Are most married guys Betas?

[mrgoodstuff]

This is kind of why I look at romance as silly. I mean sex is one thing. But the desire for another person to care about you is silly imo. Most women can’t see beyond their own noses to care about you, lol.

They taught me if they arent coming to me or fvcking me then its a waste of time.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I was Beta AF when I was married.

 

[Epic Days]

Once a chick develops an ego identity as “attractive “ all her actions will be to preserve this image of herself. Losing her image would feel like death. That’s why they have no problems screwing you over. It’s literally life and death for these women, lol.

And some women develop an ego Image of “the hottest girl.” These chicks are the most trouble. They would manipulate their way into making you lose all other options just to keep their image alive. These chicks aren’t afraid of your devalidation so if you end up with one, you will likely end up with nothing.

And then there’s the biggest ego of them all - the hottest thing. Not even hottest woman. Just thing. These women will compete with you for power, lmao. They will flirt with other guys just to prove they can get more validation than you. They perceive your dominant presence as a threat to their image of the hottest thing alive.

In the end, she just becomes another hag. An old pathetic hag. Lol

A woman will always be weaker than I.

 

[ubercat]

Hmm bit of balance. U guys know I m eyes wide open.

However some of the evidence being presented here also exists in a healthy relationship. a lot of guys let their woman do whatever she likes around the house because it's minutiae of life and they couldn't care less what colour the curtains are etc.

Agree totally about the family laws. it's actually worse in Australia because we have common law marriage and other words the state gives her a claim on your assets by default after six months.

It's just like unemployment benefits here they treat you like a criminal if you are between gigs so you won't claim. all designed to minimise the bill to the state and maximize the output from the citizens / revenue units.

 

[ubercat]

BTW the crabs in bucket/life as Instagram is what I have been calling out as happening at work these days. I think my industry IT is particularly bad because the agile disease gave an excuse for all the younglings to take power.

Some of the other respected senior posters e.g. @zekko have pointed out that they have had great female bosses. Well so have I. But there has been a step change at least in my industry in the last 2-3 years. now it doesn't matter how good you are at your job if you're not popular you are gone in the next reorg which will be literally just months away.

And the ladies are naturally designed for the popularity contest.

there are a few patches of sanity that actually care about outcomes but they are generally highly technical shops with male bosses.

 

[touma.akagi]

My dad's a (re)married beta. He may not be for long. I suspect he's in the closet too, but suffice it to say he's living a mediocre life with nothing exciting going on independent of her (unless he's secretly got affairs). I've taken notes not to end up like him.

If my suspicions are correct, his wife will, will throw his sorry ass under the bus the instant she sees an opportunity.

 

[Tdawg]

Just about all of my close friends are married with kids. It seems any time I want to try and get our kids together (I’m divorced and have two), if wife is busy or isn’t available it doesn’t happen. Now is this them relying on their wives for every damn thing in that they can’t make a move without them or too damn lazy as a parent?
I do anything with my kids, as I’m used to being alone with them. But does this go further than what I’m asking? I get the married dynamic but these guys are raising boys and I see it troubling. Am I looking too deep into it?

Maybe they're like me, the wife handles all the day to day bull****, and does everything for the kids. I couldn't tell you my kids schedule, what they ate for lunch, when's their next game, or anything like that. I'm luck to remember their birthdays. So yes, if i'm taking them on a play date (haven't done that yet, but if I did), i'd have to ask my wife if they already had plans. I still run the major decisions, just not the day to day ones.

 

[Mbuckets82]

It’s annoying af. They can’t exist with their kids without the wife around. That’s what it boils down to. Dependence on her for everything involving then.

 

[Epimanes]

It can never be happy wife happy life.... she will inevitably eventually not be happy no matter what.... you have to find a way to make it happy spouse happy house.... so your both included.... otherwise it will just be game over one day.

Ask me how i know.... lol... actually dont bother... i learned a serious lesson after 25yrs with same woman.

*rolls eyes*

Im beginning to like my freedom.. im 41 and have so much life ahead of me still and my kids are mostly grown now....im very thankful for that.. but yes i was beta AF ... conformed to her every whim.... had a kid at 19 she was 18.

Funny.... i asked my son (15) if he has a gf... he said heck no dad... i like girls but i wana finish school first and become a pharmacist.... i dont wana get trapped like you did and not be able to set myself up financially. Lol.... smart kid...

 

[Fruitbat]

Yo. I considered myself sigma whenever I’ve read the definitions and I married late, and I married foreign. I never found a western woman whom the idea of wifeing her up seemed like suicide. Too much crazy feminism in my generation.

Am I controlled? Hmm, well, I can say generally I have the final say on everything. My wife will say things like “you won’t let me buy X y z, you don’t love me” (note this is an obvious joke. She’s just chancing her arm wanting gucci bags lol). Note: she understands it’s my final decision. However, we did agree she could spend a lot of our cash on dental work that she did def need. So I think we’re pretty sensible and I don’t mind her having a good life part funded by me. She also works but I earn a hell of a lot more. She contributes to stuff like holidays, food, stuff for house etc.

shes had 2 partners before me. The first she said he was paranoid and was checking with her friends to see what she was doing (beta). The next guy, she said he was lovely but he didn’t stand up to her mother and also she said he got anything she wanted and she felt like he didn’t have his head screwed on....I always explain when she wants stupid stuff about how we need to retain money for bad times etc etc. I’m not just bragging but it’s for both of our own good. However, if I’ve got it, cheddar, green, she’s got it. I share it. I just don’t let her piss it away.

I’m controlled in the following ways: untidiness in house (she’s the boss there), stuff forher pregnancy (she asks and she gets it - pillows, food, medicine, etc). Oh, and I’m expected to give her lifts in the car, not always but if I’m not working. Oh, and excessive drinking and smoking. She doesn’t like that and I get a hard time over it. Other than that, no control really. So I’m not sure if that makes me a beta or what but seems pretty healthy to me.

 

[evan12]

Just about all of my close friends are married with kids. It seems any time I want to try and get our kids together (I’m divorced and have two), if wife is busy or isn’t available it doesn’t happen. Now is this them relying on their wives for every damn thing in that they can’t make a move without them or too damn lazy as a parent?
I do anything with my kids, as I’m used to being alone with them. But does this go further than what I’m asking? I get the married dynamic but these guys are raising boys and I see it troubling. Am I looking too deep into it?

I live in Canada, and I can tell you in Canada there is too much pressure on husbands to be pets of their wives , from Canadian channels that keep insulting the manhood and men, to the banker that give you a look if you want to take any financial decision and your wife is not present even if you tell them she trust your decisions .
I think men become beta in the west for two reasons :
1- Because the reality is that woman is in stronger position in case any conflict arise, from police, court, society , etc.
2- There is a strong social pressure on man to give control for the woman.

 

[bcude]

It can never be happy wife happy life.... she will inevitably eventually not be happy no matter what.... you have to find a way to make it happy spouse happy house.... so your both included.... otherwise it will just be game over one day.

Ask me how i know.... lol... actually dont bother... i learned a serious lesson after 25yrs with same woman.

*rolls eyes*

Yeah the problem with "happy wife, happy life" is that she will take as much as she can get, which is more and more the more you raise your standards, so she will never be totally happy.
It's the feminine imperative's message to create well behaved supplicating men that leads to the destruction of all marriages ironically.

 

[sosousage]

Just about all of my close friends are married with kids. It seems any time I want to try and get our kids together (I’m divorced and have two), if wife is busy or isn’t available it doesn’t happen. Now is this them relying on their wives for every damn thing in that they can’t make a move without them or too damn lazy as a parent?
I do anything with my kids, as I’m used to being alone with them. But does this go further than what I’m asking? I get the married dynamic but these guys are raising boys and I see it troubling. Am I looking too deep into it?

that, or they use wifey as excuse to not meet you, same like "i dont have time" instead of "i dont like you" to avoid drama

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Just about all of my close friends are married with kids. It seems any time I want to try and get our kids together (I’m divorced and have two), if wife is busy or isn’t available it doesn’t happen. Now is this them relying on their wives for every damn thing in that they can’t make a move without them or too damn lazy as a parent?
I do anything with my kids, as I’m used to being alone with them. But does this go further than what I’m asking? I get the married dynamic but these guys are raising boys and I see it troubling. Am I looking too deep into it?

rollo tomassi is the godfather of the red pill and he married epiphany phase knowing that is after the CC. He knows gender dynamics.Yet he acts as a guy who doesn't know or acts despite knowing.

Its all ****ed. I don't have kids. I don't know how to proceed with it and avoid divorce rape outside moving to South East Asia. Even then, you can be destroyed.

The sentiment of "walking with God" comes to mind. Know your true north. Stay true. Be the best man you can. Stop caring about anything else but you and your kids.

Enjoy the decline.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

The answer to the OP question is yes, but is more complicated than that.

Your SMV is not constans throughout your life and high SMV corresponds with alpha attributes.

However, marriage is mostly reserved for men with assets or assets leverage over woman's material assets.

Money is not as high as status and looks in terms of scoring with women but its enough alone to marry a woman (and looks and status are factors that allow man with money to pick a suitable partner).

Now, most of decent betas do marry (and their wives are usually not that attractive and unfaithful to significant extent).

Guys that marry early with hot chicks and have children early are Alpha 1.0 guys - they slowly degrade to beta and live in 'higher beta' sphere (women and child suck too many assets from them too quickly to allow them to develop into apex form of men - women know they have good genes and don't want to waste opportunity and let them go - moreover women know much better than them that their possibilities are vast so they capture them before they will understand meaning of life). Alpha 1.0 is a knight lured by a siren, forever letting go his greater purpose to serve Mother Nature.

Sigmas (alpha 2.0 mindset but beta level S/M factors) do not marry or marry late in their lives and usually pick well. Sigma lacks the stability and raw but simple power of coherent S/M/V of alpha 1.0 and is not as stable as alpha 1.0 - he is also more intuitive about social dynamics and knows the price of sex thus he is too unstable for women for marriage material - later on (when already succesful) he is attractive for woman and often mislabeled as 'gay' as he knows what they are after much better than other guys.

Alpha 2.0 has raw SMV power of alpha 1.0 and looks and intuition equal to Sigma (possibly better looks/less or equal intuition) - guys like that almost never marry or marry HB10s and are apex males/princes without titles among nowadays men (Dan Bilzerian). Alphas 2.0 get husband privilige with other guys women (even Alpha 1.0 or Sigma) if they want it. They are the best what nature provided for women.

+1 superb post

Agreed till you reference of dan bilzarin. He's a trust fund baby who pays hookers. Nothing alpha about that. Dicaprio is a better example.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yeah the problem with "happy wife, happy life" is that she will take as much as she can get, which is more and more the more you raise your standards, so she will never be totally happy.
It's the feminine imperative's message to create well behaved supplicating men that leads to the destruction of all marriages ironically.

Handing over all your stuff has never faired well.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I live in Canada, and I can tell you in Canada there is too much pressure on husbands to be pets of their wives , from Canadian channels that keep insulting the manhood and men, to the banker that give you a look if you want to take any financial decision and your wife is not present even if you tell them she trust your decisions .
I think men become beta in the west for two reasons :
1- Because the reality is that woman is in stronger position in case any conflict arise, from police, court, society , etc.
2- There is a strong social pressure on man to give control for the woman.

I've crushed several over the years especially on vaca. Still, Canadian girls are better than the UK and America. Not by much.

I can't stress it enough. Man must adapt.

Women from a evolutionairy perspective are better at adaptation and collectivism. They vote accordingly. They will slut oyt in best days. Cash out as SMV craters and or the wall. Cucks Continue to play house after best yrs are done.

At this stage, self knowledge and exploring consciousness is king. The pursuit is self actualization. I can't fix this **** or the degenerate society.

Its 2020. Focus is as follows :

1. Purpose
2. Health
3. Game

Purpose, biz, paper right, etc.
Health, fitness, gym, lift, diet, nutrition, etc.
Game, lifestyle, social skills, language, edu, srlf knowledge, exploring consciousness, self actualized, and ya pull baaaaaes!

I'm conflicted by the chaos. Purpose acquire resources, money, etc but I can't take it with me to that next place.

No money sucks. Poverty is garbage. I grew up around squalor. I remember projects and learning fast to throw hands.


Evan Mate, I agree with you but focus 110% of efforts to your dream. Time is fragile. Know your truth.

 

[Reyaj]

Ex. Yesterday I went to a once in a lifetime sporting event that my married friend and I planned on going to for the longest, only for him to bail because his wife had other plans for him on NYE/NY day. I went with a female instead and had an awesome time.

See this right here is all too common these days and is the symptom of the great problem of the woman dominating the relationship.

Barring any significant family issues or concern that needs to be addressed one should not change plans to do something he wants to.

Happy wife Happy life is true but the irony is being a strong framed man is what will make her happy (or content for those who don't believe happiness exists).

 

[Pajeet Singh]

If a man is the leader at the start of the relationship, once they are married, the beatdown and breaking of spirits begins, as it is now harder for him to simply walk away. Kids, a house purchase, etc all set this hook deeper. The deeper her gets, the less power he has and the more power she has due to biased family law. It becomes easier and easier for him to cave in, because there is so much for him to lose.

In the end, 70% of divorces are filed for by women, so he loses anyways. House, kids, money ….POOF! Gone.

A man's power lies in his ability to easily leave.

Good point but what is the solution?

 

[Carson02]

If the marriage is about a power struggle, it is doomed from the start.
Too many men sacrifice their own values and happiness to appease their wives. Some people are never happy, and no amount of sacrificing will fill their void.

Self-sacrificing is about fear. Fear that she will withhold sex, love, or even walk away if he does not change for her or devote himself for her happiness.

I have seen a handful of instances where the dominant wife/girlfriend is verbally harassed/abused by someone, and her otherwise obedient husband/boyfriend stood by and did nothing. The women were each shocked when they were holding his balls.

A man must maintain his inner strength and security that his wife and eventual family can draw from.
Like others are said certain areas are a compromise, a marriage is about two. He must not lose his self respect or values. He must not lose his willingness to walk away, not as a continual threat, but as the final point of no return.