At A Complete Loss...

[speed dawg]

100% flake ratio in OLD. Looks are the problem. Wake up.

I don't mess with OLD. Never have.

That said, looks can still only get you so far. Seems like OLD is nothing but playing the numbers, seems everyone flakes, just part of the dopamine hit for women.

This means nothing to me.

 

[guru1000]

I don't mess with OLD. Never have.

That said, looks can still only get you so far. Seems like OLD is nothing but playing the numbers, seems everyone flakes, just part of the dopamine hit for women.

This means nothing to me.

Women flake if you speed date on OLD and don't build enough rapport, but, even then, never at 100%. His OLD problem is looks.

 

[Reyaj]

Women are retarded man. Just be confident and continue approaching. Trying to analyze everything will only inhibit your game. This is something that took me a long time to learn.

Also disagree that most women like the leaner look..

 

[Metanoia]

When you put a women on a pedestal it says a lot about yourself. Sounds like you might have some childhood issues you need to uncover

 

[Reykhel]

On paper, I am most womens wet dream

That's funny.

my track record with them is woeful

baffling eh? maybe your view of reality doesn't match how others see you.

I ride a Harley

then they should be knocking on your door, right?

an arrogance problem hiding some type of insecurity

This is probably correct..
You've so many expectations. After all you're every woman's wet dream, what the hell could be the problem?

I assume, you have some cash flow at 42,

he's a hells angel's biker, I don't think 1000 dollar hugo boss shirts and fandongo shoes are his style.

You don't say what you are looking for? what is your sexual strategy?

 

[Orbitron]

That's funny.


baffling eh? maybe your view of reality doesn't match how others see you.


then they should be knocking on your door, right?


This is probably correct..
You've so many expectations. After all you're every woman's wet dream, what the hell could be the problem?


he's a hells angel's biker, I don't think 1000 dollar hugo boss shirts and fandongo shoes are his style.

You don't say what you are looking for? what is your sexual strategy?

If you re read my post I said "most women" and what I meant by that was that most women when questioned would say something along the lines of tall, handsome, in good shape etc and these are qualities of mine that are indisputable; I'm frequently told by men and women alike that I am handsome which means no more than my facial features fit the "golden ratio" to some extent and this is universally deemed as "good looking". When I'm out on a night out I frequently get approached by people and get complimented on my looks, physique and my sense of style.

What it certainly doesn't mean is that this makes me more attractive as my experience tells me otherwise. I appear to be missing some piece of the puzzle to give me that appeal that some guys just exude and take for granted.

With regards to the Harley comment; I have frequently read OLD profiles that specifically mention a preference for a biker so whilst I realise you can't just hop on two wheels and be knee deep in it, you might reasonably expect it would give you an extra advantage no matter how small it may be.

I am going to begin restricting my carb intake now as I train very hard 3 or 4 times a week and generally only get loads of carbs in post workout to refuel but I'm of the opinion that reducing them further and supplementing the calories with extras protein and fat can only improve my look. Pretty clued up with regards to training and nutrition with 20+ years training under my belt.

 

[Orbitron]

When you put a women on a pedestal it says a lot about yourself. Sounds like you might have some childhood issues you need to uncover

Quite possibly. I read "No More Mr Nice Guy" by Dr Robert Glover and saw a lot of my former behaviours in there. I am now very conscious of not becoming a super pleaser around hot women and I don't look like a rabbit in headlights when approaching them - I maintain a calm composure (at least I think I do) and I certainly don't have a ridiculous ****-eating grin slapped across my grid when I do so.

 

[Clamslammer]

I could tell you exactly what is going on with the current set of girls you are interacting with...they are nervous around you because they do not think they are good enough for you. Most guys on here will never have this problem or will not understand it as they are usually trying to impress the girls they are trying to chase.

If you are a really attractive guy, humble, have great character, and have yourself together financially most girls will be scared of you even though they really like you...try and figure that one out. Girls will give you those deer in the headlight eyes because attraction is not a choice (you know that look - most guys will not experience this) and if you approach them like a gentlemen they will still get nervous and sometimes walk away.

Most girls are insecure and not confident thats why they usually flake, don't respond, act distant, reject you first because they think you might reject them, etc... it does not always mean they do not like you. A guy who is on his purpose and highly attractive knows he has options with women and will not put up with the crap that most girls dish out to the guys on this forum. A guy of this caliber is like a horse with blinders, he will go straight forward and be direct and to the point with the people he wants in his life because he is too busy with his purpose to worry about why X girl does not want to go on a date with him so he will move on quick. These types of guys are not ****s or douches nor do they need to "next" a girl, they will ask a girl on the spot for a date if she passes his initial attraction level and character level, if the girl accepts great if she rejects him great as well. Most of the time he will not get rejected directly, if he does get rejected instead they may ignore the date request or just nervously walk away (yes this does happen).

Whats the purpose of this speil...if you are the guy i mentioned above you need to keep being that horse and moving forward, find an attractive and confident women that will have the confidence to date a guy like you. It is not going to be easy...trust me, but when you do find it you will know.

By the way most people will tell you to lower your standards and settle because they do not understand that this is going on in your life because they themselves have never been on this level...don't ever lower your standards or settle that's the story they themselves since they lowered their standards and settled.

Good Luck!

 

[speed dawg]

I could tell you exactly what is going on with the current set of girls you are interacting with...they are nervous around you because they do not think they are good enough for you. Most guys on here will never have this problem or will not understand it as they are usually trying to impress the girls they are trying to chase.

If you are a really attractive guy, humble, have great character, and have yourself together financially most girls will be scared of you even though they really like you...try and figure that one out. Girls will give you those deer in the headlight eyes because attraction is not a choice (you know that look - most guys will not experience this) and if you approach them like a gentlemen they will still get nervous and sometimes walk away.

Most girls are insecure and not confident thats why they usually flake, don't respond, act distant, reject you first because they think you might reject them, etc... it does not always mean they do not like you. A guy who is on his purpose and highly attractive knows he has options with women and will not put up with the crap that most girls dish out to the guys on this forum. A guy of this caliber is like a horse with blinders, he will go straight forward and be direct and to the point with the people he wants in his life because he is too busy with his purpose to worry about why X girl does not want to go on a date with him so he will move on quick. These types of guys are not ****s or douches nor do they need to "next" a girl, they will ask a girl on the spot for a date if she passes his initial attraction level and character level, if the girl accepts great if she rejects him great as well. Most of the time he will not get rejected directly, if he does get rejected instead they may ignore the date request or just nervously walk away (yes this does happen).

Whats the purpose of this speil...if you are the guy i mentioned above you need to keep being that horse and moving forward, find an attractive and confident women that will have the confidence to date a guy like you. It is not going to be easy...trust me, but when you do find it you will know.

By the way most people will tell you to lower your standards and settle because they do not understand that this is going on in your life because they themselves have never been on this level...don't ever lower your standards or settle that's the story they themselves since they lowered their standards and settled.

Good Luck!

Girls don't flake if they are interested. The only way this could possibly be true is if you are a 10 and you're trying to date 4's and 5's. This guy said he wasn't dating the lower girls and trying with the hotter ones, so you're advice is going to give him false hope.

 

[Clamslammer]

Sorry, you clearly do not understand women and how they think. They do not think logically like men; for example, "this guys is hot i want him now," instead they think emotionally, "this guy is hot... is he a player..will he pump and dump me, will he cheat on me because he looks like he attracts a lot of women...am i not experienced enough to date a guy like him...will he not like me once he gets to know me." By then she has already disqualified herself from dating him.

By the way, a girls hottness does not have any correlation between their confidence. Confidence is based on a persons comfort level with themselves. A girl may look like a 10 but have the confidence level of a 5.

My advice is to help this guy out with whatever he is facing and it is up to him to digest it the way he wants to. Neither you nor I know him so we cannot comment on what level he is at.

 

[zekko]

Hot women gravitate to men that are "meh" about them. Men who are over the beauty bit. Those are the men hot women can be human with.

I can't disagree with what you're saying but to some extent I hate that women think like this. I know women want to be treated like they are human, and not some sort of exotic sex alien. Obviously a guy has to be unphased enough to relax, enjoy a natural conversation, and not act like he is talking to a superior being.

But every woman has her own unique beauty to her, that is its own unique delight. That does not become less so just because the guy has been with a lot of attractive women. Is an individual flower any less beautiful just because it resides in a field full of flowers? Expecting a man to be "meh" or bored with a beautiful woman (or flower) is expecting him to be bored of life.

 

[BeExcellent]

I can't disagree with what you're saying but to some extent I hate that women think like this. I know women want to be treated like they are human, and not some sort of exotic sex alien. Obviously a guy has to be unphased enough to relax, enjoy a natural conversation, and not act like he is talking to a superior being.

But every woman has her own unique beauty to her, that is its own unique delight. That does not become less so just because the guy has been with a lot of attractive women. Is an individual flower any less beautiful just because it resides in a field full of flowers? Expecting a man to be "meh" or bored with a beautiful woman (or flower) is expecting him to be bored of life.

I don't mean "meh" in the sense of "whatever". Its simply the most concise way to paint the picture for the resident audience, some of whom, unlike yourself, don't understand subtlety and nuance.

A man who appreciates beauty (and your reference to beauty you see in nature is a good one) and beautiful women will have a level of comfort about him. He has been around beautiful women before. He isn't nervous or in performance mode around them. He simply exists, comfortable in his own skin, and interacts in a natural, relaxed manner that has a bit of take it or leave it inherent. Just as such a man can return to a beautiful natural setting, such a man knows he will see other beautiful women another time. He doesn't have to HAVE that one right there...RIGHT NOW...and so he exudes comfort, ease, and nonchalance.

Such men are warm and engaging in conversation and while they don't shy away from appreciation of a pretty face or a nice figure, they compliment (if they choose to) from a place of genuine appreciation rather than from a place with an agenda. Interactions with such gentlemen are pleasant, and a woman does not feel pawed at or gawked at by such a man. But that can be hard for some guys here to understand, because its got to do with intent. So I used a more binary verbiage originally because there is a predominance of binary thinking here.

Nuance can be hard to learn...I think in some ways its even harder to demonstrate or show without being in the field and observing it.

 

[Clamslammer]

I don't mean "meh" in the sense of "whatever". Its simply the most concise way to paint the picture for the resident audience, some of whom, unlike yourself, don't understand subtlety and nuance.

A man who appreciates beauty (and your reference to beauty you see in nature is a good one) and beautiful women will have a level of comfort about him. He has been around beautiful women before. He isn't nervous or in performance mode around them. He simply exists, comfortable in his own skin, and interacts in a natural, relaxed manner that has a bit of take it or leave it inherent. Just as such a man can return to a beautiful natural setting, such a man knows he will see other beautiful women another time. He doesn't have to HAVE that one right there...RIGHT NOW...and so he exudes comfort, ease, and nonchalance.

Such men are warm and engaging in conversation and while they don't shy away from appreciation of a pretty face or a nice figure, they compliment (if they choose to) from a place of genuine appreciation rather than from a place with an agenda. Interactions with such gentlemen are pleasant, and a woman does not feel pawed at or gawked at by such a man. But that can be hard for some guys here to understand, because its got to do with intent. So I used a more binary verbiage originally because there is a predominance of binary thinking here.

Nuance can be hard to learn...I think in some ways its even harder to demonstrate or show without being in the field and observing it.

This lady knows her stuff, can I add the following:

When a hot girls does ever meet a man like this she will likely feel intimidated by a guy like this because a guy of this caliber has attractive women throwing themselves at him all the time so he screens girls for other aspects besides her looks and this can make a girl feel insecure because she is usually the one screening these guys because she usually knows she has the average guy in her hands. The uncertainty may cause her to reject herself from him even if the guy shows direct interest.

 

[zekko]

Nuance can be hard to learn...I think in some ways its even harder to demonstrate or show without being in the field and observing it.

I hear what you're saying, and I agree with you. I'm just saying that this nuance exists more so for women than for men (although I'm sure that's obvious). Like I said before, it's a fundamental gender difference. Women react like this because they are, by nature, the choosers and the pursued (generally speaking). And I'm sure a lot has to do with the aggressive and sometimes crude nature of males also. Part of the screening process. Men, in comparison, will not care how "smooth" or "unphased" a woman might appear.

For example, I was talking to a woman today while out running errands. She was holding her own in the conversation, but she was also clearly nervous and kept stumbling over her words. I thought her nervousness was cute and charming. But a woman will usually see a man being nervous and stumbling over his words as a sign of weakness and inexperience, and it would be a turnoff for her.

 

[guru1000]

I am going to begin restricting my carb intake now as I train very hard 3 or 4 times a week and generally only get loads of carbs in post workout to refuel but I'm of the opinion that reducing them further and supplementing the calories with extras protein and fat can only improve my look. Pretty clued up with regards to training and nutrition with 20+ years training under my belt.

I've been training/dieting for over 25 years. If are holding on to much muscle mass, carb restriction/cycling or a consistent cardio routine makes a significant difference in the quantity and quality of women you will attract.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/cardio-a-djs-tool.218536/

 

[kingvavy]

By the way, a girls hottness does not have any correlation between their confidence. Confidence is based on a persons comfort level with themselves. A girl may look like a 10 but have the confidence level of a 5.

learned that the hard way...my ex-wife was a 9 to 10 with an inner confidence level of about 1 to 2. People who are generally good with themselves tend to gravitate towards each other. It sounds as if OP is unsure about who he is, and therefore needs to worry less about shirts/shoes/carb reduction and spend more time thinking about who he is and what he needs. If he is good with who he is, not what he looks like, rejection won't be viewed as a negative thing moving forward, but rather a positive. i.e. if a girl flakes out, she's doing you a massive favour.

 

[guru1000]

learned that the hard way...my ex-wife was a 9 to 10 with an inner confidence level of about 1 to 2. People who are generally good with themselves tend to gravitate towards each other. It sounds as if OP is unsure about who he is, and therefore needs to worry less about shirts/shoes/carb reduction and spend more time thinking about working on the inner game. If he is good with who he is as a person, rejection won't be viewed as a negative thing moving forward, but rather a positive. i.e. if a girl flakes out, she's doing you a massive favour.

This is great in theory; that is inner confidence or game will magically make a 100% flake ratio on OLD reduce to zero. Unfortunately, this advice only works in cartoons. Reality dictates otherwise.

His confidence originates by his results, and is normal (or even quite high) for anyone with a 100% flake ratio. Some of you guys should visit the real world and see how it operates.

 

[kingvavy]

This is great in theory; that is inner confidence or game will magically make a 100% flake ratio on OLD reduce to zero. Unfortunately, this advice only works in cartoons. Reality dictates otherwise.

His confidence originates by his results, and is normal (or even quite high) for anyone with a 100% flake ratio. Some of you guys should visit the real world and see how it operates.

Been to the real world and back. Lost everything...my house, my business, 80% of my kid's lives, most of my so-called friends..reputation in tatters. BPD ex went thermonuclear and I barely survived. Used the experience to learn about myself. Built myself back up to the point where rejection is seen as a total blessing. I don't have time to think/dwell about being rejected when there are so many positive experiences out there waiting to be had. I agree with you that until you've been to the brink and back, it's impossible to have this type of inner game, and yes, it might sound like just a theory. What I can say is that spending too much time dwelling on girls who reject you will get you nowhere. Rejection is obviously affecting OP's game, so it's a sign that there are deeper issues he needs to address than what type of shirt he should wear, and 'water-weight...'

 

[guru1000]

Been to the real world and back. Lost everything...my house, my business, 80% of my kid's lives, reputation in tatters. BPD ex went thermonuclear and I barely survived. Used the experience to learn about myself. Built myself back up to the point where rejection is seen as a total blessing. I don't have time to think/dwell about being rejected because you only live once and there are tons of positive experiences out there waiting to be had.

Great, sounds like my life minus the BPD and kids, but not including some groundbreaking "atrocities" that will make your head spin. However, this doesn't change that if the OP has a 100% OLD flake ratio, thinking without doing differently will not solve his dilemma.

 

[kingvavy]

Great, sounds like my life minus the BPD and kids, but not including some groundbreaking "atrocities" that will make your head spin. However, this doesn't change that if the OP has a 100% OLD flake ratio, thinking without doing differently will not solve his dilemma.

agreed