Die Hard
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2009
- Messages
- 1,783
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Here's the contradiction, though. I am able to adopt the mindset you described when I'm just looking for sex. What the hell do I care about women's behavior when basically the only behavior I'm looking for is that she bends over, right? So yeah, it works in that case...This is going to sound very anti-Guru1000, but all you need to do is show them egoless love.
Have NO agenda. Just enjoy them as they are in whomever they are. Don’t judge. Accept them and they will be more loyal to you than you can ever
imagine.
A lot of people ask how I forge my girls into troopers?
Do I command them? Do I sell them a false bill of goods? Do I pretend to be someone or something I’m not? Do I them how much money I make or flex my bicep?
No none of that.
I just show them egoless love without need for reciprocity. Without expectation, rules, or agenda.
They feel totally free in my space. They cannot reject me as I’m not asking for anything for which to reject. Get it?
They FEEL bliss in my presence and so become loyal by default. They are a reflection of you so if they are rejecting a certain part of you, they are rejecting that part of themselves which they don’t want <===read that again
So give them the part of themselves that they do want.
If your failing with women, th biggest reason is your vibe. They FEEL you want something from them. No one wants to feel obligated and thus their aversion.
Release all needs when you’re out with them and enjoy the NOW with straight egoless love. Not in a feminine, gay way but a masculine, non-needy, DGAF, giving vibe and I promise you, you will see a huge inversion in how they respond to you.
But when you actually prefer to have a meaningful, stable relationship with a woman, you obviously expect a lot more from her behavior and her character. So when that is the underlying motive in the back of your mind when you go out and meet women, you certainly will judge them a lot harder, you will be disappointed and many times disgusted when women show behavior that doesn't allign with your expectations. And yes, you obviously will have expectations of them, since you're looking for a girl who can offer something more than just sex! And yes, when you have those expectations, they obviously will FEEL you want something from them!
Now perhaps they will feel obligated because of this and thus experience aversion towards you. But this really just disqualifies her as a good fit for you, right? She just disqualified herself for being "girlfriend material". The problem is, as soon as I realize that, my second thought is: "Oh well, let's forget about that possibility. She does look freakin hot and it would be awesopme to bang her brains out!" But by then, that's not gonna work anymore. She already feels judged, she already noticed somehow through my behavior that I've "disqualified" her when I was judging her through my "girlfriend material" lens...
Ideally, a guy should be able to be fluid and agile with his mindset. When you see a woman and observe that she has good qualities, it is okay to "activate" the mindset within you where you prefer to have a meaningful and stable relationship with a woman, and expect a woman to have the needed qualities for that.
But when you see a woman and observe that she has very few of those qualities, you should "switch off" that mindset, coz she obviously won't meet your requirements, you'll be disappointed with her, she'll notice that through your behavior and not feel attracted to you. So you could have sex with her if you "switch off" that attitude.
My problem is, I cannot switch from one mindset to the other or have no mindset at all. I either go out with the mindset that I prefer a good woman who can offer me something more than sex, or I go out wih the mindset that I just want to bang girl's brains out.
In the first case, I mess up my chances with all the horny chicks who I could potentially have sex with (because I'm disappointed with their behavior, they feel judged etc.)
In the second case, I mess up my chances with the "quality" girls because I come off as a player who just wants to bang their brains out, lol.
The trick should be not to have any predefined attitude when going out and meeting women and simply adjusting your attitude according to who is in front of you. But is that even possible? Can you do that, guru1000?
Furthermore, why is it that you live the life of a player? You come across as a guy who "has it all" and should be able to catch a great quality woman who you can have a stable, fulfilling relationship with. But you don't have that... Now I can guess that you'll say you don't have time for that or even that you don't WISH to have a stable LTR because you have other priorities in life. But is that really the case or is it just the way you justify the fact that you don't have a stable LTR, so you won't feel bad about it?
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