I went back and read the threads about your ex 2010-2011
That woman came to be or always was under a commitment to Hell... animated by a perverse lust for debauchery to destroy and defile the good in her life and those around her.
I've not experienced something like that... but I think the dampener she afflicted your soul with needs to go. You cannot let her take away your ability to trust, even if you never use it again and remain single for life. I would make it a mission to find at least one long committed couple which is happy and functional, just for your own healing's sake to make yourself whole.
What she did and told you was truly perverse to read. But I hope you can heal, and are healing.