Argument went horrible

[Atom Smasher]

...What sucks is I do love her and she clearly doesn't see that.

I'm just a controlling bf and trying to limit her fun in her eyes, all I'm trying to do is promote a healthy relationship.

Women couldn't care less about seeing that you love them. They always assume that you do.

It's all about HER interest level. In your case, her interest level has dropped below 50% and therefore she's planning on leaving you. She couldn't care less about you loving her. She cares only how you make her feel.

 

[Thundernuts]

When you next here(and you really need to) she is going to go on the attack.

girl: you're a joke, your a punk, blah blah blah blah
you:.....
girl: you don't even have the balls to say anything!
you...are you done yet?

I've dropped that line before and women hate it.

Get out. Don't say anything don't give her any reasons or closure just leave because you have no reason to stay involved with her.

Always remember women are like cops. Anything you say can and WILL be used against you.

 

[bukowski_merit]

Taken chicks (including married women) who go to bars and clubs with their friends (without you around) to get drunk are looking for other c0cks. I've brought chicks back the same night who I later found out had a boyfriend or was even married. They go out without you around so they can meet guys and get laid. Then when you question them, they get pissed off at you and accuse you of not trusting them or whatever bullsh1t they decide to use. All they are doing is covering up their guilt.

I don't normally agree with the "your girl is banging other dudes" speculation that goes around on these boards whenever a woman acts up or seems to be loses interest... But... I think this is spot on!

And it's extra clear since she's dropping this apartment thing on you how she sees you.

She sees you as the stable boyfriend; provider; person who will be there to clean up her mess, help her out, take her abuse.... She's dropping this apartment thing on you for validation and to lock you in/change the subject, etc.

If you got an apartment together - I 100% believe she would become much worse. Want a girlfriend coming home at 3am smelling like booze and cvm? Let her lock you into a lease with her and see how quick that happens.

Just drop her. Get out of this madness. Drop her!

She will probably come crying, calling, pleading, saying she'll change.... And you must ignore that and move on. Don't believe her hype.

Withdraw your emotional investment and put it elsewhere.

You can't change this girl.


-----

 

[Greasy Pig]

No doubt she'd love to move in with you and bang! She has a babysitter to look after the daughter while she's out trolling for c0ck.

Even if you decide to continue this (which you shouldn't), for fvck's sake don't move in with her.

 

[papawapa]

She gaslighted you bro. That is manipulative abusive bullchit. It will only continue and get worse. She knows she is guilty and in the wrong. She has demonstrated her inability to take ownership of her own behavior. Time to move on.

 

[Sofomore]

Man I really hope OP listens to us.

If he does not end this relationship I will rage quit sosuave. No point in giving advice to people that can't act upon it.

I can see the post in a year from now: "should have listened to you guys!"

It's the same cycle here at sosuave. Guys get incredible advice and are too attached to their "one" that they can't act on it.

Please man up and dump her.

 

[Nn877]

Guys thanks for all the words and I do realize you only have a sample of my relationship, given the fact there was good and also bad. Hearing outside sources helps. I'm trippin right now!

She just called me and told me one of the apartments we put a app in awhile ago called her this morning and approved us!! I told her ill call her back because I'm gettin ready for work. But after this weekend and doubts I've had before this plus your guys feedback, I feel in a major jam.

Knowing her and telling her I'm backing out will crush her and bring out such a smear campaign on me I already know, but I feel like u guys are right I have to be selfish. Part me wants to move in, enjoy the togetherness and sex, meals, etc. and don't get me wrong I'm not making her out as some party girl who goes out thurs-sat, as above poster said it is more so once or twice a month and each time I have got an invite and texting/calling.

Nonetheless I do feel moving in might make things worst, as she is lookin for a supporter. She flipped the script so quick after argument I went nc on her yesterday and now I don't get an apology or acknowledge her behavior on phn.

 

[Sofomore]

Do you plan on marrying this girl in the near future? If no, then moving in together shouldn't be on your mind.

She's using this as an opportunity to lock you down even further and limit your options. It's a lot harder to break up with someone that you live with. Think about it.

It's either going to go one way or the other. What does your gut say? Always trust your gut.

 

[Epimanes]

Dude. I'm a vet on the marriage builders forum and even they would say DO NOT MOVE IN TOGETHER before marriage. It WILL complicate things even more. If your going to stay with her.. Do so from your own pad. Don't share one with her until your comitted to marry her. This way if things are not working out (I believe I already said this) you can GO HOME and protect the love you do have for her.

Here. Read what a psychologist who has been saving marriages for almost 40 years says about moving in together before marriage. Then make your own conclusion. http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5025_qa.html

Epi

 

[Masculinity]

Never, ever, under any circumstances, let anyone shame standards out of you.

You will be called bitter, untrusting, unloving, misogynist, etc,.... But at the end of the day, you are the one who has to live with your choices. Such people just want to use you and will act like children pouting for a cupcake if you don't sacrifice your standards for them.

Being a man means setting boundaries, having the backbone to stick with them, and not letting anyone shame you into accepting their poor behavior. Stay strong mate.

Well said.

OP: As I am sure other posters have suggested, I would dump this party girl if is not willing to put her drinks down.

Do NOT move in with her unless you want the drama to get even worse.

 

[usernamedox11]

You want to know how to fvck with her head? When she starts arguing with you, just sit there and nod and go "mmm" and wait for her to stop talking. If she says that she doesn't want sex then just agree and wait for her to leave. If she is threatening to leave then just sit there and wait for her to leave. If she it is telling you that she's gonna do whatever she's gonna do then just get up and leave.

Just. Say. Nothing. Women are too good with words and you will never beat them in an argument. They are absolutely terrified of silence, especially with someone they have feelings for.

Field tested many, many, many times in the course of standard relationships, friends with benefits, fvck buddies and open relationships.

Dude, can't beat a woman in an argument? I beat down b1tches with logic. Doesn't help get me laid but I'll make a b1tch feel stupid.

By the way, OP:

Never live with a girl you're in a relationship with unless you're married to her.

 

[Turuwal]

Dude, can't beat a woman in an argument? I beat down b1tches with logic. Doesn't help get me laid but I'll make a b1tch feel stupid.

Yep you're definitely right. I too can generally win any logical argument with any woman or any man.

Unfortunately it does nothing for me except to engender bad feelings. That's why I stopped doing it and just fvck with them now days.

 

[Nn877]

So she just texted me the landlords number he needs to ask me questions etc, it's funny how no over convo topic has been made since that phn argument, she text me abt some showing yesterday then got mad I couldn't make it and called me this morning sayin we got selected for this spot.

I can't believe I almost pulled the trigger, thank god my credt was bad or we would of got a spot a month ago. I still want to move in but I know it's prob not for the best. Esp w her daughter, at 5 she's really smart I hate to grow closer w her then 6 months I can't do it anymore and we break up.

I shouldn't of prolonged this and made a decision as a man. She keeps texting me did I call the landlord or what did he say.

 

[Sofomore]

Tell her you're not ready to move in. Any normal understanding woman would calmly say "I understand, what's holding you back?" Not blow it up into a fight like your girl is about to do.

Use that argument as a way to end it with her. Dude you need to grab your balls and do what's best for you! Stop acting like a wuss. Do you want to be forced to move in with someone or move in with a girl that respects you?

 

[El Suave]

OP, looks to me that every single poster on this forum agrees!! Not ONE has told you so far to keep trying with this girl. You are like a chick right now and thinking with your feelings. A MAN SHOULD NOT DO THAT UNLESS HE WANTS TO GET BURNT.

 

[Nn877]

I agree, I have tendency to not think logically and instead of how I feel. And look where that has got me. I don't like what I hear from outside sources or sometimes choose to overlook it, but you guys and my friends think with pure logic because obv you guys have no emotional/feelings towards her but me.

 

[SeymourCake]

Clubbing, women nights out frequently on friday nights = bachelors party with real penis.

 

[rascal99v]

I don't like what I hear from outside sources or sometimes choose to overlook it

You hear and see bad things and you choose to ignore it. That's your own fault.

So, you want to keep this thing going by adding more misery? Dude, you had two rounds of a relationship with her. It's getting worse the way she is treating you. Do you think it's going to get any better if you move in with her? No. That's what you thought when you went back to her this time. Now you will have to put with her sh1t 24/7 with her being drunk, going out clubbing, and you will be the one to take care of her daughter. Why the fvck would you want to take on that responsibility? Your life is going to be a living hell in that environment.

She could accuse you of doing sh1t when she's drunk and you will have a hell of a time trying to get her out of there. She gave you a free pass to end this sh1t when you got in your argument. Why don't you use it and be done with it? You were able to get this mess, so there is no reason why you can't find a respectable woman who will respect you.

Some men are too naive and refuse to believe their girlfriends (or wives) will fvck around behind their backs. They go out for their "Girls Nights Out" (without you around) so they can get drunk and look for other c0cks. They have their single girlfriends with them, so when dudes come up to them, they are "single" too. They flirt, kino, kiss, get numbers, get groped, and even leave with other men. I've seen it happen, I've taken these women out of the clubs, I've had friends who had this happen to. Some guys will call it "fear" or "paranoia" which is fvcking stupid when you know for a fact that this happens every night of the week somewhere in the world. Any girlfriend who go out to clubs and bars regularly with her friends to get drunk (without wanting you there) is up to no good and looking for other c0cks. Otherwise, she would want you to have fun with her and she wouldn't act shady about her night going out.

We all gave you great advice on what to do. It's now up to you to make your own decision. There really is no need to continue this thread or discuss what you should do anymore.

You have two choices here.

1. You dump her and be free of her

2. You stay on with her and suffer in misery with more of her bullsh1t

What's it gonna be?

 

[Night-hawk]

Girls like this are not long term dating material. They're barely fvcking material because they're normally not reliable people.

You will always be competing with the club. Even when you win - she will always see you trying to ruin her fun. No amount of logic will work on these types of women. The resentment and spite is thick. Tell her not to - and no victory will be had either way.

Best bet: Leave her, and ignore the phone calls that follow...

First LT gf in a nut shell. This is the kind of mental acrobatics that will do all but keep you limber, in shape, in control, and landing on the mark...because your dizzy and the solutions are a straight line.

Once you cut the string from her finger, you're no longer her yo-yo.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoRalobIcME

I'm sure there is a metaphor in there somewhere.

 

[Epimanes]

Well. Bottom line is its OPs choice.

None of what we have advised is "this" or "that" or of gospel of any kind. Rather perspective's with objective view points based on each individuals experiences with their small percentage of the population of women in their limited time on earth.

There will ALWAYS be "what if's" with everyone but if you know someone well enough you give them the benifit of the doubt so you don't live in a constant state of anxiety and fear over the worst case scenerio. If somones going to cheat... There's absolutely nothing you can do about it so why worry unless you have 100% undisputable proof. If your relationship is meant to be you will both have your own convicted boundries in favor of protecting eachothers best interests. If not.. Well then it will be obvious.

Epi

*sips some sambuka* hic*