Argument went horrible

[JoeMarron]

Dude if you move in with this chick I will personally buy a plane ticket for every man on sosuave to come over and smack you. I looked at your post history and I'm assuming this is the same chick you broke up with earlier. This relationship is fvcked bro. There are blindingly red flags glaring at you and if you ignore them then you deserve everything that's coming to you. No self respecting man would reward a chick like this by moving in with her.

 

[Nn877]

I've received huge amount of advice, really appreciate it guys and I wish every man should know about sosuave only if they contribute lol

Just wanted to update you guys, for those who have been on thread since day 1.

sunday night: argument went down no resolve and got off phone heated and confused about whether I want to continue this path or I was overreacting. She did get drunk but did call and also invited me to go, which I declined. Not making excuses but same time her behavior wasn't warranted given I have expressed my displease w clubs and gettin drunk.

tuesday : I'm NC she texts me at 4 pm, saying there's an apartment viewing at 6 pm, I reply hour later I can't make it. Her exact response: "Ok nvm it doesnt really seem like moving is as important to u as it is to me so ill just handle it." I went out for dinner w fam, didn't tell her but fact I said I can't she didn't ask if I had plans or not. We don't talk rest of day.

Today: Blows me up this morning, says landlord called and we are approved just need to come down. At this point in my mind this was a huge suprise given my thoughts abt this weeknd/argument. I avoid topic and she presses to talk later in the day, we meet on lunch break (we work very close)

I begin to tell her I'm not sure if I want to thru with this and need time to think and consider everything. Breakdown the whole club thing once more as she brought it up, kept tone strong and came at her that I found it disrespectful etc.
she seems more receptive now, funny how she's more understanding now after we get approved. She even texted me afterwards I looked sexy and that she loves me and would never put her self in a situation that would mess us up.

Sunday seemed like she could care less. Am I lookin too far into it? We talked on the phone not too long ago and I kept it short, she called me, and basically reinstated that she would tone it down and or was mainly mad Sunday cause I was out also and I was trying to double standard her. I'm still leaning towards ending it but part of me does want to entertain thought of maybe I'm hugely overreacting and she is being honest.

I bought some time and she said landlord will need to know by noon tmw, I'm going to sleep on this and make my decision. Thank you for those you kept posting, danger, Epi, atom smasher, rascal and sofomore sound advice and repped brothers .

-Nick

 

[Packers2010]

Club ho's are only a few spaces removed from strippers and bartenders my man, remove yourself.

They explode like that when they're guilty.

this

^^

Sounds like she's looking for an 'out', OP, and make it seem like it's your fault.

and then this.

dude, you know your gf will cheat on you. it's like a forgon conclustion here. ( I'm from perth) people just live for the weekend and get drunk it's pathetic.

the anount of incacure bfs in the club is WAY to high. the amout of times I have just OPENED a girl and within 5econds some dude is there either making out with her or has is arm around her shoulder. it's fooking insiane. like, if you have a bf GET THE FOOK OUT THE CLUB.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Stand on your principles man. If she can't stick to it then you just need to end it with her.

A club is for single people. I don't know about any of you guys but when I go to the club it is to get and f*ck bvtches. Sounds to me like she isn't ready for a serious relationship if she wants to do that. There are so many other things she can do as an alternative if she wants to get out of the house.

As far as moving in with her. Why would you move in with a disrespectful girl AND HER daughter. You got the insta-family thing going on. You don't think you can get a non-disrespectful girl without a daughter?

You know what the right move is playa but your thinking with your heart and not your brain. I've been there and done that. Trust me when I say you need to end it with her and move on.

 

[Jaylan]

RIP OPs man card

 

[G_Govan]

Nn877,

She is being sweet to you because now she needs an apartment from you. I personally guarantee you that once you are on a lease with her, her behavior will go back to what is has been previously.

You are not being unreasonable and you are not overreacting.

Moving in together will not stop her poor behavior or make her more mature. It will only cement you into a position you cannot extract yourself from.

^^^This.

As you've seen first hand, women can and will flip a switch on their behavior on a whim. They are master manipulators of men.

I got into a bit of an argument over what I perceived as disrespect from a chick, she shot back with some petty insult. As I was getting ready to hit the kill switch on the conversation she asked me an irrelevant question about a medical condition I had cleared up a year ago. She knew it was no longer an issue and only asked because I was pissed, pretending like she was concerned to throw me off balance. I called her out on it and ended the conversation.

All of this happened within seconds. One minute she's insulting me and the next she's concerned about me (patronizing).

Don't fall for this **** and maintain your principles. You've got obvious flags you need not ignore.

 

[goldengoose]

I'm going to sleep on this and make my decision.

You mean you can't decide? The fear of being alone is what makes men make rash decisions. Men allow women to treat them as poorly as they want, as long as they say they have a girlfriend around. She is using you to get an apartment. You already saw her true colors. It's your life if that's what you want.

 

[Thundernuts]

Her exact response: "Ok nvm it doesnt really seem like moving is as important to u as it is to me so ill just handle it."

I once dated a girl who was bipolar. this was back when I didn't know jack about women didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, hell I didn't even have a car I was 19. She dumped me for a guy who had his **** together and his parents bought him a house in Austin and he already had his degree. After this guy kicks her out of his house she comes back to me and after I only fvcked her a few times she wanted us to get married. She had a kid. She wanted me to get some dead-end job that would be enough to pay the bills while she went to school full-time and her parents watched the baby. Dude I was a pathetic excuse of a man and I told her no. She got married to some other dumbass and got divorced after not even two years.

she seems more receptive now, funny how she's more understanding now after we get approved. She even texted me afterwards I looked sexy and that she loves me and would never put her self in a situation that would mess us up.

fvckin hilarious

Sunday seemed like she could care less. Am I lookin too far into it? We talked on the phone not too long ago and I kept it short, she called me, and basically reinstated that she would tone it down and or was mainly mad Sunday cause I was out also and I was trying to double standard her. I'm still leaning towards ending it but part of me does want to entertain thought of maybe I'm hugely overreacting and she is being honest.

I bought some time and she said landlord will need to know by noon tmw, I'm going to sleep on this and make my decision. Thank you for those you kept posting, danger, Epi, atom smasher, rascal and sofomore sound advice and repped brothers .

-Nick

Listen to me. This woman wants to have you on lockdown. You know what, there is a small possibility that she will change. But my question for you is did she change before?

When you got back together with her did you just assume she was gonna know what she was doing wrong and fix herself or did you tell her she needs to stop.

Look man a drunk guy is going to go out and show everyone just how much of a dumbass he can really be. A drunk woman is going to go out and show a few people just how much of a raging, c0ck craving-slvt she is.

You already know what you need to do I just wanted to put my 2-cents in before you went to bed to sleep on it.

I hope you don't move in with this girl you could make a mistake that could derail your life right now because you've had a few good times with a woman.

 

[Nn877]

You guys have no idea how much sense you put in my head, and one of my closest friends. I thought abt it all night and wrestled it a lot. This morning I was in position to tell her I wasn't moving in and that's that. Well I showed up and told her id look at the place once more, at this point I was considering moving in. I was very on the fence however and million things going thru my head, she kept asking what I want to do and am I sure etc.

Well guys I fuvkin sign the lease! And after telling my close friend he was shocked and after really taking in what everyone has said I feel like no matter how much I want it, logically it's a huge mistake. I read the lease and there's a 24 hour clause to get out.

I dragged this out too long and my friend agreed to go with me tmw morning as I am gonna cancel the lease and tell her it's over. She's going to be devastated/angry I really don't know how she's going to handle it and I feel horrible for leading her to believe I was going to do it and tbh a month ago I would of without question, but her actions have clearly showed her priorities and my insecurities have not gone better. This is a hard decision for me and even tho things seem black and white I am emotional invested in a fuvked up way, I need to find strength and do this tho.

Thanks guys

 

[Thundernuts]

OP just remember the greatest thing you can do when dealing is not to fear walking away. a lot of guys on here would not accept this kind of behavior and I hope your friend goes with you because it sounds to me like if your on your own your gonna buckle and not do it.

 

[bukowski_merit]

I dragged this out too long and my friend agreed to go with me tmw morning as I am gonna cancel the lease and tell her it's over. She's going to be devastated/angry I really don't know how she's going to handle it and I feel horrible for leading her to believe I was....

STOP! She will never feel horrible for the things she's put you through. They will all be your fault in her mind....

Example (in her head): It's not her fault she likes to go clubbing every once in a while - it's your fault for being insecure about it.


So... It's not your fault you're breaking the lease - it's her fault for having severe dating dysfunctions.


Hopefully your friend doesn't let you change your mind - I know if one of my friends was doing what you did - I'd be at his house RIGHT NOW dragging him to the leasing office.

 

[Nn877]

Sat in car for 20 mins and thank god for my friend to give me little extra push but I walked into lease office and ended it. Thankyou everyone for words of wisdom.

 

[Nn877]

Advice on thread was golden. Phone call was hard to do as I know moving out was big deal for her. But her response was all about her and she was pissssed, granted I did end it without her consent but I had to do what I had to do.

She even said well you don't have a gf anymore lmaooo, basically I backed out on a lease and you can't be with me anymore? She knew I wasn't completely bought in, yet she failed to ask for reasons or understanding. I really wasn't moved by her response as I was cold and didn't say anything more than I couldn't do it and I canceled the lease, just wasn't right decision for me right now. She was so adamant that she told everyone, why did you lead me on, etc. That was Thursday and it's been radio silence since. I really don't need to give her anymore closure and I doubt she will either. I hope she doesn't come around again, last time she said delete my number yet I got miss you texts a month later. We'll see.

Make matters more clear I made right decision, she even posted a pic on Instagram about some stupid love quote saying, my heart is stronger now and I'll be okay. I didn't read rest, but are you serious? Literally posted that. Oh well someone else can deal with her immature self centered mindset. I still miss her in a messed up way and what she used to be but I know that girl is long gone and I dodged a bullet so to say.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Great work OP! You deserve a big pat on the back for acting like a man and doing what was best for you.
Now delete all traces of her lest you get sucked back in to her vortex of bvllsht.
Deleting her Facebook, Instagram and all that is the final step on your journey to finding your true self and becoming a DJ.
And you're right, she'll be someone else's problem now. You'll be too busy being awesome to care. :rock:

 

[bukowski_merit]

Advice on thread was golden. Phone call was hard to do as I know moving out was big deal for her. But her response was all about her and she was pissssed, granted I did end it without her consent but I had to do what I had to do.

She even said well you don't have a gf anymore lmaooo, basically I backed out on a lease and you can't be with me anymore? She knew I wasn't completely bought in, yet she failed to ask for reasons or understanding. I really wasn't moved by her response as I was cold and didn't say anything more than I couldn't do it and I canceled the lease, just wasn't right decision for me right now. She was so adamant that she told everyone, why did you lead me on, etc. That was Thursday and it's been radio silence since. I really don't need to give her anymore closure and I doubt she will either. I hope she doesn't come around again, last time she said delete my number yet I got miss you texts a month later. We'll see.

Make matters more clear I made right decision, she even posted a pic on Instagram about some stupid love quote saying, my heart is stronger now and I'll be okay. I didn't read rest, but are you serious? Literally posted that. Oh well someone else can deal with her immature self centered mindset. I still miss her in a messed up way and what she used to be but I know that girl is long gone and I dodged a bullet so to say.

I don't often rep users for taking advice - but in this case - I'm repping you!

Most guys don't have the balls to grab their balls and do what needs to be done. You did it; you recognized it; you have grown a lot just by this single action. I often think that 99% of guys who get advice on here don't put it to use - it's good to see someone breaking that trend.

Now, it's time to start over with new women. Put this one to rest, and ignore any contact she attempts from here.

 

[JoeMarron]

I don't often rep users for taking advice - but in this case - I'm repping you!

Most guys don't have the balls to grab their balls and do what needs to be done. You did it; you recognized it; you have grown a lot just by this single action. I often think that 99% of guys who get advice on here don't put it to use - it's good to see someone breaking that trend.

Now, it's time to start over with new women. Put this one to rest, and ignore any contact she attempts from here.

Agreed. Few men have the fortitude to follow good advice and make the right decision despite how much it may hurt in the short term. It may hurt like a b!tch now, some days you'll really miss her and question if you made the right decision. However, later on you'll be able to look back on this moment with pride, knowing that you have respect for yourself and won't settle for trash. Kudos to you sir.

 

[SgtSplacker]

This club hore is shaming you, and you will never, in a billion years win this argument.

It's time for a pre-emptive strike, because believe me, pal, she is planning to walk. Read that last sentence again. She is looking to swing to a new branch and will not leave you until she has a grab on another guy, and believe me she is looking.

You need to tell her (totally calmly and dispassionately), "You know, I've been thinking. I think you were right. I'd rather not continue a relationship with you." Don't engage in ANY type of conversation and don't explain. If you verbalize & engage, you will lose.

Simply tell her how it is and disappear into the night. You will shock her into oblivion. You need to flip the script on her immediately. She has you and your relationship in her sites and as soon as a suitable guy shows up to stroke her massive ego, she's going to pull the trigger.

This man knows what he's talking about, listen to him!

That girl already has you categorized as a lame duck man. She's gonna meet some DJ at the club saying all the right things to (lay) her while she's drunk and she's going to bang him.

Take control now, don't let it end because she left you a chump that's trying to take away her personal life. End it because she's a disrespectful HO that thinks a night in a club is more important than your relationship.

Keep your frame! put your foot down!

End it on your terms...

 

[Epimanes]

Good job OP.

 

[Nn877]

Thanks for the rep merit

I really don't have any plates or much going on right now and that's okay because I took the first step in doing what's right for myself. Her attractiveness and sex, plus the few great months in the beginning was clouding my judgement. I finally realized and asked the question "take away sex, what value does she bring into my life?" It was very hard to find an answer to that.

I don't know if most guys have just fear of being alone or just become too invested but end of day you have to be selfish and take care of you before someone else.