Back on the prowl after 14 month monogamy. Seeking the missing keys

[SargeMaximus]

I am feeling quite "down" by everything. Especially reading DJ stuff. Makes me realize I'm not being as dominant as I should be. But I'm too lazy to be. Like god damn this will be worse than a full time job if I do everything I'm reading about.

That said, I realized recently I've gotten some good initial hits online and my brother has acted fearful of me, so perhaps there are some subtle dominant changes happening. And I could reframe what happened with my fwb as her fearing to lose me. I'll give things another week but if it's more of the same I'll make some more extreme changes. Till then one of the things I'm going to stop doing online is trying to push things forward. So no offering a number or offering to meet. I'll see if any of the girls offer these things.

The problem is, it's a fine line between being too eager and not being a man who leads the interaction. I honestly don't see the "alpha" middle ground.

In my own practice, I usually offer to meet or a number when I want it, not when I think the woman will think it's not needy. I've always thought that is best but I'm gonna try it and see how it works. I do sense I'm losing some girls from perceived neediness.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Just to show how the whole "be the prize, don't rush in" PUA advice is CRAAP:

I'm talking with a poly girl rn on bumble. She messaged me first obviously because it's bumble.

ANYhow, we're talking and as I've noticed with other poly women, they seem to want to be able to f*ck all the men they want while they dislike men who have options. So to get the dynamic back into my favor, as we were talking about how she could manage time for dating with her family responsibilities (she has a few kids) she mentioned how she has baby sitters and family so she was free after 8 most times. So in line with my "not going to make the first move" test this week, AND to test this whole "be the prize, don't rush in" thing, I simply said "Cool. You have potential"

and she's like "potential for what?"

And here I'm thinking "wow, she assumes she's already won me over. Gotta figure out how to change that next girl"

So I say "for dating"

And she's like "lol, okay"

And that's where it ends.

If I WASN'T trying this little experiment, I would most likely have pushed for a meet and either been agreed with or rejected by now.

EDIT: She blocked me. Lol. Love it. More confirmation bias that what I've been doing before learning this PUA **** was the right thing to do all along.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Latest online interaction. Cute 21 year old but definitely one who isn't interested or at least not desperate.

Me: Hey trouble

Her: Trouble ? Lol

Me: Yes

Her: Why?

Me: Squinty eyes

Her: Tf

I didn't reply.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Another convo that went nowhere:

me: hey trouble

her: what makes you think I’m trouble? Haha

me: you have a mischievous smile

her: I am quite the handful

me: sounds kinky

her: and that’s the end of the conversation

I blocked her before she could.

I should have countered her question with my own question. I keep forgetting to do that sometimes

 

[SargeMaximus]

I think the mischievous smile line was good. Well you got a positive response after that line. Now test different lines building off it. Next time the chick says something along the lines of "I'm a handful" don't go sexual, say something like "I think I can handle you". If that doesn't work try something else. Keep building off the lines that work. I am going to steal that opener, and smile line from you and try building off it also.

Awesome, thanks man. And glad I gave you some ammo.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Latest 21 year old I failed to seduce. She obviously didn’t like the idea I didn’t have my own place.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Time to come to an agreement with your brother about getting a certain time to yourself at your place, so you can bring them back home.

Just not something I can do. He has nowhere to go. No car. Just a dead eat yet he gets hotter girls than me. And he gets to **** them at their places so if he can do it I, with Accra to pick up magic should be able to do it

 

[Lookatu]

Latest 21 year old I failed to seduce. She obviously didn’t like the idea I didn’t have my own place.

All I see is sex talk and no seduction whatsoever in your texts.

 

[SargeMaximus]

All I see is sex talk and no seduction whatsoever in your texts.

Yeah. Any time I try seductive I get ghosted.

 

[Lookatu]

Yeah. Any time I try seductive I get ghosted.

You're not doing it right. Do you have any examples of a seductive text where you got ghosted? Maybe SS members can try to help improve your seduction text game.

 

[SargeMaximus]

You're not doing it right. Do you have any examples of a seductive text where you got ghosted? Maybe SS members can try to help improve your seduction text game.

Not currently But usually when I try and be seductive I do things like say “you have potiential” or something like that. Do you have any suggestions I can try? I’m open to trying new things at this point as long as it’s not something I tried and failed with in the past

 

[Lookatu]

Not currently But usually when I try and be seductive I do things like say “you have potiential” or something like that. Do you have any suggestions I can try? I’m open to trying new things at this point as long as it’s not something I tried and failed with in the past

There's no set formula but analyzing your past interactions is probably more effective. The next time you try that, save the screenshots so we can analyze what's going on or how you can improve.

I can say "you have potential" line without building enough rapport or having enough witty banter to build up to it will give it negative connotations to certain girls though.

 

[SargeMaximus]

There's no set formula but analyzing your past interactions is probably more effective. The next time you try that, save the screenshots so we can analyze what's going on or how you can improve.

I can say "you have potential" line without building enough rapport or having enough witty banter to build up to it will give it negative connotations to certain girls though.

Ok I will. But I never was able to be witty. I used to back when I was an insecure guy but since getting real with myself, it just isn’t something I do

not saying you or anyone being witty is insecure whatnim
Trying to say is that I’m not able to do it anymore. I’m just more at home being boring I guess

 

[Blacksheep]

Not currently But usually when I try and be seductive I do things like say “you have potiential” or something like that. Do you have any suggestions I can try? I’m open to trying new things at this point as long as it’s not something I tried and failed with in the past

Idk if that is a good tip, but try to figure out what is the fantasy of the woman ure talking. Some love to live in that fantasy world, once ure in... Ure also in her pssy.

Its not easy to learn, Im not a master on it... But I saw that happening to me in some cases.

Status seems to play a big role too. When I was a dj and music producer... It rained women to me as easy as sleeping. Now as I dont do that anymore, its a bit difficult... But also I find more genuine connection than before.

It also depends on what you want. Do you want only sex, do you want connection, do you want casual dates... You must define it, since that can change the direction of your game.

Hope that can help a bit man.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Idk if that is a good tip, but try to figure out what is the fantasy of the woman ure talking. Some love to live in that fantasy world, once ure in... Ure also in her pssy.

Its not easy to learn, Im not a master on it... But I saw that happening to me in some cases.

Status seems to play a big role too. When I was a dj and music producer... It rained women to me as easy as sleeping. Now as I dont do that anymore, its a bit difficult... But also I find more genuine connection than before.

It also depends on what you want. Do you want only sex, do you want connection, do you want casual dates... You must define it, since that can change the direction of your game.

Hope that can help a bit man.

This is much appreciated, thank you. I know exactly what I want: 3-4 regular girls that I can go through life with. While having ons at my leisure but I do want a solid group of girls to be in open relationships with.

the fantasy thing is interesting, I’ve noticed this too. It’s hard to meet the fantasy when I also want to just have sex my way. I don’t like catering to women, but I have noticed girls who I coincidentally align with their fantasy, are really into me.

if it’s as simple as finding out her fantasy and catering to it, how can I do that?

 

[Blacksheep]

Also, I'm trying to find some connection with women I date... But in my past experiences and analysis, I didn't found that much of that. I'm trying to figure out now if that is really possible... Cause my main opinion is that monogamy and that idea of love might not exist. And with my Psychoanalysis studies, there might be a possibility of that if a woman or man becomes able to self-analyse herself/himself or do that journey of understanding your inner side, its a good path of building some kind of monogamic relationship.

But that's all assumptions. I'm gonna dive deep on that and try to see if there is any logic or a reasonable theory. But based on my sexual issues and development with my self-analysis and therapy... It came on my mind that possibility.

About casual dating, I would like to add that in our society... There is a great objectification. The principles of most people are based on material stuffs like money, what it can buy and the fantasy of status/power and the feeling of being important.

I see women here in Brazil valuing drug dealers and guys who like brazilian funk and show their power (money, danger, against law, etc.). Those are the ***** ones who definitely look for those status and fck those guys.

The other side is also true. There are women who look for guys who have power, but not something against the law. Their fantasy is about the guy who built a company, are confident and people admire him socially. Those women also will love to have sex with those guys, if they showed those aspects... But its still the same as the first idea.

I've used to play on some parties that I saw a lot of drug dealers and those "dangerous guys"... They hold the hottest and horniest women with them.

Myself as a DJ (Music DJ), I had access to a lot of horny and sexy women. Not that much as those "Drug dealers guys"... But I saw that world and what happened behind the scenes. Same you can achieve as being a militar or a guy who show something similar. But a woman who date a drug dealer is not the woman who dates a militar or a musician. I could call it Women Tiers... Each Tier we can define if their main desire/fantasy relates to sex or in another principle.

Status/Power Tier I could say that its mainly related to sex and resources. Women use sex as a tool to obtain part of that Status/Power a guy holds on.

I'm not saying to do that, but if you understand the mechanics of the Tier you wanna get in and what kind of fantasy is the ruling that Tier... You will have access to most women on that. That's basically learning to play by the game rules.

I used to like that a bit when I was younger, now I don't. That's why I'm trying to find the Tier that values other principles to see if its possible to build something more genuine.

 

[Blacksheep]

This is much appreciated, thank you. I know exactly what I want: 3-4 regular girls that I can go through life with. While having ons at my leisure but I do want a solid group of girls to be in open relationships with.

the fantasy thing is interesting, I’ve noticed this too. It’s hard to meet the fantasy when I also want to just have sex my way. I don’t like catering to women, but I have noticed girls who I coincidentally align with their fantasy, are really into me.

if it’s as simple as finding out her fantasy and catering to it, how can I do that?

A lot of observation... Ask what kind of patterns exist on that type of woman you want. There is a mechanic behind it, and mastering it can give you better tools to achieve that.

Also there is no way of observing those patterns if you don't try and make mistakes. And those mistakes hold great teachings to improve your gameplay.

You can use it to do bad things or not... Use carefully.

We as humans plays by patterns, and patterns most of times lead to the same path.

 

[SargeMaximus]

A lot of observation... Ask what kind of patterns exist on that type of woman you want. There is a mechanic behind it, and mastering it can give you better tools to achieve that.

Also there is no way of observing those patterns if you don't try and make mistakes. And those mistakes hold great teachings to improve your gameplay.

You can use it to do bad things or not... Use carefully.

We as humans plays by patterns, and patterns most of times lead to the same path.

Yeah I know the type of girl I want but I don’t think I could ever be the type of guy they want so what then? Is game only trying to be the kind of guy a type of girl you like is into? I thought game was hitting primal triggers that supersede such things

 

[Blacksheep]

Yeah I know the type of girl I want but I don’t think I could ever be the type of guy they want so what then? Is game only trying to be the kind of guy a type of girl you like is into? I thought game was hitting primal triggers that supersede such things

I can tell only by what I see.

And in some cases yes, for example... Some women basically looks for a guy who is attractive with muscle and not fat. Their pattern of taste is based on feeling attracted by a strong and fit guy. So if someone is fat, he will never achieve that requirement.

It happened to me. I was very fat, didn't fck any girl (until my 16yrs). Lost weight, became a dj (18 to 25)... Fcked a lot of women. Became depressed and gained weight... Most of those girls I used to have sex left. I still have sex and dates, but not with that kind of women and not in the same amount of before.

Started to lose weight and nowadays I'm bit better than in that depressed state... Some women feel more attracted.

So in some cases is not only triggering those primal triggers.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I can tell only by what I see.

And in some cases yes, for example... Some women basically looks for a guy who is attractive with muscle and not fat. Their pattern of taste is based on feeling attracted by a strong and fit guy. So if someone is fat, he will never achieve that requirement.

It happened to me. I was very fat, didn't fck any girl (until my 16yrs). Lost weight, became a dj (18 to 25)... Fcked a lot of women. Became depressed and gained weight... Most of those girls I used to have sex left. I still have sex and dates, but not with that kind of women and not in the same amount of before.

Started to lose weight and nowadays I'm bit better than in that depressed state... Some women feel more attracted.

So in some cases is not only triggering those primal triggers.

Yes but you were also a DJ. I’ve seen sooo many fat guys with hot Instagram level girls where I live. So I think there’s more going on. I just wish I knew what it was because I’m already fit and even when I was 180lbs with 10% body fat I couldn’t get any action. I think it’s all game tbh but I just think I’m missing some keys that could be helping me