Bomb Scare, SoSauve and an Airplane. A story you must read.

beatjunkie

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To all,

Airplane story: I was just in Kenya this past week for a meeting. My x who I implemented NC on 40 days ago (she broke with me)... Well luck has it that last night she got a booking on the same flight and seat next to me on the return back to Djibouti. She saw me and asked the guy behind me to sit next to him instead. After take off, I used the reflection of the airplane windows and told her to come and sit with me (her assigned chair). We had an amicable chat and smiles and all then we played truth or dare. I found out the following;

1) She got engaged (3 months after our breakup) to a Somali (ex refugee) guy in Kenya whose family owns a shisha/hookah joint and he works there and lives with his family. She said he gets pulled over all the time and asked for ID. I convinced her its Secret Service Police following him. Then I raised some other insecurities.

2) She told asked the boss here at our office in Djibouti to relocate to Kenya and he sort of agreed informally. She said she will talk to him in depth this week to confirm. She is getting married in July and wants to move there, already found an apartment. I asked what happens if he says no? She said she doesn't know.

3) She said she is scared about getting married and moving to Kenya because of security scares. I played on that a bit more and said yea Kenya is going to become more of a police state.

4) She asked if I found a gf. I said no because I am focusing on improving myself first. She said "I hope you will and I know so because you are smart and good looking."

5) She is scared of flying and on take off and landing she held my hands and rubbed with her fingers. Same hand she has her engagement ring on.

6) Before landing I asked if we can be friends and chill because Djibouti is a boring country. She said she wants to but because he is a control freak she has to ask him first. I said no problem, I don't want to do anything to mess up your marriage.

7) Upon landing the office driver dropped her off at her place and before she got off she gave me a hug. She said well let me know (about hanging out). I reversed and said no you let me know, you are the one engaged.

8) There was more, but basically its a mix of DJ arrogance techniques, AFC tactics (explaining my role in breakup and blaming a former friend of hers for a few of our fights and Kino).

That was last night

Bomb Scare: I live and work in Djibouti. After the breakup I hit the gym hard and made a set routine. After the gym, I pick up dinner daily from a restaurant close to my place. I was scheduled to return yesterday but on Friday I wanted to change my ticket and return the same day the meeting ended. Then I remembered my DJ principles and decided to take a break and go shopping instead so left the original return date as is. If you follow the news, there was a grenade attack in a restaurant in Djibouti on Saturday night. Had I changed my ticket I would have been there for sure. This was the catalyst in asking her to sit next to me in the story above. The advice I received here to step my game up (clothing wise in this case) saved my life. Thank you SS!,

Gentlemen (and ladies) I expect her to call me today. Please note that I am happy I talked to her and to know she settled for someone less in status and rank than me. I am also happy we talked because my conscience is clear now. When/if she calls (depending on her Fiancé's approval- how 13 century is that by the way?) I plan to play the friendship card and instill more insecurities in her. I want this marriage to fail because of what she did to me. I will use the 48 Laws of Power and Art of War to mentally overide this b!tch into oblivion. If she doesn't call then I am fine because of my clear conscience and increased sense of self-worth.

Comments please.
 

beatjunkie

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ps. wow at my luck (good and bad).

pss. sorry about grammar and spelling mistakes. big fingers, touch screen and jitterness.
 

beatjunkie

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bro now i am. this morning i woke up happy. first time since NC. read between the lines, yea i could've stayed nc but that bomb scare reminded me that i do not want to be remembered as the ahole who never replied to a "how are u?" text and then died. try and understand my mindset on this brah.
 

VikingKing

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Well, no offense but now it sounds like you rationalizing. Who cares if she thinks your an a$$hole, honestly that might not be a bad thing.
 

beatjunkie

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yea i am rationalizing but this is a golden opportunity that i have now to hurt her more than she did me. bro she hurt me bad, and then goes off and gets married? fvck nc and fvck courtesy. fck moving on because most of us will never do so if u went through what i did. i have been give a golden goose here to put a peg in her marriage and destroy her completely. do you see it? and if she never calls then i will FOREVER BE GOOD because wtf is a somali refugee to a 26 year old globe trotting, trilingual, management level diplomat? hahah just saying makes me feel like a million bucks. had i stayed nc i wouldve forver been thinking she left me for someone better. now i know she did it because she marriage hungry!! get it? NC is awesome in self improvement but breaking it (almost because i was forced to) has allowed me to increase my own self value.
 

Cerwin Vega

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Dude...let it go. Honestly, I know I can make my ex cheat on her perfect new boyfriend with me but what are my benefits from this? It will just stir up my feelings for her and in the long term cause me a lot more harm than good.

You're not over her.
Wanna **** with her brain? Go ghost
How can he disappear after such a nice meeting? Am I doing the right thing? Maybe I missed on a big opportunity?
 

beatjunkie

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damn i guess you are all right. just thought i had a golden opportunity here. for the record i did not come off afc when i asked her to hang out, just said it was nice talking to u, we should talk more. coulda woulda shoulda but what happened did. ball is out of my court now, and honestly i didn't want it to be. she can have all the power plays she wants. the most important thing is my conscience is clear, i am better off and she knows that.
 

compleks

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I don't know the back story here.
Bloody good luck not getting blown up.

But, don't waste your time with revenge. If she's no good for you then you need to move on. Holding a grudge will do you no good at all. Revenge is petty.

Better yourself. Live your own life and don't worry about hers.
All this Alpha, DJ stuff gets misinterpreted all too often.
 

beatjunkie

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Thanks conpleks.

For the record guys I don't at all regret the following;

1) Most of all I no regrets about breaking NC i know now that she will leave the country soon and i can focus on my work. it was hard to so when i didnt know if she was around or not.
2) I know she settled for less, she knows it and she knows i know it
3) My conscience is clear. I cant stand negativity and being the one who implemented NC was hard on me. Major puss talk here but honestly i can deal with ppl not wanting to talk to me, not vice versa.
4) I have no regrets about not lying to her about my relationship status, getting a gf is not a priority. I saw a look in her face when she hear that that makes me sure I did the right thing saying that.
5) The insecurities i put in her will have her thinking hard about this marriage.

I will not try to break up the marriage and I will not try to get back (honestly don't want her. honestlyyy). I will continue my routine and if someone better comes along then so be it, and if not then so be it (told her this too).
 

Colette

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Don't waste your time by thinking about revenge. Revenge is exhausting and can drain you mentally.
I know you are angry , use your anger and put in your work or whatever you do to be the most successful guy you can be.
She is not worse it and I think her life is boring .
Getting married in 3 months and live happily ever after is a fantasy and she will know it soon enough.
Best of luck to her though but you don't have time to waste about her life , you have your own to live. So, focus on yourself.
 

beatjunkie

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Colette said:
Don't waste your time by thinking about revenge. Revenge is exhausting and can drain you mentally.
I know you are angry , use your anger and put in your work or whatever you do to be the most successful guy you can be.
She is not worse it and I think her life is boring .
Getting married in 3 months and live happily ever after is a fantasy and she will know it soon enough.
Best of luck to her though but you don't have time to waste about her life , you have your own to live. So, focus on yourself.
Thank you Colette. A females perspective on this helps. deep down i know she knows she is rushing into this. i feel sad for her actually. hope you read the whole story above. honestly i have found peace today because i spoke on truth on the airplane and i know my value as a person. i am not longer thinking of no contact, i am thinking of moving on. so here is Moving On Day 1!!!!
 

VikingKing

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It's never to late to go no contact. Brad is right, she probably was seeing him before you guys broke up.

My ex took a few months to start seeing some one. That's how you can tell if she monkey branched or not.

If she's not a cheater/ monkey brancher, it should take her a while to find a new "serious" boyfriend.

It's better to let go asap man. If you can't let go due to the lack of finding a new girl, its really a good idea to not try and see what she is up to, you will end up making things worse.

It was hard for me after my last break up, but i doubt it will ever be that bad again for me, not even close. I know how to cope now.

You may not feel this way now, but man your life can turn around pretty quick if you jump on the right opportunities when you see them.

This is why its preached here to simple go ghost. The hardest part is a woman might not care you go ghost, at all. You do it for yourself.
 

Mr. Kalikoat

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Beatjunkie it does sound like your rationalization hamster is spinning overtime, but that said; I can't say that I wouldn't have done the same as you. Especially because your ex had a seat right next to you. It would be just too awkward to just sit there and not say anything, even though she switched seats at first.

You say you feel better now and that's all that counts. However I do advice to return back to NC. Don't go playing games with this girl dude, you'll only be setting yourself up for a lot of hurt and it's not worth it. Focus your attention elsewhere, this b!tch is not worth it.
 

beatjunkie

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@nooblgy and @Mr. Kalikoat

thanks for your replies. u r right a return to NC is needed but actually its not gonna be NC anymore. its moving on and doing things to move on. i ambso relieved she is leaving the country and hope she does so soonest.

saw her at the staircase and work today. said hi and she said u look like u lost weight..was a bit chubby before. gym helps. feeling low now but not because of her but mainly because i am lonely.
 

beatjunkie

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thanks mauser.

i think finding out what i did really put things in perspective. this girl is a time bomb walking. glad she dumped me and found a husband who can deal with this type of thing. i will certainly let things run their course. i pray she leaves the country. no more uncomfortable encounters at work will be welcomed
 
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