zekko said:
Wow, one thing that I've consistently read in all this pickup stuff is that you should smile. Now they say don't smile, and now they say that if you look ashamed that is more attractive than looking happy or neutral. >Throws up hands<
I could see that smiling might be seen as being supplicating rather than friendly. Or maybe smiling is more useful for building comfort as opposed to attraction.
If there's one thing this article tells me, it's that no one has really figured out how this whole attraction thing works yet. I mean, it's fairly straightforward to see what attracts a guy, but there seems to be a whole lot of different variations and complex formulas when it comes to what attracts a woman. [snip]
That's because we, the community, are operating from a false premise:
That we can be UNIVERSALLY attractive to women.
It can't happen, at least not in real-life.
We are trying to mold ourselves into some kind of universally attractive template, but this doesn't take into account the wildly varying preferences of women. The Universally Attractive Template (UAT) works for women; It does not work for men.
The very nature of attraction causes the UAT to work for women, but not for men. A made-up face and a well-proportioned body will attract any and every man, almost no exceptions.
However, although a neat, stylish appearance in a man is attractive to women, much more important are the personality traits of a man. Some like guys who smile, some don't (the smile does convey personality). Some like aggressiveness, some don't. Some like smart-alecky, some are turned off.
Men will never, ever be able to fit into any kind of UAT, while conversely, attractiveness in women will always fit into that template, with minor variations, of course.
Nutshell: The UAT exists for women, but does not and never will for men. We are trying to be all things to all women, and that is why we fail. Better to make ourselves the best men we can be so that we are satisfied with ourselves, thereby attracting the women who will be compatible with us.