Being Bitter.

[S.S.N. 318]

re-up.....once again......

 

[DJinTraining06]

I think some bitterness might be attributed to guys here who will only go after women who look like the chicks in the porn that they whack off to. Its a self destructive spiral.

Theres no room for hate or bitterness. Accepting other peoples fauts is just part off being human.

Women are not evil, and getting rejected by supermodel looking chicks doesn't make them evil either.

Well i just wanna say i dont go after supermodels, i go after girls on my level, cute girls thats all. And i have been getting bitter because i find they all lie and play games like little teenagers, and their in their mid 20's. And when u confront them about it they don't apologize, they usually dont even admit it. In fact they go so far in denying them that they point out my faults as their reason why thigns didnt work, and not just that they lost interest, cheated, were leadin on to begin with etc etc. Now i know ur gonan say guys lie too, but i find i know alot more trustworthy good guys then girls. Maybe im just a rare honest guy but i feel at least when guys lie, we fes up to it. At least us nice guys do, not the playas.

 

[DJinTraining06]

I actually liked Francisco's post this time, as a guy who's been through the bitterness many many times before..

I mean, I'd think women were b!tches with no souls but had the same negative thoughts about everything else too, and belived that all people were inheritly evil and pretended not to be for their own benefit. So I guess that was an innate personal issue.

I mean even Pook talked of this stuff, as like these black holes and sh!t he wouldn't philosophize or even want to think about because it's not worth it and gives you a bad outlook. Even if he could logically prove it. It might be an innate issue even wanting to 'prove' such negative things about life.

And I know most of us are the product of heartbreak, it just makes you stop and wonder though..
What the hell did we do to deserve it? If it was because of our own inabilty to be 'good enough' for her etc, then they really would all be b!tches logically right? Uncabable of understanding another human being's pain.. but that's not really the case.

wats the case then? Our society is raising little selfish spoiled brat girls. they get wat they want emotionally no matter wat. And they r not taught that leading guys on or treatign them like crap is wrong at all. they feel women r princesses and they owe nobody noithing.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Ruckus that was one of the best posts ive read in a long time. The part about callin them out for what they do wrong, and they get mad at u. I think every guy can relate to that infuriating situation. They can do just about anything wrong but if u show any dispelausre about it, ur a horrible person for getitng mad and not accepting their awful behavior. it's so true, they suck u in with this sweet bullsh*t and then they treat u like a doormat. It's like why even bother anymore. I cant find myself gettin excited bout realtionships anymore, cuz they just end in heartache 6 months- 1 yr down the line. Women use the sh*t outta u and then go on to the next victim. They turn on us so fast its like wtf happened? My ex dumped me for no reason , i called her the next day and she was talkin to me like i was some guy she knew 30 yrs ago. i dunno if women were alwasy like this or its todays society teachin them that they r princesses but it pisses me off.






rant over [/QUOTE]

 

[Bvbidd]

wats the case then? Our society is raising little selfish spoiled brat girls. they get wat they want emotionally no matter wat. And they r not taught that leading guys on or treatign them like crap is wrong at all. they feel women r princesses and they owe nobody noithing.

Mabye they do those things because they think it's a good thing to do?

Most chicks think they are being nice when they lead a guy on.

We all got a little bit of evil in us, it's human.

You also got to remember is that since girls get sex so easily, they're lives are a little different and probally would never even stop to think about morality, or debate good and evil. They're too busy being stupid and having fun. Hating them and being bitter about that seems like it would be projecting some personal issue.

 

[DJinTraining06]

The bitterness comes from many of us just wanting to be ourselves (good nice guy ie AFC) and be honest with women, express our love for them and get that love back in return but because that purity of love usually doesn't work and we get burned then have to use the DJ tools and tips to get great and lasting success when our pure love didn't work it creates a general bitterness or cynicism towards women and the world in general in us.

Its not love but games that gets us the women we want and that re-inforces the cold cruel unfair nature of things on this planet.

In a perfect world we could be AFC's or whatever our true self is and be accepted and treated with respect and love by women and not have to be DJ's or create the aura of being strong ie alpha to achieve that end.

So again any bitterness I believe comes from learning that the secret to success is games and plenty of them too late after much heartbreak on our part over the years or the bitterness of realizing your love is not enough to capture some woman's heart.

You have to be a little fake. You have to play games.

That sickens me and I think it sickens everyone else here or at least just about everyone here but hey it works so run with it.

Dude u hit the nail on the head their, perfect post. i couldnt verbalzie that but def wat i have been thinking. i get the girls looking good, actign like an alpha, then i trust the girls and get comfortable with them like they get with me and i open up and be myself, reveal some weakness, some flaws, some things that bother me. And they turn on me before i can blink and usualy have some bs excue to explain why they wanna end it. So u r correct i think, cuz its the bitter realization that we realize we cant be ourselves and have the women we want. its a bitter pill to swallow and accepting it makes us bitter. Guess theres no choice but to be fake and never ever le tur guard down.

 

[Bvbidd]

You can make that bitter realization on just about anything though. In the end, it's your choice to live or die and being bitter seems to be the latter.

 

[Mr_knowit_all]

I think Francisco gives some good advice, but the fundamental flaw in his reasoning is that if something goes wrong with your relationships, it's something we're not doing right as a man.

I've got news for you: Sometimes you can do everything right, and it still doesn't work out. I'm not saying we're not responsible for our lot in life, but I think you put too heavy of a burden on the shoulders of men. If a woman fools you into thinking she's a great person, while secretly harboring a huge character flaw, perhaps it's not our fault, but hers.

It's great to take responsibility, and not be bitter. But let us place the blame where it belongs.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Just a point of clarification, I wasn't referencing who was at fault in failed relationship; both people usually have something to do with it. Bitterness is completely under a person's control. No matter what happens in your live, you have control of how you react to it. People choose their various reactions because its a pay off for them in some way.


What you said about responsibility is true but none the less both people have some accountability in what happens in a relationship. Even if the woman's actions are at fault, it's the guy who chose to be with her in the first place. Live and learn; like the saying goes Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

None the less, bitterness prevents you from seeing situations objectively. It limits a person's ability to find viable solutions to situations; it's confining.

 

[DJinTraining06]

There's one thing i don't get about this whole being bitter discussion. Alot of u guys talk about "being bitter" as if its a choice (a noun)
Isn't bitter an an emotion? (an adjective describing how u feel)

We don't choose to be bitter, we're bitter cuz we were hurt and it feels bad. We get bitter when were feeling really down about the hard times we expereinced. Who on earth chooses to feel down? I know i certainly don't. I love it so much more when im in a great mood and feeling confident and happy about myself and women. 2 weeks ago i thought i found the greatest girl around, but it didnt work out, and now im feelin bitter bout it cuz i feel like i got lead on a little. I dont wanna be bitter, i just am.

Personally i agree with an earlier poster that being bitter is a product of not getting wat we want in our lives. its kinda hard to say oh dont waste ur time being bitter. But that's what im feelin how do i stop myself from having that emotion? If i knew a way i would. I am still goin to the gym,eating good, self improving and trying to meet chicks, but i feel like i am jaded and bitter about life alot these days. My ex gf dumping me caused alot of that. Id be hapy to not be bitter.

 

[resilient]

DJinT, bitterness is a feeling yes, but we do have a choice if we want to suffer longer than necessary. We could be masochist and complain about being wronged and dumped for loving too much or making AFC moves, or we could take the lessons we learned from the last relationship and use those scars to build a higher sense of self-worth.

Rebuilding that self-esteem and intuition so we can perceive what we can and what we can do without from a woman in a relationship. That way we don't have to worry about falling for women that are emotionally unhealthy for us.

In reality, I believe it comes down to a matter of self-respect. Our egos are bruised and we want emotional validation for our wounded pride; hence bitterness.

If we respected ourselves first and stood up to women's tests - we would have stronger esteems and sense of self-worth. We would know we can't be cut down as a tree so easily.

We, as men shouldn't have to put up with nagging and control freaks. We could save us a lot of this bitterness and heartache if we had the self-respect to walk away from that which does us more emotional harm in the long term. Instead of letting her drag it out by leading us on while her interest level in us plumits below 49%.

I like what the the above poster said, she's being nice to us to leasing the relationship more time while she finds a stronger challenge replacement.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

There's one thing i don't get about this whole being bitter discussion. Alot of u guys talk about "being bitter" as if its a choice (a noun)
Isn't bitter an an emotion? (an adjective describing how u feel).

However the bitterness that a person feels is a noun. Semantics aside, it is a feeling and feelings are controllable. They're controllable because they are a personal product of an experience. We have control over these products.

As children we feared the dark. As adolescents video games made us happy. As young adults we got angry when we couldn't get into a particular club because we were underage. As adults we are angry because of a myriad of different things. The fact is, we can allow these experiences to control our feelings or we can control them ourselves.

People choose to be bitter because it's their prolonged justification for their anger about something. They've decided to prolong the anger, not to move beyond it to other things. That prolong anger festers into bitterness. The bitterness allows to spew about the injustice that they've gone through. That's usually a lot easier than putting the anger aside and moving on.

People love to use the path of least resistance. Anger and bitterness are two emotions that take little effort to create. They're easily sustainable. It's much easier rehashing the past than stepping forward into new endeavors, especially if someone is wary of reliving that same experience again.

Until people realize that they don't need to haphazardly react to every experience in a predefined manner, they will continue to feel that they have no control over themselves, that their feelings are the fault of others. That they have given their control of their emotions to others (women) to do with as they please. That in itself will make most people bitter.

 

[mrRuckus]

People choose to be bitter because it's their prolonged justification for their anger about something. They've decided to prolong the anger, not to move beyond it to other things. That prolong anger festers into bitterness. The bitterness allows to spew about the injustice that they've gone through. That's usually a lot easier than putting the anger aside and moving on.

Why should the anger go away if the problem continues to forever exist?

I'm just supposed to accept bullsh1t and have a big sh1t eating grin when girls are fvcking retarded? "oh she's just a bear. oh well! can't blame a bear for being a bear!" To hell with that.. we allow bears to be bears because they lack intelligence. Women have intelligence. They just don't care and no one holds them accountable so they keep on doing it.

And i'm not even complaining about that. I don't have much problem with how women treat me because I don't let them treat me poorly. Though I do have a problem how many initially try to treat me before they know me/like me as if it's okay to treat strangers like sh1t.


I had an experience about 2 weeks ago where this girl kept being flaky on me but would want to talk to me all the time but if i asked her to hang out she'd just avoid the question completely. Eventually I just got fed up because she was supposed to be a friend and i just started calling her rude and every time she tried to have an excuse i'd just be like "Fvck that you were rude regardless. Someone asks you a question you answer them in some way, shape or form or it's RUDE. I'm not some child that can't take rejection. I expect a yes or no - either one is FINE."

I mean really... if you can't go out because you already have plans at least ANSWER. What kind of crazy bullsh1t is "i couldn't go so i didn't answer." WTF?

Guess who is chasing who now. Guess who is having lunch with me during my lunch break wednesday. Guess who is coming over sunday. Stupid women need me to flip out and yell at them for their nonsense before they act the least bit respectful? Parents are FAILING raising little brats who turn into 20 and 30 year old brats. People used to have some form of manners.

Why do you need women?

Oh get off your high horse. Why do I need to play sports with my friends? Why do i need ANYTHING? Why don't i just kill myself and be done with the nonsense? Why don't I just live in a cave since I don't NEED anyone?

Philosophical nonsense. I need women because i'm a man and i'm biologically programmed to crave them. I stopped having sex with my fvck buddy and i'm used to having sex near daily and now it's been a few weeks and lo and behold i'm having some sort of dream where i'm having sex with some girl somewhere somehow every night. I don't have these dreams when i'm getting laid. Body is telling me something. "go get laid, stupid. that's what guys do."

I need friends because i'm biologically programmed to want human contact. And no i'm not becoming some monk that meditates my wants away. God, this is like choosing not to be gay. Or choosing not to be black anymore.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

People will treat you the way that you allow them to treat you and no one ever said that you have to sit around being a victim and that's what I bet you're doing, and it's making you frustrated and bitter. Let people know when they crossing boundaries with you or better yet, why not be more selective?

So my question is why hang around women who make you feel this way? And then if you do move on, why hold on to the negative emotions from that person? We talk about how bad it is when women carry along baggage from relationship to relationship, it's even worse when a guy does it.

I think it was David Deangelo who said that whenever he was talking to a woman and something comes up about some problem in his life he would say "Nothing that I can't handle." What did he mean by that? He meant that he was confident in himself enough to be able to handle whatever life might throw at him. That confidence alone is way more alluring to women than a guy that's filled with bitterness. C'mon, isn't that the definition of a average frustrated chump?

Here's a question for anyone, what are you accomplishing from being bitter? What are you getting out of it? Does it help you pick up women? Does it help you do better at work, school, sports? Would you date a woman who is bitter?

 

[Tazman]

Actually, bitterness did make me better able to deal with women. I can't pretend like me and most of my friends have just had bad luck with them. There's definitely "something" going on with them that makes them behave the way they do. I'm not sexually interested in the women in my family, but I can't deny the games I've witnessed them play on guys as well. I love them, and they do have good hearts, but that **** doesn't apply when it comes to sexual relationships.

I'd laugh to myself when I hear the stuff they say about guys they know and I wish I could somehow contact the guys and give them some advice, because I've been enlightened to the ways of women. I can enjoy their company just as anyone else can, but because I know their "nature" I adjust myself so I deal with as little BS as possible. If it weren't for sex I could honestly care less about them, but then you can't really imagine that because life wouldn't exist without it.

The thing that I really find hilarious is that you actually get points for being selfish!! I mean you have to bend sometimes but they really do eat it up when you do your own thing, lol, they have some kind of addiction to complaining about what you don't do, so they can make an on-going project out of trying to break you down. The more you resist the more they love you for it!

You should have seen the grin on my face when I got my first piece of ass (which wasn't that long ago). Here I am making such a big deal out of not being experienced and come to find out it didn't even matter. I basically did what I wanted with her body and she pretty much got herself off. It's like the guys who **** em and leave em, you think they worry about "pleasing" the women? I've realized that even the sex is a big head game.

 

[Rebound Material]

The bitterness actually has nothing to do with women (yet they are the scape goats). It's actually some type of inner turmoil that these guys are having. Their lack of success or choosing of the wrong type of woman are just symptoms of a innate personal issue.

THIS IS SO ME .

 

[Rebound Material]

Women are the only things that can get mad at you for calling them out for something they admittedly did that is wrong.

I couldnt help but notice how true this was...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...I'd laugh to myself when I hear the stuff they say about guys they know and I wish I could somehow contact the guys and give them some advice, because I've been enlightened to the ways of women. I can enjoy their company just as anyone else can, but because I know their "nature" I adjust myself so I deal with as little BS as possible. If it weren't for sex I could honestly care less about them, but then you can't really imagine that because life wouldn't exist without it. .....

This is what you miss when you stay bitter. You're so busy being angry you miss out on understanding what happened and what you need to do to handle the situation in the future. It allows you to have more control over the situation.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

THIS IS SO ME .

I surprises most guys of how their situations change once they deal with their internal issues. It's like getting over a bad case of the flu, you expel the bad stuff, you heal and you feel even better than before afterward.

 

[DJinTraining06]

The only thing that ends my bitterness is when i am successful with a new woman. Once that goes down the tubes, im bitter again. I think we've all been raised to think were gonan live happily ever after with the woman of our dreams, marry her,etc. etc. and shes gonna be our soulmate and all that crap.
I dont think thats what we should be looking forward to anymore. I think buddhists have it right, or is it hindus i forget. the religion that says not to look forward to anythign, so ur never dissapointed. Im sure im not phrasing that correctly but watever. I think they may have something. I meet a girl im crazy about and it seems tis goin great and i set myself up for huge dissapointment. Its not worht it. I think from now on im gonna just improve myself, and not hope that i get girls, but jsut be happy if i do. soemone on here said they should be a bonus and thats all, i think thats smart.