Attraction Is Not A Choice??

[diablo]

Originally posted by Pook
"Women are judged on looks because YOU are judged on your looks (and women are much harsher about it!). Feminists think a magazine picture 'tyrannizes' young women. 'Forget my body, what about my mind?' they say. But did you ever hear a woman say to the Nice Guy, 'Your mind is great but I love your body!'? And every male is witness to the fact that women run towards testosteronized males, i.e. jerks.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=19193

 

[tyciol]

The Nazis weren't based on evolution at all, at least not any logical kind. They assumed that the german race was the dominant and most powerful species. History proved them wrong, that the region your relatives are from doesn't really matter, it's the people and the alliances.

 

[Albion4]

Originally posted by Sazuki
Albion4:

I think you have somewhat misread me.

I just gve a somewhat popular view on those things. I belief in evolution, and hope it has happened. Creationism is for fruitcakes. Neo-Darwinists are not any better. They think up fantasy theories and then debate them endlessly.

I'm more like an pantheist, the only thing that truely exists is the everyting, or universe. Infact life doesn't exist, or everyting is alive, doesn't matter to me, just a word we humans created. Everything is connected, relativity.

Consider this: to think the earth is a rock infested with life, is to think that a human is a skeleton infested with cells.

I just want to point out that people be carefull before taking on an entire new belief system based on theory.

You're making no sense. You're talking about the difference between a philosophy and scientific evidence. You say you're not religious but what you are talking about is no different then claiming evolution vs. Garden of Eden. Of course the universe is a system made up of systems made up of systems. But what does that have to do with evolution? All of the systems you speak of evolve on a daily basis. If you want evidence of that watch the Crab Nebula over a period of a year. You can see it evolve right in front of you.

What I am talking about here is hard evidence. You take the finches on the Galapagos for instance. We know through fossil evidence for fact that there was only one species of Finch there to start. That one species of Finch somehow evolved to at least 38 different forms, each one with a different specialized way of surviving; some with beaks for crushing nuts, some with beaks for eating nectar, and some with beaks for rooting out insects. Darwin showed that over time animals will evolve a strategy to make sure that they and their offspring survive. Without this any little change in environment; say an ice age, a comet, volcanic activity, would cause all life on earth to go completely extinct. If that were true life would have been gone completely after the KT event. This is what evolution is and we humans (also animals) use the same strategies. This is what our instincts are, this is why we find symmetry, health, etc.. beautiful. It just didn't happen it evolved to work that way.

Do you always say people should read more on the subject if their view differs from yours?

Only if the hard written scientific evidence shows them where they are wrong in their thinking. Evolution is not my view, it's the view of the majority of the scientific community. There's just to much evidence to show that 90% of the creatures out there being 90% similar is just a coincidence and everything just developed in parallel.

-Al

 

[Archaxis]

Re: Re: Attraction Is Not A Choice??

Originally posted by Albion4
Physical attraction is not something that can be created or changed without surgery. So you must learn to work with what you have in that arena. But men have a little advantage over women. Physical attraction is only a small protion of what a woman looks for. For example, when you look at a woman you immediatly know whether or not she is hot. What you are looking at is her physical beauty, clear complexion, hourglass figure, symmetry, etc... A woman's brain reacts in somewhat the same way. They don't think about what they see they just know. But their brain is programmed to look at how a man holds himself, more then just how he physically looks. Don't get me wrong, physical attraction plays a role in a womans brain, just not as big a role as with a man. A women will look at how man man holds himself, how he stands, whether or not he's sure of himself. And just like you know immediatly that a woman is hot, a woman's brain knows immediatly whether or not a man is self-confident so it's not something that you can pretend, you just have to have it.

So you may not be able to do anything about the shape of your face, but you can work on two things. You can increase the attractivness of your body by working out and exercising, because physical prowess plays a large role in making you attractive to the opposite sex. Working out will also help you achieve the other thing; your self-assurance and self confidence. That's a little bit trickier then just lifting weights though.

As creatures of habit we learn by experience. That means that our subconsious has to experience something for it to become strengthened in our mind. That is how you are going to have to learn to be more self-assured. Put yourself into situations where you'll have to stand up for yourself. The key is to stop thinking about the consequences of your actions in certain situations. The more you think about it the more you will end up talking yourself out of doing it. The more you succeed the easier it will get. Not only will it get easy, but after a while it will become second nature. And it's that "second naturedness" of self-assurance and self-confidence that women's brain will find attractive about you beyond anything else.

Anyway, I hope that helps.

-Al

Yes, yes, yes... we all understand that meeting a person's approval for courtship or whatnot is based on a number of traits and their respecive acceptable magnitutes, however is what we are talking about COMPOSITE or SEQUENTIAL in nature?

One must pass the 'lowest acceptable' looks test before bolsering it up with personality, finacial status, emotional value, etc. I don't think that women place as much total EMPHASIS on looks, however their acceptable standards for aesthetic are generally higher (or just more fickle) then men. This is the crux of the situation for us guys I believe.

 

[Kaine]

Attraction is not a choice

I totally agree with this observation

Attraction is a "gut level" feeling

To not agree is to say "I choose to feel love for this person" and just do it sincerely from nothing.

Women do not think, mmmm I will from today like this guy.

They do or they don't without conscious decision. The same goes for you.

The criteria maybe different from one person or the other but NO ONE chooses to be attracted to another.

Everybody has a set of unconscious switchs

Switch 1: Long hair
Switch 2: Giving
Switch 3: Big breasts
Switch 4: Outgoing
etc etc

These switchs may refer to either tangible or intangible characteristics with different rankings

As our switchs are turned on by stimuli, our attraction grows, without choice!

These subsconscious switchs maybe be dictated from experience or genetics.

Genetics: Men are attracted to Women. You are a man so you find feminine features attractive.

Experience: Your mother was humorless, you find serious women attractive.


Kaine

 

[Kaine]

I did not address your other question

How do you create attraction?

By identifying what the other parties switchs are and turning those on.

Are you trying to attract a women? Then if you have been doing your reading then you will know that there are certain intangible and tangible characteristics that generally all women find attractive.

Intangible:
Mystery, Challenge, Confidence etc

Tangible:
Fashion, Handsome, Great Physique, Rich etc

Adopt these characteristics

Obviously some or more out of reach then others.....


Simple (the explanation that is)


Kaine

 

[Tazman]

Just my 2 cents

I think women place just as much emphasis on looks as men do. If your ugly AND short you've got a lot of work ahead of you. I usually see people together who are similar on the attractiveness scale. I only get looks by women because I've been told I have a cute face, but I'm 5'5 and 120 lbs (and I've been working out, lol) and their interest only goes so far. Granted, my face could get me in the door with a little initiative (sometimes) but I'm an insecure AFC, which is why I'm here.

Looking at the big picture, I really don't see a big difference. Attractive women will not go out with ugly guys period (with the exception of the gold diggers and nut cases who like serial killers, lol, even then looks might still be a strong requirement).

 

[undesputable]

Re: so

Originally posted by ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
is ****y+funny and busting women's balls really that common now?

yes it is, at least where i live and the school i go to. The guys at my school are rich and natually ****y, and a lot of them are funny too. so the ****y and funny routine at my school is nothing special, which kinda sucks. I bet every hot girl that goes to my school experienced this, since like 5th grade just cause of the nature of the people that live around here.

Oh and yea i was talking to some girl the other day, and she told me that she liked me, but she had no idea why. She told me i didnt know how to treat girls, so then i told her "yea i dont know how to treat girl yet get i them". she thought about that for a second and just said well maybe youre just lucky, and then i just said "yea im lucky", cause i didnt want to go any further with that conversation. But yea theres a perfect example of "attraction not being a choice", she really had no idea why she liked me, she just did.