Back in the approaching routine, but discouragement arise

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

After some years of resting with my girlfriend, I am getting back to the game of approaching women. But after some rejections, my mind get discouragement, telling me: "why have I to do this stuff?", "is very tiring","all women are narcisists", "rejections hurts".

I am tring to push me on, to overcome these toughts, but is difficult.

Advices?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

After some years of resting with my girlfriend, I am getting back to the game of approaching women.

Is it over between you and your girlfriend and are you looking for other women, or are you still together and just trying to gauge whether you're still considered attractive to women?

In both cases, I guess you get rejected because you're sending out the wrong vibe. Whatever you're doing, you're probably too thirsty, which you shouldn't be at your age.

 

[DreamAgain]

After some years of resting with my girlfriend, I am getting back to the game of approaching women. But after some rejections, my mind get discouragement, telling me: "why have I to do this stuff?", "is very tiring","all women are narcisists", "rejections hurts".

I am tring to push me on, to overcome these toughts, but is difficult.

Advices?

You need to look for signals first. Are you approaching women who don't give you any eye contact, who don't smile, who don't move closer to your proximity?

If you are messing things up after getting signals, work on being more socially calibrated, learn to tell some jokes, be relaxed, etc.

 

[Barrister]

I find the best way to get back into cold approach after a hiatus is just approach for the sake of striking up conversations and being friendly. Work on your charm with strangers. And you can do this with both men and women to get back in the groove. Most of being successful at cold approach is just being good at socializing in general and thinking on your feet.

That said, all of us still strike out more than we hit when it comes to cold approach. It is a numbers game. But remember you always pull both younger and hotter with cold approach than you will with OLD. Definitely (IMO) the better route to take.

 

[Gamisch]

I find the best way to get back into cold approach after a hiatus is just approach for the sake of striking up conversations and being friendly. Work on your charm with strangers. And you can do this with both men and women to get back in the groove. Most of being successful at cold approach is just being good at socializing in general and thinking on your feet.

That said, all of us still strike out more than we hit when it comes to cold approach. It is a numbers game. But remember you always pull both younger and hotter with cold approach than you will with OLD. Definitely (IMO) the better route to take.

It's kinda crazy that OLD is where it's at today. Especially for such an initiutive thing. Although you could argue that apparently it's also "nature" that a sub5 female wants a top 10 % dude.

Especially man around 40 /35 were there during the best days of OLD ,when male 6 would attract a female 5.

Besides that I agree with you. Gotta become a social beast, which will be difficult unless you designed your life including character to be like that. By that I mean also find like minded men who Re in.the same boat, having your shyte together, look good ect.

The introvert who gets out a LTR will look at the game like a man coming home from a 5 year prison sentence; " its amazing how quick everything changed ".

 

[characternote]

it's never a 'skill' issue unless you are incredibly weird and autistic and can't seem remotely 'normal', which I assume doesn't apply to you

Cold approach (and not waiting for IOI's as @DreamAgain mentioned) is a VERY low odds game unless you look like a male model or something lol (assuming you are going for very hot, very young girls)

Just keep going. You're going to get rejected an absolute tonne just like anyone else on here (as well as professional PUA's).
Accept it. But you'll hit some home runs if you keep going and just accept that rejection is normal. And try to get more attractive (gym, fashion, grooming etc)

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

After some years of resting with my girlfriend, I am getting back to the game of approaching women.

Not sure what the hell "resting with my girlfriend" means in this context, but hey.

But after some rejections, my mind get discouragement, telling me: "why have I to do this stuff?", "is very tiring","all women are narcisists", "rejections hurts".

No rejection EVER feels good.

It hurts...some more than others.

But it's all part of the game..a necessary part of the game.

If you are in a room with 100 women and you're tasked to find the few women among the 100 that will rock with you... you're gonna have to get through the one's that AREN'T rocking with you (the ones that reject you), to find the ones that are.

You cant have success without failure.

I am tring to push me on, to overcome these toughts, but is difficult.

Advices?

It is difficult, but make it fun.

First, work on things you can control.

Lose fat, build muscle.

Hit the gym and become the best physical version of yourself...with that comes confidence, confidence through the roof.

I need you to acknowledge that this is something you are willing too commit to..before we proceed further.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

After some years of resting with my girlfriend, I am getting back to the game of approaching women. But after some rejections, my mind get discouragement, telling me: "why have I to do this stuff?", "is very tiring","all women are narcisists", "rejections hurts".

I am tring to push me on, to overcome these toughts, but is difficult.

Advices?

Keep doing them.

This is your brain's way of trying to force you to remain status quo. The brain from an evolutionary standpoint only tries to keep you alive, it is not concerned with you thriving.

And from an evolutionary standpoint of survival, status quo and the known is far safer than venturing out into the unknown and doing something new.

So your brain will try all sorts of tricks and ways of getting you to stop doing it.

You have to force yourself to push thru it and eventually it will reset so that it no longer sees that as a threat to your survival anymore and it will stop these thoughts.

 

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

Is it over between you and your girlfriend and are you looking for other women, or are you still together and just trying to gauge whether you're still considered attractive to women?

In both cases, I guess you get rejected because you're sending out the wrong vibe. Whatever you're doing, you're probably too thirsty, which you shouldn't be at your age.

Sorry, I didn't specified that after some years with my girl friend, we broke, and I am in the game again. This is what I was meaning, but I didn't think was so important to specify

 

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

Thank you all guys for the positive answers, I'll follow your advices.

I'll keep goin

 

[inquisitor]

"why have I to do this stuff?"

Don't you have a biological imperative, nor a need to fulfill, nor the chemical drive to do so?

"is very tiring"

You think life is meant to be relaxing?

"all women are narcisists"

Have you ever taken the time to just listen to a genuinely nice woman before?

"rejections hurts"

You think life is meant to be free of hurt?

You know the answers to my questions, trust me.

And since you know the answers to my questions,
so you must be able to answer your own questions.

 

[Gamisch]

What's up @We_ArE_VeNOM .

One great route of you I'll always remember:
" when you use OLD you get rejected thousands of times."

And it's true. We all know that feeling when you decide to delete bumble because you stop getting anything. The moment it dawns down on you that ALL THOSE WOMEN you see on the app basically rejected ( yeah I know shadow bans, algorithm). Eventually OLD rejection feels worse than real life rejection. No matter what we do, a man's life will never be without rejection.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

What's up @We_ArE_VeNOM .
One great route of you I'll always remember:
" when you use OLD you get rejected thousands of times." And it's true

Glad that one resonated with you my guy.

It is definitely true.

And those thousands are just the ones that are going to see your profile and see that you aren't attractive in their eyes...so no "like" or message will come your way from them.

That doesn't even include the ones who left your messages on read.

So, what you have are rejections are coming from two different angles.

But the selling point for OLD is, you are less likely to experience harsh rejections.

That's what guys seek to avoid, and what is really going on here.

 

[BPH]

Pain is a good motivator, so maybe it helps to think about something more painful than getting rejected.

Which pain would you rather?

One rejection.

or...

One decade married to somebody you settled for and no longer love because it was "easy"?

These are extremes, but maybe they'll motivate you.

 

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

Guys, I saw many of you refer to the word "OLD". WHat OLD means? Is something like "OnLine Dating"?

 

[BPH]

Guys, I saw many of you refer to the word "OLD". WHat OLD means? Is something like "OnLine Dating"?

Yes.

 

[Isildur1]

I get it approaching is hard- during my time doing daygame from 2017 -2022 it was a constant mental battle with myself when it came to doing daygame but the wingmen who succeeded the most won the mental battle with themselves and kept things persistent with constant approaching and opening sets.

For me i'd go through a lot of rejections and humiliations but i'd pull a stunner once every roughly 80-100 approaches which made everything worthwhile - yes the rejection was tough but i had no alternative i had to keep going and keep being social - i wasted a lot of time having mental battles with myself in the field and if I had been more direct and more consistent and ignored those negative emotions i wouldve just gotten laid a lot more and had more dates .

What you can do ?
Get better wingmen - this helped me a lot - eased the mental burden and made doing group sets a lot easier , overall i found myself more productive with a wingman i know a lot in the seduction community are lone wolves but i see more benefit going out with someone esle.
https://mindful-masculinity.org/202...hose-starting-out-on-their-seduction-journey/


Meditate - Helps you to deal with the negative assertions of daygame and focus more on interactions - i also find myself more in the zone in interactions

Take Infrared Sauna- Again this can lower anxiety and make you more peaceful giving you the zen state.

Try and avoid screens- again im a hypocrite because i m addicted as **** to screens but i find the more time i spend on computers the worse my social interactions go- if i have a day without screens my interactions generally went a lot better- screentime really does f my brain up .

Remember the importance of what you do :https://mindful-masculinity.org/202...ng-for-the-majority-of-men-to-meet-new-women/

Daygame is mainly a mental battle between yourself- I am in a relationship now but still i try and be as social as possible to maintain the habit i still try and speak to strangers - sometimes the interactions go well and it leads to me making new friends other times people look at me like I am a freak - neither of those out comes define me

its like daygame - sometimes women would blow me out (90 percent of the time) and it would make me look like a loser or a creep - then occasionally I'd have sex with a stunner after a boatload of rejection which made my wings thing i am some sort of master player - again neither of those outcomes define who i am as an individual. If i can't take the rejection then I don't deserve the lays- because its mathematically impossible to have one without the other .

 

[BaronOfHair]

"why have I to do this stuff?"

You don't HAVE to, the same way you don't HAVE to be a reliable employee, 88. Your prospects of success just won't be as strong if you start spending 115 hours per week indoors playing X Box instead of being outdoors and socializing, or making minimal effort whilst on the clock

 

[BaronOfHair]

It hurts...some more than others.

Yep. Tragically, there was a time when we spoke of such things in plain language

, rather than the nonsense we've been indulging in from '16-the present: Babbling in opaque paragraphs overstuffed with Manosphere esoterica about Red Pills, Hypergamy, and Gynocentrism

 

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

I get it approaching is hard- during my time doing daygame from 2017 -2022 it was a constant mental battle with myself when it came to doing daygame but the wingmen who succeeded the most won the mental battle with themselves and kept things persistent with constant approaching and opening sets.

For me i'd go through a lot of rejections and humiliations but i'd pull a stunner once every roughly 80-100 approaches which made everything worthwhile - yes the rejection was tough but i had no alternative i had to keep going and keep being social - i wasted a lot of time having mental battles with myself in the field and if I had been more direct and more consistent and ignored those negative emotions i wouldve just gotten laid a lot more and had more dates .

What you can do ?
Get better wingmen - this helped me a lot - eased the mental burden and made doing group sets a lot easier , overall i found myself more productive with a wingman i know a lot in the seduction community are lone wolves but i see more benefit going out with someone esle.
https://mindful-masculinity.org/202...hose-starting-out-on-their-seduction-journey/


Meditate - Helps you to deal with the negative assertions of daygame and focus more on interactions - i also find myself more in the zone in interactions

Take Infrared Sauna- Again this can lower anxiety and make you more peaceful giving you the zen state.

Try and avoid screens- again im a hypocrite because i m addicted as **** to screens but i find the more time i spend on computers the worse my social interactions go- if i have a day without screens my interactions generally went a lot better- screentime really does f my brain up .

Remember the importance of what you do :https://mindful-masculinity.org/202...ng-for-the-majority-of-men-to-meet-new-women/

Daygame is mainly a mental battle between yourself- I am in a relationship now but still i try and be as social as possible to maintain the habit i still try and speak to strangers - sometimes the interactions go well and it leads to me making new friends other times people look at me like I am a freak - neither of those out comes define me

its like daygame - sometimes women would blow me out (90 percent of the time) and it would make me look like a loser or a creep - then occasionally I'd have sex with a stunner after a boatload of rejection which made my wings thing i am some sort of master player - again neither of those outcomes define who i am as an individual. If i can't take the rejection then I don't deserve the lays- because its mathematically impossible to have one without the other .

Thanks for this, awesome examine, this is the answrr I was looking for. Thanks