Being handsome is not that easy

[Mr. Unique]

Allright, I know being handsome is not such a big deal for girls. Sometimes I think it's even worse than being "normal". And it is the truth that being handsome won't get you laid....your cool, confident, humourus, socially skilled personality will!
When you are handsome you come across many obstacles. Girls are flirting with you openly but only to boost their ego. Other guys envy you and girls think of you as unapprochable. Then there is the sayings, that handsome guys are players, jerks, dumb and so on.
You can be labeled a wussy easily but you can't be too confident either, because all the girls will think, you are confident because of your looks - it works like that in their world.
Therefore you have to tune down the ****y part in ****y&Funny (Confident & Playfull - is much better attitude btw) when flirting and teasing but it's not so powerfull then. I can be way too ****y on on-line chat(without photo; btw it's much better not to use a photo whether you look like movie star or not) with perfect results but in real world it is a disaster.
Challenge is a problem too. You can't be too much of a challenge because you are already a challenge.

Because you look some sort of extreme, you get extreme responses. For example girls can touch your butt passing by or kiss you while their boyfriend is right sitting next to them and he's not aware but when you ask the simple question:
"What is your opinion on something, I need a woman's point of view"
you get :" I don't go out with models." and other examples of cold shoulder based on your looks.

They asume you are the player and nothing is better for their ego then to publicly and I do mean publicly reject you. I've read some posts from guys experiencing similar difficulties and they also mention that they feel they intimidate girls...at least sober ones and I agree with them.

You can't use this line:"Hey do you have a boyfriend and if so is he prettier than me?"....great line for you average looking guys, taken from The Professionals/UK series....thank me later.

Someone said that being handsome is just a foot in the doorway. But getting inside needs other techniques that works for the rest of the guys. This site and many others are made for normal guys and marketing strategy for handsome guys wouldn't work very well - there are not so many of us.

Maybe it is better to date only 10s or gilrs thinking they are 10 (the ones that play ****y&cold out of pure insecurity) - better not brrrrrr. Girls 9+ are imunne to handsome guys and are more confident but sometimes it seems they think handsome guys are too spoiled exactly as they are )

Hey, being handsome is not a tragedy I just need to fine tune my skills and the rest of you can see it's not about the looks
So. Can someone give me (us) some ideas how to deal with these small problems?

How to tune Confident&Playfull.
How to tune Challenge?
and so on...

Daniel from Bohemia (excuse my English)

Yeah you keep telling yourself that.

 

[Bvbidd]

If you want to say your handsome you'd need a picture. You probally look ugly as **** and wonder why no girls seem to show interest.

 

[DanelMadr]

If you want to say your handsome you'd need a picture. You probally look ugly as **** and wonder why no girls seem to show interest.

Are you gay or what, that you need my picture for some... uhm...evil thing?

 

[DanelMadr]

Yeah you keep telling yourself that.

Like what? You mean I make excuses or whinnig? I really don't believe me.

 

[DanelMadr]

Quit being a troll

Troll? What does it mean? If you think I'm some kind of metro-peacock kind of "man"...nope. I thought that's evident in my post.

 

[DanelMadr]

Regardless of your amazing natural looks or not, the art of being a DJ remains the same for the ugly guy or the hot one. And both can land hot, interesting, fun women. So shut the hell up and get out there and practice your DJing. This kind of whining is for AFCs who like making excuses.

As you see it's simply not true - different types of guys need different types of tactics....or no tactic at all in case of attractive ones. I'm not whinning....I'm just not so stuck up thinking I don't need advice.

Don't make a mistake thinking there is DJ or Nothing....there are a few naturals and the rest is alphaman DJ wannabe lying to themselves. Acting can get you killed in the real world.....you can bluff only to a point. Yes through knowledge there is power but don't overestimate it...or you fall all the way down....SMACK. Being able to pick up women is a good skill but it's not all.....you are stroking your ego with false thing.

 

[Charm]

As you see it's simply not true - different types of guys need different types of tactics....or no tactic at all in case of attractive ones. I'm not whinning....I'm just not so stuck up thinking I don't need advice.

Don't make a mistake thinking there is DJ or Nothing....there are a few naturals and the rest is alphaman DJ wannabe lying to themselves. Acting can get you killed in the real world.....you can bluff only to a point. Yes through knowledge there is power but don't overestimate it...or you fall all the way down....SMACK. Being able to pick up women is a good skill but it's not all.....you are stroking your ego with false thing.

Lets see... you are barely a member here for a month and now you are handing out advice. The DJ bible applies to all shapes and sizes of DJs.

 

[DanelMadr]

Lets see... you are barely a member here for a month and now you are handing out advice. The DJ bible applies to all shapes and sizes of DJs.

Are you some kind of fundamentalist? Just like Bible or Koran you can't take it literally. Be sceptic Look, I'm not questioning, you must be confident, well balanced guy who takes/gives no bull****. There is lot of useful information/experience in there BUT for example ****y & funny, challenge and being a PRIZE doesn't work for everybody the way it works for general public as you can read here and in other threads, which I already read and analysed. If you are a fan of Double Your Dating which helped me a lot, you can see 1. There is no info concerning attractive men...only hints 2. DeAngelo himself came to conclusion that it's all more about being a real Man (INNER GAME he calls it)then the tactics around. Lot of DJ goes this way WUSSY - dj - DJ - back to earth. It is true that looks doesn't matter so much and it is also good marketing strategy...remember that....you can't be master of universe just thinking it, it's just psychological trick. I don't mean you stay low...just don't get too high like other egocentric boys - Saddam for example (yeah he got a game...for some time... but he was major c*nt too)

 

[Suckaazzclown]

I feel you bro!

Good looks mean the ladies are more intimidated...

 

[mrRuckus]

Oh geez.. whatever man. Your personality puts off girls not your good looks.

--

And to hell with modesty. Modesty is lieing if you really believe you're good at/in something. Saying "awww i'm not that good" when you're thinking "haha i'm awesome." I'm just very honest. I admit when i think i'm awesome and i admit when i'm atrocious.

But at the same time there's no reason to be talking about yourself in a positive light for you to even really look ****y or full of yourself. You shouldn't be bringing those things up yourself. That's when you look dumb. Every time people are talking and you throw in something good about yourself you look like an ass. You're better off being like "hey that was a good catch" without talking about the behind the back diving catch you made last year trying to one-up someone else. I tend to make fun of myself more than i'd ever pat myself on the back. But not too much because then people will be confused whether you're just joking around or always down on yourself.

I don't even really like being complimented. "You played really well today, mrruckus." "I dropped that one though..."

 

[DanelMadr]

Oh geez.. whatever man. Your personality puts off girls not your good looks.
"

Have you read the comments or the main article? Intimidation and so on...hello. Yeah right it is about personality but You have to "prove" not to be wussy. I have to "prove" I'm not a wussy and I'm not playa, who might humiliate them and so on. read the whole lot, please and try to be a little flexible in terms of DJing.

When you are tall and muscular people expect you to be brave. When there is a fight and you and your thiner, smaller friend chicken out, you will be the chicken. If you fight everything is ok then. If smaller and thinner fights he is a hero.The same with attractive guys...I have to be better then the rest in attracting, romance, sex Got it?

 

[Charm]

I guess you'll just need to step your game up even more then and live up the dreamy fantasy expectations that women set on you due to your looks.

Life's unfair. I guess it's too bad you weren't born an ugly guy but you're stuck being good looking. Sucks but you gotta deal with it!

 

[DanelMadr]

Life's unfair. I guess it's too bad you weren't born an ugly guy but you're stuck being good looking. Sucks but you gotta deal with it!

Huh. It's not that bad just confusing. I'm not complaining, don't get me wrong. Everything has its dark side and this is not so dark afterall.

 

[womenarebiatches]

From my view people tend to have all kinds of different reactions. Positive and negative. Only the negative ones are very extreme. Women and even men try to put you down, from neg-hits to real insults. I try not to take them personally but I always wonder why people have to do this to make them feel better about themselves. Not that I am innocent in this. Although I never do that to strangers, and I have had experiences where even strangers try to manipulate me.

When going out with friends:
Always women come to stand near me checking me out, they will talk about and laugh about you with their friends. The attention *****s will disrespect you play mindgames etc.
The more unnatractrive, cq ugly women will always come talk, sometimes a beauty, but always the slutty ones that I don't want. They always want to know things about you that can be irritating.

When talking to a lady others always watch your moves, I know I am being watched constantly it sometimes can be annoying because I don't always want to get in the centre of attention.

With men also very negative extremes. I know of this time when some big bloke called me a gay when I walked past. Yes I also have had gay men going after me now that **** is something you really don't want. Also some guy tried to pull me in the mud at some outdoor houseparty for no reason. I really got pissed because he wasn't joking and he let me go fortunately. And a few others that I rather keep for myself because they are just fked up.

But also with dating women it can be a hard time. Yes women always ****test, play mindgames to make you feel bad about yourself it's so predictable. I have dated a lot of women and tried various things on various situations to see what works. Really it's not hard for me to get a phone number or a date but somehow I can never keep them for a long term relationship. Something always goes wrong.

 

[DanelMadr]

From my view people tend to have all kinds of different reactions. Positive and negative. Only the negative ones are very extreme. Women and even men try to put you down, from neg-hits to real insults. I try not to take them personally but I always wonder why people have to do this to make them feel better about themselves. Not that I am innocent in this. Although I never do that to strangers, and I have had experiences where even strangers try to manipulate me.

With men also very negative extremes. I know of this time when some big bloke called me a gay when I walked past. Yes I also have had gay men going after me now that **** is something you really don't want. Also some guy tried to pull me in the mud at some outdoor houseparty for no reason. I really got pissed because he wasn't joking and he let me go fortunately. And a few others that I rather keep for myself because they are just fked up.

Yeah I know what you mean. To prove themselves, people like to fight or put down people with higher status (taller, smarter, better looking ect). I am almost 6f4 tall and still some suicide boys try to push me around, maybe thinkink pretty face won't be that tough....BIIIG mistake You can sometimes deliberately put on pink shirt to spark some fight and train your left hook

Always women come to stand near me checking me out, they will talk about and laugh about you with their friends. The attention *****s will disrespect you play mindgames etc.
The more unnatractrive, cq ugly women will always come talk, sometimes a beauty, but always the slutty ones that I don't want. They always want to know things about you that can be irritating.

I know it is confusing that some approach you and some behave rude but hear my advice....don't look for approval....take initiative yourself, they want you to. If they are cheeky be cheeky too. Don't let them knock you out of balance - they try it to know if you are insecure or rude (mindgame=they want you). Be the one who leads them through the experience.
Slutty ones, if not nut cases are only very honest persons to themselves and to you too. Don't let them use you (heh) be stronger - more sexually aware.

When talking to a lady others always watch your moves, I know I am being watched constantly it sometimes can be annoying because I don't always want to get in the centre of attention.

Don't get paranoid here. So what. You can't pick your nose or what? Fak'em.

But also with dating women it can be a hard time. Yes women always ****test, play mindgames to make you feel bad about yourself it's so predictable. I have dated a lot of women and tried various things on various situations to see what works. Really it's not hard for me to get a phone number or a date but somehow I can never keep them for a long term relationship. Something always goes wrong.

They only want to know if they can make you feel bad about yourself - hence if they have power over you which they hate Read this http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=100670

 

[Archaxis]

Mabye your ugly?

Are you sure your all that hot? Your probally just ugly and think your hot.

Hot guys get hot girls.

I wouldn't say so, girls who do have something to say typically shower me with praise, it's just not that often. I suppose you can judge for yourself... as much as a hetro guy can (I know I can't):

http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h85/Archaxis/Me05.jpg

There's also the fact that I've gone out with a number of girls who had modeling porfoilios, not full time professionals, but ones good looking enough to get that type of work. HB 8's and 9's, I suppose you guys would say. So, I've had a few really hot girls, I just don't get hit on, or eyed all that much, IMO.

 

[WhAcKeD!]

Cut your hair bro, not to sound gay or anything, but you have a more box type face and long hair doesn't fit it as well as short does.

 

[Archaxis]

Cut your hair bro, not to sound gay or anything, but you have a more box type face and long hair doesn't fit it as well as short does.

Well, for one... while I do have very angular, manly features, my face isn't quite as boxy as it appears in that photo for some reason.

And, two, I'll cut my hair the same week I sell my guitars and start listening to hip hop. :crackup: I don't always wear it down like that... sometimes it's back in a ponytail (for work mostly) or occasionally tucked up under a beenie. In fact, experimenting around it it, I get notabily LESS female attention when I look like a short haired guy wearing a beenie, than when it's down.

 

[DanelMadr]

http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h85/Archaxis/Me05.jpg[/url]

Posting pictures is considered gay and narcistic. Please don't do it. The most handsome guy is still uglier then most of the girls.

Its not the looks but MOJO anyway.

 

[OfficeSpace]

I totally agree with DanelMadr! Having looks AND game does make women look at you as a player.. Using ****y and funny makes you come across as an *******.

Personally, all I have done that has worked succesfully is just flirt.. number close.. and go from there.

Since we have looks it's much easier. The only thing holding us back is girls thinking we're ******* or players... As long as we don't act needy and we're confident, we'll do fine guys!

I've had a lot of girls that were clearly into me tell me some crap like, "Looks don't matter to me... I only care about personality." I'm thinkin to myself yeah right, that's bs. You are just trying to remove my looks card so you can get an edge over me and you'll do the qualifying.. guess what, not gonna happen.