At what point does it make SENSE to get married?

[EyeBRollin]

Oh, I'm aware of those benefits. However, you have to factor in divorce risk and men generally providing more economically for the family than women.

To say that marriage is, on average, economically beneficial for men is pure insanity.

It is not. Married men earn more and live longer than unmarried men. Those are the facts.

 

[metalwater]

Tax benefits, prestige, and your wife can free up time otherwise needed for household duties.

Few high income millionaires are bachelors that have never been married. Almost all of your CEOs and upper management, they have wives and children.

Re: time- You either have to pay a lot of money for takeout, laundry, housecleaning, or devote time to do it yourself.

At the top 1% or .1% its much cheaper to hire a maid or two than to hire a wife.

 

[Snag87]

It is not. Married men earn more and live longer than unmarried men. Those are the facts.

Right, but why?

The reason married men earn more than unmarried is because women don't want to marry men with low earning potential.

Let's say we have 200 single young men. Group A has 100 who are fit, high earning and motivated. Group B has 100 who are obese, low earning and shiftless.

If we were to find that group A was more likely to get married and live longer, would you come to the conclusion that it's due to marriage? Or is it a matter of women being exponentially more likely to sexually reject the men of group B?

This is easily debunked feminist nonsense.

 

[EyeBRollin]

At the top 1% or .1% its much cheaper to hire a maid or two than to hire a wife.

Sure. But you’re overlooking the entire point of being married, which is to have a family. It’s completely fine if you want to make money, travel, and fvck until you die.

 

[EyeBRollin]

The reason married men earn more than unmarried is because women don't want to marry men with low earning potential.

Let's say we have 200 single young men. Group A has 100 who are fit, high earning and motivated. Group B has 100 who are obese, low earning and shiftless.

If we were to find that group A was more likely to get married and live longer, would you come to the conclusion that it's due to marriage? Or is it a matter of women being exponentially more likely to sexually reject the men of group B?

I would call this obfuscation. There is a penalty in traditional careers for being a 40+ year old bachelor.

 

[metalwater]

Sure. But you’re overlooking the entire point of being married, which is to have a family. It’s completely fine if you want to make money, travel, and fvck until you die.

I get it. Just removing that reason of improving money. It is really subjective about that. I would never want someone to get married for the reason of increased money. That would be feminine.

 

[Snag87]

I would call this obfuscation. There is a penalty in traditional careers for being a 40+ year old bachelor.

A fact of which I'm well aware. There's also a financial penalty for being coerced into marriage and children just to potentially advance your career.

If you're aware of the potential risks and still desire marriage and kids, suit yourself. However, no man who doesn't should feel pressured into it in order to get the next bonus or promotion.

Furthermore, it's not 1980. An unmarried 40 year old isn't nearly as rare in the business world.

 

[EyeBRollin]

A fact of which I'm well aware. There's also a financial penalty for being coerced into marriage and children just to potentially advance your career.

If you're aware of the potential risks and still desire marriage and kids, suit yourself. However, no man who doesn't should feel pressured into it in order to get the next bonus or promotion.

This is a strawman argument.

Furthermore, it's not 1980. An unmarried 40 year old isn't nearly as rare in the business world.

And those 40 year old bachelors are more likely to get passed up at evaluation. There is a level of prestige attached with a man that has a family. The problem in the West is people use fear to normalize single hood until death. Society is built for families.

 

[bmp2cpm]

I’m very late to this thread.

My first marriage was pretty horrible but it did really get my career on track.

I’m on my second marriage and no regrets.

Nine reasons marriage makes sense for me:
1) She makes me laugh a lot
2) She possesses superior social skills - comes in handy more often than you think.
3) She respects my valuable resources, ie is never wasteful
4) She treats me like I am in first class every day
5) Keeps the house immaculate
6) Practices religion with me, ie sacramental marriage
7) Keeps focused things I should be focused on but am not naturally, ie gives me motivation to be a better me
8) Is someone I can grow old with
9) Looks great in a body stocking!

Too late for me to have biological children but I do enjoy mentoring my step son.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Validation is more likely than easy sex, particularly in the initial stages of the marriage.

That said, where's the validation in being dragged through the mud and subject to usury and financial devastation in divorce court?

You're not validated if she's treating you like sh1t, starving you for sex, lying and cheating.

 

[RickTheToad]

Sadly, if you want children/family, most females will insist on eventually getting married. If you do not want children/family, then you can just get another female. However, it gets tiresome after time and time again as you get older. Many dudes will settle on a female that may seem the best best for them. If she has more $$ than you, fantastic. However, when they see their friends get married the pressure is on and they apply the pressure to you. Yes, you can avoid it or get rid of her, but you will eventually have it again and again. The way you can protect yourself is what I've always said: per-marital assets in an irrevocable trust, business titled and controlled by an LLC owned by the trust (you're just the employee who draws a salary), and pre-nup with each side paying their own legal costs. Additionally, she must take your name. If she refuses, 86 her.

 

[EyeBRollin]

What is the penalty?

Passed up for promotions.

 

[2Rocky]

jn,


For once you bring up a good topic, one of which I debate with myself internally.

In your case all Assets you have going into the marriage are exempt from division. it is just assets gained during the marriage that are subject to Community property law...

Advantages of Marriage or Domestic Partnership :

Spouse may not be compelled to testify against spouse in Criminal trial.
Social Security survivor benefits
Retirement-Pension survivor benefits
Joint Survivorship on real estate holdings and other assets
Medical decision making in absence of advanced directive
Contribute to Unemployed spouses IRA
Health insurance for spouse
Family leave

More here:

https://www.theknot.com/content/benefits-of-marriage

 

[SW15]

However, when they see their friends get married the pressure is on and they apply the pressure to you.

I saw this happen in my main social circle in 2017, when there were a flurry of weddings within a single year.

For most men, somewhere between ages 26-35, they will see a flurry of weddings in their social circles. It is possible that a girlfriend will put pressure on a man to marry when either the man's friends or the woman's friends have multiple weddings in the social circle in a 12-24 month period.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Interesting. Personally, this would not be a factor for me in deciding whether to marry and start a family. But I guess it's a nice perk if a guy does want to.

I don’t think any man says let me get married to advance my career. It’s just an external benefit. The primary motivation for a man to marry is for children. If children aren’t the goal, there really isn’t a need for it.

 

[B80]

I think saying unmarried men are more likely to live shorter, earn less etc is a bit like like the thing where people say cafeinne is bad for you as loads of people who drink it died of heart disease. looking closer the main reason was the person had a heart attack as they also ate a load of donuts each day, with sugar in their coffee.

A lot of single men, particularly in previous eras probably ate a lot of takeaways or ate sh1tty convenient food from the supermarket. Basically women were raised to do all the cooking, house work etc and men would be clueless how to look after themselves in many case. Although judging by the wests constant increase it weight, it seems most households adopt this now anyway.

If you look after your health/fitness are pretty self driven to do well careerwise, don't become a recluse I don;t see there being much difference really. I guess some careers ow workplaces may overlook or put a black mark against divorced/single men, but this number will be increasing compared to 30 years ago, when it was probably more taboo. Most decent companies are interested in how you get on with those around you and how competent you are. Unless you're some kind of idiot/weirdo I don;t see why a modern company would be remotely bothered by your marital status.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I think saying unmarried men are more likely to live shorter, earn less etc is a bit like like the thing where people say cafeinne is bad for you as loads of people who drink it died of heart disease. looking closer the main reason was the person had a heart attack as they also ate a load of donuts each day, with sugar in their coffee.

A lot of single men, particularly in previous eras probably ate a lot of takeaways or ate sh1tty convenient food from the supermarket. Basically women were raised to do all the cooking, house work etc and men would be clueless how to look after themselves in many case. Although judging by the wests constant increase it weight, it seems most households adopt this now anyway.

If you look after your health/fitness are pretty self driven to do well careerwise, don't become a recluse I don;t see there being much difference really. I guess some careers ow workplaces may overlook or put a black mark against divorced/single men, but this number will be increasing compared to 30 years ago, when it was probably more taboo. Most decent companies are interested in how you get on with those around you and how competent you are. Unless you're some kind of idiot/weirdo I don;t see why a modern company would be remotely bothered by your marital status.

There are different cultural environments. So some will care. In some states being labeled as a "single" man gets you looked at as some sort of "predator".

 

[2Rocky]

I will also add....

....Access to family support from a family OF YOUR CHOOSING....Perhaps they offer advantages to your standing in the community, or add a unique bit of rep to you in your line of work. Not the sole reason to marry but worthy of an additional tic in the plus column OR red flag in the opposite case.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I will also add....

....Access to family support from a family OF YOUR CHOOSING....Perhaps they offer advantages to your standing in the community, or add a unique bit of rep to you in your line of work. Not the sole reason to marry but worthy of an additional tic in the plus column OR red flag in the opposite case.

One can get these similar relationships depending upon who they associate with as friends and associates. It's useful. Alot of the complaining was due to society becoming more "sh1tty", but they are doing "clout" and "association" for sure.

 

[spred]

What is the penalty?

Some direct (passed over for promotions or let go to keep a family man) or indirect (payed less than average on account of lower costs of life as a single than a married man/woman).
You can avoid some negatives if you negotiate very well at the beginning, but clearly you are at a disadvantage.