sexual_intellectual
Don Juan
She only put it that way so her friends wouldn't laugh at her for finding Fred Durst hot!
Attraction Is Not A Choice??
- Thread starter ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
- Start date
Physical attraction is not something that can be created or changed without surgery. So you must learn to work with what you have in that arena. But men have a little advantage over women. Physical attraction is only a small protion of what a woman looks for. For example, when you look at a woman you immediatly know whether or not she is hot. What you are looking at is her physical beauty, clear complexion, hourglass figure, symmetry, etc... A woman's brain reacts in somewhat the same way. They don't think about what they see they just know. But their brain is programmed to look at how a man holds himself, more then just how he physically looks. Don't get me wrong, physical attraction plays a role in a womans brain, just not as big a role as with a man. A women will look at how man man holds himself, how he stands, whether or not he's sure of himself. And just like you know immediatly that a woman is hot, a woman's brain knows immediatly whether or not a man is self-confident so it's not something that you can pretend, you just have to have it.
So you may not be able to do anything about the shape of your face, but you can work on two things. You can increase the attractivness of your body by working out and exercising, because physical prowess plays a large role in making you attractive to the opposite sex. Working out will also help you achieve the other thing; your self-assurance and self confidence. That's a little bit trickier then just lifting weights though.
As creatures of habit we learn by experience. That means that our subconsious has to experience something for it to become strengthened in our mind. That is how you are going to have to learn to be more self-assured. Put yourself into situations where you'll have to stand up for yourself. The key is to stop thinking about the consequences of your actions in certain situations. The more you think about it the more you will end up talking yourself out of doing it. The more you succeed the easier it will get. Not only will it get easy, but after a while it will become second nature. And it's that "second naturedness" of self-assurance and self-confidence that women's brain will find attractive about you beyond anything else.
Anyway, I hope that helps.
-Al
tmpgstx
Master Don Juan
Well said AL .. attraction is also in the eye of the beholder.
For example, some guys will be head over heals for a girl that i won't think is attractive in the least bit. Something about her face usually that i don't like etc.
On the other hand, the girls i do find attractive - most guys seem to think she is the bomb too.
A girl can have a super nice body, but if her face is ugly, i won't have that raging hard on for her.
Some of human attaction is conscienceand some of it is unconscience. Many times our conscience will over-ride our subconscience.
I found an awesome post on attraction and i recommend everyone read it - very well done, and can be found here:
http://www.eddyelmer.com/diary/diarystart.html?http://www.eddyelmer.com/diary/2003_Oct_31_diary.htm
For example, some guys will be head over heals for a girl that i won't think is attractive in the least bit. Something about her face usually that i don't like etc.
On the other hand, the girls i do find attractive - most guys seem to think she is the bomb too.
A girl can have a super nice body, but if her face is ugly, i won't have that raging hard on for her.
Some of human attaction is conscienceand some of it is unconscience. Many times our conscience will over-ride our subconscience.
I found an awesome post on attraction and i recommend everyone read it - very well done, and can be found here:
http://www.eddyelmer.com/diary/diarystart.html?http://www.eddyelmer.com/diary/2003_Oct_31_diary.htm
ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
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well actually
according to DYD, women dont get turned on by good looking guys. They found them intrigueing and curious about them in interaction with the women.
Al, it's not like i dont wanna be in shape, but i have a fast metabolism. that means, it's not easy for me to gain pounds that fast. i was born with this so called curse. im 6 fts and 136 pounds. however, i still trying very hard to gain more weights more. So since i lack of advantage, and im probably the only chinese where i live in ( lots of white hotties there anyway) i just wanted to hope that ****y+funny (bust women balls), dominance, and antipation will increase my chances by a lot. cuz i believe that hb usually go out with either buff or strong white guys and skater dudes. this perspective makes want to be better than them on sucess with women. now i believe nothing is impossible, is just that i need a good way. So i hope DYD will help me by alot.
according to DYD, women dont get turned on by good looking guys. They found them intrigueing and curious about them in interaction with the women.
Al, it's not like i dont wanna be in shape, but i have a fast metabolism. that means, it's not easy for me to gain pounds that fast. i was born with this so called curse. im 6 fts and 136 pounds. however, i still trying very hard to gain more weights more. So since i lack of advantage, and im probably the only chinese where i live in ( lots of white hotties there anyway) i just wanted to hope that ****y+funny (bust women balls), dominance, and antipation will increase my chances by a lot. cuz i believe that hb usually go out with either buff or strong white guys and skater dudes. this perspective makes want to be better than them on sucess with women. now i believe nothing is impossible, is just that i need a good way. So i hope DYD will help me by alot.
Exactly right, women (and men) have threshholds on who they will date. For example, a guy whos a 9 on a girls scale is of course hot. But she might be willing to go out with a 6, whos not hot but his personality could make up for it. Of course if your a 5 to her your screwed cuz your below her threshhold of a 6. So yes looks matter a LOT. Women and men know almost as soon as they meet someone wether they would ever go out with them or not. And the closer you are to her threashhold the more your personality will have to make up for your lack of looks.
Heres a real life example, I was having a conversation with a girl that was head over heels for me. She thought I was one of the hottest guys she ever met. She loved my personality. She broke up with her BF for me. So basically I was the best overall guy she ever met. But I asked her would she date me if I was an inch shorter then her. She said no. So as you can see that one physical quality would cancel out everything she felt for me. Is tihs shallow? yes but its also how our world works.
If a dating book your trying to buy claims you can get any women you want regardless of your looks they are lying. They are just trying to make money off of you.
Re: well actually
Hey, I'm also thin but not as tall as you are. I'm only 5'8" 118lbs but then I got the DYD ebook, I also got Ross J's Fast SeductionMethod. It didn't apply that well because I didn't found what is working really. Especially where I came from. OK I admit I did meet them, the meeting technique works, but to build the attraction, or what DYD mention the sexual tension is hard to build unless you figure out whats work for you. You will never found anything in the DYD unless you apply what you have learned. So go ahead. use the teansistion, keep on advancing whenever there are upportunity. you will soon figure out whats working.
BobbDobbs
Senior Don Juan
Neither men nor women can always get the mate they really want. He or she may already be taken -- or if in demand by others, too costly or risky.
So although physical looks weigh heavily in both male and female choices in mates, other factors, including supply and demand, come into play.
I think the concept of acceptable range is useful in dealing with both men and women. If you are in a woman's range, she'll consider other factors. If you're outside her acceptable range, nothing is going to do it for you -- except money -- you can bag a lot of hot babes if you have a lot of money -- even if you are a wrinkled up old 89 year old prune.
So although physical looks weigh heavily in both male and female choices in mates, other factors, including supply and demand, come into play.
I think the concept of acceptable range is useful in dealing with both men and women. If you are in a woman's range, she'll consider other factors. If you're outside her acceptable range, nothing is going to do it for you -- except money -- you can bag a lot of hot babes if you have a lot of money -- even if you are a wrinkled up old 89 year old prune.
biker_gixxer
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LOL, i wouldn't know who she's dating bro, the girl wasn't a friend of mine, she was an acquaintance. However, I have known hot girls that have found ugly, normal guys attractive. Actually, I know this HB9 who's married to an ugly, skinny, short guy. Makes no sense...Originally posted by diablo
I don't disagree that it's easier for a more unattractive guy to get a more attractive girl. I guess I haven't come across too many people who say "He's not really my type, but there's something about him"... Perhaps I'm just a cynic. My first reaction when you brought up what your friend said about Fred Durst was to question if she'd still feel the same way about him if he wasn't a super-rich and ultra-famous rock star. After all, is she dating a fat and ugly 'normal' guy right now?
biker_gixxer
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I wonder if all the really hot girls he's banged like Britney Spears do the same thing...
squirrels
Master Don Juan
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If he did THAT on here, who would buy the books and tapes?
You don't need to buy books and tapes to pick up girls. As I always say, if it looks to good to be true, it is. No magic pill is going to help you, only you can help you. Here's the only tip you need. Instead of worrying about how your acting, what you're doing right, or what you're doing wrong, just don't think about it. Let your instincts do all the thinking for you, they know what they're doing, 200 million years of mammalian evolution can't go wrong. And for christ sake, don't be afraid to fail. They're not going to laugh at you behind your back or call you names. And if they do, they weren't worth your time anyway.
Ok, you want a tip that works? Sincere flattery will get you everywhere. Make a girl feel like she's the most beautiful creature in the room and she's all yours. Just don't be corney about it, be sincere, say it like you utterly and truely believe it.
-Al
Ok, you want a tip that works? Sincere flattery will get you everywhere. Make a girl feel like she's the most beautiful creature in the room and she's all yours. Just don't be corney about it, be sincere, say it like you utterly and truely believe it.
-Al
-HPNOTIQ-
Master Don Juan
I read every post above this one I am writing, and it all boils down to the same thing...
One guy says this woman likes guys with great bodies, one guy says this woman prefers guys with money, yet agan - another fella says that women prefer guys with nice clothes.
Honestly - you guys are both right and wrong in your assumptions whether or not women prefer looks, money, brains, etc. But, I think it comes down to AGE factor of the woman when it comes to Interest level.
Here is a simple test...
Go to any web dating service like match.com. Browse around. Read the section where it discusses what the woman is looking for in a man.
With the younger ages (18-22). They are all looking for a physically attractive, tall, athletic, guy - not really caring what kind of money he has...rather, focusing on his physical traits.
Now, go higher with age (24-28), these women may still want a guy who is physically attractive, tall, athelic - but, it becomes a lot less important. They are looking for a well rounded man, educated, making money, taking care of business.
Now, go even high with age (29+), these women are more concerned with a guy that has his stuff together financially and emotionally, rather than physically. Some care less if you have kids and a belly, rather more concerned if you're educated and not living in your parent's basesment for the past 35 years.
In summary, IL is determined by a woman's past experiences with men. The younger - the more she is turned on by the physical aspects. The older - those things dont matter as much.
This doesn't mean that all the older fellas can go out and scarf down a box of Krispey Kremes. But, the chances you land that "10" are increased with being well rounded.
Physical, mental, emotional, confident in your direction and able to make others around you feel better about themselves. Who wouldnt want to be around a person like that?
One guy says this woman likes guys with great bodies, one guy says this woman prefers guys with money, yet agan - another fella says that women prefer guys with nice clothes.
Honestly - you guys are both right and wrong in your assumptions whether or not women prefer looks, money, brains, etc. But, I think it comes down to AGE factor of the woman when it comes to Interest level.
Here is a simple test...
Go to any web dating service like match.com. Browse around. Read the section where it discusses what the woman is looking for in a man.
With the younger ages (18-22). They are all looking for a physically attractive, tall, athletic, guy - not really caring what kind of money he has...rather, focusing on his physical traits.
Now, go higher with age (24-28), these women may still want a guy who is physically attractive, tall, athelic - but, it becomes a lot less important. They are looking for a well rounded man, educated, making money, taking care of business.
Now, go even high with age (29+), these women are more concerned with a guy that has his stuff together financially and emotionally, rather than physically. Some care less if you have kids and a belly, rather more concerned if you're educated and not living in your parent's basesment for the past 35 years.
In summary, IL is determined by a woman's past experiences with men. The younger - the more she is turned on by the physical aspects. The older - those things dont matter as much.
This doesn't mean that all the older fellas can go out and scarf down a box of Krispey Kremes. But, the chances you land that "10" are increased with being well rounded.
Physical, mental, emotional, confident in your direction and able to make others around you feel better about themselves. Who wouldnt want to be around a person like that?
If you have issues concerning evolution on another level, I can see where you're coming from. But how do you feel about the great number of people who have benefited from his materials a lot (like me)? Even if what it is based on is wrong, as you say, it still works for many...Originally posted by Sazuki
I have seen the advanced series, it was my bible, untill I figured out what kind of fairy tales David D. was living. (I really like his real life material, no problems there)
Do NOT make me explain why his theory is nonsense, fairytales. I am LOADED with this information and I will go off as a gun, a gun with purpose, if you get what I mean?
If David D. is right then burning jews is just de-structuring chemicals. Nothing universal wrong about that. If he is right then genocide is a natural by-product on natural selection, replacing the gene pool.
Fossil evidence does not show big evolutionary steps what so ever. After 150 years of hardcore digging in the ground after Darwin's theory not one "missing link" has been found between species. Evolution is the biggest hoax of the century. Only micro-evolution has been observed, but whales cannot turn into elephants, no matter what chance and how much time you give the aquatic beast.
It's also very damaging to our society: non moral. The nazi's said they were doing the human race a favour. Karl Marx said natural selection was proof for the validity of communism. We know what both systems lead to.
And no we do not descent from monkeys, humans are a entire species of it's own.
I will stop now because I could go on and on. And no I am not a christian, I very much dislike organized religion. Just looking for the truth. The ideas from David D, which he mainly got from Richard Dawkins has serious moral implications. Be carefull what you belief.
One more funny thing, when I just started studying those ideas from Richard Dawkins I become depressed and thus somewhat impotent, the irony! it's supposed to be dating material.
(I really don't think your becoming impotent when reading Dawkins is a good measure for general succes, but you know that better than I do.)
I'm not going to get into a political or biological discussion here either, but comparing Darwin to the Nazi's is just plain dumb.
Nothing is universally right or wrong for that matter. You think there's some rule book up there that states these things? The universe is just a large mass of nothing, matter, and energy and that's all we are. We are made of the same atoms that make up planets and other globs of matter in the universe. Right and wrong is all dependant on culture. Was the Aztec sacrifice of children wrong? Although we consider it barbaric, they considered it religious and civilized. Americans are burned in Christians. Although some of us are no longer Christians our values come from Christianity. Was what Hitler did in WWII wrong, morally yes, but morals are human and subject to change.
Evolution will always be a fight between those who accept it and those who don't want to accept it. Will we ever know for sure, not until we develop the ability to time travel. But the similarities in creatures are just to close to make them coincidence. Do you know that they've found 20 different hominid (apes that walked bipedal) species so far? Each one being more similar in structure to humans to any ape existing today. I mean scientists have shown that Chimpanzee DNA is 97% similar to our own. That means that Hominid DNA was even more similar. Coincidence... I doubt it.
There are just to many similarities in creatures for it to be coincidence. Take the comparison of a Dog and a Human. They both have the same type of skeletal systems that use the exact same proteins to break down old bone and recreate new bone, they have the same type of blood and clotting method to heal wounds, they both have lungs, they both have hearts, they both have the same endocrine systems, they both have the same digestive systems, they both have the same neurological systems, they both transmit signals between neurons through the synopsis using the exact same neurotransmitters (serotonin, dopamine, etc...) they both have the same muscular system, they both have a single head with two eyes, a nose, a mouth, teeth, ears, they both have four limbs, the both have finger prints, they both are covered in fur, they both excrete urine and feces that are comprised of the same material, they both eat, the males of the species both have a penis, the female both have a vagina, they both copulate to reproduce, they both use their brains in decision making, they both have the same fight or flight instinct, they both have the same nurturing instinct used with their offspring, etc, etc, etc... The differences in the genetic code are only like 10% and are only superficial. And you’re telling me that this is some kind of coincidence? You’re telling me that both organisms developed over time to work exactly the same way without ever having any contact? That’s like saying that it was just a coincidence that OJ was there with a knife and bloody glove. You’re talking about trillions to one odds here.
See humans have the urge to be unique and above everything else. And the thought that we have actually descended from single cell organisms somehow soils that uniqueness. It basically says that we are no better or worse in the whole scheme of things then a worm or slug. But it's the truth. Life’s goal is to keep itself going and it evolves all of it's forms to their current environment so that they survive. It's not a thinking machine; it's just survival of the fittest. Up until the advent of medical technology, if you had a biological defect what happened to you? You'd died before you were able to pass that defect onto the next generation. Therefore that defect went away. Survival of the fittest ancestral line.
Medicine is actually counterproductive to evolution because it allows those people with defects to live and pass those defects on. This is why we see so many genetic diseases in humans. And the funny thing is that the ratio of diseases in humans outnumbers those in another other non-domesticated species by hundreds to one. Coincidence... I doubt it.
But, I can understand why many people do not believe evolution. It's not an easy theory to understand. To really get a grasp of it you need to understand chemistry, biology, physics, geology, etc. You need to know how atoms bond to form molecules. You need to know how proteins are created. You need to understand how carbon contributes to making life alive. You need to understand how astronomical events like impacts effect life. You need to understand how most rock on the planet is comprised of the remains of life. You need to take all those things along with hundreds more and combine them together to understand how life works and evolves.
I am not going to sit here and tell you that you're wrong because there's no way I can convince you, just like there's no magic pill that will give an AFC self-confidence. But what I can do is to tell you to start to read a lot more on the subject, gather as much as you can. Then base your opinion on that, not just a couple of popular books written for the right reason but with the wrong consequences.
-Al
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
How to spot a rich guy
I forget where I read this, but I totally agree -
The common misconception is that a girl decides whether or not she'll fvck a guy within the first 5 minutes of meeting him, but the truth is a girl decides in the first 5 minutes whether she will not fvck him or if he is attractive enough to her to give him a shot. This is powerfully connected to physical attraction. That 300lb. guy isn't going to get past the first test.
I forget where I read this, but I totally agree -
The common misconception is that a girl decides whether or not she'll fvck a guy within the first 5 minutes of meeting him, but the truth is a girl decides in the first 5 minutes whether she will not fvck him or if he is attractive enough to her to give him a shot. This is powerfully connected to physical attraction. That 300lb. guy isn't going to get past the first test.
Most guys I know who are sucessful with women also get on well with women and have the same sense of humour as them and enjoys being around them. Theres a guy I work with who isnt at all attractive and isnt as young or handsome as me or alot of the other guys i work with but he manages to pickup really beautiful girls half his age- he hasnt got alot of money he does he a pretty nice car, he hasnt got a huge house but it is very tidy, he isnt tall but he is amazing at talking to women he has a laugh and a joke with every attractive women he meets.
Evil-Rom
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