Awful Breakup

[Desdinova]

Or maybe she'll be satisfied with trying to make herself feel better with a party. Kind of liking having a bubble bath or something. I'm not sure what the standard response to rejection is for women.

She needs her friends to stroke her ego after I non-verbally told her that she's not good enough to be my lifelong companion. I think she's more pissed about having to start the search all over again. It's tough for a woman to find a future father and husband at age 34.

 

[maverick72]

not getting laid

When you are not getting laid and you see her with another guy.

You will want her back.

***** is *****.

 

[Desdinova]

When you are not getting laid and you see her with another guy.

You will want her back.

What are you basing this on? I was with her for a measly nine months. I've had two other relationships that have lasted longer than this one. I've had countless shorter ones with women who are hotter and better in bed.

The other guy can be happy with her lack of action in the bedroom, her debt, her laziness, her fat, and the list goes on. I certainly don't want it.

 

[macagent]

When you are not getting laid and you see her with another guy.

You will want her back.

***** is *****.

Sounds like you are projecting what you would do maverick. Des seems like he's doing fine...

...But I do have a date with the hot 21 year old lined up for this evening. Hopefully, that'll help me progress

Also, please include your age in your profile if you want to post in the MM section

 

[Jitterbug]

Sounds like a pretty good breakup to me. She didn't boil your pet, didn't publicly assassinate your character, didn't threaten suicide or pregnancy, didn't stalk you, didn't go fvck your best friend immediately etc.

I consider that a highly successful end to a relationship.

To slimmer & better things, I mean, women!

 

[Desdinova]

Also, please include your age in your profile if you want to post in the MM section

Done! Not sure why It wasn't displaying before.

Sounds like a pretty good breakup to me. She didn't boil your pet, didn't publicly assassinate your character, didn't threaten suicide or pregnancy, didn't stalk you, didn't go fvck your best friend immediately etc.

You're right! I was feeling pretty 5hitty about it when i initially posted this.

 

[Ninja Dude]

So things werent working out and you just ended it like that? With conversation and an attempt at mutual understanding?

YOU MONSTER!!

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Yeah it's good that it had to happen. It's understandable why she was upset, because you guys were going on two different paths. Maybe you both knew this but decided to hang on a bit, because of the honeymoon stage?


She's not bpd, she's not psycho, she's not selfish. She as a woman at 34 is not just looking for a f*ck or a casual date. She wanted a relationship with security. You being your own person in this time in your life could not provide that, or just didn't want to. You were straight up about it. I'm sure you'd be a bit peeved if she was still f*cking other guys and couldn't commit. It's all about your own personal standards synching up with the other person.


So all around, good game. Glad the breakup wasn't worse than it could have been.

 

[Solomon]

her fat, and the list goes on. I certainly don't want it.

wHAT DO YOU CONSIDER FAT?

http://s11.allstarpics.net/images/orig/1/n/1n8e47a1wuxjjx1.jpg
^^SOME GUYS THINK SHE IS FAT, SOME GUYS THINK SHE IS CURVY, OTHERS WOULD SAY SHE IS THICK

JUST CURIOUS

 

[zekko]

wHAT DO YOU CONSIDER FAT?

http://s11.allstarpics.net/images/orig/1/n/1n8e47a1wuxjjx1.jpg
^^SOME GUYS THINK SHE IS FAT, SOME GUYS THINK SHE IS CURVY, OTHERS WOULD SAY SHE IS THICK

JUST CURIOUS

Is that Christina Hendricks? Because Christina Hendricks is hot as hell.
That, however, is the worst picture of her I have ever seen.
She looks like a whale in that one and her face looks like a zombie's.

 

[Boilermaker]

that is Christina Hendricks, of Mad Men, or Joan Holloway,

the so-called secretary from heaven

 

[Desdinova]

wHAT DO YOU CONSIDER FAT?

When her belly and her boobs are competing for the finish line. She wasn't incredible when I started dating her, and she just got fatter.

Pic of the 21 year old is in my profile

 

[backbreaker]

that is Christina Hendricks, of Mad Men, or Joan Holloway,

the so-called secretary from heaven

i thought she was cute until i saw her feet. she might have the uglyist feet on the face of the earth, look like a freaking pterodactyl just has been chewing on her big toe but had to stop and go somewhere, and she said screw it and put on shoes and went outside

 

[macagent]

Done! Not sure why It wasn't displaying before...

Actually Des, i was mentioning that for the Maverick

 

[zekko]

Pic of the 21 year old is in my profile

Why didn't you put the pic of the fat girl in your profile?

 

[Desdinova]

Why didn't you put the pic of the fat girl in your profile?

Because I never thought of putting the current girl I'm dating in there before. Might be good motivation for me to keep my standards higher when it comes to choosing who I date. During the times where I'm more desperate, I'll settle for a woman who's 'good enough'. I need to quit doing that.

 

[zekko]

Because I never thought of putting the current girl I'm dating in there before. Might be good motivation for me to keep my standards higher when it comes to choosing who I date. During the times where I'm more desperate, I'll settle for a woman who's 'good enough'. I need to quit doing that.

That's interesting. Sounds like you are using peer pressure to motivate you into dating hotter women. In other words, you want to date girls that the SoSuave boys approve of.

This reminds me of the other thread going on right now about getting self esteem from the calibre of woman that you're dating. If you date women that meet the approval of the internet community, you'll feel better about yourself.

I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong here, Des, I just find it interesting. I happen to think guys DO base a part of their self esteem on the calibre of woman that they get, in spite of the fact that so many deny it. It feels good to have a good looking woman on your arm and "show her off". Why wouldn't it? Getting a good looking woman is validation of your sexual value. That's not a good "DJ mindset", but I'm skeptical of people who deny it.

 

[squirrels]

The other guy can be happy with her lack of action in the bedroom, her debt, her laziness, her fat, and the list goes on. I certainly don't want it.

The one thing that puzzles me is why you were with her so long to begin with.

I mean, what it sounds like to me is that you didn't qualify her enough early-on...that you let her get lazy/fat/complacent and never said a word about it (maybe out of politeness/gentlemanliness) and she got the impression that she was secure in the relationship. Then you dropped the floor out from under her with something generic and safe like, "I don't want to live with someone else". (translation: It's not you, it's me. translation: It's you!)

Communication sometimes means telling people things they're not gonna want to hear. Not that you can change her...she's gonna do what she's gonna do, but by establishing your expectations, you may have given her additional motivation. I don't know if I'd tell her, "you're getting fat", but there are ways to get the point across more subtly AND more constructively/supportively. Maybe she WANTED to stay fit and interesting and just needed a little extra motivation...someone to take an interest.

What's the worst that could happen? She could could get offended or frustrated, leave you sooner, and save you some trouble.

I've heard it before from my friends' girlfriends..."why should I bother losing weight? xxxx doesn't seem to mind...who am I trying to impress?" Meanwhile, she and xxxx are bickering all the time over stupid crap and she complains how he doesn't spend any time with her. That's because xxxx is too much of a gentleman to tell his fat girlfriend that she's fat, but can't hide the fact that it bugs him, especially when his friends all have hotter girlfriends/wives.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Squirrels,
"The one thing that puzzles me is why you were with her so long to begin with." Dunno about that,when you fall off a Horse,best thing is to get back in the saddle soon as possible...Any old nag will do for starters.....Though I also failed miserably in my last bail out....Smoother if you can slip your moorings,so you maintain friendship with benefits.

 

[Desdinova]

The one thing that puzzles me is why you were with her so long to begin with.

We actually did have fun together. Nothing wrong with that. Over time it started becoming obvious that we didn't want the same things. But the first 8 months were pretty fun.

Dunno about that,when you fall off a Horse,best thing is to get back in the saddle soon as possible...Any old nag will do for starters

Scaramouche is half right on that one...

My six year marriage was lonely as hell. Almost immediately after the marriage papers were signed, she decided that she didn't have to spend time with me to make the marriage work. She would visit friends all evening, every evening. The only time I saw her was when I got up for work in the morning. Six years with little-to-no contact with a woman is a long time.

The virginal noobs will probably be able to relate better to this than most others here...

When I got back out into the dating world and found a woman willing to give me the time of day, I got really bad one-itis. Before my marriage, I was NEVER like this. I mean, I went completely ape-5hit because I couldn't spend every damn day with the woman. After six years, the attention felt so damn good and I was starved for it. I was the same way with the next girl I dated. If you don't believe me, read some of my posts from 2010. I did some really stupid 5hit.

I don't feel like that anymore. The 9 month relationship really helped me level out.

I mean, what it sounds like to me is that you didn't qualify her enough early-on...that you let her get lazy/fat/complacent and never said a word about it (maybe out of politeness/gentlemanliness) and she got the impression that she was secure in the relationship

True. She asked me out, and I said sure.

But have you ever tried to help a girl lose weight? I've tried it twice. I've lost weight before, and I know how to do it. Fat women are lazy. They don't want to work to make themselves look better. They want the easy solution, no matter how much money it costs them. I tried getting her to work out with me which was a fvcking joke. After showing a fat woman the hard work she needs to put in, you'll get the "Well, I'm going to lose weight my own way." Does their way ever work? HELL NO. Do they motivate themselves to actually do it? HELL NO.

Fat women are a lost cause. The best thing to do is find a woman who is motivated enough to take care of her body.

That's interesting. Sounds like you are using peer pressure to motivate you into dating hotter women. In other words, you want to date girls that the SoSuave boys approve of.

Yeah, that's part of it. I'm also not looking for a woman with a "nice personality" to settle down with right now, so why the hell shouldn't I date hotter women? I've done the settling down thing and it didn't work. Now I'm more focused on building up the life I've created for myself. There are NO WOMEN involved in my plan to provide a good life for myself. If I'm single, that's fine. If I'm dating a woman, that's fine too. But my life is MINE and I don't need some women sitting on the couch, playing video games and eating potato chips while I'm taking care of the housework. The North American woman is fvcking useless, so why do I need one to live with me? For the sex? For the companionship? I can get those with a woman who doesn't live with me. She can be lazy and useless in her own house. If she looks good and can fvck, great because that's all I really want right now. A nice personality, the ability to cook, and back rubs are bonuses.

But when a semi-attractive woman wants to date and you've got nobody, it's easy to say 'yes'.