Been In Relationship Over A Year, Her Interest May Be Declining

Sir James

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Hello,

I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend over a year now. She is nice and I love her, but I feel like she is ****ing with my head lately. As expected we had sex all the time at first, then it gradually reached a plateau, until recently. We have not had sex in a month.

She is wild in bed and open to ANYTHING. She used to give me whatever I asked for (oral, anal, vaginal) sometimes multiple times a day, I didn't have to use a condom and could come inside her. The only reason I go into detail is to explain my situation.

There are two factors which I believe contributed to the decline of our sex life. The first is she has some health issues which I knew about going into the relationship that sometimes turns her off to sex. The second is I got complacent and clingy.

I feel like I may have been calling her too much and telling her I love her too much and doing favors for her, etc. and that this in turn is turning her off. The confusing part is if I don't contact her, she will contact me and if I don't tell her I love her she tells me she loves me. Lately I've been trying to keep contact (calls/texts) at a 1:1 ratio so there is at least a balance.

Another thing, for most of the relationship I was at the gym at least 3 nights a week or out doing something else, but due to a recent ankle injury I have been resting at home until it heals. I think maybe I started calling her too much because of this (I was bored and had nothing else to do).

She has legitimate health issues (fibromyalgia) which can flare up from time to time but she tells me her diet and physical therapy are making her feel better. In fact, she called me last night to say how great she felt. Sometimes though I think she is telling me she's not feeling well to avoid having sex with me. I do spend the night 1-3 nights a week and we kiss/cuddle though.

To sum up my question:

I want to continue the relationship because she is sweet and honestly is the best lover I have ever had (porn star sex).

What should I do to keep her interested? I have never been in a relationship this long.

Once my ankle is healed and I'm getting out of the house more will that make me appear less clingy in her eyes?

How long is too long to go without sex (due to health issues)?

Please respond if you've experienced any of these issue or have been in an ltr. Thanks.
 

JoeMarron

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Yeah, sounds like a classic case of failing to continue playing the game. The game never ends, even 50 years into a marriage. You've been getting needy which is the kiss of death in any relationship. As the man you need to be the one who cares less, you need to be the one showing less affection, she needs to be the one chasing you. It sounds fvcked up but that's just the way it is. That 50/50 1:1 bullsh!t isn't going to work.

Also as men we should always be improving ourselves. Your injury has obviously hindered that but after that's over with continue to stay in shape, pursue your hobbies, go on adventures and just be an awesome person who's always growing and experiencing new things.

As far as her health issues are concerned it's up to you if she's worth staying with despite that. Are you willing to stick with her despite the fact that her health may get in the way of your sex life? There are ways to be intimate besides sex however and if she's declining intimacy as well then you know it's an issue of attraction. To be more specific touch is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. Like sex it releases a bunch of chemicals and keep you guys bonded. If you can't bang her then keeps up with the kissing, cuddling, massages, whatever, as long as it's some form of touch.

Finally, make sure your game is tight in the bedroom. If you guys are having sex the same way every time then it's going to get boring regardless of how freaky it is. I could go into detail but check out the book The Sex God Method. It'll be difficult for your sex life to decline if your chick is craving you all the time.

Oh and since you're a noob check out the DJ Bible, it's packed with gold. http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/
 

Sir James

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I guess I'll give it another month and see how it goes. The way I see it I've been nice enough,so no more Mr. Nice Guy. I'm going to take a step back and see what happens, gauge her response to me not being around and brush up on some DJ tips, etc. I have no problem approaching women and know a bit about that aspect of the game, but ltr game is a whole new arena for me. You think you can let your guard down because the afterglow of constant wild sex feels so good -but you can't!

If it works out fine, if not at least I'm learning and improving as a DJ. I feel this experience may actually lead to a new improved me. I'll keep you posted. Thanks for the advice. :rockon:
 

The_411

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Comatozed said:
its a depressing thought that the game never ends.
It's not like that. The "game" is more about developing your inner game so that you are naturally repelled from acting on clingy and needy behaviors and you seek to better yourself ratehr than run to someone to feel better.

That's why having game goes way beyond "manipulating" emotional triggers for a woman and requires you to get yourself to a point where a woman is an adjunct not a goal or a need.

If you start to get complacent she'll get sick of you and she'll eventually cheat or dump you just as you should lose her if she gained 25 pounds and didn't show any effort to make any changes.
 

Sir James

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She called me late Friday night and asked how I was doing.

I told her I had just gotten home from an awesome party at an art gallery (sort of true, wasn't that awesome.)

She got mad I didn't invite her and hung up on me.

I texted her on Sunday to see if she wanted to watch one of "our" tv shows at her place.

She did, apologized (indirectly) for her attitude the past couple of days and gave me head.

I should probably stop over-analyzing ****. It makes me stumble.
 

JoeMarron

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Sir James said:
She called me late Friday night and asked how I was doing.

I told her I had just gotten home from an awesome party at an art gallery (sort of true, wasn't that awesome.)

She got mad I didn't invite her and hung up on me.

I texted her on Sunday to see if she wanted to watch one of "our" tv shows at her place.

She did, apologized (indirectly) for her attitude the past couple of days and gave me head.

I should probably stop over-analyzing ****. It makes me stumble.
Fvck no! If a b!tch hangs up on me I'm sure as hell not going to invite her out a couple days later. Now I see why her interest is declining, you're letting her disrepect you and not doing a damn thing about it. She should've been soft nexted http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread....tions-and-answers-to-questions&highlight=soft or at least let her initiate the next date
 
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