Be the man in the Arena

[BackInTheGame78]

Be the man in the arena, both with women and in life. More men would do well to print this out and put it in a place where they could read it every day until it sinks in.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

 

[BaronOfHair]

And if your surname is Crowe, that time in the areana will win you an Oscar, whereupon you'll witness your cultural relevance steadily decline down to 0 over the next decade

 

[jhonny9546]

Be the man in the arena, both with women and in life. More men would do well to print this out and put it in a place where they could read it every day until it sinks in.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

This is really well written.
What do you think of this perspective when applied to the beta provider man in a long-term marriage?
He is indeed the man in the arena, but what is missing?

 

[Gamisch]

This is really well written.
What do you think of this perspective when applied to the beta provider man in a long-term marriage?
He is indeed the man in the arena, but what is missing?

He is the man of the hour but only in his own mind, while in reality he gets emasculated on a daily basis.

He can tell his colleagues and friends about his " wife" , but when he comes home he gets nothing but disdainful behavior from both his wife and his kids.

Especially if we're talking long term. LMS doesn't even matter anymore, as we see with even HVM who are good-looking and famous, day after day.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is really well written.
What do you think of this perspective when applied to the beta provider man in a long-term marriage?
He is indeed the man in the arena, but what is missing?

He was never a strong man to begin with so how could this be about him? That would proclude him after the first sentence.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Great, great find. The great Teddy Roosevelt was a man like no other. I’ll go more into this later.

 

[BuildingVictory]

Powerful quote. Thank you for sharing.

 

[jhonny9546]

HVM

I don't know the mean of this.

He is the man of the hour but only in his own mind, while in reality he gets emasculated on a daily basis.

He can tell his colleagues and friends about his " wife" , but when he comes home he gets nothing but disdainful behavior from both his wife and his kids.

Not a wrong word, but I do also know people where the wife is genuinely in "love" (still care about his husband).
Maybe in your speak, you also mean that you can be a beta man, but somehow, behave, to get respected by her

He was never a strong man to begin with so how could this be about him? That would proclude him after the first sentence.

@Gamisch @BackInTheGame78 What about describing a beta men and a strong men in the same scenario (they could own the same business)

 

[Divorced w 3]

I don't know the mean of this.
Not a wrong word, but I do also know people where the wife is genuinely in "love" (still care about his husband).
Maybe in your speak, you also mean that you can be a beta man, but somehow, behave, to get respected by her

@Gamisch @BackInTheGame78 What about describing a beta men and a strong men in the same scenario (they could own the same business)

Think of Teddy Roosevelt to whom the quote is attributed to.

 

[jhonny9546]

Think of Teddy Roosevelt to whom the quote is attributed to.

I will reply to this later, since I don't know too much of him I need to study the subject first.


It just occurred to me how a woman can perceive a man. Let’s say the man was a soccer player in his youth, and now he meets this woman and starts a family with her. Ten years later, the woman still feels inferior and insecure about whether he will remain committed to her. As a result, she decides to hire a supervisor or an inspector to check if her husband is being unfaithful.

This situation makes me think that there is something in female psychology that is triggered when a woman sees her partner interacting with other women—something that stirs emotions within her. Conversely, if you make her your only focus and avoid engaging with other women, she may not feel that insecurity and could even wonder if she can allow herself to be with another man. It’s as if she feels overly secure.

So, do you actively work to create this dynamic through your behaviors, effectively manipulating the situation? Or do you achieve it passively, by simply leading a life full of social activities where these interactions happen naturally?

The difference is significant. In the first case, we are keeping a woman in a state of dependency; in the second, we esteem and respect her as an individual. We don’t confine her but instead communicate indirectly that we care.

Evaluating this from the perspective of female psychology, if the soccer player had become a beta "mama's boy," that woman—regardless of his attractiveness—would likely leave him rather than feel secure in her position.

So, the moral is: how do you provide a woman with a sense of security in raising a family while also instilling an underlying sense of uncertainty about your commitment—without actually abandoning her or even actively contemplating it? The key lies in your actions and the way you navigate your relationship dynamics.

This version maintains your original ideas while improving clarity and grammatical structure. Let me know if you need any further adjustments!

 

[Sega Genesis]

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I will reply to this later, since I don't know too much of him I need to study the subject first.


It just occurred to me how a woman can perceive a man. Let’s say the man was a soccer player in his youth, and now he meets this woman and starts a family with her. Ten years later, the woman still feels inferior and insecure about whether he will remain committed to her. As a result, she decides to hire a supervisor or an inspector to check if her husband is being unfaithful.

This situation makes me think that there is something in female psychology that is triggered when a woman sees her partner interacting with other women—something that stirs emotions within her. Conversely, if you make her your only focus and avoid engaging with other women, she may not feel that insecurity and could even wonder if she can allow herself to be with another man. It’s as if she feels overly secure.

So, do you actively work to create this dynamic through your behaviors, effectively manipulating the situation? Or do you achieve it passively, by simply leading a life full of social activities where these interactions happen naturally?

The difference is significant. In the first case, we are keeping a woman in a state of dependency; in the second, we esteem and respect her as an individual. We don’t confine her but instead communicate indirectly that we care.

Evaluating this from the perspective of female psychology, if the soccer player had become a beta "mama's boy," that woman—regardless of his attractiveness—would likely leave him rather than feel secure in her position.

So, the moral is: how do you provide a woman with a sense of security in raising a family while also instilling an underlying sense of uncertainty about your commitment—without actually abandoning her or even actively contemplating it? The key lies in your actions and the way you navigate your relationship dynamics.

This version maintains your original ideas while improving clarity and grammatical structure. Let me know if you need any further adjustments!

Thank you Chat GPT for your long-winded way too long philosophical thoughts.

 

[BaronOfHair]

So, do you actively work to create this dynamic through your behaviors, effectively manipulating the situation? Or do you achieve it passively, by simply leading a life full of social activities where these interactions happen naturally?

You do so by recognizing the maladaptive lessons learned from whatever environment you spent your formative years in... Often, this means absorbing the wisdom of keen observers like Beppe here https://www.npr.org/transcripts/6154369 (Quote: "...when you think that the majority of the males in their 30's live at home with their parents, that creates an enormous web, because their parents have to keep control - which is extraordinary. He's 30 years old, he has to inform his parents, then what about the girlfriend"), then recognizing:

"I was raised by and around men who were little more than f-cking babies, and who taught their sons(myself included)this such a lifestyle was A-OK. If I want to be a man, rather than a child, it's incumbent on me to start thinking and behaving differently"

 

[jhonny9546]

If I want to be a man, rather than a child, it's incumbent on me to start thinking and behaving differently"

Good point here! And you're saying it, "behaving differently".
You can behave differently but, differently should be "correctly".
So in this case, you want example of people that behave "correctly" because you had bad examples and you want now great examples. It's like a bad and good teacher at school.