(article) Dating is competitive manipulation

[RAFCbearfilm]

http://www.violentacres.com/archives/100/dating-is-competitive-manipulation

This was written from the female perspective - but I think she visits this site.

Looking for your thoughts and feedback on this one.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

The self depreciating man who tells his girlfriend that he’s lucky she loves him because no one else will is begging her to suck his best friend’s d!ck. No woman respects a man she suspects would die fat and alone without her divine presence. What does that say about her that they guy she chooses to spend her time with is only with her because no one else would have him? Every time a man fawns all over his girlfriend because she had the benevolence to let him stick his pee pee in her, she starts to wonder if she could attract a guy who isn’t such a fukking tool.

Fukking brilliant. Every AFC needs to put a copy of this in big red letters on his refrigerator door and read it every day.

 

[Latinoman]

Fukking brilliant. Every AFC needs to put a copy of this in big red letters on his refrigerator door and read it every day.

LOL.

Very good...indeed.

 

[joekerr31]

you got to me joking me?

this is a low class, shallow woman who sees life in the same context.

i feel sorry for anyone who buys into that crap and believes that its all about manipulation.

you aint never had your d*ck sucked the way you will when you are with a woman who is in to YOU for YOU - becuase you are the prize with or without other women fawning over you.

WEAK people behave in the way this lady describes. sure lots do it, all low quality, none of whom youd ever want to spend a long period of your life with.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo JOEKERR,


One day, my friend, you'll come to realize that not every man lives by that old Air Force creed when it comes to the types of women they accept into their lives.

For many, it's FAR easier to "AIM LOW!" than it is to "AIM HIGH!".

Any woman who views the PRIMARY value of the man in her life through the prism of OTHER female competition is one who is still very much IMMATURE.

To measure the worth of a man PRIMARILY by the CROWD that surrounds him as opposed to the CHARACTER of the man who stands at the CENTER of that crowd, is a formula that could only be used by the SHALLOWest of women.

And yes, I know that the number of immature and shallow women FAR outweigh those who are actually worth our serious consideration. But nevertheless, this the plight that a Mature Man of certain principles must face.

But facing a world hellbent on accepting mediocrity, bravely going to WAR with it, and being FULLY committed to the task of "beating the odds" in LIFE is what separates the Dreamers from the Goal-Setters----the Bitter from the Hopeful-----and the boys from the MEN.

A man/soldier whose looking for a more emotionally substantive relationship should not accept a woman like the woman who supposedly wrote that article into his life/foxhole----especially if he has become aware of her mindsets.

This is why everyone should save up and buy themselves one of those brand new hypersensitive, ONEitis-proof, Cold Calculating BIITCHometers-----like I just got from my friends over at The PentaGUNN Home Shopping Network. I haven't taken it out of the box yet, but I'm pretty sure it'll help me differentiate all the standard biitches from the Upgraded women. I'll keep y'all posted...lol

Now to continue back on subject...

A woman who feels as THIS woman does seems to be MORE in love with the challenge of getting the man than she would be with the challenge of KEEPING the man---surely the telltale sound of a Low Interest Time Bomb ticking in the background can be heard all the way back at Sosuave Headquarters...

If you're just looking for another woman to Fukk, I'm sure a chick like this will do just fine. But surely, to EMOTIONALLY engage a woman of THIS mentality is like volunteering to begin SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY.

How many of you here are "BETTING" men, soldiers? Well, before you put your money on a chick who thinks to the extremes that THIS one does, here's a message I'm sending back to you from the frontlines:

She's NOT a safe bet for a SUCCESSFUL short term relationship.

She's NOT worth gambling on for a SUCCESSFUL long term relationship.

What she IS, is your BEST chance of successfully rolling a LUCKY NUMBER SEVEN when it comes to having a marriage full of ANXIETY, nonstop SHYT TESTS, and totally DEVOID of a true intimate connection between the two of you.

You see, sometimes "COMPETITIVE MANIPULATION" is just a fancy way of describing two people going through life trying to see which one of them can can JERK the OTHER one around FIRST!

You know, it just has a nice, politically correct "ring" to it. Kinda like "Contesting for Resources" does when it comes to describing the "mostly" female activity we affectionately know of as "Gold-Digging"...


March on, soldiers!

 

[RAFCbearfilm]

quote "The truth is women love to compete with other women. Women want to win men over. They want to be chosen by a man who could have any girl he wants. No woman of caliber wants to win a man by default. She wants her man to be a prize, a good catch, someone she can be proud of."

I liked this part of the article as well, it reinforces that women want to be with a man - not the guy in the quote that Rollo gave. It just goes to reinforce that women want to be with someone who takes pride in himself too! (If only to make their friends jealous apparently.) Kind of the same rational as going after the hb8+ cause our friends don't want to hear how we bagged an hb4

 

[STR8UP]

quote "The truth is women love to compete with other women. Women want to win men over. They want to be chosen by a man who could have any girl he wants. No woman of caliber wants to win a man by default. She wants her man to be a prize, a good catch, someone she can be proud of."

SO TRUE! I was thinking about writing up a post about a recent experience I had that ties in with this.

I swear, the past year or two has been INSANE watching how competetive women are.

I had a party awhile back and probably could have fukked any one of 4 or 5 women that night. One even drove two hours to be there and see me. You should have SEEN the fireworks! It was fukking hilarious! A couple of them (two friends) kept jumping in front of other girls I was dancing with. One slapped another one's hand when she went to grab me. Quite an ego boost.

 

[joekerr31]

why would it be an ego boost?

1) it had nothing to do with you. you were simply an arbitrary item for the girls to 'compete' over
2) whats so special about having low quality women fighting over you?

ive had this happen to me, and perhaps im out of the norm here, but when it does i find i lose interest in the women pretty quickly.

a strong confident mature woman wouldn't lower herself to such behavior. perhaps she would if you were her boyfriend - jealousy gets the best of everyone.

but a bunch of women taking an interest in me ONLY because other women are for some reason fails to float my boat.

 

[azanon]

I cant say that i see that woman as weak. For one, if she wrote that, she certainly is pretty adept at writing. Second, there are a lot of people in our society that play by, what really amounts to, artificial rules that they make up or borrow from other sources (such as the bible). We all often want the same things, its just that some of us are going to use a variety of means, and others are only going to use means within our predefined rulesets.

Now yes, i'm not sure I want to be with a woman either that has all the options on the table, in terms of "means". But the reason i dont want a woman like that, is because that's more power than I care to deal with. The fact that I typically dont live by many artificial rules myself is quite often the very edge that i have over other equally capable, but willfully limiting individuals.

Benevolence and integrity IMO are way too politically correct and highly overrated today. Oh, how you are publically loved when you demonstrate these qualities! But if you ask me, people exhiting these attributes in excess are typically patted on the back so often mainly because in many situations, they end up getting the short end when competing against others not playing by artificial rules. This is a dog-eat-dog world in so many situations; and if you dont fight back with equal force during these times, you will often lose.

Anyone watch American Idol last week? Simon's advise was golden to that one cute girl; (paraphrased) "when your competition falls on the ground, you'll do best in this business by learning to kick them while they're down". She retorted she wouldnt do that to a friend. I'm already wondering if we'll see this naive girl learn her lesson later in the show (which would be tragic since she was the better singer and was better looking).

Joekerr, a truly mature woman, to me, will at least not be naive. If she's not going to "stoop" to that lower level of manipulation, then at a minimum, she needs to be able to recognize when those around her are doing so, or she'll simply be outcompeted or taken advantage of. If a woman (or man for that matter) has mastered manipulation like possibly this writer, then you'd likely never be the wiser anyway. Those most prone to this kind of manipulation are those that believe a utopian world is possible.

 

[STR8UP]

why would it be an ego boost?

1) it had nothing to do with you. you were simply an arbitrary item for the girls to 'compete' over
2) whats so special about having low quality women fighting over you?

Who said it had nothing to do with me? And who says that only low quality women are competitive? ALL women are competitive.

Not trying to brag, but I am at a stage in my life where women are quick to recognize that I have achieved a certain amount of status so the game has changed quite a bit. Nowadays I am definitely looked at as the prize.

The discussion wasn't about women wanting a man ONLY because other women want him. It was about women wanting a man who is in demand. It's an ego boost knowing that you are in demand.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Any woman who views the PRIMARY value of the man in her life through the prism of OTHER female competition is one who is still very much IMMATURE.

To measure the worth of a man PRIMARILY by the CROWD that surrounds him as opposed to the CHARACTER of the man who stands at the CENTER of that crowd, is a formula that could only be used by the SHALLOWest of women.

I'm sure that in a fantasy land where everyone is supposed to cling and aspire to some lofty sense of morality or ethics, the notion of a woman actually coping to what comes naturally to her (and men I might add) automatically makes her "low quality." It's time to stop getting off on this self-righteous indignation and making women who are brutally honest about the mechanics that prompt their behavior into "low quality" pass-offs simply because they don't make an effort to pander to your delusions of moral behavior.

What offends you is her frankness and how it doesn't fit into what you think should be expected of her. The longer you refuse to see the machinery behind the behavior the more "low quality" women you'll find populating your world. Some people want to change the game by complaining how it ought to fit their individual skills and level the playingfield in order to succeed and then there are those who take the time to learn it and master it and play the game better. This woman is doing you (and AFCs) a favor and you can't see it because she lays out what prompts womens behavior and you simply think it shouldn't be so. Don't wish the game was easier, wish you were better.

All women compete and vie for attention from the time their first able to socialize at 5 years old to when they're dying their hair at 80. How many threads on this forum have been started bemoaning the behaviors of the attention hoare? Women are socialized and aculturated to seek attention and to use it not only as a form of social proof, but as affirmation and a measure of self-worth. Furthermore, this attention seeking dynamic has a pyscho-biological foundation that's hardwired into women. It premeates every aspect of their lives, from putting on makeup daily to not wanting her man to see her first thing in the morning. Even the most pristine and virtuous woman who'd play to this moralism is still subject to this attention dynamic - they just deny it or hide it better.

Women use attention as a weapon in combat against other women. In fact I'd say that they're even more competitive than men in this aspect, only their battles are fought covertly in the psychological rather than overtly in the physical as men do - we're simply too rational to notice it going on around us. They use ostracization within their peer groups to cut off a rivals access to the attention of the group. The threat of "not being your friend anymore" is a fate worse than death for a small girl and this dynamic only becomes more complex as she ages through adolescence and adulthood.

There are countless social and psychological studies that prove this attention dynamic. To ignore this fact or to say it's immature for a woman to place a high value on the attention of men based on one version of one moral set only denies reality while hoping it would change, and outright promotes an AFC ideology. A primary reason AFCs suffer as they do is because they too readily believe the hypocrisy that the game ought to moralistically change in their favor; and all they do is set themeslves up for disappointment and desperation when women say one thing and behave in contradiction. They all too readily give away their attentions wholesale, rather than seeing it as something necessary to mete out, and therefore make their attentions worthless. This woman is trying to help chumps see what's genuinely prompting their behavior and you want to tar her as "low quality" because she is? All this is is a pathetic AFC rationalization - if she wont play my game she's worthless.

Wake up children! See the Matrix for what it is, stop whining about how women wont play fair and learn to play better.

 

[azanon]

Good post RT; I believe we're thinking along pretty similar lines on this one.

Speaking of women dynamics seen in action, are any of your watching (enjoying) the series "Rome" on HBO like I am? Man that series is awesome. Anyway, you can see a very powerful dynamic going on amonst the women in that series, which is typically far more complex than the dynamics among the men in the show. I highly recommend it, and if you missed the first season, rent the dvd's from netflix or wherever you get your dvd's.

Regarding Rome, the woman character that best fits this discussion is Atia who happens to be my favorite character in the series. If you've watched the series, i would call her a very powerful woman as she is a master of this so-called manipulation. In reality, she simply sees the bigger picture and is quick to make adjustments as changing situations calls for it.

Also, the series has great examples of AFCs and DJs. The top DJ would have to be Mark Antony followed by Titus Pollo and, if you ask me, Octavian (look past his youth), and AFCs are probably Brutus and to some extent Lucius Vorenus (for being so dam* naive).

 

[BlackWidow]

Wow.

Its almost comical how retarded some of you are responding to this woman's point of view. She's writing about the same exact stuff that you gobble up from the main mentors in this forum.

The difference? She's a woman. They're men.

She's only confirming what you already know from what's been regurgitated in these forums! So why is it harder to accept coming from a female? Why does she become 'low quality'? IMO, I think it's great that she's got it figured out, as some of the mentors in this forum do also.

Oh, and give me a break joekerr,

"you aint never had your d*ck sucked the way you will when you are with a woman who is in to YOU for YOU"

It's all relative, man.

 

[Drum&Bass]

Fact: if a woman really likes you, she will jump at the opportunity to get rid of most of her girlfriends who she used to exhaustingly compete with for attention.

The discussion wasn't about women wanting a man ONLY because other women want him. It was about women wanting a man who is in demand.

whats the difference ??

Fact:

No woman of caliber wants to win a man by default. She wants her man to be a prize, a good catch, someone she can be proud of."

Myth:

It just goes to reinforce that women want to be with someone who takes pride in himself too! (If only to make their friends jealous apparently.) Kind of the same rational as going after the hb8+ cause our friends don't want to hear how we bagged an hb4

Fact:we go after attractive women because we are attracted to them, its biology NOT social dynamics, the more attractive a woman, the healthier her genes. It may seem like social dynamics but really guys look down on other guys who go after un-attractive women because it shows weakness and a lack of self respect. (kinda hard to respect a guy who doesn't respect himself)

I'm sure that in a fantasy land where everyone is supposed to cling and aspire to some lofty sense of morality or ethics, the notion of a woman actually coping to what comes naturally to her (and men I might add) automatically makes her "low quality."

well if it goes against morals and ethics....?? doesn't it ??

It's time to stop getting off on this self-righteous indignation and making women who are brutally honest about the mechanics that prompt their behavior into "low quality" pass-offs simply because they don't make an effort to pander to your delusions of moral behavior.

how cute your trying to sound like a competent writer, but what mechanics would you be speaking of specifically ?? and at what age do they apply??

What offends you is her frankness and how it doesn't fit into what you think should be expected of her.

wrong, he's not offended he's an intelligent guy that calls bullsh!t when he see's it.

Some people want to change the game by complaining how it ought to fit their individual skills and level the playingfield in order to succeed and then there are those who take the time to learn it and master it and play the game better.

oh, now we're back to game playing again...maybe we should read the DJ Bible and start using valuabe time for constant sarging, brilliant its like a big circle that will keep sosuave populated for ever (and i don't see any posts about someone wanting to change anything by complaining)!

This woman is doing you (and AFCs) a favor and you can't see it because she lays out what prompts womens behavior and you simply think it shouldn't be so.

thats because IT SHOULDN'T BE SO !!(if we're talking about being with someone for the sheer competition of it) don't get mad at a few guys who know what right and wrong is..they can pull quality women as good as any PUA out there(i hope)..but there also smart enough to know when some things just aint right..so whats your beef ?

Don't wish the game was easier, wish you were better.

what game are we playing this time ??

Myth:

All women compete and vie for attention from the time their first able to socialize at 5 years old to when they're dying their hair at 80.

A girl will willingly get rid of her friends whom she had to compete with for attention when she finds a guy she truly cares about, because a girl does get tired of constantly competing all the time.

Women are socialized and aculturated to seek attention and to use it not only as a form of social proof, but as affirmation and a measure of self-worth. Furthermore, this attention seeking dynamic has a pyscho-biological foundation that's hardwired into women. It premeates every aspect of their lives, from putting on makeup daily to not wanting her man to see her first thing in the morning. Even the most pristine and virtuous woman who'd play to this moralism is still subject to this attention dynamic - they just deny it or hide it better.

i'm sorry...what ?? so women who do accomplish things in life like, artists and scientists, and doctors etc..need attention to prove their self worth ?

Women use attention as a weapon in combat against other women. In fact I'd say that they're even more competitive than men in this aspect, only their battles are fought covertly in the psychological rather than overtly in the physical as men do

maybe you should quit hanging around the high school crowd and cougars.

All this is is a pathetic AFC rationalization - if she wont play my game she's worthless.

I think you've got it ALL WRONG, if a woman doesn't LEARN to say what she means, and GIVE UP THE GAME PLAYING...SHE IS worthless.

Wake up children! See the Matrix for what it is, stop whining about how women wont play fair and learn to play better.

spare me the pseudo intellectual rant..you talk to much

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

thats because IT SHOULDN'T BE SO !!

Cried the AFC who wished life was fair.

 

[BlackWidow]

Amen, RT.

This guy's response is just affirmation for other AFCs.

C-R-A-P.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

i'm sorry...what ?? so women who do accomplish things in life like, artists and scientists, and doctors etc..need attention to prove their self worth ?

This one was worth a response. Yes, actually, a woman's profession in no way diminishes this desire for affirmation through attention. In fact I'd argue it makes them more seeking of it since effort necessary to achieve being a professional success limits their options and access to attention. In some cases the very fact that they chose to strive for these accomplishments is indicative of an attention seeking nature. It's no secret that exceptionally beautiful women have far less motivation to achieve than average looking women. They both value attention, but they get it from different sources and through different methods.

 

[Latinoman]

Good post RT; I believe we're thinking along pretty similar lines on this one.

Speaking of women dynamics seen in action, are any of your watching (enjoying) the series "Rome" on HBO like I am? Man that series is awesome. Anyway, you can see a very powerful dynamic going on amonst the women in that series, which is typically far more complex than the dynamics among the men in the show. I highly recommend it, and if you missed the first season, rent the dvd's from netflix or wherever you get your dvd's.

Regarding Rome, the woman character that best fits this discussion is Atia who happens to be my favorite character in the series. If you've watched the series, i would call her a very powerful woman as she is a master of this so-called manipulation. In reality, she simply sees the bigger picture and is quick to make adjustments as changing situations calls for it.

Also, the series has great examples of AFCs and DJs. The top DJ would have to be Mark Antony followed by Titus Pollo and, if you ask me, Octavian (look past his youth), and AFCs are probably Brutus and to some extent Lucius Vorenus (for being so dam* naive).

Marc Anthony got SEDUCED and literally DESTROYED (as it was the beginning of his end) by Cleopatra (she is indeed the BIGGEST DJ of all in that particular story line). He's a VERY UNdj characteristic.

Octavian (real one) was a DJ as he could captivate the masses. Same with his uncle Julius.

 

[azanon]

Marc Anthony got SEDUCED and literally DESTROYED (as it was the beginning of his end) by Cleopatra (she is indeed the BIGGEST DJ of all in that particular story line). He's a VERY UNdj characteristic.

Octavian (real one) was a DJ as he could captivate the masses. Same with his uncle Julius.

You're talking about history, i'm talking about the show "Rome" thus far. Up until now, there's no question Marc Antony is the most DJ so far. The only sex Octavian has had so far in the series Rome was with 1. a paid hooker and 2. his sister.

I said Octavian was a DJ despite what has happened so far, and said nothing about the now dead Julius. But you are correcct, Julius was definitely a DJ. I'm just focusing on Season 2 now.

Also, thanks for the spoiler. I'm sure long ago i was taught Roman history, but i had since forgotten a lot of it.

 

[Latinoman]

You're talking about history, i'm talking about the show "Rome" thus far. Up until now, there's no question Marc Antony is the most DJ so far. The only sex Octavian has had so far in the series Rome was with 1. a paid hooker and 2. his sister.

I said Octavian was a DJ despite what has happened so far, and said nothing about the now dead Julius. But you are correcct, Julius was definitely a DJ. I'm just focusing on Season 2 now.

Also, thanks for the spoiler. I'm sure long ago i was taught Roman history, but i had since forgotten a lot of it.

It is not a spoiler as it is common knowledge. Marc's skirt chasing and his craziness for Cleopatra are well documented.

Now...I don't know how is going to be portrait in the series as they tend to take some liberties. And I seriously doubt they will focus on Marc and Cleo. They are more focus on Pollo and Lucius.