gave her a big deep kiss.
And we roll around on the couch, carressing and foreplay. it was NICE. Im actually very inexperienced (virgin) and not even good at kissing, but i doubt she could tell because i wasnt thinking. I said "JUST DO IT," thats my motto. If you just kiss her, you cant possibly screw it up, even if youve never done it.
And she is sort of dry humping me cause i told her i dont have a condom. I pull her shirt off, and i am like totally THE MAN here. I am like tellling her, "take down your, i wanna run my fingers through that beautiful hair." And i do. We are both really into the foreplay. Even from my limited knowledge of women, i think she was getting really hot. I took off her shirt... im pretty sure i could have taken off the pants, if i had a condom. And she was breathing heavily at several points.
One thing i did to really get to her was breathe down her neck and back. women (apparently) love to feel a guys hot, sexy moist breath down their neck. and i would kiss it and then do a little playful nibble. and playfully scratch her with my fingernails. Bear in mind, im making most of these moves up as i go along. Getting feedback from her body. But i did a good job: A GOOD DJ IMPORVISES.
anyway, after a while i say "i better go" or whatever. we kiss, then i leave, then i sneak in one more kiss.
i could have gone over to her house today: she actually delayed going out of town by one day so that she could see me again. But my apartment's toilet line ruptured and sewer water got all over my hallway. my roomates and i spent hours cleaning it up, and i was so stressed i told her i couldnt hang out today. But on the phone, i could tell she really wanted to see me. Oh well, ill see her next week after she gets back.
one small point: i agree with MOTU and Blitzes latest philosophies that as long as you be yourself, you will get SOME girls. there is no secret pickup line or manipulation. just be open and freindly and playful and express interest, and eventually youll find a girl who finds YOU attractive in return. some wont, some will. I can tell that this girl finds me hot, which is cool since ive never considered myself as hot. Anyway, im happy.
It is clear that this board has changed my life totally. All i had to do was start talking and not be afraid of society or rejection or whatever.
Confidence.