You ARE what you say you not
Crissco said:
LOL .... I aint no b1ch kidd. I just got caught up in the moment, plus the fact we where chillin my basement with cement and weights around us didnt help. Plus I used to box and I took marital arts. You only lost if you let your self lose.
When animals fight they try to intimidate each other first, usually intimidation works and prevents serious fights. For example a buffalo might bluff and scare the competitor and then get his girl without even fighting.
What happened was he intimidated you.. You got scared and start supplicating to him with reason.. He left with your girl and he fvcked her all night long. You lost a fight during that intimidation stage. He won, and he fvcked your girl, and established himself as an alpha of that group of friends.
The feeling of douchbagness that you have comes from the fact that you lost a fight and lost your girl to him. You can rationalize this whichever way you want to. You can say girl wasn't good enough. You can say weights were laying around. Whatever. You lost, and he fvcked your girl. As a matter of fact the sooner you understand this the better. If you don't get this now, six months, a year, even two years down the road this will bug you.
Memorize the feeling that you have now good, because it will come back over and over at you in the future.
You ARE what you say you not, or at least that's how you feel about yourself. You lost a fight and your girl got fvcked, and you telling me you're not a b1tch kid? That is that, and everything else you say is just your brain protecting you from the fact.
Cure is to man up. Yes, new better circle of friends and chicks. On going martial arts training. Just because you used to box means squat, you train for that one moment you have to use your training, which may only come once in a life time. Your training is crap because whatever training stuck with you must have been girl's Home and Gardening class, how to talk serve dinner and please.
There is this saying, it's pointless to throw punches after the fight is over. I'm just trying to help you out here, don't try to hit me.
But yes, this is how people get damaged, never understand what happened, rationalize everything as something else, and live a life of lie all their lives, then being angry at other people for what happened to them.