Avoidant Personality Disorder

[Pulsar]

Originally posted by regulus
you just aren't capable of understanding. it's not a simple behavior, it's his personality. that's who he is. if i told you to become britney spears, could you do it?

No I couldn't become Britney Spears but that isn't the point but I think you can understand that I was refering to self-image and not something that is biologically impossible.

Oddly enough, if you did say that I was Britney Spears, and if somehow I actually believed it, then I would begin to show traits of Britney Spears in my self-image. Sure it is biologically and physically impossible to become Britney Spears, but that wouldn't stop me if I actually 'believed' that I was her.

I don't doubt that there are some people who could genuinely be diagnosed with this problem. That doesn't mean that they can't improve themselves by reading this site and trying to expand their comfort zones.

I don't believe anybody said here that if you are diagnosed with this illness, that it translates automatically into it being BS. The point most people are making is that it is important to be VERY critical of what people tell you. The reason is that if you believe what they say, it would become 'true' in your mind and all the ramifications and consequences of that will be with you forever or until something occurs that proves in your mind that what they said was false.

Now if this this person were go throughout life thinking that he has some sort of condition(when he really doesn't) he may go throughout his life using his 'condition' as an excuse to not approach. That is the worst thing about all of this. Beliefs are very powerful.

 

[thecraftylefty]

I agree completely with icepick. If you have the desire and willpower to change yourself then anything is possible. ANYTHING. The only limits that exist are in your mind.

"If your rap is strong it can't go wrong."

thecraftylefty

 

[Shiftkey]

According to the therapist ADPGuy went to, he doesn't just have a few signs of the mild anxiety disorder most of the new guys here experience. There's a big difference between normal, self-treatable anxiety and a personality disorder. And it's not just the result of a bunch of people telling him something's wrong with him. It was a person who has spent at LEAST a decade of their life studying psychological disorders, who diagnosed ADPGuy's disorder.

Why not try what others have said first and if it doesn't improve, then go to the 'professionals' ???

He could do this, but he risks throwing away more of his life if trying what the others said can't work. No offence to anyone on this thread, but I don't see how they can think they have the authority to disregard what a professional therapist has diagnosed and plans to treat with a proven method, when in all likelihood they have no real knowledge of professional psychiatry or psychology, and only their dogmatic opinions.

 

[Shiftkey]

No I couldn't become Britney Spears but that isn't the point but I think you can understand that I was refering to self-image and not something that is biologically impossible.

Funny you should say that. Did you ever think that it might be biologically impossible for APDGuy to "get over it" with his disorder? That's what a chemical imbalance is, a biological difference between a normal person and a person with the imbalance. That's why the drug is necessary. If it turns out not to be necessary, he can STOP TAKING IT!

Now if this this person were go throughout life thinking that he has some sort of condition(when he really doesn't) he may go throughout his life using his 'condition' as an excuse to not approach. That is the worst thing about all of this. Beliefs are very powerful.

This I agree with 100%, but it's still not a reason not to take medication that a PROFESSIONAL thinks should help.

 

[Don-Wan Kenobi]

Originally posted by Shiftkey
Don't listen to some of the ignorant people who replied. It's a misconception that all disorders can be self cured and that you can just "tough it out." Saying "life is hard, take control of your life" doesn't always work. They think this and preach it to you because they don't realize how real these sort of problems are. This sort of advice might work for the vast majority of people, but SOME people, like yourself most likely, REALLY DO have a chemical imbalance. And just because scientists haven't completely mapped out the human brain, it doesn't mean they don't know if a drug works or not.

Listen to the professionals.

[EDIT] I wanted to add that even if the drugs might help, don't use them as a crutch. They are a tool, but so is self improvement and taking more control of your life. Try every angle you can to help yourself.

Shiftkey, I agree with a lot of what you said. It certainly is a misconception that all disorders can be self-cured. I also agree that someone with symptoms of an avoidant personality may have a brain that works a little differently than someone without avoidant symptoms. Scientists certainly don't have a comprehensive understanding of how the brain opperates, at least not at the level where they can tell exactly how these medications effect our neurological and endochrinological functioning.

I have no doubts that pharmaceutical drugs can help with some of the symptoms our friend is experiencing. The problem is that I highly doubt they will cure him and the posibility exists that they will create more problems than they fix. That is why I agree with you one hundred percent when you advocate self-improvement, taking control of life, and trying every angle. I would further that by saying our friend should resort to medication as a last resort.

He is not psychotic. He is not endangering himself or any other. He should be in control of his treatment. If he has not exhausted all other resources, the psychiatrist's office is the last place he should look for help - they will push pills. That's what they do, and for every individual who cannot function off of pills, there are several individuals who will experience horrible side-effects from taking pills they are better off without.


The problem with listening to professionals is that psychiatrists are quick to put anybody on medications. How many patients leave their office without heading directly to a pharmacy? None. Their job is to diagnose illness and treat illness with medication. Do not expect them to perform otherwise or to even think of the words "I can't help you" let alone say them.

He could do this (turn to other options), but he risks throwing away more of his life if trying what the others said can't work. No offence to anyone on this thread, but I don't see how they can think they have the authority to disregard what a professional therapist has diagnosed and plans to treat with a proven method, when in all likelihood they have no real knowledge of professional psychiatry or psychology, and only their dogmatic opinions.

You bring up a valid point: nobody on this thread has (I'll use the words "enough information") to disregard what a professional therapist has diagnosed. We have no indicator of how severe ADPGuy's symptoms are or of how likely they are to be responsive to medical treatment. Furthermore, we have no clear understand of what ADPGuy's symptoms are. We have his personal account but not a working, real-life relationship where we can examine his behavior up close and personal. That being said, nobody here is in a position to give specific advice. However, I maintain my position that medication should be reserved for extreme circumstances because truth be told, the medical profession has very little knowledge of how drugs work and of how they change the way our bodies function. If I was psychotic, I'd look into them. If I had a case of the blues, I'd hide from them. There is certainly a large, grey area.

I have met hundreds of individuals who have gotten absolutely nowhere with conventional medical treatment for psychiatric illness. Often, these individuals fall into the category of "personality disordered." A common trend among them is an unwillingness to take matters into their own hands and challenge themselves. Even worse, others establish their entire life around the system and seem to prefer clinical attention and medical intervention over any means of self-initiative and improvement. If you are not satisfied, ask any "professional" whether or not they agree. Medications do not cure patients and no matter the severity of illness, a patient must work hard to overcome obstacles.

Just as our friend cannot easily "change" his personality by monitoring his thoughts and behaviors, he will not be able to change his personality with drugs. He can still take the drugs, but unless he lives with severe illness, they may do more harm than good and he will still have a lot of work cut out for him (maybe more if they fvck up his hormone levels, make him violent, hypomanic, suicidal, or depersonalized). If you want to buy into what they teach in psych 100 then by all means, go ahead. I've help teach those classes for three consecutive years so I can mouth the rhetoric back to you. It's a different story when you leave the confines of happy, college PhDville and spend a couple years working for psychiatrists and their patients, and really see the system for what it is, good and bad.

ADPGuy, I encourage you to take responsibility for your treatment. Be proactive. If drugs help make it easier for you to work through your issues and you feel you can trust your doctor, then you have a reason to stay on them and it is (should be) your decision entirely whether or not you stay on them. If you're here because you are looking to have more success with women, realize that you have a lot of work cut out for you. You'll have to do the work, just like everyone else. I wish you all the luck in your endeavors. Keep us posted.

DWK

 

[IntermediateDonJuaner]

I couldn't agree more with pulsar and DWK this time

Pulsar is right on the belief thing. Go read Psycho Cybernetics for more information.

DWK is right. Medication should be the last resort. The psychiatrists will have to do their best to make patients go for medication. Otherwise, what are they going to do in the clinics and hospitals? Sitting down doing nothing?? I still disagree with the DSM-IV as it has many theories which showed almost everyone around you is suffering from psychotic symptoms. Urgh, ADPGuy, I suggest you read Psycho Cybernetics and the book I recommended call "Mastering your mood: You may not have to take drugs if you read this book" By Dr. Melvyn Kinder.

Please, Please, Please Read these two books!!

 

[RKTek]

ADPGuy (actually, that should be APD) it's very good that you recognize you have a problem and are willing to not only admit it, but have volunteered for treatment. This in itself shows you do not have the full-blown and much harder to correct "disorder". People who have real disorders have a mild clue there's something wrong, but use weird maladaptive techniques to get along in society. They rarely admit even to themselves there's a problem, much less show up for treatment. The fact that you've presented yourself to a professional to talk about it, and have even admitted it on this board shows you're a very healthy individual with a slight neurotic twist which can most definitely be changed for the better.

You have "traits". Keep in mind that everyone has traits. Traits are like paint on wood. "Disorder" is like the grain of the wood. Paint can be scraped off, it can be repainted, and the color can change. But the underlying grain of the wood is throughout the wood. It cannot be changed. That is the difference between 'traits' and 'disorder'. You have traits, which can be changed.

Changing your traits is the same as making up your mind to work out in the gym to get a body like Vin Diesel, or Brad Pitt. It takes committment and it's often long, tedious work. Sometimes the results seem elusive and your work can feel counterproductive because there will be hills and valleys in your outcome.

You can and actually have already started to change. Keep it up.

HOO-rah.

 

[simplyme]

Where is this APDguy anyway? Did his therapist tell him to stay away from here, in order not to be confused by us?

 

[ADPGuy]

I have been reading. I was waiting to reply after I went to the doctor this afternoon.

I think I misled everybody; I remember him saying I had a severe personality style like APD. I didn't really go into enough detail about my particular situation.

I use to be very loud and obnixous in classes until about puberty, and my body started to change. I started to get skinny, weak and he's gay comments. I have a very low opinion of my body.

I just started a new college this semester and at the very beginning of the semester I was doing a lot better..I was going to parties and gradually making progress. I was too quiet around gorgeous women, but I could stumble through a conversation with a pretty girl.

For some reason I had a terrible relapse that I am in now. I'm acting strangely to other people and its snowballing on me. Obviously, they notice I'm uncomfortable in crowds and start to make "he's gay comments" because they are ignorant about me.

The counselor doesn't want to put me on Paxil indefinitely. He said at the max it would be 6 months. I think he's doing that so relieve tension on me and make change easier. According to him, when I implement the techniques he's going to teach me while I'm doped and not parazlyed for social interaction, it'll stick when I'm off of it.

This was a last choice. My life is miserable. The only thing that makes me happy is learning martial arts and submission fighting(which I'm horrible at, but will be good). If I could do it 5 days a week, and when I go home for the summer I'll probably spend as much time as possible training. Its a good relief for anger. I'm pretty sure fighting makes me feel better because I'm improving the area of my life that caused all the pain(weak, bullied by bigger kids) Its all I think about. I could probably pound my fist against the wall until I bleed and feel great.

I think taking Paxil for a short time will do be good. I almost didn't agree to taking it, but its helping me focus. My depression is leading to frustration. Before I went to the doctor, I could get confident for a few hours, and then I'd crash and feel like shi*. I was hoping he would help me beat it out of me for good.

 

[thissucks003]

ADP,

I haven't read all of the replies and if this has been already stated, forgive me.

You really need to force yourself to put yourself in front of people. Take an acting class, do improv, comedy or just plain get a job were you have to talk in front of people for many hours in the day. You have to jump into the pool sometimes to learn how to swim. No one can help you but yourself. Taking the initiative to do martial arts training is great. That's a great start. But you need to keep setting the limit higher and get to the point when where the fear becomes less and less when it will become just natural to be around other's without the thought of fear.

TS

 

[simplyme]

That is a common thing, and it is programmed. The way you tell it even I had such an episode, that lasted quite some years (exactly zero friends that time, and a desperate onesided love too. I actually thought, my communication skills were genuinely f*ed up, and I missed something important, that I should have learned subconciosly in early childhood. Big stinky bull* of course.). You were physically disadvantaged in a group (pubescent teens) where that really mattered. Therefore all people were laughing at you, and now it is hardwired in your brain, that people laugh at you for reasons that are always present and beyond your control.

I could get confident for a few hours, and then I'd crash and feel like shi*.

You are heading towards the end of this. There were those few months, when I went out full of hopes every morning and cried in bed almost every evening. That was the end of that episode.
My advice: well, not much to add to the previous posts. Now, that you give a good nonchemical reason for it all, I am even more convinced, your doctor is wrong.
I say it once again: Be afraid, feel like cr@p, ask yourself "why am I doing this" but do it anyway. Go out and approach people (3 sec. rule btw.)!
You cannot change the way you are and you cannot change the way you feel.
You CAN change the way you act. Do it and everything else will change by itself.
GOOD LUCK!

 

[icepick]

Originally posted by Shiftkey:

I just started Paxil and haven't noticed any positive effects yet.

This leads me to believe your disorder is legit. I'm taking psychology right now, and my teacher was just talking about misdiagnosing and the effect of medications (and placebo). She mentioned that people who get misdiagnosed and start taking medication like Paxil often feel the effects of the drug right away. This is always placebo, so the problem had more to do with negative thoughts than a chemical imbalance. According to my teacher it takes at least a couple of weeks for these drugs to start taking effect enough for you to notice a difference.

Just because the "medications" perscribed by the so-called "professionals" actually WORK does not mean that we should blindly take them if we have a "chemical imbalance". Placebos work when the person is thinking "Oh, I USED to have a problem, but it is fixed now...now that I have the medication." For a person like this, they are just telling themselves that they have a problem, but they do not. ADPGuy probably DOES have a chemical imbalance. This does not mean that he needs drugs. What if he were able to change his "chemical imbalance" HIMSELF? The brain is a very complex organ, ADPGuy just needs to find a "thought pattern" (for lack of a better word) that keeps him from feeling so inadequate.

Just because I say "Don't take the drugs!" does not mean that there is no problem, or chemical imbalance. Most likely, when people DO get diagnosed, there IS a problem.

But does that mean that they should throw in the towel and take the pills?

Let me give you an example.

Rejection. It is hard on us all. Back when we were AFCs we feared it, many of us feared it more than anything else. Most people fear rejection, it creates inhibitions. We refrain from doing things that we believe will make people reject us. Many people drink alcohol. It is no surprise that, while inebriated, many people are social, loud, have sex, and get into fights. Alcohol has always been called the "liquid panty remover", but I don't think that alcohol will MAKE a girl horny...she already IS, but alcohol removes the inhibitions, and allows her to follow her desires--since she does not care about being called a slut.

Anyway, getting back to the point, remember when you were becoming a "DJ" and had to get rid of that "I am afraid of rejection" mindset? There were a few options:

--Drink lots of beer at partys so you can approach the HBs

--Approach anyway, ignoring your fears of rejection

--Change your attitude until you are no longer afraid, then approach

These three choices can be paraphrased as:

--Drugs
--Toughing It Out
--Changing Yourself

Shiftkey, you think I am saying for him to "Tough It Out", ignore his pain, and just try to plow through this problem. I am not. That does not work if the fear is as debilitating as it is. I am advocating for him to change his outlook on things, change his perception of things, until the fear and anxiety dissappears.

I used to be the same way as him. Although maybe his problem is MUCH more severe, that does not mean he should just give up. Just because it is 10 or 100 times more difficult for him doesn't mean that he should just "give up" without even trying.

Don't listen to some of the ignorant people who replied. It's a misconception that all disorders can be self cured and that you can just "tough it out." Saying "life is hard, take control of your life" doesn't always work. They think this and preach it to you because they don't realize how real these sort of problems are. This sort of advice might work for the vast majority of people, but SOME people, like yourself most likely, REALLY DO have a chemical imbalance. And just because scientists haven't completely mapped out the human brain, it doesn't mean they don't know if a drug works or not.

The drugs WORK. The question is should you take them. I say no, it is a cop-out. If you want to give up, that is your descision. Just know that, just because a problem is "difficult" does not mean you should not try to find a solution. If your problem is as difficult as it seems, then after you conquer that, everything else will seem like childsplay.

I am saying that it is possible to change a chemical imbalance WITHOUT drugs. This is what I mean when I say "Science hasn't mapped out the brain completely." How many thousands of times has someone been "cured" of ANYTHING (cancer, illness, mental diseases) and the so-called "professionals" had NO IDEA how or why it happened?

There is more to us than meets the eye.

I don't know if you read the Bible at all, or belive in it, but remember when Jesus was crusing around healing people? It talked about "demons" invading people. Jesus saw a crazy person and "cast out" the demons. The "demons" are METAPHORICAL, they are "demons" of the mind. He cast them out of people by himself. Does that mean that he infused them with drugs? No. He freed the minds of the people that were "possesed". He also said something to the effect that if we "call on his name", we can cast the demons out also.

WTF! Icepick has become a religious nutjob!!!

NO! This does not mean that people must say "oh jesus, jesus, save me from this poision!" Or anything like that. People that do that are retarded. They think that since they are privy to the knowledge in thier religion (the one and only one they think--everyone else is going to hell they try to believe) that they should be "rewarded" by calling out proper names and performing esoteric rituals. No, the Bible is self explanitory. There is a section in the old testament that parallels Jesus. It refers to him in the feminine and calls the "son of god" wisdom. Wisdom, what is wisdom but reason and logic? No, not "nerd logic", that is ignoring your feelings and acting like a computer. Wisdom refers to REAL logic, taking feelings into consideration.

So, we have a religious dogma reduced to real life terms. It makes more sence now. It is said that if we have faith in Jesus we can do anything. It is said that if we call on the name of Jesus it will happen. But the religious nuts get it all wrong. Jesus is simply a personification of wisdom. (His entire "life story" in the Bible is all symbolic. His entire life was a symbol.) All we have to do is call on reason and wisdom, and we are able to solve all of our own problems OURSELVES.

How do we know this? Well, it was said "noone knows God but through the Son (jesus)" or something like that. What is God? The word that they use in the Bible for God simply means I AM. What is that? What kind of description is that for a God? Well, the only thing that we can think of is that God is not that which does not exist. God is not that which is false. Therefore, God is TRUTH.

Noone knows the truth but through reason.

We should not limited by ourselves. We should be only limited by the truth.

The truth is that I can not shoot laser beams out of my forehead. I should not try. This is a limitation for me.

However, there is no reason that I should not be fvcking supermodels. There is no limitation there? Is there? Is there anything physically stopping me from fvcking supermodels? No. Well then if I want to, I should be able to.

Do you doubt the power of reason? Look at science to day, the epitome of reason and wisdom (although they do not always follow reason when USING the things that they have discovered...) We can clone other living things. We may soon be able to prolong our lives by stopping the aging process. We have landed on the moon, smashed atoms, learned how the body works, etc.

Look at the successful people. Do you doubt them? They solved thier own problems and became great. They did not use drugs to get where they got. They used wisdom and reason to overcome all thier mental and physical obsticales in life.

We can call on wisdom to rid us of our metaphorical "demons". We do not need fancy drugs to reveal our "true" selfs.

Listen to the professionals.

Do not listen to the professionals. Listen to yourself. If you feel that you can only overcome this problem with drugs, then what is to stop you from "giving up" on other things in your life? In todays cloistered modern life people throw around the terms "professional" like they are some sort of holders of truth or something.

If they did know the truth, they would stop doing lab tests, and studys, and would never change thier minds about anything.

Doctors are YOUR tool. They are not your master. You do not go "Doctor, how do you cure me...", you say "Doctor, what are your thoughts?" They do not know everything, they are stuck in thier world of "doctorism". They HAVE to belive that some things are only curable with a pill because if they didn't they would not be there. (And we all know that everything can be proven, right or not.)

You have to find your own way.

However, if you want to take the drugs...more power to you. Maybe they will help, just keep what I said in mind. Do not mindlessly swallow everything that "medical science" feeds you. There does exist things that are beyond doctor's comprehension. They can be helpful...in moderation.

 

[Santos]

Originally posted by ADPGuy

A few weeks ago I was diagnosed as having Avoidant Personality Disorder traits. I do not think I have it severely, but its enough to make my life very miserable.

Sometimes I really hate psycholgists. You've been told you have "Avoidant Personality Disorder", and have been given some medication to make you feel better.

APD is just a label. Psychologists always seem to make some things sound as they are some sort of DISEASE and you can't fix it without medication. That's BULLSH!T. I'm sure in some cases it can be "chemical", but more often than not I feel it's IN YOUR HEAD.

It's just like If I go to some psychologist and say "Hi. I often get nervous meeting new people. I never speak up in groups and I'm very quiet." Then the psychologst says "You are an introvert. Take some medicine to make you relax."

They give you medication, when all you really need is to work on your confidence, social skills and self-esteem.

I was also like you. Very afraid of social situations, avoiding people, worrying about everyone around me, thinking they are making fun of me, etc. I'm still a fairly queit guy. But I can meet new people now and I don't think like that at all.

My only problem now is I'm fairly queit. If that can be called a problem. But at least I can meet people now and I no longer worry about what's going on in every one elses heads. I changed WITHOUT a psychologist. I am MY OWN psychologist.

Don't think this APD is an incurable disease. It's most probablly psychological. If I were you I'd go onto Google.com and type "shyness". There's a lot of great stuff out there. Change takes time, I'm still changing 4 years later.

Good luck!
Santos

 

[krd]

Just thought I'd bring back this thread, because it seems as if the attitude is if you call yourself an Avoidant, it means you are copping out, unwilling to take on any of the responsibility yourself, and expecting some doctor to "fix" you. I don't think this is true. I've been on the AvPD website, and it's funny how similar the examples are to my situation.

http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/3764/

But that doesn't mean I'm not willing to do any of the work. Many times, I've made what I'd hoped and even believed was progress, but now I find myself no further than I was three years ago, and just as frustrated. About a month ago I lost much of my appetite over the thought of having to call a girl on the phone in an attempt to make plans with her. Every single time I had to do it brought me undue amounts of stress and anxiety (I never got anywhere with her--read my posts). I am only now beginning to be able to call my best buddy on the phone without my heart beating fast. And when I go out, I can never fully enjoy myself, because I am upset over not being able to get up the courage to do the things this site says I should do. Why would I go out at all if I wasn't intent on changing this?

So in a way, it's comforting to know that there's a name to what I have, because it means that people know what it is and have at least made an effort to try and understand it. If there are people or places out there willing to help me out, why not give them a try? The reason why such things as "DJ Boot Camp" and the DJ Bible fall short of being effective is that there is no one there to work with you or push you. You are basically reading words on a screen. A professional may be able to give you exercises to help you overcome your difficulties, check in with your progress, and modify the program if things aren't working out, provided you are willing to put in the effort.

But it's an overly simplistic point of view to just say "snap out of it." I remember as a teen when I was basically starving myself because I thought I was fat (despite never weighing more than 120 lbs). I knew it could eventually kill me, but I was just so scared at the thought of gaining weight that I was willing to sacrifice my health. If it wasn't for an intervention from my doctor urging my parents to stick me in the hospital immediately, who knows if I would still be alive today? There's nothing wrong with trying to handle things on your own, but sometimes the help and guidance of professionals is necessary to get you on track.

Now I, myself, am apprehensive about being put on medication. I'm not against taking medication, but I was on Prozac for a time and in my opinion, it didn't help me much. In a week I have an appointment with a doctor for the possibility of getting tested for anxiety. The objective, unfortunately, is to test out new medication. But my reason for going is to be pointed in the right direction for seeking treatment for AvPD, which I believe is my real problem. People have to remember that a doctor can't make you take something you don't want to take. You always have the power to turn it down. It's absolutely true that many doctors as well as patients view medication as a cure-all, and that it will solve all their problems. But without the effort on your part, it isn't going to be much help. You have to stand firm and let them know if you don't think you need it (which can be hard for an AvPD, but necessary nonetheless).

 

[icepick]

Okay, I will write a little bit here, but I have to hit the hay in a bit...

Everybody has, in thier mind, an emotion associated with everything. Mindset is everything.

Let's take a peak into an ADP's brain, shall we?

Flipping through the emotions; happiness, anger, sadness, here we go:

DEBILITATING FEAR

Now we shall see just WHAT situations bring this emotion about:

- Social Situations
- Self or Family being brutally attacked
- Impending death, punishment, or unknown super-bad thing
- etc., etc., etc.

Oh no! We have to cure this poor, poor soul!

OK Mr. ADP, we have decided that you should "tough it out". F*ck fear, who cares. Be strong, etc., etc. (You know the mantras.)

By doing THIS, what is happening in this guys mind?

He is trying to supress/destroy/eliminate/whatever, the emotion of DEBILITATING FEAR.

He will fail. He will fail because you cannot just "eliminate" an emotion, you can only CHANGE what that emotion is associated with.

How do we do this? Simple. Change the mindset.

Obviously, in Mr. ADP's world, people hold WAY too much importance. On the level of gods even, with the effect they have on him. We have to convince Mr. ADP that people are just that....PEOPLE. They are not gods. You should not have a profound fear of them.

So we change his mindset. This can be done in many ways, but I will give a quick example.

Let's say we convince him that he is the incarnation of God on earth. All of these people are his children, and he has to help and care for them.

If he BELIEVES this, his mindset will change, and the emotion of DEBILITATING FEAR will no longer be associated with people. How can he be afraid? He is thier god!

That emotion will STILL BE THERE, just "tied" to something else. (Maybe the thought of him not having enough love or something.)

Anyway, the POINT here is that YOU create YOUR OWN WORLD. You create your own truth. What you believe BECOMES your reality. Look at all the religions out there. Each person who truly BELIEVES in them will DIE for what they believe.

Which religion is right? None of them, and all of them.

This fact shows the rest of US that reality is truly in the eye of the beholder. Sculpt your reality to that which best suits you, and you will be happy.

 

[optic]

Icepick, amen

 

[krd]

Originally posted by icepick
Anyway, the POINT here is that YOU create YOUR OWN WORLD. You create your own truth. What you believe BECOMES your reality. Look at all the religions out there. Each person who truly BELIEVES in them will DIE for what they believe.

Probably why I'm not a religious person. But changing your mindset is not something that can be done on a whim. All the things that have happened to you throughout your life have caused you to react in certain ways. As time goes on, these reactions become more and more ingrained. There will always be a few people who have the will to just snap themselves out of it, but in the same way that a sick person is more likely to recover with the care and support of other people, so is the case with an emotionally troubled person. Why deny the help if it's available to you? Especially if everything you've been doing on your own up to this point is not working; it's probably a sign that it's time to change your strategy.

I've been coming to this site for about 2 1/2 years, read many of the articles and the threads in the DJ Bible, but I am still treading water out in the real world. Generally after a few months of being here, from what I read, even the newbies fresh into high school seem to show some improvement. Does that make me less determined or serious about it than they are? I don't think so. There has to be some underlying problem that is causing me to constantly hit that brick wall.

Like I said before, I'm not against taking medication. I'm stilll keeping it as one of my options. But I'm not sure that the meeting I've got in a week with the doctor will be geared toward my situation. The purpose appears to be to test medications for general anxiety, which I don't believe is specifically my problem. The receptionist assured me that there was no commitment, and that I wasn't obligated to take any drug if I didn't want to. So I intend to bring up AvPD during the meeting and see if he can give me more information on what I should do about that instead. Even on the internet, there doesn't seem to be a heck of a lot of information on how and where to seek treatment. So I'll use this experience as an opportunity to try and find out.

 

[Ninja Dude]

Let's say we convince him that he is the incarnation of God on earth. All of these people are his children, and he has to help and care for them.

icepick, you are so fukking on point it is ridiculous. Much respect to you for

a) possessing such inherent wisdom
b) sharing it with us

The power of mindset is staggering, yet so many people relinquish that power to modern science/drugs/medicine. These fukkin quacks will keep coming up with labels for regular human fear so they can exploit it and sell their fukkin poison!!

Avoidant Personality Disorder??? What-the-fukk-ever!!
You are fukkin SHY dude!! There is nothing genetic or physical about that!

Do yourself a favor and read one of the best threads I have seenon this site:

destroying social phobias

Mr. Fingers breaks it down perfectly, you wont be the same after reading this!

Get over your shyness and stop using this medical term as a fukking cop-out for your fears. I am sorry I have used so much profanity here, but I cant help being passionate about this topic.

 

[krd]

I can't speak for Mr. APDguy, but I believe I just finished saying that I am not trying to cop out of anything. I am simply identifying the problem. That doesn't mean I'm not willing to put in the effort to try and change things.

Mr. Fingers' thread: read it. I agree it's a good one.

 

[Ninja Dude]

It's good to hear you talk some sense, krd.

Sounds like you are ready to handle your problems instead of taking the easy way out. It sincerely bothers me how western society want everything to be so damn easy.

You're sad? Take some prozac
Socially Inept? Here have some Paxil!

I have no problems with the doctors themselves. Indeed there are a few MDs in my family and they are generally good people who want to help their fellow men and make a positive difference. My problem is with the curriculum they are forced to study in Med school. The publlishers of these books are the same fukkers who manufacture the drugs they advocate! The docs are just following their training, but it's the TRAINING that is flawed and corrupt!

Perfect example of why I am so passionate about this....

My mom had gallstones and the doctor prescribed removing her gallbladder. She trusted him implictly so she agreed. There were some complications during the procedure and she DIED during surgery! Now, my sister had the same problem adn the docs prescribed surgery and she was like "no fukkin way!" a friend of hers put her on to some real holistic treatments and all she had to do was fast for a day, drink some olive oil and lemon juice and then she shytted out all of her gallstones, naturally and painlessly.

Living proof that Nature will always provide the best cure.

Drugs are never the answer. Case closed.