Are girls allowed to post? problem with dude

[Hayley79]

guys, i have one question, and i promise i won't bug you anymore with my chick crap (and i'll be happy to offer you guys advice when i can). :cheer:

i am 25 and dating a 21 year old. we are long distance for the summer, and wont see each other for months. he was calling me his girlfriend before i left, and we had been together 3 and a half months before i left for the summer.

i was also away for 4 weeks in may... when i got back he confessed (after he slept over) that he had kissed another girl in a bar the night before i got back. he said he was so drunk he had no idea what was going on, and she had kissed him. i think i also recall asking if he got her number and he said no. later, i checked his phone and saw it was there, confronted him and he deleted it right away. he was professing how i was the girl he really wanted to be with, hes so sorry for hurting me, he wrote me a song, ect. i forgave.

but now we are apart again. nothing was really discussed extensively before i left. but i figure, if he doesn't think much of this then he will do what he wants. so i told him to do what he wants. he said he thinks if there relationship is strong enough it will stand on its own. so no rules were set.

i am not planning on doing anything else with any other guy. if i did, i would call him up first and tell him, and if its against the rules we'd break up. of course, the person would have to be worth breaking up with the first guy for.

so i guess my question is, does this guy sound legitamite to you guys? do you really behave liek this if you are into a girl? he acts like he is into me, but then theres this other crap that goes on. am i wasting my time with him? keep in mind, i don't intend on marrying him... he for sure isnt ready for that, and we are both away at grad program and i am a couple years ahead of him, so we will have to part ways in one years time anyway when i graduate. any insight is welcome.

 

[iveyleeger]

> Are girls allowed to post?

no. bye bye

 

[penkitten]

yes chicks can post here :cheer:

so anyhow , i would next him and cut the contact.
if he wanted you, why was he kissing another girl?

if he really is into you, he will let you know.

if he isnt , well just expect some late nite phone calls every now and then....

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

If you gave him mindblowing sex, then he wouldn't be needing other girls' phone numbers or kissing them. You've got to take some responsibility too here.

My opinion is that long distance relationships are tough already add to that the fact that you are older and don't see a future with him, makes me wonder what you'd want to accomplish being serious with him? At 25, you don't have that much time to lose on younger guys if your goals are to be a wife and mother. The clock is ticking and time flies way faster as you get older. So if you're into just having fun then keep him and agree to see other people (that's what he wants based on his actions) and what you *seem* to want based on yours (i.e. you don't see a future with him and are buying his lame excuses so as to keep him around). So why not just do that? At least then it leaves the door open for you to meet a guy who's older, more mature, and more capabably of offering you something concrete for the long term.

Oh yeah, women can post here apparently, but guys need to be older than 25. Given that you're posting about a guy under 25 you should have put this in the general forum.

Cesare Cardinali

 

[lebRambo]

Originally posted by Hayley79
he was professing how i was the girl he really wanted to be with, hes so sorry for hurting me, he wrote me a song, ect. i forgave.

sounds like a bit of an AFC to me. If i was him, i wouldn't take that. What he should have said is 'Either believe me or not. If you want to stay, i'd be happy for you to stay. If not, there is the door. I have nothing to prove to you and nothing to hide or deny.'

so....you can kinda see why this site is for guys, huh?

 

[chance]

he's not highly interested in you if he's been drunk at a bar and kissing another girl AND getting the number. even if he was drunk, he still knew that you were into him.

if you want sex, keep seeing him and other men. if you want a serious relationship, end this silly business and find a mature man for yourself.

 

[MetalFortress]

Shoulda nexted him the first time he cheated. I don't advise anyone to tolerate cheating from their bf/gf.

 

[Spartan]

Hi Hayley.

If a girl cheats then most of the guys here would drop them and move on, rightfuly so. No questions asked. End of story.

The same rules apply to you.

Drop him and move on.

 

[libre]

As you are about having fun with him and are not planning for a future with him, why don't you just continue with this actual plan and arrangement? Have fun with him as he does with you. Don't expect anything more than that from him as you yourself are not offering more.

 

[josekortez]

Women should be banned from this forum because they only come here to throw salt in our respective games.

Hayley79 will probably appear on Oprah or Dr. Phil next week talking about Don Juans.

 

[tobiashunter]

As was stated above, next him.

Most of my friends are playa's and they play of girls like you. I hate watching them "work". They get one quality girl, tell her everything what she wants to hear, but goes and gets sex elsewhere, regardless if they are getting the best damn sex from that one girl. Yeah, Next him... there are plenty of "good" guys out there who would actually mean it when they say you are the only one for them.

 

[Hayley79]

Re: Re: Are girls allowed to post? problem with dude

Originally posted by lebRambo
sounds like a bit of an AFC to me.

whats an afc?

 

[tobiashunter]

Re: Re: Re: Are girls allowed to post? problem with dude

Originally posted by Hayley79
whats an afc?

Anocrym
AFC

Average Frustrated Chump

Description
One of the most common definitions; This relates to a guy who has very little idea on what he is doing wrong yet thinks he is fine. Most guys are like this (hence the average) and due to their repeated failures with women, they are Frustrated.

 

[Fender]

If we ban chicks from this forum, they'll just pretend to be guys and post anyways....not much help.

But from a girls perspective, it isn't much help asking for stuff on here anyways. Women have no idea what they want. Similarly, men have no idea what they want either.

So for your own health hayley, get the heck outta here. Now.

-peace-

 

[NewMan]

* He's 21.

* don't expect a red blooded male who thinks about sex approx every 60 seconds - has in the region of 6 or 7 hard on's a day (and that's just when he's not thinking about sex) to be faithfull to you - period.

* he probably does like you - and when he tells you he doesn't want to be with anyone else - he probably believes that - but on a friday night after drinks - if a woman throws herself at him, don't expect him to say no.

so i told him to do what he wants. he said he thinks if there relationship is strong enough it will stand on its own. so no rules were set.

He's going to tell you that - because he knows that's what you want to hear.


At 21 he shouldn't be in a relationship - and definitely a long distance one.

My advice would be to tell him that there are no rules when you guys are apart. That you both are free to do what you want.....

because....

1) there's no way he's not going to NOT do it. He's proved that to you already - plus he tried hiding her number.

2) it enables you not to continue to WONDER if he is or isn't with someone else. It matters not any longer.

3) it put the power into your hands. You told him that this is what YOU want - so now, he is going to be the one wondering about YOU (because it's far easier for you to hook up than him).

When your back, have fun with him, don't bring up other women - and always leave him wanting more.

 

[MindOverMatter]

you are in a long distance relationship with a guy who has cheated on you already?

that question answers itself lol.

 

[penkitten]

next!!!

 

[BigFoot]

He only kissed another girl when he was drunk, and he's 21 years old, and this does not appear to be a committed relationship.
That's "cheating"? Doesn't sound that serious to me, but I also wouldn't expect alot in a non-committed long-distance relationship, particularly at your ages.

 

[snintel]

A drunken kiss during separation in LDR. Who cares

You are 25, long distance dating a guy 4 years younger than you who you don't intend on ever marrying. Why?

Oh, and he wrote you a song. :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

 

[So pimp its scary]

Your getting played...