Back after 10 years

[AlphaSoldier]

This is the first post I have written in almost 10 years, wow.

To recap my journey, joined the forum in 2007, dated a few girls in 07-08, met my wife in 2008, married in 2009 and had a child in 2012.

Fast forward to 2018, now I am contemplating divorce, the marriage has been over for a few years now, no connection, no feelings, no sex, no nothing, so I am calling it quits despite my daughter. I know separation is going to wreck her, but what is the alternative, 10-12 more years of abject misery?

I will not go into too much details, but these are the lessons I learned:

1) I ignored the red-flags. They were there in front of me all the time.
2) Never have a child if you are already having second thoughts
3) Never buy a house if ditto
4) AFC is the default mode of my brain SW, It takes a big big effort to change that.

Pretty obvious stuff, but marriage gets you into blue-pill mode and it is very difficult to unplug. Two years ago I thought I would stay for the sake of my child, but now I see no way forward except misery and the feeling of wasting my time. I've had sex twice with my wife in two years and, in desperation, once with a hooker. OK, my fault, but what was the alternative? Last time we had sex my wife accused me of using her. AS if she hadn't used ME to have a confortable lifestyle while she sat on her lazy ass out of work. Now she got her "dream job", time to get the fvcking ***** out of my life. I want to keep it civil, though, for the sake of my child. She's the best thing I've made in my life (with the wrong person, granted).

For the last 3 months I've been trying to unplug and swallow (again) the red-pill. I've been watching youtube stuff by Richard Cooper, Rollo, etc. Rollo was kind of a mythical guy in the forum 10 years ago, now he's got his own youtube channel in the flesh, wow.

To complicate things even further, while I'm still waiting for my wife to move out, I met this uber-hot single mummy blonde at work... and here we go again, a bad case of one-itis, 24/7 obsessed with her... back to becoming an AFC.. fvck, I wish I could go MGTOW in a remote island... but I have a fcking mortgage to pay and a child to raise.

Plan of action:

1) keep my child as my #1 priority
2) speed up the split from the exwife
3) hit the gym, become a better version of myself
4) forget the single mummy, she's out of my league anyway, difficult, I get to see her almost daily
5) date again (and this time be extra careful for red flags)
TO be honest, I am looking for a LTR because I want to give a sibling to my child (despite of the fact that a baby is A LOT of work, at 45 I am bit old for that, but I take it as a personal sacrifice for my daughter).

However, I intend to have as much no-strings-attached sex as I can (with pros or amateurs, does not matter).

Keep you posted, bros.

AlphaSoldier

 

[AlphaSoldier]

Red flags:

1. Can't cook a decent meal for you
2. Dirty place ( = she does not clean)
3. Bad sex
4. Facebook addiction
5. Poor personal hygiene

 

[AttackFormation]

Red flags:

1. Can't cook a decent meal for you
2. Dirty place ( = she does not clean)
3. Bad sex
4. Facebook addiction
5. Poor personal hygiene

Why did you make her your wife?

 

[lamath]

Man your situation is quite similar to mine

Good for you!!!
Take balls to call it quit

For me the hardest part is not seeing the kids as often

But i feel so good without her its like i have been unshakle. I feel like i was not getting enought recognition for what i was doing for her.
She was too often in a bad mood
Gained 100lbs
Complaining about everything i did wrong
No sex in 1 year ++++

Im still quite good looking and in good shape
Like wtf women how long do you think im gonna stay in something like this.
She is realy lucky i have some self control and never cheated


That oneitist get some distance. Dont look for ltr right now.


Gl sir

 

[AlphaSoldier]

Why did you make her your wife?

Because at the beginning, we had a good connection, had similar interests (books, etc), same values, same profile (both university grads), etc. I liked her physically (pretty, chubby, big tits, I am into BBW chicks, btw) too.

And, I guess, also I wanted to play Captain-Save-a-hoo.

She is not really a bad person, she is not materialistic or has a machiavelic personality. Actually, as far as I can see, her only obsession is food. Her parents did everything for her and now she expected me to do it. IMO, she's just lazy.

 

[AttackFormation]

I am into BBW chicks, btw)

Amen.

And, I guess, also I wanted to play Captain-Save-a-hoo.

This indicates that there was still something about her you still didn't tell us... but I guess you just mean saving her from her lazy habits.

 

[AlphaSoldier]

Amen.



This indicates that there was still something about her you still didn't tell us... but I guess you just mean saving her from her lazy habits.

Nah. It's just that romantic BS, poor nice girl marries prince, etc. Of course I was no prince, but I had a decent salary and was secure financially. She was freelancing and had college debts. Plus I was living in the big city and she was stuck in a provincial town.

 

[djdfuser]

I feel like i was not getting enought recognition for what i was doing for her.
She was too often in a bad mood
Gained 100lbs
Complaining about everything i did wrong (even if you did most things right)
No sex in 1 year ++++

That hit home. They think you'll never leave because of the kids. Did she ever conceed you would have been an idiot to stay?

 

[lamath]

Never conceeded anything.
But now she finds every small reason to txt/phone me creating drama with nothing

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

This is the first post I have written in almost 10 years, wow.

To recap my journey, joined the forum in 2007, dated a few girls in 07-08, met my wife in 2008, married in 2009 and had a child in 2012.

Fast forward to 2018, now I am contemplating divorce, the marriage has been over for a few years now, no connection, no feelings, no sex, no nothing, so I am calling it quits despite my daughter. I know separation is going to wreck her, but what is the alternative, 10-12 more years of abject misery?

I will not go into too much details, but these are the lessons I learned:

1) I ignored the red-flags. They were there in front of me all the time.
2) Never have a child if you are already having second thoughts
3) Never buy a house if ditto
4) AFC is the default mode of my brain SW, It takes a big big effort to change that.

Pretty obvious stuff, but marriage gets you into blue-pill mode and it is very difficult to unplug. Two years ago I thought I would stay for the sake of my child, but now I see no way forward except misery and the feeling of wasting my time. I've had sex twice with my wife in two years and, in desperation, once with a hooker. OK, my fault, but what was the alternative? Last time we had sex my wife accused me of using her. AS if she hadn't used ME to have a confortable lifestyle while she sat on her lazy ass out of work. Now she got her "dream job", time to get the fvcking ***** out of my life. I want to keep it civil, though, for the sake of my child. She's the best thing I've made in my life (with the wrong person, granted).

For the last 3 months I've been trying to unplug and swallow (again) the red-pill. I've been watching youtube stuff by Richard Cooper, Rollo, etc. Rollo was kind of a mythical guy in the forum 10 years ago, now he's got his own youtube channel in the flesh, wow.

To complicate things even further, while I'm still waiting for my wife to move out, I met this uber-hot single mummy blonde at work... and here we go again, a bad case of one-itis, 24/7 obsessed with her... back to becoming an AFC.. fvck, I wish I could go MGTOW in a remote island... but I have a fcking mortgage to pay and a child to raise.

Plan of action:

1) keep my child as my #1 priority
2) speed up the split from the exwife
3) hit the gym, become a better version of myself
4) forget the single mummy, she's out of my league anyway, difficult, I get to see her almost daily
5) date again (and this time be extra careful for red flags)
TO be honest, I am looking for a LTR because I want to give a sibling to my child (despite of the fact that a baby is A LOT of work, at 45 I am bit old for that, but I take it as a personal sacrifice for my daughter).

However, I intend to have as much no-strings-attached sex as I can (with pros or amateurs, does not matter).

Keep you posted, bros.

AlphaSoldier

Consult with a lawyer ASAP. Also, sounds like you’re approaching 10 years of marriage. In some states 10 years is the point at which a marriage is considered long term which can have alimony ramifications. So, if you’re going to end it, the sooner, the better for you financially.

And... you’re thinking LTR/another child as a “personal sacrifice for your daughter”??? Dude, go look in the mirror and slap yourself in the face, then say: “Thanks, I needed that”. WTF?? That is the last thing that should be on your mind.

This is what your priority should be:

Keeping a good healthy relationship with your child

Preparing yourself for divorce. Take it seriously. Make a plan and work it. Stay as unemotional and as rational as you can. You owe it to yourself and your child.

-Augustus-

 

[Bible_Belt]

Start converting assets to cash, and squirreling away the cash. Close joint accounts if possible, like credit cards you don't use. As soon as you drop the news, she will clean out your bank account and max out your credit cards.

The worst possible thing that could happen to you is to get baited into a domestic violence incident. She can get an order of protection banning you from your own home, then file divorce herself, taking both your house and your kid, as well as 25% of your income.

If there are some killer divorce attorneys around that you don't want to go up against in court, go visit each of them once for your free consult. Then she can't hire them due to conflict of interest.

Best case for you is a 50 50 split of everything, including custody, which would mean no child support. Don't get your hopes up. If she wants a fight, the lawyers are going to get most of the money.

 

[In2theGame]

Damn man, reading situations like this keeps me away from getting serious with any Woman no matter how wonderful she is towards me. After my last blowup LTR, It's a lesson I make sure i never forget.

 

[AttackFormation]

Start converting assets to cash, and squirreling away the cash. Close joint accounts if possible, like credit cards you don't use. As soon as you drop the news, she will clean out your bank account and max out your credit cards.

The worst possible thing that could happen to you is to get baited into a domestic violence incident. She can get an order of protection banning you from your own home, then file divorce herself, taking both your house and your kid, as well as 25% of your income.

If there are some killer divorce attorneys around that you don't want to go up against in court, go visit each of them once for your free consult. Then she can't hire them due to conflict of interest.

Best case for you is a 50 50 split of everything, including custody, which would mean no child support. Don't get your hopes up. If she wants a fight, the lawyers are going to get most of the money.

A war room walkthrough if I've ever seen one, and it's all because of what originally was supposed to be the best decision in his life... jesus christ. Enough to give you nightmares...

I remember your horror story from way back, the 5 year one. I had a similar one since then, went from a legit great woman to fvcking dozens of men in a few weeks. Crazy. Anything since?

Great woman, and then dozens of men in a few weeks..... just what the fvck? what is wrong with these women? was she pathological?

How did she act before and after "the crash"?
How did she make you know she fvcked dozens of men in a few weeks?

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Marriage?

I won't kick a guy when he's down but, if this thread and many others alike leave a afterthought about the absurdity that is marriage. Proof is in the 50% of divorce stat, 80% of which is initiated by women.

Moreover, the best years (top form SMV 18-23) allocated to the men who won't marry her dumbass. They will put on the good girl shtick and rope in some cucks.


Op, in your decade plus of absence here while playing house, I've been beating the drum of pickup and taking my **** out. The biggest lesson of a decade of pickup being, new girls are turning 18 everyday.

Act accordingly.

 

[In2theGame]

I remember your horror story from way back, the 5 year one. I had a similar one since then, went from a legit great woman to fvcking dozens of men in a few weeks. Crazy. Anything since?

Nah Man, Since my last LTR, all i have done is date and hook up with a lot of Women and quite frankly I may remain a bachelor for the rest of my life. IF and that's a big IF, I meet a girl who is the real deal then MAYBE I would consider an LTR again but honestly, I'm so guarded that I don't think I will allow myself to open up like that ever again.

 

[AttackFormation]

Nah Man, Since my last LTR, all i have done is date and hook up with a lot of Women and quite frankly I may remain a bachelor for the rest of my life. IF and that's a big IF, I meet a girl who is the real deal then MAYBE I would consider an LTR again but honestly, I'm so guarded that I don't think I will allow myself to open up like that ever again.

Jesus christ... lol. What happened?

 

[In2theGame]

Jesus christ... lol. What happened?

Long story but you can look it up from my posts of 2010.

To make a long story short, My ex girlfriend and I were together for 5 years and around the 3rd year we were talking about marriage and she and I agreed that our families should meet and do the whole 9 yards since we were leading towards marriage anyway. We were legit in love heavy duty but at the 5th year mark, the sh!t hit the fan bad. In the summer of 2010 I remember having a dream that my girlfriend was fvcking some guy, Im not making this up, I legitimately had a dream about this and I woke up with a horrible gut feeling in my stomach that I couldn't shake. I called her that morning but she never answered me which was extremely rare, Hours went by before I got an answer and I was about to call her parents to find out if everything was alright because I started panicking that something happened to her.

A few hours went by and she responded with a very short text message. No baby, No i love you just, "Hey Im getting on the train" I was thinking WTF!?? After a few days she comes over my house to get some clothes which was normal and I suggested we needed more condoms but she stopped me and said let's hold off on that. Later on i found out she was fvcking around with multiple Men and she just disappeared from my life like nothing. About 3 months after, I logged into facebook and there it was, A picture of her kissing another guy showing her engagement ring and I will probably never forget how I felt at that moment. There's a lot more to the story and I'm not going to hijack the thread but yes, I will never open up like that again. The girl before her did something similar on a much lower scale but still pre scarred me and the final nail in the love coffin was my ex.

 

[AttackFormation]

Long story but you can look it up from my posts of 2010.

To make a long story short, My ex girlfriend and I were together for 5 years and around the 3rd year we were talking about marriage and she and I agreed that our families should meet and do the whole 9 yards since we were leading towards marriage anyway. We were legit in love heavy duty but at the 5th year mark, the sh!t hit the fan bad. In the summer of 2010 I remember having a dream that my girlfriend was fvcking some guy, Im not making this up, I legitimately had a dream about this and I woke up with a horrible gut feeling in my stomach that I couldn't shake. I called her that morning but she never answered me which was extremely rare, Hours went by before I got an answer and I was about to call her parents to find out if everything was alright because I started panicking that something happened to her.

A few hours went by and she responded with a very short text message. No baby, No i love you just, "Hey Im getting on the train" I was thinking WTF!?? After a few days she comes over my house to get some clothes which was normal and I suggested we needed more condoms but she stopped me and said let's hold off on that. Later on i found out she was fvcking around with multiple Men and she just disappeared from my life like nothing. About 3 months after, I logged into facebook and there it was, A picture of her kissing another guy showing her engagement ring and I will probably never forget how I felt at that moment. There's a lot more to the story and I'm not going to hijack the thread but yes, I will never open up like that again. The girl before her did something similar on a much lower scale but still pre scarred me and the final nail in the love coffin was my ex.

Man... I don't even have any words. I understand you can't go through this again. Gonna research your posts.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This is the first post I have written in almost 10 years, wow.

To recap my journey, joined the forum in 2007, dated a few girls in 07-08, met my wife in 2008, married in 2009 and had a child in 2012.

Fast forward to 2018, now I am contemplating divorce, the marriage has been over for a few years now, no connection, no feelings, no sex, no nothing, so I am calling it quits despite my daughter. I know separation is going to wreck her, but what is the alternative, 10-12 more years of abject misery?

I will not go into too much details, but these are the lessons I learned:

1) I ignored the red-flags. They were there in front of me all the time.
2) Never have a child if you are already having second thoughts
3) Never buy a house if ditto
4) AFC is the default mode of my brain SW, It takes a big big effort to change that.

Pretty obvious stuff, but marriage gets you into blue-pill mode and it is very difficult to unplug. Two years ago I thought I would stay for the sake of my child, but now I see no way forward except misery and the feeling of wasting my time. I've had sex twice with my wife in two years and, in desperation, once with a hooker. OK, my fault, but what was the alternative? Last time we had sex my wife accused me of using her. AS if she hadn't used ME to have a confortable lifestyle while she sat on her lazy ass out of work. Now she got her "dream job", time to get the fvcking ***** out of my life. I want to keep it civil, though, for the sake of my child. She's the best thing I've made in my life (with the wrong person, granted).

For the last 3 months I've been trying to unplug and swallow (again) the red-pill. I've been watching youtube stuff by Richard Cooper, Rollo, etc. Rollo was kind of a mythical guy in the forum 10 years ago, now he's got his own youtube channel in the flesh, wow.

To complicate things even further, while I'm still waiting for my wife to move out, I met this uber-hot single mummy blonde at work... and here we go again, a bad case of one-itis, 24/7 obsessed with her... back to becoming an AFC.. fvck, I wish I could go MGTOW in a remote island... but I have a fcking mortgage to pay and a child to raise.

Plan of action:

1) keep my child as my #1 priority
2) speed up the split from the exwife
3) hit the gym, become a better version of myself
4) forget the single mummy, she's out of my league anyway, difficult, I get to see her almost daily
5) date again (and this time be extra careful for red flags)
TO be honest, I am looking for a LTR because I want to give a sibling to my child (despite of the fact that a baby is A LOT of work, at 45 I am bit old for that, but I take it as a personal sacrifice for my daughter).

However, I intend to have as much no-strings-attached sex as I can (with pros or amateurs, does not matter).

Keep you posted, bros.

AlphaSoldier

Feelings can return. But if she cheated and doesnt care to improve then your stuck. PM me. I have strategies that can help things in such a situation.

 

[AttackFormation]

Long story but you can look it up from my posts of 2010.

To make a long story short, My ex girlfriend and I were together for 5 years and around the 3rd year we were talking about marriage and she and I agreed that our families should meet and do the whole 9 yards since we were leading towards marriage anyway. We were legit in love heavy duty but at the 5th year mark, the sh!t hit the fan bad. In the summer of 2010 I remember having a dream that my girlfriend was fvcking some guy, Im not making this up, I legitimately had a dream about this and I woke up with a horrible gut feeling in my stomach that I couldn't shake. I called her that morning but she never answered me which was extremely rare, Hours went by before I got an answer and I was about to call her parents to find out if everything was alright because I started panicking that something happened to her.

A few hours went by and she responded with a very short text message. No baby, No i love you just, "Hey Im getting on the train" I was thinking WTF!?? After a few days she comes over my house to get some clothes which was normal and I suggested we needed more condoms but she stopped me and said let's hold off on that. Later on i found out she was fvcking around with multiple Men and she just disappeared from my life like nothing. About 3 months after, I logged into facebook and there it was, A picture of her kissing another guy showing her engagement ring and I will probably never forget how I felt at that moment. There's a lot more to the story and I'm not going to hijack the thread but yes, I will never open up like that again. The girl before her did something similar on a much lower scale but still pre scarred me and the final nail in the love coffin was my ex.

I went back and read the threads about your ex 2010-2011

That woman came to be or always was under a commitment to Hell... animated by a perverse lust for debauchery to destroy and defile the good in her life and those around her.

I've not experienced something like that... but I think the dampener she afflicted your soul with needs to go. You cannot let her take away your ability to trust, even if you never use it again and remain single for life. I would make it a mission to find at least one long committed couple which is happy and functional, just for your own healing's sake to make yourself whole.

What she did and told you was truly perverse to read. But I hope you can heal, and are healing.