Being Bitter.

[Rebound Material]

My overall bitterness kinda snowballed now that I think about it...I first came to this site to improve my chances with chicks, but what I was mainly looking for was emotional control(Just like an AFC I have the tendency to fall in 'love' in a matter of seconds). When I finally found the article about emotional control, it suggested the book "The 7 habits of highly effective people" and there it basically states that love doesnt exist(as an emotion that is)...Of course like most people, I was a believer of love and that one day I will be happily in love with someone THE END...From there I was just convinced more and more each day that love didnt exist: Majority of divorces are about MONEY, 80% of recorded married couples have cheated on eachother(and thats just the recorded couples), chicks really look for STATUS and MONEY, chicks leave their husbands for guys that apparently have more MONEY or higher status and the list goes on. As I thought about those facts I asked myself "so where the hell did love come in in the first place between these people?!". I concluded that, it was all purely shallow and there was nothing genuinly deep about relationships. I guess in my search for emotional control, I delved into something far deeper and that I kinda regret learning. Thats what made me bitter and currently cynical.

 

[( . )( . )]

"Bitterness" seems to be the second phase alot of guys enter soon after the disease of AFCism is acknowledged , then acceptance if theyre lucky.

It's like a cat clawing your furniture, the dudes stuck in 2nd phase are angry at the cat, the dudes at the level of acceptance realise its in the cats nature.

But AFC's easily confuse the two.

2nd phase guy: Those cats will fvck your furniture. (He thinks its personal)

3rd phase guy: Those cats will fvck your furniture. (He knows its nature)

2nd phase guy: Fvckin cats.

3rd phase guy: Get a scratching pole.

 

[AlekNovi]

I didn't read thread, might be repeating.

That's only a stage you go thru. It's actually a mandatory stage you go thru on your journey to becoming a don juan.

Every single guy has gone thru it. It's no wrong. It's only wrong to get stuck at that stage.

When you get more advanced you tend to shift your reality and see women as these poor, poor shy girls, who are confused, misled, insecure, and desperately seeking love... in all the wrong ways.

You develop compassion... and oddly enough never ever again notice any "*****es", "*****s", "sluts", "girls ripping AFC's heart out"... ever again. You just don't see it anymore. Did the girls change? No you did

Just have this in mind, it's a phase and you go past it. Just make sure you go past it and don't accept it as final reality.

 

[DJinTraining06]

When you get more advanced you tend to shift your reality and see women as these poor, poor shy girls, who are confused, misled, insecure, and desperately seeking love... in all the wrong ways.

You develop compassion... and oddly enough never ever again notice any "*****es", "*****s", "sluts", "girls ripping AFC's heart out"... ever again. You just don't see it anymore. Did the girls change? No you did

That's interesting made me thinkm but don't u ever think hey these girls r spoiled brats who were raised bad? I dunno i just hate the way some girls were raised to think "i am woman hear me roar" and all that. Like cuz they r a woman they don't have to be accountable for their actions. My father used to get mad at my sister for goin out with guys for a long time and dumping them when she got tired of em. He told her thats not right, u should date more casually if ur not sure. I think my sister was raised right. I dont see that with alot of girls, they have no regard for the guys, its all about them. But i dunno is it insecurity like u said, or is it poor values? Hope its what u said.

 

[mrRuckus]

People will treat you the way that you allow them to treat you and no one ever said that you have to sit around being a victim and that's what I bet you're doing, and it's making you frustrated and bitter. Let people know when they crossing boundaries with you or better yet, why not be more selective?

It has nothing to do with selection. Most people suck from the very start. And I DON'T let people respect me. The thing that gets me is that I shouldn't even have to MAKE people respect me or at the very least not be rude. Our society should demand it from the very start. I'm not rude to strangers so why is everyone else? People are broken!

So my point is that it's not that i'm not selective. It's that there is hardly anything to select from.

Here's what the choices normally come down to.

1. green poop
2. brown poop
3. black poop

I don't want any poop. I want selection number 4.

4. big rare steak with broccoli and more steak on the side.

only number 4 is usually out of stock so i either have to have sex with poop (like skip2mylou781 with his 50,003 myspace *****s) or just stay home and watch star wars or something which is usually more enjoyable than talking to poop with babies and no degrees (or worse, degrees in communications or psychology so they think they're so smart and wise) all night at some bar or wherever.

So my question is why hang around women who make you feel this way?

I don't. I just gave an example where I tore into a girl disrespecting me by being flaky when she was supposed to be a friend, and I was walking away and done until she completely cleaned up her act when she realized she wasn't dealing with some pushover she can safely keep on the backburner. Maybe I should've just shrugged it off and moved on without a word, but oh well.

I also blocked the ex on aim without a word and haven't talked to her in weeks because she started to be a little sh1t with all her jealousy crap and meddling with the new girls I talk to.

If you go into public you gotta deal with all the bullsh1t just to be able to find the 1 in 1000 that isn't crazy, rude, illiterate, has babies, etc, or all of the above.

And then if you do move on, why hold on to the negative emotions from that person? We talk about how bad it is when women carry along baggage from relationship to relationship, it's even worse when a guy does it.

WTF why is it even worse when a guy does it? Why are you infantalizing females? First they're not responsible that they act the way they do (because they're bears) now they're less responsible than men for doing the same actions? That's crazy talk!

Am I just dreaming but in the "good old days" weren't we a lot more expecting of women? Like being polite and doing hard work and not dressing like wh0res?

I think it was David Deangelo who said that whenever he was talking to a woman and something comes up about some problem in his life he would say "Nothing that I can't handle." What did he mean by that? He meant that he was confident in himself enough to be able to handle whatever life might throw at him. That confidence alone is way more alluring to women than a guy that's filled with bitterness. C'mon, isn't that the definition of a average frustrated chump

You know.. I remember that clearly. And i think about it from time to time. And that's what i say to women almost verbatim. Just because from time to time I'm bitter it doesn't mean I walk around town with it on my sleeve.

Women don't even appreciate a real man anymore. AFCs and feminists are bastardizing the whole thing. Have you ever gotten from a girl "why don't you do this and this and this" and you give your reasoning and they're like "well so and so does this" (names some boy who does afc sh1t like plans picnics even tho his gf treats him like dirt and generally kisses female ass)... i'm left like who cares what that AFC does - he's wrong. So when you are doing the RIGHT thing you are getting blamed for it because everyone is used to men nowadays being little b1tches, supplicating, and generally being AFC. It's the equivalent of the guy in class who reminds the teacher he didn't give homework. He ruins it for the rest of us.

Here's a question for anyone, what are you accomplishing from being bitter? What are you getting out of it? Does it help you pick up women? Does it help you do better at work, school, sports? Would you date a woman who is bitter?

I'm not accomplishing sh1t other than venting. Bitterness comes and goes. It's natural. I really don't mean to give the impression that i'm bittered old hag of a man. My eyes are just opened to the fact that most women are trash and that it sucks having to be a poor Mexican child who digs through garbage at the dump just so i can find something nice (not intended to be offensive for you easily offended folks). And yeah i'm not perfect and it bitters me sometimes. It's not the end of the world though. Nothing i can't handle!

You keep acting as if it's a choice and haven't really shown that it is. If bitterness/anger/whatever is a choice why isn't every other emotion? So if i have diarrhea is it my choice that it doesn't make me extremely happy? Should I whistle a tune while I sit on the pot?

And maybe the feeling of bitterness can be conquered in men but i'm not even sure it should be because that's a great motivator. I'm not just going to lay idle while everyone sucks everything up. I'm going to improve and improve and one day if the awesome girl is lucky she'll meet me, I'll spot awesome, and i'll have made myself awesome so she'll stick around.


toodles

 

[mrRuckus]

"Bitterness" seems to be the second phase alot of guys enter soon after the disease of AFCism is acknowledged , then acceptance if theyre lucky.

It's like a cat clawing your furniture, the dudes stuck in 2nd phase are angry at the cat, the dudes at the level of acceptance realise its in the cats nature.

You have some of the best posts on this board.

I don't think women are cats though. They're not to be reduced to animals. They're not that bad.

A lot of their behavior is societally induced and they didn't used to act the way they are nowadays. They very often do what they do by choice because they think they can get away with it. And they usually do because everyone lets them.

So here they come along and think they can do all the same sh1t to you (a non-AFC) and you're expected to do all this work putting them in their place when they shouldn't be doing that crap to begin with if they were just raised properly not to be rude b1tches with babies at 16.

And it is choice because there's a number of women that aren't worthless. But few. Unless they were just blessed genetically not to suck, which i doubt.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It has nothing to do with selection. Most people suck from the very start.

If that is what you expect from people, that is exactly what you will find; nothing more. Consider adjusting your perspective, you may be surprised. Besides, just venting will get you only so far.

 

[mrRuckus]

You develop compassion... and oddly enough never ever again notice any "*****es", "*****s", "sluts", "girls ripping AFC's heart out"... ever again. You just don't see it anymore. Did the girls change? No you did

Ha! Compassion!

If I painstakingly go through so much work to improve myself i'm damn well going to sit on my ivory tower looking down on the peons who never bothered to become anybody.

Compassion, my ass. No one has/had compassion for me when I was a nobody.

 

[mrRuckus]

If that is what you expect from people, that is exactly what you will find; nothing more.

What? If i expect everyone to be super nice and sexy will that be all i find; nothing more?

That sounds like one of those happy feel good statements that doesn't mean anything in the end.

 

[mrRuckus]

That's interesting made me thinkm but don't u ever think hey these girls r spoiled brats who were raised bad? I dunno i just hate the way some girls were raised to think "i am woman hear me roar" .

I have a female friend who is proud that she's "a man stuck in a woman's body." Seriously. She thinks this is a good thing. She tries to act all tough and everything and shuns everything feminine.

Except clothes and make up and letting her breasts hang out to get attention from guys. Then she'll get a man and try to be the man of the relationship except for the parts that aren't fun. Those are the "real man's job," of course. And thinks acting the least bit the female is somehow degrading. pfft who wants to date a man with breasts?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

What? If i expect everyone to be super nice and sexy will that be all i find; nothing more?

That sounds like one of those happy feel good statements that doesn't mean anything in the end.

It means not arbitrarily using labels to define people or experiences you have yet to encounter. To not define your future experiences by your past. Expectations are like stereotypes, they may hold truth but they are far from absolute. Why polarize your beliefs when there is so much ambiguity in between?

 

[dohta]

Guys are bitter because some of us have been brainwashed by too many fairy tales. Some want to date only virgins and are disappointed to find that there are hardly any in this world after a certain age.

 

[Bvbidd]

They lose they're virginity to somebody and unless your 40. You can still be that guy.

Not to a hot hot chick though, they all lose it at like 11.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Typically people become bitter when expectations aren't met. Expectations always have a chance of not working out because of their nature; one person believe a certain thing should happen and the other person either doesn't know of this belief or they don't believe it themselves. Personally I avoid expectations and make sure that I focus on well communicated agreements to avoid any ambiguity. You know up front whether the person is on the same page as you and if they aren't you can act accordingly to whatever you'd like to achieve. No surprises.

 

[Cpt Caveman]

You guys need to stop, take a deep breath and listen to Francisco. He's giving out some grade A advice.

Also a lot of people tend to base their beliefs on only a handful of experiences. Unless one has hit on and interacted with hundreds of different girls you can't even begin to come to any kind of conclusion about them. Look at the big picture.

 

[izza]

I'm bitter because i think the majority of women are broken. The more I look around the more dismayed i get by the number of women with deal-breaking issues. And i don't think i'm too harsh. All i ask for is respect and compromise.

My friend, the majority of humans are broken, and that is a sad fact.