Being a Man

[Interceptor]

His post just sounds a lot liek all the other posts I've seen...you know the ones...posts complaining that there's too many posts complaining.

I don't know about you, but I know that people come to this forum to ask for advice or get some feedback on a certain problem they have,. The purpose of the site is to be a resource for men who have problems, NOT Successes with women, dating, and life in general, so they come here for some guidance.
They come here to be eductaed, and take action with whatever advice may be given, in addition to the knowledge (say, the Book of Pook) they have gained and put into practice in their daily life.

I don't see the point of this guy's post.

"Be a Man." We now this already. We're trying to provide a bridge form Point A to Point B.
We're dispensing advice on how to be a Man.

What is he doing?

Compaining about it, it seems.


If one is already Self Realized, Self Actualized, so far ahead of the "pack". then what are you doing on this site??

Complaining.


I guess if you don't like it you can always go to LoveShack.

Anyway, I don't take seriously anyone who says anything so generic as "men don' give a f*k, men don't cry, men don't get emotional." Total sophomoric bullsh*t.
Childish, really.
I do agree that men shoudln't act like women.

I will give you a scenario. Your beloved wife of 25 years is in the hospital with cancer. Incurable. Your beautiful children standing there crying looking at their mom who's going to die.Think about that one.

REAL Men will cry, they will give a Fvck, they will be emotional, because they feel the emotions of sadness, grief, sorrow, etc. Because they're Human.
Will they show it to their wife? Maybe, maybe not. That's personal choice. And you , nor I, nor anyone else on this God Blessed planet of ours has the RIGHT to condemn him or judge him for doing so.

Now if you're talking about a sociopathic , self centered arrogant bastard, well then I see your case.
But I don't subscribe to that "ideal". It seems you do.
However, there's a problem when you make a post with the intention of dictating, and condescending others. Especially with no strategies to cope or overcome the challenges we face here.

Anyway,I'm out too. I'm with joekerr, who gets my respect ten times more than you do.

 

[MikeYikes122]

"Fear is your best friend or your worst enemy. It's like fire. If you can control it, it can cook for you; it can heat your house. If you can't control it, it will burn everything around you and destroy you. If you can control your fear, it makes you more alert, like a deer coming across the lawn."
-Mike Tyson

I wish I could have seen him say this. I bet that was hilarious.

 

[joekerr31]

great post intercept!

this is why i say the poster has to be like 17 or something. and probably blessed to have had no hardships in life and thinks all you have to do is mimic wesley snipes or chuck norris and then you'll be a 'man'.

and thank you for pointing out this guys circular logic.

'i'm complaining that im sick and tire of you guys complaining. if all you have to do is complain then you shouldn't be here. which is why im here, to complain."

sounds like a f*cking woman.

 

[bigjohnson]

You're all just a bunch of haters, admit it ......

 

[Interceptor]

No, we just don't like you.

 

[bigjohnson]

Well sure, of course, that goes almost without saying.

 

[Interceptor]

:crackup:

 

[guru1000]

His post just sounds a lot liek all the other posts I've seen...you know the ones...posts complaining that there's too many posts complaining.

I don't know about you, but I know that people come to this forum to ask for advice or get some feedback on a certain problem they have,. The purpose of the site is to be a resource for men who have problems, NOT Successes with women, dating, and life in general, so they come here for some guidance.
They come here to be eductaed, and take action with whatever advice may be given, in addition to the knowledge (say, the Book of Pook) they have gained and put into practice in their daily life.

I don't see the point of this guy's post.

"Be a Man." We now this already. We're trying to provide a bridge form Point A to Point B.
We're dispensing advice on how to be a Man.

What is he doing?

Compaining about it, it seems.


If one is already Self Realized, Self Actualized, so far ahead of the "pack". then what are you doing on this site??

Complaining.


I guess if you don't like it you can always go to LoveShack.

Anyway, I don't take seriously anyone who says anything so generic as "men don' give a f*k, men don't cry, men don't get emotional." Total sophomoric bullsh*t.
Childish, really.
I do agree that men shoudln't act like women.

I will give you a scenario. Your beloved wife of 25 years is in the hospital with cancer. Incurable. Your beautiful children standing there crying looking at their mom who's going to die.Think about that one.

REAL Men will cry, they will give a Fvck, they will be emotional, because they feel the emotions of sadness, grief, sorrow, etc. Because they're Human.
Will they show it to their wife? Maybe, maybe not. That's personal choice. And you , nor I, nor anyone else on this God Blessed planet of ours has the RIGHT to condemn him or judge him for doing so.

Now if you're talking about a sociopathic , self centered arrogant bastard, well then I see your case.
But I don't subscribe to that "ideal". It seems you do.
However, there's a problem when you make a post with the intention of dictating, and condescending others. Especially with no strategies to cope or overcome the challenges we face here.

Anyway,I'm out too. I'm with joekerr, who gets my respect ten times more than you do.

You missed the foundation of the post. Both you and Joekker. You are too focused on the words rather than the meaning. I dont need your approval or respect. Maybe Joeker needs that as it gives him meaning. Fact of the matter is if this message is repeated, then why practice strategies? Practice internal belief system change. If you get the mesage great, What are you going to do about it? If you are here to so called "Preach and Teach", Learn the right way first. Techniques dont last, internal beliefs do. I dont need a following in a DJ Forum. I have my own world. But when you see post after post displaying the same incorrect internal beliefs, Guess what? It doesn;'t work well. Why was the wheel never reinvented? It works.

If you think for a minute, you have all the right answers, that's great. You have conviction. But is your conviction correct? Do you succeed in life mentally, physically ,spiritually, financially and physioligically with these core convictions? If you do, keep up the good work. If not, don't challenge another idealogy. That makes you foolish.

I dont justify my words(methaphorically) in my OP, but I do justify the meaning of which you missed.

In terms of strategies of coping and overcoming, read the whole post.

 

[joekerr31]

Both you and Joekker. You are too focused on the words rather than the meaning.

this guy has got to be a troll. what you said makes zero sense.

we are too focused on your words? what do you want us to focus on?

this is the kind of sh*t that chics say 'you KNOW what i mean!"

we aren't psychics sherman.

 

[Phyzzle]

The basic idea was fine. Joekerr, you've made the same post before, but with No Upper Case Letters.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=130902

On the other hand, I haven't read any of these 'epic' posts for a long while now. There's enough rambling rhetoric in skip2mylou's threads to last 10 lifetimes. Or DJ Bible or Book of Pook. Just talking about day to day life is inspiration enough.

EDIT: All of skip's threads have been deleted!! Ha! I didn't notice that.

 

[Phyzzle]

this is why i say the poster has to be like 17 or something.

Well, he doesn't quite write like a former millionaire stock broker/ex-con. But then again, at least he uses capitals, Douchefus.

 

[bigjohnson]

.... You are too focused on the words rather than the meaning. ....

Words mean things doofus. Don't try to put your shortcomings as a writer off on the readers. Step up and write what you mean if you've got something worthwhile, but don't expect people to read your mind-dump and see any message you intend beyond what you actually wrote.

 

[MikeYikes122]

The basic idea was fine. Joekerr, you've made the same post before, but with No Upper Case Letters.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=130902

On the other hand, I haven't read any of these 'epic' posts for a long while now. There's enough rambling rhetoric in skip2mylou's threads to last 10 lifetimes. Or DJ Bible or Book of Pook. Just talking about day to day life is inspiration enough.

EDIT: All of skip's threads have been deleted!! Ha! I didn't notice that.

I might be dating myself a little with this, but did you ever read Puerto Rican Lover's threads? I'm assuming he got banned, but I remember that guy coming on here and lecturing like a televangelist in posts that sometimes spanned 1,500 words.

 

[Interceptor]

Well, he doesn't quite write like a former millionaire stock broker/ex-con. But then again, at least he uses capitals, Douchefus.

Hey , who you callin' a "douchefus"???!


Oh, and speaking of which...what was that guy's name again? The millionaire/ex con with the over aggressive attitude?
Whatever happened to him? Anybody know?


And as for guru, well, the guy was trying to get something across. It was failry good, and interesting, but it was surrounded by other "stuff".
Johnson did make a fairly accurate description with the term "mind dump".
I've been guilty of that before. Sometimes the whole streamofconsciousnesswritingstyle does not go over well, and you end up confusing the issue that you think you see so clearly.
Note to self :"Be concise Think quality and clarity, not quantity!"
Anyway, let's get back to our old selves and make peace.

Oh, and guys, if you haven't looked up Dr. Paul's site, and the Authentic Man Program, you're missing out on some background of this topic we're trying to clear up.
So stop being "douchefusses" (is that a word??) or whatever, and get to reading!!
get to it!!
Now!
http://doctorpaul.net/

http://www.kwml.com/contemplate/assembler.php?page=welcome

http://www.authenticmanprogram.com/index3.php


:moon:

 

[bigjohnson]

Well it looked like there might be a good point in that mess someplace but since he claims to be a guy I'm not gonna treat him like a woman and try to puzzle out what he means, I rather expect him to be able to use his brain to organize his message and present it.

So I'm not dismissing his intent out of hand, just pointing out that he needs to step his communication skills up if he wants to make a point.

 

[Interceptor]

LOL@BJ.
Yeppers.:crackup:

Hopefully he'll be back and try to clarify his point, and not act like a "douchefus".
I like that word. I think I'll keep using it.

 

[bigjohnson]

I think many here dispute that being born male makes you a man. I know I do in any sense beyond the purely pedantic.

 

[guru1000]

a man to me; the ideal anyway; is simply a guy that can take control. The more in control, the more of a man. The kind of guy that everyone looks to; the one who is most confident, the guy that is running the show. He doesn't need to flaunt it or anything and yet everyone knows he is tha man. If he wants the frame on something its his for the taking. He can look you dead in the eye and everyone just knows. I wouldn't say its all about testosterone though. Sure he does have it; but he doesn't have to look like Terminator or nothin. He will have a certain air about him tho; a kind of dominance; and yet he doesn't have to be aggressive at all. He is just 'the man' and people respect him. He looks after people; he leads; and ppl go with him; they feel safe.

thats pretty much what i think of.

how much money he makes; his looks; his height; his interests; his hobbies; got nothin to do with it. he can cry if he wants; although i doubt he would; unless if say his parents died or something; everything else probably wouldn't phase the man. HE IS IN CONTROL afterall. When i think of an AFC i think of a guy who is NOT in control.

Yes, control is a KEY attribute of confidence. A confident MAN is in control most of the time because he has direction and less fear of failure (than the average) towards that direction. But confidence is only one facet of MAN. Integrity is another.

Let me take a step back, and invite others to share what else constitutes a MAN. No condescending arguements as a true MAN pointed out to me, just insight.

 

[guru1000]

Here is a little cut and paste for all your "Fear is healthy" buffs from a true GURU.



THE SIX GHOSTS OF FEAR:
Fear is nothing more than a state of mind.
6 basic fears (in order of how common they are):

1. Poverty
2. Criticism
3. Ill health
4. Lost love: The symptom of this is jealousy
5. Old age: Do you often think about dying?
and
6. Death

Every human being has the ability to control their own mind. Analyse your fear. All these fears rob us of our initiave; they stop us using the amazing powers of our imagination.
Accept your fears. Don't be susceptible to negative influences. Do you use alibis ("if only").
Fears are common and some of them are justified. Others can take root without you even knowing it. The most valuable treasure of all good health is achieved, when you conquer fear and banish worry...and the illness it can bring.
"A fearless man thrives on far horizons."

We become what we think about most often.

 

[guru1000]

Yet another quote:


The fear of POVERTY
The fear of CRITICISM
The fear of ILL HEALTH
The fear of LOSS OF LOVE OF SOMEONE
The fear of OLD AGE
The fear of DEATH
Some people tend to suffer only from one specific fear, but most of us are affected by several of them.

It is vitally important that you are absolutely clear that fears are a state of mind. We consciously or unconsciously create fears to protect ourselves, allegedly. In fact, they create an opposite effect to protection. In the stone age fears had their right to exist. A “good healthy fear” of anything insured the stone age man’s survival. Yet he knew nothing about fear of criticism, poverty or old age. These are “civilization fears” we created artificially.

So, some fears have been good back then, but what nowadays really protects us is the absence of fear. Hill gives us the example of the physicians, who never became infected by contagious diseases because of their immunity which solely consisted on their absolute lack of fear.

Does that mean that merely fear is attracting just what we are afraid of? You can bet it does. That’s the law of attraction helping us to get what we desire. And we do exactly that: we have it constantly in our mind, connect it with a very powerful emotion, negative but powerful. That’s all the law of attraction needs to fulfill our thoughts.

Think about that.

The fear of loss is the basic fear of loosing a person you love. A person you think you need in your life in order to survive. Would you believe me when I say that I experienced myself how my fear of loosing literally drove the person I loved away from me? That is true.

When we fear to loose someone, we’d take measures that we think will ensure the person we love stayed with us. What would we do? What measures would we take?

We would do anything to assure that our partner loved us
We would very often tell them that we loved them ourselves
We would very often get very very jealous
We would accuse, argue, fight
Jealousy is in fact the most common symptom for that fear.

And all this because we are afraid to loose our partner, despite of loving him/her so much.

I will give you an example.

Here’s an email of a reader that demonstrates what I mean:

We have both been hurt in past relationships, her more so than I have. I was cheated on by a girlfriend at 17, and that’s following me to this day. Since we both live so far away, and we won’t get to see each other again since august, past fears have started to resurface in both of us, especially since we have recently learned in more detail our sexual past. For some reason, even though neither of us has even thought of being with someone else physically or otherwise since we’ve met or even become exclusive, this has distraught us to the point of severe anxiety and depression over the last few days. The mere thought of her with another guy drives me insane, and the thought of me with another girl drives her insane. These thoughts have started to plague both of us.

We talk about it incessantly, and it seems like the only way to cope with them is to reassure each other every day. It has gotten to the point, a few days ago, where neither of us could function normally during the day because of the severe anxiety caused by these thoughts. Furthermore, we are so afraid of them that neither of us wants the other to be around persons of the opposite sex for too long, and we are even afraid of the possibility of flirting with other people. I trust her, and I know she won’t do it, but somehow I can’t get these nagging thoughts out of my head.

This distance thing has been the hardest thing I’ve had to do in my life, and I have absolutely every intention to marry this girl in the next couple of years, so how do I cope with these thoughts? Neither of us ever spends ANY time with people of the opposite sex, and so it seems unreasonable to even have these thoughts, and yet we get jealous at the POSSIBILITY of unfaithfulness, even though this has never happened and neither of us ever do it. What can we do?

Being in a long distance relationship doesn’t help in this situation, it makes things worse.

I wrote to this young reader that the solution here is to understand and accept that they can not help each other in that matter. They’ve learned already that reassuring faithfulness only lasts about 24 hours, before it haunts them again.

So, it is indispensable that both work on their personal problems first. The solution for their relationship problems will follow.

There a multiple reasons for the fear of loss and it is not always clear where the fear is coming from. It is my opinion that when fear of loss and fear of unfaithfulness gets real bad it is usually a lack of self-confidence, the feeling you do not deserve each other. Very often you have some experiences in your life, like being dumbed or being cheated on, that amplify that believe.

That is why reassuring each others faithfulness usually doesn’t work.

You first have to learn that you are lovable persons. You have to love YOURSELVES first. You have to be FAITHFUL that whatever happens, you will deal with it. Affirmations are a very good way to achieve this. Only then you will notice that the fear of loss and unfaithfulness will be gone. And only then you will have trust in each other. Overcoming jealousy is first loving yourself and getting clear with yourself. All else will follow.

Of course, this seems like an arduous task, the inner voices keep telling the opposite, but you have to work constantly on it.

There is no other or easier way. At least I don’t know one.

Keep fighting this haunting ghost, for it knows only evil