Being outside today

[Hamurabimbi]

Spent the last week with the GF in a mountain resort area. Most people are couples snd average looking. A fair number of young, cute girls in packs of 3-4 with no guys. Lots of flirty cashier/waitress etc girls (my natural prey if i weren’t attached).

 

[AttackFormation]

Thanks for all the replies everyone, feeling really positive from this thread so far.

I've spent hundreds of hours day gaming in Eastern European countries where it is absolutely not the norm to approach strangers and start up a conversation.

To directly address your question-comments quoted above:
As to cold approaching being something "weird" and/or bothersome, the more you cold approach, the more you realize it isn't weird in a bad way and 9 times out of 10 or more it isn't bothersome. Most women are interested in having an interaction with a stranger who carries on a good conversation, even if she isn't available or attracted. As men, we forget a woman's nature is to talk talk talk talk talk. They LOVE it. And they also love experiencing the full range of positive and negative emotions too. So talking to strangers scratches multiple itches. You are literally doing them a favor. So you MUST reprogram your brain to stop thinking it's a bad/bothersome thing. Actually doing the cold approaches will help you the most with this, but you can also do daily affirmations. Once a day, repeat to yourself, "Women want to meet me and talk to me." Sounds dumb but it works. Ready Psycho Cybernetics if you haven't already.

Now, as for it being weird, yes it is somewhat out of the ordinary - no argument there. But NOT in a bad way and that's what you need to get past. It's weird in a GOOD way. Women are not used to men with balls big enough to literally stop them on the street with no IOIs and start talking to them. Generally the closest they will get to that are guys who cat-call them which is a completely different thing from having a genuine, personal interaction. So, what I have learned works extremely well in cold approaches without IOIs is to be completely direct, and pre-frame the conversation with the acknowledgement that you understand this is unusual and not typical. That pre-frame demonstrates to her that you are socially intelligent and not crazy. And being direct is usually received in a positive way by a complete stranger and it eases some of the tension. Some might debate me about releasing tension and direct vs indirect approaches - I'm happy to have that debate but when you are new to cold approaching, I can tell you from hundreds, if not thousands of cold approaches from my own personal experience, that being direct is the way to go unless there is some other circumstance that helps you ease into a natural conversation (like you see her reading a book you've read and you can start a conversation about the book etc).

So the technique is just to walk directly up to a woman and say, "Excuse me, I know this is a little unusual, but I saw you and thought you were incredibly attractive and I just had to come and meet you," or something very similar. Even if she isn't interested or has a boyfriend or whatever, MOST women won't react negatively to that at all. They will be flattered and appreciative and will have a conversation with you. I can't tell you how many women have literally thanked me, at the end of the conversation or via text or social media later, for stopping and talking to them. I've heard, "you made my day" countless times and that's even from a percentage of women who I wasn't subsequently able to get out on a date. Could be they had boyfriends or just weren't interested, but in either case, the point here is that they LIKED it.

In all my hundreds/thousands of approaches, I've had maybe two that I recall as being bad. One was a girl waiting at the exit of a grocery store, waiting on her girlfriend to finish checking out. I did this one indirect, looking in her cart and asking her what she was cooking. I could tell she wasn't into it and gave one word answers. So after maybe 20 seconds of trying to get her to open up, I excused myself. Another was in Eastern Europe and I happened to meet a girl who apparently didn't speak English. She hissed something at me in another language and didn't stop walking. I've had some girls just keep walking and ignore my approach but that's actually pretty rare.

I wish I lived where you did so I could go out with you and help you get some momentum.

One of the few times ive cold approached, i by chance met the girl on the subway much later and she actually took forth her instagram to show me the post she'd made that day, which said id made her day and then referenced her boyfriend.

While thinking now, ive come up with this opener: "Hey! uhh, i got sight of you and you know... you look like my type! do i look like yours?" delivered with one of my characteristic smiles and some situational chuckling. I want to say something that gets to the point immediately, doesnt waste both of our time pretending to be platonic, but still displays lighthearted social awareness and doesnt come off as autistic or blowhard.

Sounds fun to pull off some of those affirmations before that haha!

 

[corrector]

Lots of flirty cashier/waitress etc girls (my natural prey if i weren’t attached).

That's interesting since a number of other posters, like @mikedee, tend to stay away from service girls. Those must be the normies then. You must be chadlite/chad tier to be getting lots of flirty cashiers.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

That's interesting since a number of other posters, like @mikedee, tend to stay away from service girls. Those must be the normies then. You must be chadlite/chad tier to be getting lots of flirty cashiers.

I’ve dated a lot of them. Not sure why this would make me ‘chaddy’ though?

 

[corrector]

I’ve dated a lot of them. Not sure why this would make me ‘chaddy’ though?

You are virtue signaling if you are asking that type of question, lol! This is not @SW15 's experience, or many other people on here including @Black Widow Void. They would see that cashiers are the worst type of people to run game with because they are at work and the interaction is too rushed. They would have to have a really high interest level, and I mean physical attraction, for that to work. That's not the type of thing a 5-7 normie would easily pull off (especially in the more 5 level).

Designating who is chad, normie, or sub-5 is primarily based on how other women are treating you. Based on what you've posted so far on how women, like cashiers, are treating you, then its simple to conclude you are chaddy. If you weren't, then how come other posters who have done approaches or are doing cold approach actually avoid cashiers if they are such low hanging fruit?

 

[Georgepithyou]

My conclusion is a reinforcement of what we already know: the greatest problem for meeting women is having no social spheres to do it through. Because i guarantee that as good as none of these couples had met through OLD, and that virtually no cold approaching was going on in the riverwalk either.

We need to create our own social circle, using meetup to meet people with common interests is a good start. It's good to base your social circles on a common activity you all enjoy.

 

[characternote]

Thousands of approaches and 5 lays. The juice was worth the squeeze?

60 odd lays. (Guess I shouldn't use the British phrase 'handful' lol)
And yes, definitely worth the squeeze for me personally.
It isn't a 'chore' a such, because I only cold approach in bars and stuff when i'm already 'out' anyway and just having fun with friends
Some rejections sting of course (UK girls can be way more harsh and rude than US girls as culturally, cold approach is way more unusual here)
But some of them girls have been way out of my league.
Even if it was only 5 lays, i'd still have considered it worth it

 

[oldmanofthesea]

"Hey! uhh, i got sight of you and you know... you look like my type! do i look like yours?"

It's good that you are gearing up and coming up with some openers. I like where you are going with this but allow me to make a couple slight tweaks to your line above. I wouldn't ask her if you look like her type because you want to come off as assuming you are every girl's type. Plus asking her this up-front forces her to make an immediate yes/no romantic decision about you before she has a chance to talk to you. Women are very visual, but they generally prioritize looks less than men do. That is not to say they don't highly prize looks, it's just that with women, a man's attitude and the way he makes her feel has much more impact than does a woman to a man. So the point is to get her attention, get her to focus on you, and get a few minutes minimum of interaction time with her in order to allow her to assess her feelings for you. Yes, a substantial part will be looks, but a huge part will be how the interaction goes. If you are not her type, you will find out, and women prefer to do this covertly instead of overtly on-the-spot. Second suggestion would be to lose the "uh" as it isn't decisive but this is a minor thing and not that important - I just like to be confident when I approach women because it is congruent with the act of actually doing it. And last suggestion would be to change out the "you look like my type" part because it doesn't make her feel special and unique - it makes it sound like she's just another woman who fits into the giant pool of women who are your type. If you tell her you think she is beautiful or stunning or looks incredible in that dress etc, that is much more specific to her and will be received better.

One of the few times ive cold approached, i by chance met the girl on the subway much later and she actually took forth her instagram to show me the post she'd made that day, which said id made her day and then referenced her boyfriend.

That's awesome! I can promise you, the more you cold approach, the more experiences like this you will have.

 

[corrector]

It isn't a 'chore' a such, because I only cold approach in bars and stuff when i'm already 'out' anyway and just having fun with friends

Suppose you only did day-game?

 

[AttackFormation]

It's good that you are gearing up and coming up with some openers. I like where you are going with this but allow me to make a couple slight tweaks to your line above. I wouldn't ask her if you look like her type because you want to come off as assuming you are every girl's type. Plus asking her this up-front forces her to make an immediate yes/no romantic decision about you before she has a chance to talk to you. Women are very visual, but they generally prioritize looks less than men do. That is not to say they don't highly prize looks, it's just that with women, a man's attitude and the way he makes her feel has much more impact than does a woman to a man. So the point is to get her attention, get her to focus on you, and get a few minutes minimum of interaction time with her in order to allow her to assess her feelings for you. Yes, a substantial part will be looks, but a huge part will be how the interaction goes. If you are not her type, you will find out, and women prefer to do this covertly instead of overtly on-the-spot. Second suggestion would be to lose the "uh" as it isn't decisive but this is a minor thing and not that important - I just like to be confident when I approach women because it is congruent with the act of actually doing it. And last suggestion would be to change out the "you look like my type" part because it doesn't make her feel special and unique - it makes it sound like she's just another woman who fits into the giant pool of women who are your type. If you tell her you think she is beautiful or stunning or looks incredible in that dress etc, that is much more specific to her and will be received better.



That's awesome! I can promise you, the more you cold approach, the more experiences like this you will have.

Hehe, assuming attraction was actually my thought with that question but in a counterintuitive way. Since i assume im her type, i assume her answer will be "yea", and then we'll have confirmed were both interested in each other. My idea was that this puts us on more even and informal ground, and gets to the point too.

I cant imagine they would feel either you or they are special and unique from being told theyre beautiful or stunning... they get told that stuff day in and day out by all of their orbiters and even their girl friends... Sure, they will appreciate it and say "thanks" and move on with their day, but it feels like youve just introduced yourself as another of her many fans. I cant imagine the girls i saw on the riverwalk taking it sincerely and being awed by you for it, but maybe im wrong.

Im not attached to the specifics of what i came up with. But i would like to say something that doesnt introduce me as just another platonic fan, and puts her on the spot a bit to show her cards just like i did for her, so again it's on a more even and informal ground rather than me one-sidedly "courting" her. You think your opener does that?

Got any input @characternote?

 

[DonJuanjr]

But i would like to say something that doesnt introduce me as just another platonic fan, and puts her on the spot a bit to show her cards just like i did for her,

Could you give an example?

 

[thinker]

I have posted here many times about the need for guys to get out into the real world and interact with other people. Way too many guys are isolating themselves into not being able to communicate in real life. @corrector you don't have to be a chad to get cashiers, if you look average or even a little bit under average but you are relaxed and confident around women it is basically all you need. Get out and about talk to people in general not just men and women you are interested in but most people and eventually you become socially calibrated. At first it will be a conscious thing and eventually it will become a sub conscious thing that you don't even know that you are doing, in other words you will become a socially calibrated man that can have easy conversations with strangers. This doesn't happen with OLD which is why I think it is a waste of time and I have never done it. Just going about my regular day and doing things I find interesting ( working out , taking a class to learn something knew, going to a restaurant that I have been wanting to eat at) has been what I have always done and has worked well for me.

 

[9-3enthusiast]

Landed a date while out and about today.
I'd just got out of my car after parking in town, she was headed for the ticket machine - We made eye-contact and she immediately looked down sheepishly... so I told her "No need for a ticket, it's free after 2 0'clock"
When she replied "Thanks!" I kept the conversation going a few minutes, was getting a good vibe and long-story-short, we're meeting up for coffee on Tuesday afternoon.
Blonde, quite slim, looked about 40-ish, very feminine-looking flower-print summer dress - Freckled forehead so I suspect her hair may be dyed from red or auburn - hope to find out
I love to be out and about on warm summery days!

Brief update:
It went well - Turns out she's 42, after the cafe went walking in the park across the street.
Some light kissing towards the end - Picking her up Friday evening and going to eat at a place I know that overlooks a nearby beach.

 

[Lookatu]

"Where is the nearest pet shop?"

Old schoolers will be able to pick up on this. Lol

 

[Brassneck]

"Where is the nearest pet shop?"

Ahh the art of the indirect approach.
I think indirect is best with cold approach.

 

[Murk]

Finally someone else who boldly steps out into the real world, using his actual senses instead of dwelling in a basement and parroting that relationships are doomed based on some twisted distortion of reality due to isolation.

I don't get these black pillers. I get that bad experiences happen with the opposite sex, it happens to literally everyone. Black pillers blow it way out of proportion and doom themselves. They are not to be taken seriously, they have a distorted view of reality.

Haha, so true.

People need to start living and stop thinking.

 

[corrector]

Where are the approaches? No updates?

 

[evan12]

There are plenty of women outside, no matter what your type is. But i dont think these women use online dating. OLD is a humiliating joke.

How do you know they are not using OLD ? you are just assuming , because a woman is out on the beach it doesnt mean she is only hunting offline.
Online dating is very active especially for women and hot men.

 

[AttackFormation]

How do you know they are not using OLD ?

Because the overwhelming majority of OLD users are male. And when women want to use the internet over real life, they can hook up with whatever hot men they fancy through social media, they dont need OLD to do it.

 

[9-3enthusiast]

Where are the approaches? No updates?

Update on my previous post:
Friday night went very well - ended up in my bedroom.
We're meeting up this Friday at her place, she's gonna cook. Only lives 6 miles away, it looks like this is gonna become a regular thing.

Oh and found out for sure, she's a natural redhead