benefits of female friends

[Machina]

Backbreaker, it's so funny how you always try to belittle other people on this board. After the post you made about the stripper ignoring you and you getting all upset about it, I figured I would take anything you said with a grain of salt.

Having female friends isn't AFC at all, depending on the situation. If it is a chick you want to f*ck, and you sit around talking to her all day in the hopes of banging her, then well that is AFC. If it is a true frendship, then it's not AFC. Some chicks are actually really cool and fun to be around in a nonsexual way. My best friend is a girl named Angela and we have been friends for 10 years now. I met her when she was banging my brother. She is kind of a player Alpha female type and her opinions have always been invaluable.

I am not saying you should meet girls and instantly want to be their BFF, but if you have the mindset that you cannot be a woman's friend, you are missing out on something bigger than a F-close.

 

[stubbornlights]

Nice, Machina.
That's exactly what I was trying to get at. But you wrote it much more succinctly and accurately than I did.
I think someone insinuated that I go around actually looking for female friends. nope. but if it happens somewhere along the line, accidentally, or if I still have FF from years and years ago, so be it.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

stubborn lights

As I said in my post I want you to work on this... My thoughts are always interspersed, they change on a daily basis, and they are non-dynamic, I have taken it upon myself to always look at things from different angles. I don't choose "sides".In this case, there is no "side" there is only misconceptions. I guess I do choose a side though, the side that chooses to learn, than to be "always right".

Saying that I still don't have a cold cut case on this issue. I know that friends are awesome. I know that girls are awesome. I know that combining awesome and awesome make for a surreal realization. I aim to teach people to be intuitive and selfaware. At times though, the arguments are difficult, and I don't have the knowledge int hat specific area.

This thread is progressing very smoothly. What you should do is look at the arguments, and make notes as to why they are wrong. There are many false statements in backbreakers words. He backs them up with "beside the point" research analysis done by an esteemed author to give his words more "cred". What you've got to do is look at "the big picture".

Friendships are around for a reason. For support through trying times, which is basically, whenever you try.

Good luck with your case, I'm cheering you on. I know you can be confident and make your voice heard effectively.

Seduce the hell out of em dude.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Oh yeah, forgot to throw this in there... well forgot to ask you to throw this in there...

"mon ami" "mon cheri" "mi amos" "my friend" "my lover"

English is a language derived from other languages. It is almost a language of thievery. I am no expert in the subject, but I can definitely tell you the old meanings hold a lot more water than people tend to accept. There are archaic terms which are mainstream, and urban terms which are gaining in popularity. Words that we use, have been used by intellectuals and ingrained into our minds for the sake of argument. You can usually tell a false argument by the type of voice that is used in the writing, sometimes there are false leads though, some people desire to draw anger for a purpose... Language is going to be one of my areas of study when I grow older, so please bear with my desire to articulate my goals

Friend is literally derived from latin, which was probably defined from something far older, cuni form probably which came from tribal gestures and hyroglyphs.... German french and archaic english structures combined to create in writing the term friend. As always it was a slow process, like current day knowledge of wordgames coming into existence, new words are run of the mill now, with next to no rooting in old language.

*friend literally means peaceful lover*

 

[Tha Realnezz]

^Tu sabes espanol,compadre?

 

[ethnomethodologist]

no habla esagnol, senor(?)
I can't speak it. Never taken a class in my life

three languages I wanna learn though is french, spanish n roman(latin?). I don't even know the stuff. Just basics of what I gathered from dictionaries and arguments of meanings*shrug*

What's a good way to get the motivation to learn a language? I am trapped in a rather single minded society that is fighting with encouraging the survival of its own. Nobody here really has the desire to teach 'new' languages yet

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by Machina
Backbreaker, it's so funny how you always try to belittle other people on this board. After the post you made about the stripper ignoring you and you getting all upset about it, I figured I would take anything you said with a grain of salt.

Having female friends isn't AFC at all, depending on the situation. If it is a chick you want to f*ck, and you sit around talking to her all day in the hopes of banging her, then well that is AFC. If it is a true frendship, then it's not AFC. Some chicks are actually really cool and fun to be around in a nonsexual way. My best friend is a girl named Angela and we have been friends for 10 years now. I met her when she was banging my brother. She is kind of a player Alpha female type and her opinions have always been invaluable.

I am not saying you should meet girls and instantly want to be their BFF, but if you have the mindset that you cannot be a woman's friend, you are missing out on something bigger than a F-close.

Belittle? No, I would never do that.. I'm just blunt.

Am I perfect? No. Hell no, never claimed to be.

However, that situtation and this situtation have absoulty nothing in common.

As far as me and the stripper, I wasn't mad becuase I couldn't get her to talk to me or like me, I was mad becuase I paid for a service that I didn't receive.. just as you would go to mcdonalds and pay for a Quarter Pounder meal and get just a drink, you'd be pissed.


and it's funny, you are saying the exact same thing I am saying.. I never said it was WRONG to have a female friend..

You are reading into it what you want to read into it.

What I am aruging about is how she came to be your friend in the first place.

Even my old oneitis.. towards the end of our relationship, I can can honestly say that I didn't want to **** her, or even really date her, or anything physical.. but that took almost 3 years to get to that point, before that I would have dropped anyone I was dating in all honestly for her, and that's just me being honest.

The only way you can be friends with a female is if the issue of sex has been addressed, one way or another. Either you decide, both of you, and mean it, that it's not that kind of relationship, or there will always be some type of sexual tension, either on her part or the guys.

In this.. relationship he has with these women, the issue of sex, or so it seems, has not been resolved, even admiting so by the statement

I wanted to write something that would make DJ's look at some girls as not just potential f-closes.

However, even though I said it wasn't wrong to be a woman's friend, and I stand by that, I choose not to have any women friends.. that's my personal choice. Oh, I KNOW women, even hang out with them, but I am careful who I give the "friend" tag to, that's something I take seriously.

Plus, what I have seen, heard and experienced over the longhaul has been that women as far as friends are usually more headache than pleasure.

There is nothing wrong with the guy friends I have, and I barely have enough time in my life for them, let along going out to meet women just for the sake of making new friends.


Plus, if she is physicall attractive to some extent, it might not be instant, but sooner or later there will be feelings there, espically when you "get to know them"


Flame me all you want, I get more ass then the both of you combined more than likely, and that's not even the point, this isn't a pissing contest.

In reality, I went though alot of ****, uncalled for ****, in my late teens, very early 20's, because I had no one to show me better.

The only reason I still post here, is because of that.. because I honestly don't like to see people make the same mistakes I made, that were sooo damn perventable, if I would have just known better.

I'm not "putting anyone down", hell no.. what you have to understand is, if it wasn't for this board, I wouldnt' be anywhere near what I am today, in women or in life.

So when I give advice, it may sound like i am being harsh, so what? Suck it up we are all grown here.. i would rather it be harsh and to the point and you actually get the point then to sugarcoat and walk on eggshells as into what I am trying to say and you think i'm a coolg uy because I told you want you wanted to hear.

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by Tha Realnezz
02-11-2006 02:12 AM

Man this fool posted that long ass novel on a friday at 2 in the morning.And he's trying school me.

Honestly,bruh.

no one is trying to "school' you, just trying to help you wake up and realize what's going on.

ARe you that vindictive that you look for anything, including the time on the post, to look for "ammo" against someone when they are just trying to help?

BTW, FYI that post was made around 9pm my time.. I left my house at 10pm and didn't get home until 6am, it was no way in hell I made it at that time.. i've never looked at how that clock works on this site (why?) so I don't know what it means, but i wasn't anywhere near my PC at 2am

 

[L777]

Originally posted by Tha Realnezz
Thing is for me i'm a real player type,Backbreaker.

I can't be around non-game-having males too long.They annoy the **** outta me.

No i'm not a whimp that's afraid of other males.I just don't like having lowerstatus males around me unless they're related or related to my real circle.

Why?Cuz there's too much hatred and jealousy from them & they talk way too much.Not that I ignore them but I don't lt them in my circle unless they really prove themselves to me.

On top of all that i'm a macc.Why would I be around men instead of women i intend on taking?

If you're a real mac you would be around women most of the time regardless of what you do anyways.They would come to you.

Now like you said...they should be women you ****.Not women you just talk to.

But alas sometimes women who only like to front will sneak in there and you'll be caught up in scenarios like that club incident you mentioned.

It's part of the so-called- game.Your gonna deal with *****es wheter you like it or not.

lol...a billy-no-mates "player"

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Originally posted by ethnomethodologist
no habla esagnol, senor(?)
I can't speak it. Never taken a class in my life

three languages I wanna learn though is french, spanish n roman(latin?). I don't even know the stuff. Just basics of what I gathered from dictionaries and arguments of meanings*shrug*

What's a good way to get the motivation to learn a language? I am trapped in a rather single minded society that is fighting with encouraging the survival of its own. Nobody here really has the desire to teach 'new' languages yet

Spanish you could pick up in less than a year,give or take since they give that traditional Castilian Spanish here in the states.

Once you have the base in Spanish you can learn the other romantic languages.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Originally posted by L777
lol...a billy-no-mates "player"

^I don't what this means.

I suppose you're tryining to say I have no freinds?

Lol...I have a small circle of male freinds.It's just my nature I don't like losers and I'm sorry If I feel that most american men are boring losers nowadays.


I mean I'm social and I do treat everyone with enough respect.But really what is the point?This america...no one really gets along unless you have the same background.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Originally posted by backbreaker
no one is trying to "school' you, just trying to help you wake up and realize what's going on.

ARe you that vindictive that you look for anything, including the time on the post, to look for "ammo" against someone when they are just trying to help?

BTW, FYI that post was made around 9pm my time.. I left my house at 10pm and didn't get home until 6am, it was no way in hell I made it at that time.. i've never looked at how that clock works on this site (why?) so I don't know what it means, but i wasn't anywhere near my PC at 2am

Yeahh..you're trying to help me by calling me an afc and "little man"..?

Cheea...

I don't really wanna hear more from you.Your talking that "I don't need women bull****" most of these guys here are on.A couple of days later and a succesful night with a strange woman,you'll be back here singing a different tune like the rest of these guys.

 

[backbreaker]

just so I can clear the air here, and you can see exactly where I am coming from, because I'm not trying to flame anyone, even if it came off as that, I am trying to prevent some of you young guys from going though some of the stuff I went tho ugh.. because the **** hurt and I would wish that **** upon no one... so I'm going to tell a story, a true story about me, becuase I have to go here in about an ho ur and I won't be back the rest of the day (i have 2 dates )


When I was 17.. about 6 years ago almost, I met this girl.. well I didn't MET her, I already knew her for the most part, but we weren't friends.

I was dating her Best Friend, and one day she asked could her friend tag along, and when I got in the car, I was like "damn, this is the finest girl I have ever seen".. she was so damn fine that I didn't even like my Gf at the time, and she was pretty cute.

So over the next month, maybe 2, she started calling me and paging me (remember, this was 6 years ago, cell phones were almost nonexistant, at least down here, for teenagers) looking for her friend, my GF at the time.. then she would just call to talk to me.

We became pretty cool, and as hot as I thought she was, I wasn't shallow enough to just drop my GF, who did nothing wrong and basically worshiped me, for this girl, I didn't even know her like that.

So one day, it happens.. we brake up (she started liking someone else, I didnt' necessary stop her from leaving.. I had bigger fish to fry if you catch my drift), I think that was a Thursday...

I worked with my GF or now Ex GF at the time, so I found it odd, or strange when her friend, the hot girl, asked me did I want to go "kick it" with her after I got off work.. I told her hey, my car was at home, which was right down the street but nevertheless, it was an inconvenience, and she said, don't worry, she would pick me up from work.

So she picks me up, to the astoshment of her Best Friend.

Even at this time, even though I wouldn't have mind ****ing the **** out of her, I never thought anything of it, at least yet, because I just broke up with her Best Friend 2 days earlier. However, she kept dropping hints that she was pretty damn interested, and we even kissed before we left each other.

Let me move forward, becuase I need to start getting dressed. Basically, I blew it, I became the biggest AFC on the face of the earth when I realized I actually had a chance.

That's what made it sooo damn hard for me to get rid of this girl, even though she LJBF'ed me, there was always some type of physical attraction on both ends.

What REALLLLLY made it hard for me to leave her alone was this.. this is what she would do.

I would say, and mean it.. "look babe, you know I wouldn't mind dating you, or at least getting to know you on that level enough to consider it, but if you don't like me or don't want to give it a shot, you are a cool cat, I don't mind hanging out with you still, i just need to know either way so I can move on"... I had to tell her that at least.. 5 times over the last 3-5 years.

and she would say of cousre, she wanted to be friends.. and granted she had a BF for 3 of thoose years.

But she would do this.. she would start increasing her calls... she would always stop by my house when she was in my neighborhood and we would watch TV or go grab a bite to eat or something, but everyonce in a while, she would be "around the corner" every damn day, and always seemed to have all this damn free time to spend with me, even with the BF.

She would start calling me at 1, 2 in the morning, asking me **** like what type of sexual positions i like and ****... Start making induendos about what I dan and can't do (one day I told her i had "company" when she called, and she told me " you can't have female company if it's not me")...
So I mean.... I've been around the block a few times, so I would make a move, one way or another.. and a few times she was even receptive of the move.. one time we french kissed in her car for a good 15 mintues.. when she still had a BF

One night she spent then ight at my house and we slept in the same bed, kissing the entire night.. and I told her right then, the only reason I'm not having sex or trying to is because you have a BF, and I won't be the reason you break up with him.

So after all of this.. it's like clockwork.. she comes back and "doesn't know where I get the idea that she likes me from" and "doesn't see me like that" and "always thinks of me as a friend"

And Like I would tell her.. Babe, i was cool with being friends, I really was.. hell by the time she contacted me again I was on in the dating world, I had other women to talk to, and when I would call her, it seriously would be as a 100% friend.. I mean, of course, she was still smokin hot, I didnt' call her with the intentions of ****ing her, that's how i know it can be done.. because I seriusly didn't ever call her with the intentions of ****ing her... she would bring it up, in one way or another,and I would make a move, she would make a move, I would make antoher one and she would put the breaks on.

It got to the extreme about last October.. we actually had cut though the bull**** and were semi/dating/****ing on a constant basis. She even asked me did I want to be in a serious relationship with her (she had long gone broken up with her Bf).. then one day, she does it again.

Mind you, she pracitally threw herself at me when we started getting back together (made a post about it a while ago)

So I said **** it, this girl isnt' worth it.

yes, about 80% of the time, if not more, we were very good friends and if it were up to me, in all honestly, I was gaming enough women that I not only didn' tneed her, I had matured enough to know that as hot as she was, she wasn't one for a LTR, at least at this point in her life, for me.. but she was a damn good lay though

My Ex, who used to live with me would come home sometimes and my friend and I would be sitting down watching TV and my ex wouldn't think anything of it.. i mean, she didn't like her, but at the same time she knew that there was nothing there.. she even told me "it's not you I'm worried about, it's that sneaky ***** that I don't like"

This isn't the only problem with female friends..

The problem is, is that as friendly as you are, even if it's your own intentions to be friends, which is the case sometimes, LIKE I SAID, IF THE POINT OF SEX HASN'T BEEN ADDRESSED, THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SEXUAL TENSION.

In other words, at some point of every male female friendship, the realtionship will turn into what it's supposed to be.. a male/female relatioship.. one person will at one point always develop some type of feelings for the other, because that's what males/females are wired to do

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Playa you ****ed up.Don't assume everyone will tolerate **** like that cuz I wouldn't.

Not at 17,not at 23,no age would I allow things like that to continue for long.

There are hellcat women running the streets doing things like this also..just cuz they feel like it ..nothing to do sometimes with how you handle yourself.

**** happens.