Just an update- The week following the breakup she reached out 4 out of the 5 days. I did not initiate any texts or calls. Met up 3 times:
Meet up 1: (3 days after moving out) - took things to her at her work (She gets there 30 minutes early every day) in the parking lot. She asked me to get in her vehicle and talk. She instantly told me that she loves me, misses me and made a huge mistake. Crying. Asked me if this could be fixed. I told her could be fixed if she was willing to do the work, but I didnt trust her. She then called me during her lunch and told me that she was planning a way to fix things. Told me she would call me after work. Never heard from her (this was Sept 5th). I never reached back out.
Meet up 2: I had finished playing golf with my buddies and she called and asked me to meet her for lunch. Met her, and she was talking about loving me, not knowing how to process the doubts in her head that her ex triggered by manipulating the lies about me, etc. I told her no problem but I am not staying in this rut any longer and I was going to start seeing other people in the near future. She looked like someone hit her with hammer. Finished lunch, she asked to sit in her vehicle and talk more. Within a minute or two she was crying, telling me that I am her soulmate, starts hugging and kissing me, some heavy making out. I told her that if she wanted to try to work things out with her ex husband to let me know, and she said she hasnt loved him in years and loves me. I ended up leaving and I actually messaged her ex husband and told him that she had invited me to lunch, I met her, we ended up making out and she told me that she hasnt loved him in years and loves me. And told him that she claims to be sleeping on his couch, He read it, never responded. Which is weird because if something sexual was going on between them, he would have 100% threw it back in my face. Never heard back from her the rest of the day. This was Sept 7th.
Meet up 3: She called me that morning and told me that she had left her jewelry box at my house. Asked if she could come get it over the weekend. I told her no, I would bring it to her. She said she had lunch at 11am and I told her I would bring it to her before I went to the gym. I went through my house and garage and anything that was hers or her kids, I packed it up and took it to her. This time she was a little different, not love bombing me but telling me that I was the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Hugging, no kissing. She told me that her ex husband was p!ssed that I sent him the message the day before, but she didnt act mad about it. I told her that it didnt feel like she was going to act on working things out, just telling me what I wanted to hear, and that I was moving on and not reaching back out. She looked at me and said "Ill be back". I walked away. This was Sept 8th.
SInce- Her dad and his wife called me/messaged me several times. Her moms bf (who Ive known way before her) called me yesterday and I talked to him for about 45 minutes. All made the statement to me that they have no idea why she left something that she said she was truly happy in. And they talked about her last few relationships and how awful they were and how they were all pulling for us.
Her dads wife said that they saw her a week after the breakup and her grandmas bday party and said she was really quiet and didnt say much. Which is very uncharacteristic for her personality.
Her mom's bf told me that he thinks that she viewed the relationship as "too perfect" and when her ex husband started filling her head with BS, she panicked. They all know that I was telling her the truth about never talking to the chick I had to block back in December. And they all told me that it made them upset that she went back to the ex husband.
Both her moms bf and her dad told me that she assured them that she was only sleeping on his couch until an apartment is free. Which backs up why her ex never responded back to me when I told him I met her for lunch and all that.
The only contact since seeing her on Sept 8th- her mail was/is still coming to my house and I got her health insurance packet/card in the mail. I sent her a text letting her know and told her to let me know if she needed it. She never responded.
I feel stupid. I spent the first week of the breakup sick to my stomach. She made me look stupid, but at the end of the day, this will eventually hit her and I will have gotten to a much better place when that happens.