Bi Polar Disorder

[Learning Curve]

I've currently been dating my gf for 10 months. Outside of the last 3 weeks, everything was great. Sex, communication, friendship, affection, etc. She is also bi polar and does take a low to mod dose of medicine for it. There were no trust issues so I really never experienced her blowing up on me.

Before my gf, I hooked up with a woman that I had to end up blocking. Even though I told her that I didn't want a relationship with her and the hook up was a one time thing, she became very angry when I told her I started seeing someone and didn't want to talk to her anymore (her actions were completely crazy and disrespectful). And I blocked her..

Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and the woman I blocked started talking to my gf's ex. Told him that I used her for sex (which I clearly stated my intentions with her and we only hooked up once) and said that we had texted all the way until March of this year, which is a lie. Nevertheless, my gf's ex made it a point to pass along that info to my gf.
Early November- hooked up with crazy woman
End November- started seeing my current gf.
First week of December- blocked crazy woman after she blew up on me when I refused to see her again and told her I was seeing someone

My gf and I discussed it in detail. I was 100% honest and transparent. She knows her ex is not a person of character and knows his intentions, which are to blow up our relationship. My gf agreed to work through this after I assured her of what really happened.
Then yesterday she decided to message the crazy woman I hooked up with before I knew my gf.....and again re-accused me of talking to her after we had been dating for months.
She told me the other night that she has insecurities from her ex cheating on her, lying to her, etc and that she is sorry for self sabotaging our relationship. Then blows up on me last night.

Is this a thing with people who are bi polar? I'm just curious as I've never been in this situation with someone before

Happy Hunting

This to me seems like a case of an insecure woman that can't handle a simple "one-time-sex"

The problem with this type of women is that they create all sort of problems because of their insecurity i had a woman like this before act exactly this way.

You can't really do anything besides ignoring her and moving on which I'm sure you already did. The thing is she will continue to cause problems until her ego gets filled to the point where she feels that she f3cuked up your current relationship.

This will be all on your gf to accept that this woman is a total disaster and move on from this situation.

 

[The Duke]

For some clarity, the letter she left me:
"It is killing me to write this, but I honestly didn't have the courage to say it to you in person. As I am sure you know by now, I am moving out. I wanted to say thank you for all of the perfect times we have had together and with my kids. You're an amazing man and any woman in this world would be SO lucky to have you. I want to apologize for all of the terrible things I have done to you. You did not deserve that. I absolutely loved you the first time I ever looked into your blue eyes. I wish I could get everything out of my head that tells me we won't work out but I can't. Its a major flaw in me that I can't shake. I hope that one day you can forgive me for all of this, but just know that I truly love you with all my heart. I could have not wished for a better man. I wish nothing but the best for you in this life and I hope one day our paths will come back together when I am a stronger woman with less baggage. You are my soul mate and that will never change. Until we see each other again someday......I'll love you always. "

I've heard and experienced this sort of thing several times from the crazy girls I dated. I think they all read the same book.

Let me translate the crazy womaneese b.s. straight to manspeak.

I'm a weak person and have a hard time confronting my issues in person. I'm going to do all of this behind your back because its easier for me and I won't be taken to task on any of it. I never told you I do lots of things behind your back and call you out on what I'm most guilty of. First let me rub your ego and tell you how great you are to lessen the blow. I'm really fuhking crazy, I've been trying to hold it in and some slipped out the other day. Its really stressful being someone I'm not. I know you would drop me if you saw too much of who I really am. Thats my biggest fear and really what this is all about. Oops my insecurities are coming out again just like with your last girl. When I start feeling like things are too stable, I like to bring out my insecurities and sabotage my own relationship. I prefer unhealthy attachments to people. Thats why my ex lasted so long. You're too healthy minded for me. I'll leave you with one last sentence of bullschitt to blur your vision and tug on your heart strings because us crazy people are master manipulators....I'll always love you soulmate!

ps. that part I told you about going to live with my mom, well I'll probably go live with my ex. Most likely we will patch things back up. I'll give him some hot sex and he'll let me move back in.

Who helped load her uhaul? I'd imagine there were some large items she needed a man to carry.

 

[soulforge]

I've heard and experienced this sort of thing several times from the crazy girls I dated. I think they all read the same book.

Let me translate the crazy womaneese b.s. straight to manspeak.

I'm a weak person and have a hard time confronting my issues in person. I'm going to do all of this behind your back because its easier for me and I won't be taken to task on any of it. I never told you I do lots of things behind your back and call you out on what I'm most guilty of. First let me rub your ego and tell you how great you are to lessen the blow. I'm really fuhking crazy, I've been trying to hold it in and some slipped out the other day. Its really stressful being someone I'm not. I know you would drop me if you saw too much of who I really am. Thats my biggest fear and really what this is all about. Oops my insecurities are coming out again just like with your last girl. When I start feeling like things are too stable, I like to bring out my insecurities and sabotage my own relationship. I prefer unhealthy attachments to people. Thats why my ex lasted so long. You're too healthy minded for me. I'll leave you with one last sentence of bullschitt to blur your vision and tug on your heart strings because us crazy people are master manipulators....I'll always love you soulmate!

ps. that part I told you about going to live with my mom, well I'll probably go live with my ex. Most likely we will patch things back up. I'll give him some hot sex and he'll let me move back in.

Excellent breakdown. I read the letter she left behind for GG and I wasn't buying it.

Is it fair to state, that the only way a relationship can be had with bipolar/BPD woman is to behave in a MUCH more toxic manner than she possibly could?

I mean like manipulate her, treat her like garbage time to time lol

I don't see how long that could continue for though.

 

[MtmVaott]

I've heard and experienced this sort of thing several times from the crazy girls I dated. I think they all read the same book.

Let me translate the crazy womaneese b.s. straight to manspeak.

I'm a weak person and have a hard time confronting my issues in person. I'm going to do all of this behind your back because its easier for me and I won't be taken to task on any of it. I never told you I do lots of things behind your back and call you out on what I'm most guilty of. First let me rub your ego and tell you how great you are to lessen the blow. I'm really fuhking crazy, I've been trying to hold it in and some slipped out the other day. Its really stressful being someone I'm not. I know you would drop me if you saw too much of who I really am. Thats my biggest fear and really what this is all about. Oops my insecurities are coming out again just like with your last girl. When I start feeling like things are too stable, I like to bring out my insecurities and sabotage my own relationship. I prefer unhealthy attachments to people. Thats why my ex lasted so long. You're too healthy minded for me. I'll leave you with one last sentence of bullschitt to blur your vision and tug on your heart strings because us crazy people are master manipulators....I'll always love you soulmate!

ps. that part I told you about going to live with my mom, well I'll probably go live with my ex. Most likely we will patch things back up. I'll give him some hot sex and he'll let me move back in.

Who helped load her uhaul? I'd imagine there were some large items she needed a man to carry.

These women pick certain men. They don't pick those who are used to healthy relationships. Men who are used to healthy relationships know how they should feel in the relationship and how the communication is supposed to be.
Edit: This is just an information that I think is quite important for the future. I don't mean it in a demeaning way.

 

[Glassguy]

Excellent breakdown. I read the letter she left behind for GG and I wasn't buying it.

Is it fair to state, that the only way a relationship can be had with bipolar/BPD woman is to behave in a MUCH more toxic manner than she possibly could?

I mean like manipulate her, treat her like garbage time to time lol

I don't see how long that could continue for though.

Yes. And it CANT continue. That's why they leave and go back. Then they leave and go back.

The chick I'm talking about in this thread had left him and went back 5 times. The last time over a year ago when they got divorce.

Not even a divorce can slow it down. I've also noticed that the first 10 months she was great. No lies, honesty, communicated extremely well and was very empathetic. Integrity. Strongly involved with her immediate family. Conversations instead of arguments.

The past month since he has been in her head it's been the complete opposite. Lie after lie. Deceitful. Talking about a problem turned into arguments. Dodging her family so they don't know she's going back to the ex that they all spent lots of time and effort helping her get away from.

Point being, with him in his head, she turned into the person she had to be around him. Fighting dirty and lying even if the proof was right in front of her face. But they know that's the mentality they need in order to be around them. It's like she was preparing for him in a weird way.

I don't understand why women choose to go back to these toxic relationships but they do. My mind doesn't work like theirs.

It's literally like trying to keep someone in recovery away from the crack house.

I learned a valuable lesson on this one. My first experience with Bi Polar / BPD. It sucks because I loved the person she was before. But I do not love the person she changed into.

 

[soulforge]

Yes. And it CANT continue. That's why they leave and go back. Then they leave and go back.

The chick I'm talking about in this thread had left him and went back 5 times. The last time over a year ago when they got divorce.

Not even a divorce can slow it down. I've also noticed that the first 10 months she was great. No lies, honesty, communicated extremely well and was very empathetic. Integrity. Strongly involved with her immediate family. Conversations instead of arguments.

The past month since he has been in her head it's been the complete opposite. Lie after lie. Deceitful. Talking about a problem turned into arguments. Dodging her family so they don't know she's going back to the ex that they all spent lots of time and effort helping her get away from.

Point being, with him in his head, she turned into the person she had to be around him. Fighting dirty and lying even if the proof was right in front of her face. But they know that's the mentality they need in order to be around them. It's like she was preparing for him in a weird way.

I don't understand why women choose to go back to these toxic relationships but they do. My mind doesn't work like theirs.

It's literally like trying to keep someone in recovery away from the crack house.

I learned a valuable lesson on this one. My first experience with Bi Polar / BPD. It sucks because I loved the person she was before. But I do not love the person she changed into.

I mean it's possible to have a relationship with BPD, you just need to be, to some degree a psychopath & really turn on the toxicity. You have to be mean and treat like crap at times.

Yeh she will leave at some point, but you can get years out her under those conditions, instead of months.

Here is a red flag.. If any girl tells you that her ex was toxic. Ask her how long she was with him, guaranteed it will be many many years.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I mean it's possible to have a relationship with BPD, you just need to be, to some degree a psychopath & really turn on the toxicity. You have to be mean and treat like crap at times.

Calculated cruelty can still be consensual.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

If any girl tells you that her ex was toxic.

That doesn't necessarily tell you anything. Women take break-ups differently than men and I heard plenty women badmouthing ex-lovers they didn't know I knew to be stand up people.

A real red flag? If all her exes were 'toxic', you're going to be her next 'toxic ex'.

 

[member162951]

@Glassguy what happened with her jewelry box?

 

[soulforge]

@Glassguy what happened with her jewelry box?

Yeh I hope GG didn't meet her and get roped back into that situation again.

I mean she has red flags coming out of her azz.. Aslong as that ex of hers is in the picture, GG needs to leave this alone.

 

[Glassguy]

@Glassguy what happened with her jewelry box?

I took it back to her, as well as anything else she may have accidentally "left" here to make sure there were no more reason to contact me.

 

[Glassguy]

Yeh I hope GG didn't meet her and get roped back into that situation again.

I mean she has red flags coming out of her azz.. Aslong as that ex of hers is in the picture, GG needs to leave this alone.

That is what I told her in a nutshelI. I met with her and told her that I was removing myself from the situation and I was going to see other people.
I haven't reached out to her all week. She's called and texted me, and I've responded to put this thing to bed for now.
She did not like me telling her I was going to date other people. She knows I have several orbiters that I will pull in just for pvssy.
I also told her that she needs professional help to deal with the shyte in her head from all the past relationship baggage. Which she surprisingly agreed with.

She's not used to people walking away from her. It will be interesting to see how she handles it. At some point this is all going to hit her.

 

[Stuffnu]

The past month since he has been in her head it's been the complete opposite.

Yes, he’s the trigger.
Until she can purge this man from every fiber of her mind and body, she has zero chance of recovery and stability.

 

[The Duke]

Yes, he’s the trigger.
Until she can purge this man from every fiber of her mind and body, she has zero chance of recovery and stability.

These people never recover. One trigger will be replaced with another trigger.

 

[soulforge]

Yes, he’s the trigger.
Until she can purge this man from every fiber of her mind and body, she has zero chance of recovery and stability.

I had an ex one time tell me, that she can feel her ex in the pit of of her stomach, because of the power and control he had over her for many many years.

This type of woman is very risky to get involved with. The ex will always be a factor, add to that, she has children with him.

GG can't compete in this situation.

 

[soulforge]

That is what I told her in a nutshelI. I met with her and told her that I was removing myself from the situation and I was going to see other people.
I haven't reached out to her all week. She's called and texted me, and I've responded to put this thing to bed for now.
She did not like me telling her I was going to date other people. She knows I have several orbiters that I will pull in just for pvssy.
I also told her that she needs professional help to deal with the shyte in her head from all the past relationship baggage. Which she surprisingly agreed with.

She's not used to people walking away from her. It will be interesting to see how she handles it. At some point this is all going to hit her.

Is she actually living with the ex now? You mentioned something about her car in the Exes drive.

 

[member162951]

That is what I told her in a nutshelI. I met with her and told her that I was removing myself from the situation and I was going to see other people.
I haven't reached out to her all week. She's called and texted me, and I've responded to put this thing to bed for now.
She did not like me telling her I was going to date other people. She knows I have several orbiters that I will pull in just for pvssy.
I also told her that she needs professional help to deal with the shyte in her head from all the past relationship baggage. Which she surprisingly agreed with.

She's not used to people walking away from her. It will be interesting to see how she handles it. At some point this is all going to hit her.

The fact she's called and texted you leads me back to believing on some unconscious level this was a sh*t test. Yeah it's gonna hit her once she realizes you're not some panzy she can jerk around for attention, drama or on a whim.

 

[soulforge]

The fact she's called and texted you leads me back to believing on some unconscious level this was a sh*t test. Yeah it's gonna hit her once she realizes you're not some panzy she can jerk around for attention, drama or on a whim.

Yeh let her roam the streets for a while.. When Chad and Tyrone are done with her, she will be reaching out to GG

 

[Glassguy]

Just an update- The week following the breakup she reached out 4 out of the 5 days. I did not initiate any texts or calls. Met up 3 times:

Meet up 1: (3 days after moving out) - took things to her at her work (She gets there 30 minutes early every day) in the parking lot. She asked me to get in her vehicle and talk. She instantly told me that she loves me, misses me and made a huge mistake. Crying. Asked me if this could be fixed. I told her could be fixed if she was willing to do the work, but I didnt trust her. She then called me during her lunch and told me that she was planning a way to fix things. Told me she would call me after work. Never heard from her (this was Sept 5th). I never reached back out.

Meet up 2: I had finished playing golf with my buddies and she called and asked me to meet her for lunch. Met her, and she was talking about loving me, not knowing how to process the doubts in her head that her ex triggered by manipulating the lies about me, etc. I told her no problem but I am not staying in this rut any longer and I was going to start seeing other people in the near future. She looked like someone hit her with hammer. Finished lunch, she asked to sit in her vehicle and talk more. Within a minute or two she was crying, telling me that I am her soulmate, starts hugging and kissing me, some heavy making out. I told her that if she wanted to try to work things out with her ex husband to let me know, and she said she hasnt loved him in years and loves me. I ended up leaving and I actually messaged her ex husband and told him that she had invited me to lunch, I met her, we ended up making out and she told me that she hasnt loved him in years and loves me. And told him that she claims to be sleeping on his couch, He read it, never responded. Which is weird because if something sexual was going on between them, he would have 100% threw it back in my face. Never heard back from her the rest of the day. This was Sept 7th.

Meet up 3: She called me that morning and told me that she had left her jewelry box at my house. Asked if she could come get it over the weekend. I told her no, I would bring it to her. She said she had lunch at 11am and I told her I would bring it to her before I went to the gym. I went through my house and garage and anything that was hers or her kids, I packed it up and took it to her. This time she was a little different, not love bombing me but telling me that I was the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Hugging, no kissing. She told me that her ex husband was p!ssed that I sent him the message the day before, but she didnt act mad about it. I told her that it didnt feel like she was going to act on working things out, just telling me what I wanted to hear, and that I was moving on and not reaching back out. She looked at me and said "Ill be back". I walked away. This was Sept 8th.

SInce- Her dad and his wife called me/messaged me several times. Her moms bf (who Ive known way before her) called me yesterday and I talked to him for about 45 minutes. All made the statement to me that they have no idea why she left something that she said she was truly happy in. And they talked about her last few relationships and how awful they were and how they were all pulling for us.
Her dads wife said that they saw her a week after the breakup and her grandmas bday party and said she was really quiet and didnt say much. Which is very uncharacteristic for her personality.
Her mom's bf told me that he thinks that she viewed the relationship as "too perfect" and when her ex husband started filling her head with BS, she panicked. They all know that I was telling her the truth about never talking to the chick I had to block back in December. And they all told me that it made them upset that she went back to the ex husband.
Both her moms bf and her dad told me that she assured them that she was only sleeping on his couch until an apartment is free. Which backs up why her ex never responded back to me when I told him I met her for lunch and all that.

The only contact since seeing her on Sept 8th- her mail was/is still coming to my house and I got her health insurance packet/card in the mail. I sent her a text letting her know and told her to let me know if she needed it. She never responded.

I feel stupid. I spent the first week of the breakup sick to my stomach. She made me look stupid, but at the end of the day, this will eventually hit her and I will have gotten to a much better place when that happens.

 

[Glassguy]

Also- I went out with a chick Wednesday night and last night in a group setting, She is an NP that I dated several years ago for a few months, who came to my house the evening of the day my ex moved out, stayed the night and I didnt touch her. And she asked me to go for drinks but I told her that we could hang out in her group instead.

I went out on a direct date Friday night with a different chick. Within 5 minutes of picking her up, I wanted to take her right back to her car. Not that anything was wrong with her, but just because it was tough seeing someone besides my ex sitting there with me. And I ended the date really quick because of it.

I am going to take the next few weeks in the gym, working, getting my hunting property ready for bow season, etc. Not dating outside of seeing the Nurse Prac here and there and more than likely in a group setting. But I am careful to say much about my ex around her because she owns a mental health clinic lol, even though she knows I am sane.

So thats the plan. No reaching out, if for some reason my ex reaches out I have a decision to make. Even if I do respond back, I have to be really cautious and careful in how I do it. But if she can stay away for over a full week, chances are I might not hear back from her. At least not until she gets an apt and has time to process things.

Its interesting that she deleted snapchat (I was adding friends from my contacts and she appeared to no longer have an account) and she still looks at every story I post on Instagram. I removed her as a friend on facebook, removed her from snap and I dont follow her on Insta but she still follows me.