Birthday wish after months of NC

[cityboy989]

No, man. Common, @Trump , do not entertain that idea to him. He is looking for hope here and there is no hope. This spells disaster if he responds back. He's an emotional mess, still has not gotten over this girl.

I think you're jumping to drastic conclusions. I never said anything about being extremely hung up on her or anything of the sort as you're insinuating. You're assuming I'm putting all my eggs in this basket of her wishing me happy birthday. Whether she wished me or not, it probably doesn't mean much as to whether she'd reach out in the future. At the very least she's acknowledging my existence and wishing me well after months of not speaking. I have friends who have gotten back with girls after 1 or 2 years of NC. Not saying I'm harping on that, but it's not impossible as your doom and gloom post insinuates lol. I was simply asking why would she bother making any contact and just leave me be if that's what she wanted.

 

[cityboy989]

OK bro let's say you are right. After months of NC she says Happy BIrthday on a Facebook wall and wants you back in her life.

What are you going to say to her?

I'm not saying anything to her unless she contacts me directly

 

[cityboy989]

You're casual friends, which is what I'm saying. How many people wished you a happy birthday that you don't even talk to anymore? Probably a lot, it means hardly anything.

Look, this is your ego talking. It's trying to convince you that she had a sudden moment of clarity and suddenly realized, "omg I was wrong to push cityboy away, I actually AM attracted to him!!" But that's not how girls work.

She's not on the Cosmopolitan forums starting threads on "How do I get him back?" and all her girlfriends tell her to write Happy Birthday on your Facebook.

In reality, she's probably wondering why you haven't reached out to her yet, because she figured you'd be on her doorstep with a dozen roses already. Don't do anything. If she initiates any contact over the phone, immediately tell her to come over, and if she declines, go back to ignoring her.

I know what you're saying about being casual friends, but in my mind she kinda burned the "friendship" at the time we stopped speaking. We aren't 2 friends who just drifted apart, she basically had put an end to our "relationship" with eachother. At least that's how it comes across to me.

 

[usernamedox11]

If she wanted in your pants then she would have texted you "Happy Birthday, I'm coming over with a bottle of wine and making you dinner!"

But she didn't, she did what casual friends do and wished you a happy birthday over Facebook.

Just ignore it. She wants to know she still has you.

This is terrible fvcking advice. So much advice given is about protecting ego. You need to put your neck on the line. He should reply and say "Thanks" and ask her if she'd like to hang out again. If she doesn't or on the date he realizes it's a friend zone type a thing, he can just ignore her afterwards.

 

[AlphaNate]

This is terrible fvcking advice. So much advice given is about protecting ego. You need to put your neck on the line. He should reply and say "Thanks" and ask her if she'd like to hang out again. If she doesn't or on the date he realizes it's a friend zone type a thing, he can just ignore her afterwards.

This is terrible f*cking advice. No one here cares about OP's ego. We're advising on how to protect his frame. Frame is everything.

Tell me, in detail, what OP stands to gain from validating this chick.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

This is terrible fvcking advice. So much advice given is about protecting ego. You need to put your neck on the line. He should reply and say "Thanks" and ask her if she'd like to hang out again. If she doesn't or on the date he realizes it's a friend zone type a thing, he can just ignore her afterwards.

Lol speaking of terrible fvcking advice....

 

[usernamedox11]

This is terrible f*cking advice. No one here cares about OP's ego. We're advising on how to protect his frame. Frame is everything.

Tell me, in detail, what OP stands to gain from validating this chick.

You realize real seducers don't care about the sh1t you are talking about? If she's not connected to his social circle, why should he care?

 

[AlphaNate]

You realize real seducers don't care about the sh1t you are talking about? If she's not connected to his social circle, why should he care?

Deflecting.

Tell me, in detail, what OP stands to gain from validating this chick.

 

[usernamedox11]

Deflecting.

Tell me, in detail, what OP stands to gain from validating this chick.

Deflecting? Wtf? It's not about validating or not validating. It's about checking out a potential lead. It doesn't go anywhere then who cares? If it goes somewhere, great. Who cares what goes on in her mind?

 

[Firestar786]

Ignore

Plenty of other bitchs to fbck

 

[devilkingx2]

if she only said "happy birthday!" or something along those lines, just like it or something and ignore otherwise.

if she put actual effort into the message and gave you a full paragraph with references to inside jokes from a year ago, then that'd mean something for sure.

 

[lizardking82]

if she only said "happy birthday!" or something along those lines, just like it or something and ignore otherwise.

if she put actual effort into the message and gave you a full paragraph with references to inside jokes from a year ago, then that'd mean something for sure.

That means nothing. That means she's either confused or she just throwin' her bait to see if he'll take it. She has to do the chasing and it's not a pride matter, it's a matter of him being less invested than her in this one, at least at first. A birthday wish will get him all fired up and then dissapointed it did not lead to what he may want.

 

[bigneil]

We were seeing eachother casually. As time went on, I got more beta ..... My birthday comes around and she wished me happy birthday on facebook.

And you stayed beta. Forever. The End.

Nice job adding her on Facebook! Not quite your dream of being in her profile picture, but it's a start.

She thought you were a really good friend, dude.

And just think, guys: this girl wasn't even hot or he'd show a photo. Poor cityboy989. But happy birthday (disclaimer this doesn't mean I want to date you).

 

[btownbuck2012]

And you stayed beta. Forever. The End.

Nice job adding her on Facebook! Not quite your dream of being in her profile picture, but it's a start.

She thought you were a really good friend, dude.

And just think, guys: this girl wasn't even hot or he'd show a photo. Poor cityboy989. But happy birthday (disclaimer this doesn't mean I want to date you).

Another great zing at a guy half your age, Neil.

I can't imagine where this forum would be without your insights. Hell who am I kidding, where would ANY of us be?

 

[bigneil]

Another great zing at a guy half your age, Neil.

Not an argument. Try having a point.

Btw how do you know his age? His age, race, income and girlfriends have been kept secret. You guys have been awfully close lately. Maybe you can put each other in your Facebook profile pictures, seeing that you endorse his Facebook seduction strategies.

Here is my point: don't add women you are interested in to Facebook.

 

[Reykhel]

Unfriend her. Why are you friends (even just Facebook friends) with an ex who "cut contact" with you....

Oh and fvck trying to "seduce" an ex with whom you were emotionally involved with. To what fvcking gain.

Cut her off, like the malignant cvnt that she is. Cancer spreads.

 

[devilkingx2]

Here is my point: don't add women you are interested in to Facebook.

what if your facebook page makes you look cool?

 

[bigneil]

what if your facebook page makes you look cool?

Always? Even when your Uncle Leon needed butt surgery?

I've yet to see an example of Facebook making someone look cool always.

Remember the concept of maintaining a sense of mystery? Impossible on Facebook. She'll hear from you WAY too much. It's just that to a lot of lonely men, without Facebook they would probably have zero interaction with women.

It's the same concept of thinking being her friend will lead to sex. It's the Facebook Friend zone. It actually ruins good relationships is what it does.

Facebook friend = friend.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

Reply how you want.

The guys here telling you to let this go are speaking of your oneitis frame and assuming you can't handle it.

So the question is: what's your current frame like? If it's still emotionally attached, don't reply. That easy. If you could care less...shoot your shot.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

I agree with you @applegoo

But you like a ton of others that have came are avoiding the purpose of this site. Everyone isn't on level 9 out of 10. You can't give that advice without at least understanding that this site is here a lot for guys who want to get to the mindframe of a DJ. Your advice comes from a foundation of thinking OP can wake up tomorrow and be a DJ and one has to have it innately in them from the beginning or they are screwed. False. This site has birthed DJs so trust the process.