Be Honest.

[nilescrane]

How many of you on here strictly to get women? You can say it's about self-improvement, but there are a lot of better self-improvements sites and methods out there that have nothing to do with women. This is all about improving yourself to get women that normally wouldn't pay attention to you unless you had money or crazy connections.

That's what disgusts me about this site. For most guys on here, they talk the talk and say "This is about becoming a man," but even a well-respected poster admitted that it's about improving yourself so you can be able to attract any woman.

The reality is, getting women is unnecessary and unimportant. I used to be the biggest skirt-chaser in the world. Nothing at all mattered to me besides women. When I started living for myself, and truly not caring if I went 5 years without getting a date (and I went that long, believe me), that's when I had the right mindset to talk to women.

Think about it, how many of you would be thinking about, talking to, or thinking about talking to women if they didn't look good? Most of us don't pine for hours thinking "I wish I could attract that ugly woman at work." So you boys (boys not men) are essentially giving women power over their physical appearance?

Even those of you who talk to women successfully and occasionally get a date or a lay with a hot woman, you've done it on HER terms, not yours. You weren't your real self. You were giving her the impression that you were someone you really aren't, then you went home and bragged about it on this site. If she knew you were on here with nerd terminology, would she be banging you? No, she'd laugh her a$$ off.

What am I suggesting, then? Improve yourself for you, not wanting any external results. The guys that work out on this site, if they were told that it was all for nothing and that it wouldn't result in a lay with a hot woman, they probably wouldn't be working out.

Be a better version of your real self. If you sit at home and eat fast food and play video games, you should want to change your life anyway, because you're pathetic, not because it's unattractive to women.

This isn't about being cool, or being an alpha male. True alpha males don't have to read a book to learn how to be one. Hell, true alpha males probably don't even know what alpha male means. This is about being what you really want to be, and not depending on the emotional or sexual validation that comes with picking up women. Even for those of you on here that occasionally get a lay with a hot woman, you're dependent on the woman. The truly independent man could live the rest of his life, and be happy women or no women.

 

[SchoolBoy]

How many of you on here strictly to get women? You can say it's about self-improvement, but there are a lot of better self-improvements sites and methods out there that have nothing to do with women. This is all about improving yourself to get women that normally wouldn't pay attention to you unless you had money or crazy connections.

That's what disgusts me about this site. For most guys on here, they talk the talk and say "This is about becoming a man," but even a well-respected poster admitted that it's about improving yourself so you can be able to attract any woman.

The reality is, getting women is unnecessary and unimportant. I used to be the biggest skirt-chaser in the world. Nothing at all mattered to me besides women. When I started living for myself, and truly not caring if I went 5 years without getting a date (and I went that long, believe me), that's when I had the right mindset to talk to women.

Think about it, how many of you would be thinking about, talking to, or thinking about talking to women if they didn't look good? Most of us don't pine for hours thinking "I wish I could attract that ugly woman at work." So you boys (boys not men) are essentially giving women power over their physical appearance?

Even those of you who talk to women successfully and occasionally get a date or a lay with a hot woman, you've done it on HER terms, not yours. You weren't your real self. You were giving her the impression that you were someone you really aren't, then you went home and bragged about it on this site. If she knew you were on here with nerd terminology, would she be banging you? No, she'd laugh her a$$ off.

What am I suggesting, then? Improve yourself for you, not wanting any external results. The guys that work out on this site, if they were told that it was all for nothing and that it wouldn't result in a lay with a hot woman, they probably wouldn't be working out.

Be a better version of your real self. If you sit at home and eat fast food and play video games, you should want to change your life anyway, because you're pathetic, not because it's unattractive to women.

This isn't about being cool, or being an alpha male. True alpha males don't have to read a book to learn how to be one. Hell, true alpha males probably don't even know what alpha male means. This is about being what you really want to be, and not depending on the emotional or sexual validation that comes with picking up women. Even for those of you on here that occasionally get a lay with a hot woman, you're dependent on the woman. The truly independent man could live the rest of his life, and be happy women or no women.

There's lots of truth is your post and I agree with many things you are saying. But it takes years of experience to reach that type of mentality. I think people are on this site for many reason. Some just want to get layed, some want to learn how to get a g/f, some just want to learn how to be an alpha, and maybe some look for enlightenment. It doesn't really matter. All I know is, we are a community, who all have the same goals in some way or another (attracting females). This is why we're here. Not everyone is born with alpha-male traits and lack the qualities to attract women. This can stem from childhood bullying, lack of father, lack of confidence etc.. But if this site can help those in need to become what they would like to be, then I see nothing wrong with what we do.

 

[grayclif]

More than likely most folks ended up here because of some incident with some woman but after reading a lot of the stuff on here they determined that maybe it wasn't the woman but they themselves.

Some of us may not have allowed ourselves to realize that that woman that broke their heart wasn't really that special after all. Maybe they discovered that there are certain commonalities amongst woman in this regard.

Maybe some of us need help understanding what the meaning of a real man is.

If you can solve a calculus problem you more than likely have the ability to sift through some of the BS on this site and find some real truths that could relate to you or your situation.

Maybe someone just wants to spice things up a bit, live a little. I'm sure you can find some nuggets of information here can excite any situation for you.

Your right in the end, yes it is about A Woman. Ending up with best one possible to compliment you as a human being.

 

[Nexus Polaris]

I think most guys come here initially for the same reason which is to get better at getting women, but most of them (at least I hope) eventually realize there are much more important lessons to be learned from this site.

And I agree that the concept of "alpha male" probably never really occurs to most natural alpha males. Because there's really not much to it. Essentially all it is is just doing whatever the fück you want whenever you feel like it. Listening to and living by your own internal compass rather than any kind of outside garbage anyone tries to feed you. It really is that simple. When you learn how to do this, all those elusive "alpha" behaviours you were trying so desperately to emulate just happen naturally. And people respond.

Personally, once I really understood all of this completely, the notion of pickup began to seem a bit silly to me. Attracting and having sex with women is a natural thing that we're designed to be able to do with minimal effort just by being men. It's not much different from eating or sleeping. It's just the fact that most of us didn't understand how to make it happen because we were lacking the necessary qualities that caused us to blow it up into something bigger than it actually is, the way a starving person might act with a new found knowledge of hunting. So we put it on a pedistal. Dedicating our lives to it and measuring our self worth on how successful we are at it.

Ultimately, this now makes about as much sense to me as measuring your self worth on how much food you can eat or how much air you can breathe.

Women and sex are great. But I enjoy them in the same sense that I enjoy a gourmet pizza with the works. They are enjoyable and fulfill a biological need. But my day doesn't revolve around them. I utilize them to meet my need and then I move on to other more important things.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

I really wish there were more threads like this.

Self-improvement is actually VERY ambiguous.
In my opinion, this site tries to teach frustrated people (AFCs) how to overcome their frustration so they can move on, and so that next time they're interested in a woman, not be self-manipulative and create illusions of logic to cover up their own insecurity and wussiness.

"Be honest" is SO right.

You have to be honest with yourself though before you can be honest with women. In many ways, many men are just like women. We're completely ILLOGICAL and think with our EMOTIONS.

Example: "Wow I really like this woman, she is so fine. I should go talk to her but I'm afraid to talk to her because rejection feels bad and I know I'm going to get rejected because I have no experience."

FIRST - The speaker likes a woman based on LOOKS. That's dishonest. Your natural sex drive makes you want to fvck anything that appeals to your eyes. Are you controlled by sex? No, you're an individual. You are complete without sex. You are a man.

SECOND - Fear of rejection. Yes, if you walk up to her and say "Hi, how are you?" she is going to be like "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU CREEP!" (because all women are evil and can't control their feelings, right?) and then she'll pull a knife on you and start stabbing you to death.

THIRD - You have no experience? You actually do have experience when it comes to meeting someone new. No human goes his/her whole life without starting conversations and being social.

Being social is the first step towards forming a relationship with someone, male or female. You could skip this step and come on to her right away, but that shows you want to fvck her, and that's creepy by social standards.
You want to show interest in MEETING HER by saying hello, then getting to know what she's like so you're absolutely sure that she isn't the kind of girl who likes to pull knives on other guys and stab them to death.

Getting women really isn't important. The paradox here is that you have to TRULY believe this in order to actually get women.
This site is designed to get men to try material out and come to this conclusion on their own. Failure is essential to succeeding.

Honesty about your mistakes is essential to being a good person. Be honest about your feelings in an attractive way.

+1 rep.

How many of you on here strictly to get women? You can say it's about self-improvement, but there are a lot of better self-improvements sites and methods out there that have nothing to do with women. This is all about improving yourself to get women that normally wouldn't pay attention to you unless you had money or crazy connections.

That's what disgusts me about this site. For most guys on here, they talk the talk and say "This is about becoming a man," but even a well-respected poster admitted that it's about improving yourself so you can be able to attract any woman.

The reality is, getting women is unnecessary and unimportant. I used to be the biggest skirt-chaser in the world. Nothing at all mattered to me besides women. When I started living for myself, and truly not caring if I went 5 years without getting a date (and I went that long, believe me), that's when I had the right mindset to talk to women.

Think about it, how many of you would be thinking about, talking to, or thinking about talking to women if they didn't look good? Most of us don't pine for hours thinking "I wish I could attract that ugly woman at work." So you boys (boys not men) are essentially giving women power over their physical appearance?

Even those of you who talk to women successfully and occasionally get a date or a lay with a hot woman, you've done it on HER terms, not yours. You weren't your real self. You were giving her the impression that you were someone you really aren't, then you went home and bragged about it on this site. If she knew you were on here with nerd terminology, would she be banging you? No, she'd laugh her a$$ off.

What am I suggesting, then? Improve yourself for you, not wanting any external results. The guys that work out on this site, if they were told that it was all for nothing and that it wouldn't result in a lay with a hot woman, they probably wouldn't be working out.

Be a better version of your real self. If you sit at home and eat fast food and play video games, you should want to change your life anyway, because you're pathetic, not because it's unattractive to women.

This isn't about being cool, or being an alpha male. True alpha males don't have to read a book to learn how to be one. Hell, true alpha males probably don't even know what alpha male means. This is about being what you really want to be, and not depending on the emotional or sexual validation that comes with picking up women. Even for those of you on here that occasionally get a lay with a hot woman, you're dependent on the woman. The truly independent man could live the rest of his life, and be happy women or no women.

 

[zekko]

Getting women really isn't important. The paradox here is that you have to TRULY believe this in order to actually get women.

I have to call BS on this, at least to some extent.
It is true women should not be your top priority.
It is true there is no one woman that you need.
It is true that you do not need to be banging 10 girls at once.

BUT I cannot imagine that any man would really, honestly feel like he has lived a fulfilled life if he had never been with any women. We are designed to be with women. Is it necessary, perhaps not. But to say it is not important is misleading. Especially since everybody who came to this site came to learn more about attracting women, including, I'm sure, the original poster.

I understand the point about improving for yourself, and I agree with it. That should be your main focus. But I don't buy the bit about women being unimportant. And I am sure there have been a LOT of guys in history who got women without believing this, in fact probably the vast majority of them.

 

[goodfoot]

TO be honest, it doesn't even sound like you want women. It sounds like you're telling everyone to become eunuchs and then all kinds of girls will want them. Your logic seems a bit off.

 

[vlf445]

fvck the women....I'm only here for self improvement, so I'm startin to think i should go elsewhere. Im gettin plenty of action, but that doesn't mean i don't realize i'm not dependent on this girl. Only reason she sticks around is cause im giving in bed. So, nilescrane, being completely honest, my only goal in life right now is to change from the piece of sh!t I currently am, and thats why I'm here.

And heres why I want to change. . .I sit around, smoke pot, and play video games n guitar all day. Guitar was the first hobby I picked up, n i love it...but its not changing how I feel like im rotting away at my own place. Now that I gotta girl nearby, I'm even more of a sloth, spendin like half of every day in bed. I'm startin to dislike socializing more n more...its becoming all small talk and it's really just a chore, even with some friends now. I don't like goin out to parties cuz its too hard to meet people there, the music is so loud all u can do is dance. The people I do manage to meet....well our relationships are bout as deep as a puddle, probably cuz they feel like I'm interviewing them rather than havin normal or interesting conversation. Worst part is...I have no idea who i wanna be. The guy who goes out clubbin, partyin, n pickin up chicks just doesnt sound like me, and not becuase I don't want the ass afterwards. Its cause all 3 of those things sounds like chores rather than any fun. I want to enjoy myself while gettin girls, not bein miserable so I can hope to stick it in one at the end of the night...sex is cool n all, but come on damnit...I WANNA BE FVCKING HAPPY!!!!!! So, for those here for self improvement, I'd love some help.

 

[BongDuy]

Im sure everyone here came here to improve their love life. That's what I came here for originally. Im still caught up in the women, but im learning that its more about improving my life in general.

What are some " better" sites you mentioned?

 

[DonJuan11]

The reality is, getting women is unnecessary and unimportant. I used to be the biggest skirt-chaser in the world. Nothing at all mattered to me besides women. When I started living for myself, and truly not caring if I went 5 years without getting a date (and I went that long, believe me), that's when I had the right mindset to talk to women.

This is about being what you really want to be, and not depending on the emotional or sexual validation that comes with picking up women. Even for those of you on here that occasionally get a lay with a hot woman, you're dependent on the woman. The truly independent man could live the rest of his life, and be happy women or no women.

I love guys who say "women and sex are unimportant".

It's as though they have no game and try to convince themselves and others that if you can't get a girl to sleep with you or even get a date, its not their fault because they don't mean much. If you feel better convincing yourself of this and thinking this way, more power to you. But it won't get you the results you want.

 

[Blank]

I love guys who say "women and sex are unimportant".

It's as though they have no game and try to convince themselves and others that if you can't get a girl to sleep with you or even get a date, its not their fault because they don't mean much. If you feel better convincing yourself of this and thinking this way, more power to you. But it won't get you the results you want.

This is not at all what the OP meant. He's saying that if you focus solely on getting women and having sex, that'll show. It's bad. To guys who are already having sex with women, its really not important. They don't attach any importance to the outcomes of their interactions with women. It's all for fun and the girls recognize this. Girls just wanna have fun, and they have it with guys who just wanna have fun.

In short: be a cool guy with confidence and a life. Don't be a desperate weirdo who is all about "getting girls".

 

[Veridin]

That's what disgusts me about this site. For most guys on here, they talk the talk and say "This is about becoming a man," but even a well-respected poster admitted that it's about improving yourself so you can be able to attract any woman.

The reality is, getting women is unnecessary and unimportant.

Sure there are other important things in life. But it's like when you read about fishing: who said fishing is everything? It's just one of the things you learn about.

 

[Mike32ct]

This is not at all what the OP meant. He's saying that if you focus solely on getting women and having sex, that'll show. It's bad. To guys who are already having sex with women, its really not important. They don't attach any importance to the outcomes of their interactions with women. It's all for fun and the girls recognize this. Girls just wanna have fun, and they have it with guys who just wanna have fun.

In short: be a cool guy with confidence and a life. Don't be a desperate weirdo who is all about "getting girls".

I understand what you're saying. However I want to emphasize the part about it not being a big deal getting laid if you are getting laid regularly. For a lot of guys, including myself, it's a huge deal because were not getting laid regularly and its so hard to pull off. Getting sex requires a herculean effort for some guys. When I forget about women and focus on my life, women couldn't care less. I'm into self improvement but I do it for myself. It makes zero difference in the attention I get.

 

[Proselytiser]

The ultimate goal of the male of any species is to reproduce via the females.... everything is geared to that end.

 

[nilescrane]

I care about women, but like someone else said, in the same way I care about gourmet food. It seems most guys on this site live, eat, and breathe women, and not only is that unhealthy IMO (though completely normal and understandable) it's also counter-productive because when you do get a woman in your life, she'll sense that she's all you have in your life. I know this from first-hand experience.

I used to think, "Get the girl, everything else will follow." Having an attractive girlfriend is nice, but people lose interest in one another quickly. Most relationships fail sooner than later. So if the guys on here are anything like I was, when the girl dumps them, the guy loses complete sense of self.

I love women. But I'm at a point where I could care less about getting them. I think guys who've never had a girlfriend or dated much or slept with women have this fantasy about what it's like...and it's nothing like that. It can be good, really good at times, but if you don't have a foundation besides women, you're not going to be happy even if you have the woman and everything is going well. You will scare her off with your desperation, and if you don't, she's probably as desperate as you and just using you for the wedding ring.

 

[The Decay of Meaning]

I have no trouble at all at getting women in bed.

What I have trouble with is keeping them (because I' m a fool who become way too easily emotionally attached), and because I want to improve myself so I can have a better economy, better sense of self-worth, better looks, better life etc. Getting laid is no problem. I am doing it for myself, for my own well being.

 

[nilescrane]

I'll admit, I feel old for my age. I'm 26, and kind of feel like I'm at "Part 2" of my life, and that's not a bad thing at all, in fact, as long as I don't go bald, I welcome it with open arms. I finally feel like an adult.

 

[DonJuanit0]

Didn't read many of the replies, but man... Are you kidding me?!?

Firstly, did you learn how to read and write before coming in this site and write all that staff you did? I guess you did! No one, I mean no one has anything inside him or has a character or will grow up and will be an Alpha in his life!

What you experience and live is what you are! What am I saying here? That if someone learn about this site, come here and read some posts, some replies, the bible and bla bla bla WILL GAIN more experience! Something that hasn't yet happened to him or even has, and see how OTHERS dealt with it! No one here says, "become like me", "I am the alpha"! This site is basically for sharing experiences amongst young men who want to have a better sex life or be a better man!

I'll give my self as an example here and tell me if this site did good or bad to me!

I never had a problem with my sex life, thank god I've been doing great since I was 15 and now I am close to 21! I had girls all around me and staff, BUT I was completely clueless about how to act when I was with a group of people I didn't know or even walk past some nice women who would look at me! I would walk like an idiot and lose my pace!

If it wasn't for this site, I would still have a problem walking, I would still have a problem maintaining eye contact with a woman! I'd never know about kino, which do wonders!

Nowdays I've completely changed and I walk with my head up high, even a co worker of mine when I got in to the place I work told me: "Damn, I love you man, you walk like you own the store and you are above everyone"!

Would I be like that if I hadn't read about being confident? About feeling nice and be able to talk to anyone? NO!

This site helps you change some aspects of your life that you don't like or even haven't yet realised they exist! As I said before, it's all about experiences and advices given by men! It's in your judgement and IQ to accept them or deny them and continue the way you are!

Cheers!

 

[Gangster Of Love]

The reality is, getting women is unnecessary and unimportant. I used to be the biggest skirt-chaser in the world.

Even for those of you on here that occasionally get a lay with a hot woman, you're dependent on the woman. The truly independent man could live the rest of his life, and be happy women or no women.

I found your problem...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNusNs97cP0

 

[nilescrane]

I'd expect this type of a response from one of the teenagers on this site, but not a 35 year old.

If you want to live your life, at age 35, looking for the next hit and never being satisfied, it's your life. You're still letting women control your happiness even if you're having sex with them (which I doubt you are as much as you'd like to be, or else you wouldn't be on such a lame site.)

I have a lot of nice memories of being in bed with very attractive women, but after a while, they all blend together, especially when the women have no personality to speak of (which they usually don't, which is why I laugh at the guys on this site who get hung up on "one hot girl.")