Blog/ help needed

[Adz--]

Updates, Changes, getting wiser and eyes are becoming opened
Iv been texting this girl who's one of my friends to get my C+F responses up to scratch along with my texting game, confidence and making we laugh. Coincidently it's the same girl who I kissed that had BF..

Anyway, we are having banter and saying sh*t that AFC's and whipped couple would say I.e "awh baby I miss you so much bla bla bla"
Never in my life have I ever felt so sick to the point where I was feeling like I was going to throw up.
I can't believe at one point I used to say crap like that.
I had to tell her "we need to stop this crap I'm feeling sick"

It was a shock to me at first that I said all this fluffy, pathetic, BS before. Man do I see the error I my ways. AFC is what I was. Bleugh even the thought of it makes me feel sick!

Also iv changed up on my appearance in regard to how I dress, shave, style my hair, attitude and how I talk to women.
I wear clothes that I used to save for slightly dressed up days to my normal look now along with necklaces like dogtags, rosemary bead necklace or a chain (not all the same time)
I wear a watch daily now and some rosemary bracelets or a leather bracelet.
Iv changed my hair style to a more up to date look.
I need to get some new high top trainers, boots, smart shoes and some daily trainers to throw into the mix which will help a lot.
Also keeping a simple well trimmed beard/ stubble or sometimes just a simple moustache that comes down into a goatee. That I finds really suits me.

When I did all these changes I noticed I was a lot more confident in my step as I walked almost like a swag in my step, I received numerous compliments for my look and also noticed women around me taking a lot more interest with me.

Also I found that my confidence is growing back and becoming stronger then it used to be along with C+F responses.
I also found myself talking to complete strangers now within a friends circle with positive feedback from them.
Another thing I have found is that women are starting conversation with me too.

All of these changes are great and I only now I can see how far I am progressing compared to where I was 5 months ago in depression and a toxic relationship.

Now I am reading books again with the will and the want of reading not the feeling like it is a chore. This alone has opened up my vocabulary more. Also at work instead of looking through my phone and browsing the web when I have nothing to do I read, by doing that I finished a 360 page book that took me near enough a year to get less then half way through.

I am extremely happy with my progression so far but this is only the start, I can't wait for more!

Thank you SoSuave, all the members on board, all the members who responded to my questions and slapped me back to reality when I needed it, all the content I have read and the DJ bible itself, my friends, family and the support network that has been by my side.

Onwards and upwards!

Change is like planting a seed, it has to be watered, maintained, looked after and made sure that it has nutrients in order for it to grow.

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[j.619]

Well done on upgrading your appearance. Such a small thing does loads for the confidence.

 

[Adz--]

Well done on upgrading your appearance. Such a small thing does loads for the confidence.

Thank you!

Rant about the past

Right so situations from my past come up in my head and I get angry at myself for acting like a beta AFC and doing stupid things. It's extramly frustrating.
It's like I can see what's happening and I'm screaming to my self stop being a AFC!

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[Adz--]

number close, kiss close or **** close or all 3?
So I went out last night for my one of my close friends girls birthday party. Lon story short there was a HB7 at the party, we talked, kinoed, C+F, drank, grinded, got her number, danced some more kissed, then I was dropping her off home, but she didn't want to go home, so I found a nice quiet area parked up talked a bit, kinoed escalated, kissed and then ****ed then dropped her home.

This was my first ever successful "pull"/ acquiring a plate from a night out. Thanks to this forum for helping me work on my self and realising the errors of my ways.

I haven't texted her yet, I'll wait 2/3 days till I do.
Things are different to what I have read but 80% off the content is still apply able.

However this has helped me a lot in regards to my ex but the beta AFC in me is still missing bits of her..

although I got a number close and etc, I don't feel as content as I was with my ex. But who knows still early days.

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[Adz--]

problem

I have a issue that I hope somone can shed some light upon, after the events of last night which I mentioned above.
I'm finding that I'm still having feelings over my ex. There are still slight feelings that I have towards her that play on my mind.

Which in tern make my mood lower..
Now why is this happening?
Is it because I am still plugged in and haven't allowed my self to fully unplug?
Is it the beta, AFC old me which I'm currently killing that Is trying to drag me back to hell?
Am I over thinking?
Do I still have a place for my ex in my heart?

Explanations to this will be mighty appreciated.

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[Adz--]

major updates, experiences, learning and antics!

Woahh it's been hella of longtime since I updated this. So here goes!

First of all iv sorted out most of the negative influences in my life and I'm starting to focus on only the positives and dropping negative people and things.
On another note iv started gym again for about a month or so and I'm seeing decent gains!
Got my ear pierced, new hair cut, new clothes essentially a whole new look!

Also I'm starting to approach women a lot more and talk to them. Also banged 2 more girls! And had an old ex pop up and start talking to me.

Iv also found out how unfaithful the women around my age are, so far it haven't found any faithful women except for 1 of the girls I'm talking to but even then I'm still sceptical. Also it doesn't help that I'm starting fall for her.. So I'm pulling back.

I also just came back from holiday from Portugal and that was a whole experience in itself! Learning so much about approaching women over there.

However there are still time where I think if my recent ex, but that will go in time.

Also iv read the rational male by Rollo Tomassi, what a book that is.. It's a must read for all newbies. It certainly opened eyes up a lot more.
Now I'm on the 48 powers by Robert Greene.

I'll update this in more detail later on!

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[TheSlasher]

Iv also found out how unfaithful the women around my age are

Mmhm. Just try to look the other way sometimes.

 

[j.619]

Young women our age (18-29) tend to have unlimited attention and options, so they have relationship ADD. They'll stick around if you establish dominant frame early and often, but do get bored and jump ship because of how easy it is to d*ck hop nowadays. Orbiters and social media are to blame mostly.

Congrats on the recent f*ck closes. Success breeds success... meaning success helps your confidence and confidence brings more success. Keep up the good work, brotha.

 

[Adz--]

Mmhm. Just try to look the other way sometimes.

When see it from a point of view when it's not myself hooking up with these girls I think how naive their "boy friends" are and it makes me think there isn't anyone worth my time, but on the other hand they're easy targets. But hey hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil I geuss.

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[Adz--]

Young women our age (18-29) tend to have unlimited attention and options, so they have relationship ADD. They'll stick around if you establish dominant frame early and often, but do get bored and jump ship because of how easy it is to d*ck hop nowadays. Orbiters and social media are to blame mostly.

Congrats on the recent f*ck closes. Success breeds success... meaning success helps your confidence and confidence brings more success. Keep up the good work, brotha.

Exactly, personally I find my self holding back my "feelings" you could say, and the amount I want to love a women because I know it's not going to last.

Thanks man, it's mighty appreciated!

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[Bizzle13]

Nice development thread friend. And good to see more Brits on here I noticed you mentioned Brum, I'm not far from there myself. Reading this reminded of what I went through, you've walked a very similar path to me and it doesn't take long for you to realise self-improvement comes first. This lifestyle isn't primarily about women, they're just a biproduct. Good luck man

 

[Adz--]

More detailed update like promised!
Right, so after a while of not updating this, iv been putting what iv read into practice, what i found that 70-90% of it works depending on the situation, also iv learnt that what i have read is not a strict guideline to follow it should flow even if there are points that dip or points that soar. It is essinatily just having a laugh. Iv been blown off by a load of women and i laughed and smiled in their faces and they're just standing there confused haha.
It's better to rejected then sit there and regret!

Fellas remember women don't bite! (unless in the bedroom or they're into some kinky Sh*t )
Women dare i say it like being talked to, in fact hell to what they like!, it builds your own god damn confidence!
You learn how to laugh again, learn how to smile again!
Carry your self like a prize! (Words of Pook!)
Life is to short to be over thinking, over analyzing, thinking about life, women and other Bull sh*t.
F*ck the negative and focus on the Positive!
Be happy!

 

[Adz--]

Nice development thread friend. And good to see more Brits on here I noticed you mentioned Brum, I'm not far from there myself. Reading this reminded of what I went through, you've walked a very similar path to me and it doesn't take long for you to realise self-improvement comes first. This lifestyle isn't primarily about women, they're just a biproduct. Good luck man

Thanks there bud! yeah i know there's not many brits on here. ah okay how far from brum? ah okay that's intresting, yes i've come to realise that myself comes before others. Oh yes i agree with you there, i see it as women are just to compliment life or like you said are a bi-product and not the main focus. Thanks man! :rockon:

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[Adz--]

update

So since I've come back from holiday things have been hectic. I dropped everything and focused on my education for 2weeks. Now I've finished college and I'm on break till august/ September.

What I've found since I have finished is that:
-my ex creeps into my thoughts
-miss my ex
-motivation is low
-depressive thoughts are trying to creep back in
-don't feel as content as before
-feel stagnant
- my frame is failing

Now this is just from finishing college and it's only been 3 day's.
I feel like I have taken a step back and I'm lost as to what to do.

Since I have time now I feel like doing nothing and sit, sleep, sh*t and eat. I'm finding that i have to force myself to do things.

However I did pick up one of my plates yesterday and watched the sunrise. And then f*ckd her..

A little side tracking: i felt at times when dating women or f*cking them that my "heart" / "feelings" feel like it's being torn apart inside as I won't be able to love these women as if I get to emotionally attached it will hurt or f*uck up when it ends. Anyone get this feeling?

Now I'm finding difficulty as what to do with this free time as this time last year is when i got placed onto anti- depressants. I will not to go back to that stage. I refuse to.

What makes this even more Interesting is that a religious month is coming up for me which involves fasting from sunrise to sunset everyday. In this month there is no drinking alcohol, smoking drugs, partying etc etc, you catch my drift right.
And for another twist in this my family want to go on vacation in the next few weeks.

So this leaves me with some choices.

No.1
-fast In religious month and laze around/ work on hobbies until vacation.
This I am not keen on at all. I feel this will send me straight back to the stage in my life where i struggled.

No.2
-don't fast and job hunt/ gym/ hobbies until vacation.
This I would prefer as I will be keeping myself busy, and won't feel stagnant.

No.3
-don't fast, job hunt, gym, hobbies and no vacation with family.
This I would prefer as the best ideal option as I don't want to go on vacation with my family as i already had my plans set out an this vacation thing was kind of dropped on me.
I'd rather work hard for a job get some cash together, buy some clothes, go out, have fun, work on my hobbies, max it out In the gym, then save up some cash and go on holiday with a few friends and party where ever we go.

basically treat myself as over this past year a lot has happened and I feel that that's what I want.

I feel I still need to think this through in the morning.

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[TheSlasher]

Congrats on finishing college. What course did you take?

 

[Adz--]

Congrats on finishing college. What course did you take?

Thank you! It's a science course, I have to go back next academic year though to finish the qualification off

 

[Adz--]

update/ revelations and maybe some growing up

I've been busy lately just getting on with my life. I've picked my saxophone again after 5 years of not practising it! Man am I rusty haha. But I remember now why I started in the first place! It's coming back slowly but with more practise I'll get better.

At the moment I'm reading the 48 powers by Robert Greene, It's a interesting book, however I'm taking it with a pinch I salt. I don't agree with everything on in it but I can see what the purpose of the book is and where the author is coming from. It's a fairly decent eye opener in point of view.

Another point also, I feel like I have either taken a step back or have moved a step forward as spinning plates is no longer a main thing in my mind, for example if a plate comes by I'm not really that bothered by it, I may spin it for a bit but then I get bored, does this happen to anyone else or am
I the only one?

My other hobby is working on cars but my car is in the shop at the moment getting some work done to it so that's on hold right now.

I'm back in the gym again as when I got back from holiday I had lot of course work to do so I had a 3 week gap. It feels great to be back in the gym now. I'm going once day. Doing pure cardio so I can lose this belly fat.

Last night was one of my friends birthday, so I went out with them. It was an interesting night. The birthday girl used to be best friends with my ex (we know the ex had to pop up in this update haha). But she hates her now and doesn't talk to her. So when I saw her she wanted to tell me something about her.
Now why she wanted to tell me, she said because I have a right I know especially as how long we date for.
So I was like okay.
Long story short my ex is in another relationship with some guy she met at university.
Good for her, I couldn't care any less. But it does show me that she is insecure and cannot be alone.
The birthday girl knows this as her mum and my ex's aunty are friends.

Later on in the night we all went out to a bar/club and the amount of orbiters/AFC's and bets guys that were out was unreal!
It didn't help that there were 80% guys and 20% women.
Immediately I knew that there was a slim chance to get any women so I didn't even bother and just enjoyed my night.. At least that's what I hoped for.
Long story short the birthday girls ex boyfriend was there and she started saying to me how she misses him etc etc but she's with a new guy now who is a complete AFC.
(Me and the birthday girl are quite close as friends)
Through out the night she's screaming and shouting at her boyfriend saying she hates him etc etc. she didn't even want to be with him tbh and they have only been dating for 2 months!

Now most of the nights I have been out I have found that nearly all the Indian/ Asian girls so stuck up their own arse it's unreal. Either that or talking to people is something that they never do. Girls who are 5/6 at best out of 10 act like they're 8/9's.
This just makes me laugh. Especially in my city where the ethnic minority are Asian/ Indian/ African. Being one my self, it just makes me think that the majority of guys have put all these girls on a pedal stool so high that when they get knocked down it doesn't matter because they know another beta/ orbiter will place them back on it even higher. Either that or my frame/ game is weak.
But this doesn't bother me as like I mentioned before plate spinning isn't at the forefront of my mind.

I've found myself at the stage where I am comfortable and happy being by myself but that doesn't say that if a women who catches my eye goes by without a try!
I don't need a women to be happy, I don't need a relationship to be happy.
But most people do!? Why? I don't understand that!

Any ways that's all I can think of at the moment I'm sure I've missed a few bits out but I'll update!

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[Adz--]

Questions and updates

It's been a while since I last came on this site! The update looks great!

I'v been trying to keep myself busy over the last few months. Iv been job hunting and worked as a bartender for 2weeks but it wasn't for me although it did have it's perks! Got slapped on the butt by a few girls! Lol. But what i found is that being drunk is great but serving drinks to drunks is a nightmare!

So I decided to try care work, look after the old and frail, but this too is not for me and I'm getting underpaid to do it.

So the job hunt goes on!

Plates wise, I haven't spun many plates, nor have I got any new plates.. But I had one main plate that I was f*cking a lot but she started to want things that I couldn't provide I.e. She started to want a relationship but I prefer being single. She would try and make me jealous and the usual sh*t tests. I just brushed them off.
So now she has become a bit distant. I think I should have talk with her tell her that I don't want a relationship instead of leading her on. What do you guys think?
As at the start of it we both stated that we didn't want a relationship. But things have changed on her side.

main question
This is a scenario where I would like a little guidance on.
Iv known this girl for years now but I wasn't in the friend zone. So I wen to go see her today. She's managed to injure herself and she is off work for a few days.
So I go to her place, kino, light banter, then she gets a pillow and places it on my chest and puts her head on it.
At this point I'm thinking okay, she must be a) tired or b) has a positive feed back on the kino.
Then we get talking and we get on to "thigh gap" and she shows me a picture of her thighs from the front.
So me at this point, (yes I know foolish of my self) say yeah you nice thighs bla bla bla.
About 10mina later convo doesn't move forward and I'm tired. So I say I'm leaving, so she looks long into my eyes and I end up kissing her. Then she starts shaking like she's got hyperthermia. ( what's that about? That's the first time iv experienced/ seen a girl do that)

Then we kiss some more and obvious foreplay on her.
Just as I'm about to finger her, she says "I wouldn't do that if I were you, I'm on my period", so I'm like I'm not risking that. So I stop, then she become silent and doesn't say much. And doesn't give me a solid answer to any questions I ask ( i f*cked up here, complete AFC move to do)

So she just holds me close and and hugs me tight. But I know she wants more. At this point I'm confused as anything. I decide to leave as i have to b up early tomorrow. ( N.B. she doesn't want to sleep alone but refused to come back to my place)

Now what the hell was all that about? I know she wants me but there's something not quite right, I can feel something is right. Can anyone shed any light on this?

More updates to come soon!

Live, laugh, love

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[TheSlasher]

Damn, even I got confused about that. Just let her be I guess.

 

[Adz--]

Updates

Here are some updates as promised!

So far all most of my plates have either fallen off or are not interested anymore. To be honest this doesn't bother me as I have far more Important things to focus on.

Since I started working I stopped going to the gym, and my healthy eating is out of the window lol, so that needs to get back on track again.
Also need to save up some funds as my car broke down on me, and get my project car back on track.

My results from college this year were not too great either so I'll need to retake that year.
Another thing is I haven't bought any damn new clothes.. I really need to update my wardrobe and get rid off all my old stuff.

Socially I have found that I need to find some new people in my circle as at the moment it feels stagnant and repetitive. But this will happen once I go back I college.

After this whole work jumping thing, I feel completely drained and it shows up in my mood. I don't feel as positive as I used to, but not as bad as I have been though.

Last weekend I went out with a few of my friends. Town was completely packed out with people, like queues where stupid long for some places. So me and my mate hit up a bar and it was completely crowded. But the vibe wasn't there.
We have a couple of drinks and head to the smoking section.
Immediately as we walk in I feel out of place for some reason. Anyways while having my cigarette, I see a couple of these Guys being complete and utter d*ckheads, the type that are loud, got muscles and tattoos an talking a lot of sh*t jumping on tables and that.
But what caught my attention is the way they approached a bunch of girls. They approached and made then laughed and kino'ed them and it worked.

Now me and my mates hit up a club and the same thing, it's a c*ckfest and the vibe is crap. It was so bad that no matter how much I drank I couldn't even dance and just wanted to go home.
End result I end up going home early.

I think I need to read the bible and the rational male again.
I don't feel 100% in my self like I used to. I can see my confidence has dropped too.

Iv read the 48 powers by Robert Greene which Is an interesting book but it's not one that I completely agree with..

There's still a lot that I have missed out, I'll update as I remember.

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