Are cold approach and online dating really the only options?

[drakeisfire]

Nope, they are the two options if you lack a social circle. That being said they have the lowest success rate because they are cold leads so to speak.

A man's social circle is important for his social proof not only for women but also for business.

except how do you start that from scratch after college right?

 

[Trump]

which is why this thread was about after school dummy

Then you are screwed.

 

[Urbanyst]

except how do you start that from scratch after college right?

By getting up off your ass and doing things in the world.

I make new friends all the time, just by going out and doing things.

 

[bigneil]

@Trump You're missing the point. And I don't message 27 year olds. The point is you can be a guy and have many advantages but in the world of OLD, it doesn't really matter. It's all about age (#1 thing women filter for) and how many emails she is pouring through. You cannot control either one of these factors. After a well thought out but short and concise message, I would say maybe 30-40% even read them (Match tells you if they read or not). Then if they do read, you're maybe one of 50+ she skimmed. Then, if you do go out with an OLD woman, you can be sure she's seeing a few guys along with you. Not a problem I know, many here will say then multi-date her too, but the odds of dealing with multi-daters are lower meeting organically. If I were 25 or even 35, fine. But over 40, you have other interests beside becoming a professional dater and being out on dates 5-6 nights/ week. Especially when most don't pan out. HUGE waste of time.I'm a business owner, workout a lot, have a Doberman that needs a ton of exercise, and mostly I have other interests. So I'm saying it's a very low percentage option for most men. I'm successful in that I've dated 12 or so hot women from OLD in the past year but it's taken a lot of time.

Indeed, OLD women make hookers seem frugal with their dating pool.

 

[guru1000]

@Trump You're missing the point. And I don't message 27 year olds. The point is you can be a guy and have many advantages but in the world of OLD, it doesn't really matter. It's all about age (#1 thing women filter for) and how many emails she is pouring through. You cannot control either one of these factors. After a well thought out but short and concise message, I would say maybe 30-40% even read them (Match tells you if they read or not). Then if they do read, you're maybe one of 50+ she skimmed. Then, if you do go out with an OLD woman, you can be sure she's seeing a few guys along with you. Not a problem I know, many here will say then multi-date her too, but the odds of dealing with multi-daters are lower meeting organically. If I were 25 or even 35, fine. But over 40, you have other interests beside becoming a professional dater and being out on dates 5-6 nights/ week. Especially when most don't pan out. HUGE waste of time.I'm a business owner, workout a lot, have a Doberman that needs a ton of exercise, and mostly I have other interests. So I'm saying it's a very low percentage option for most men. I'm successful in that I've dated 12 or so hot women from OLD in the past year but it's taken a lot of time.

OLD is ALL about pics.

1) Take pics with a professional photographer;
2) Feed your pics through photofeeler.com (@bigneil);
3) Keep tweaking your pics until your worst pic is above 80% attractiveness-rated and best pic above 90%;
4) Post 3-5 pics;
5) Profile is irrelevant.

In a typical weekend, I will schedule 10 or so dates, flake on half; and entertain double- and triple-headers with the remaining. And yes I'm in my 40s too.

 

[bigneil]

OLD is ALL about pics.

1) Take pics with a professional photographer;
2) Feed your pics through photofeeler.com (@bigneil);
3) Keep tweaking your pics until your worst pic is above 80% attractive-rated and best pic above 90%;
4) Post 3-5 pics;
5) Profile is irrelevant.

In a typical weekend, I will schedule 10 or so dates, flake on half; and entertain double- and triple-headers with the remaining. And yes I'm in my 40s too.

Sad but true. I told my last model "If my photos make you famous, I will most certainly lose you. I can only hope that after you meet every man on Earth you decide that you like me the best" and she said "I DO like you best!!" We'll see...

 

[SuckItUp]

except how do you start that from scratch after college right?

Plenty of ways.

1) What do you like to do fun? Most everything to do has groups you can join. Even video games have communities for games. If you enjoy hiking look for a hiking Meetup. If you like soccer look for a soccer league/coed soccer league
2) Coed sports leagues- softball/volleyball/soccer etc.
3) Work related societies. Look for societies that relate to work or ones where you want to work.
4) Charity- charitable organizations.
5) Event planning - help with events
6) Job fairs
7) Alumni meetings

There are a myriad of groups to join and get involved with ...


When you are just out of college the #1 things that most guys don't do is create goals and and actionable plan to reach those goals.

Once you do that you can then fill in your time for social and philanthropic activities.

A big mistake guys make is poo pooing developing their social circle or only joining these groups for hot women.

A man's value is derived from people within his sphere of influence, especially those with power/money/influence who feel indebted to him.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

@Trump You're missing the point. And I don't message 27 year olds. The point is you can be a guy and have many advantages but in the world of OLD, it doesn't really matter. It's all about age (#1 thing women filter for) and how many emails she is pouring through. You cannot control either one of these factors. After a well thought out but short and concise message, I would say maybe 30-40% even read them (Match tells you if they read or not). Then if they do read, you're maybe one of 50+ she skimmed. Then, if you do go out with an OLD woman, you can be sure she's seeing a few guys along with you. Not a problem I know, many here will say then multi-date her too, but the odds of dealing with multi-daters are lower meeting organically. If I were 25 or even 35, fine. But over 40, you have other interests beside becoming a professional dater and being out on dates 5-6 nights/ week. Especially when most don't pan out. HUGE waste of time.I'm a business owner, workout a lot, have a Doberman that needs a ton of exercise, and mostly I have other interests. So I'm saying it's a very low percentage option for most men. I'm successful in that I've dated 12 or so hot women from OLD in the past year but it's taken a lot of time.

The older you get, the more OLD is a waste of time.

 

[Urbanyst]

OLD is ALL about pics.

1) Take pics with a professional photographer;
2) Feed your pics through photofeeler.com (@bigneil);
3) Keep tweaking your pics until your worst pic is above 80% attractiveness-rated and best pic above 90%;
4) Post 3-5 pics;
5) Profile is irrelevant.

In a typical weekend, I will schedule 10 or so dates, flake on half; and entertain double- and triple-headers with the remaining. And yes I'm in my 40s too.

Yep.

I know the So Suave community likes to sh*t on OLD but most of the stigma around it is gone these days. OLD is hip and its what most people are doing. Just like texting over calling. There is no reason to stick rigidly with the old-school way of meeting women. There is no advantage gained.

To THRIVE you must adapt. Learn how to use change to your advantage. Most people frustrated with OLD are trying to date out of their league. This goes for both women and men.

 

[guru1000]

The older you get, the more OLD is a waste of time.

This would be an indication that your looks are falling as you age, as your can find both quality and garbage online (just like offline).

Yep.

I know the So Suave community likes to sh*t on OLD but most of the stigma around it is gone these days. OLD is hip and its what most people are doing. Just like texting over calling. There is no reason to stick rigidly with the old-school way of meeting women. There is no advantage gained.

To THRIVE you must adapt. Learn how to use change to your advantage. Most people frustrated with OLD are trying to date out of their league. This goes for both women and men.

I'm not adverse to meeting women the old-fashioned way, but OLD is so damn easy. It's all about time management, as time expended = monies lost. If I could schedule 5-10 dates in less than two hours, show me a more effective method to this numbers game.

Though, most of the 10s I have met were offline.

 

[drakeisfire]

Plenty of ways.

1) What do you like to do fun? Most everything to do has groups you can join. Even video games have communities for games. If you enjoy hiking look for a hiking Meetup. If you like soccer look for a soccer league/coed soccer league
2) Coed sports leagues- softball/volleyball/soccer etc.
3) Work related societies. Look for societies that relate to work or ones where you want to work.
4) Charity- charitable organizations.
5) Event planning - help with events
6) Job fairs
7) Alumni meetings

There are a myriad of groups to join and get involved with ...


When you are just out of college the #1 things that most guys don't do is create goals and and actionable plan to reach those goals.

Once you do that you can then fill in your time for social and philanthropic activities.

A big mistake guys make is poo pooing developing their social circle or only joining these groups for hot women.

A man's value is derived from people within his sphere of influence, especially those with power/money/influence who feel indebted to him.

Went to alumni event for my uni, it was full of old married people.

 

[SuckItUp]

Went to alumni event for my uni, it was full of old married people.

Certain alumni events are better than others. Again the overreaching theme is to improve your networking to improve your life. By improving your life you will attract more women.

 

[MatureDJ]

Went to alumni event for my uni, it was full of old married people.

My sister got divorced a few years ago and started to do stuff with our alma mater (which is a State U that is for a different than hers) and it seems that there are a fair number of divorced mature folks sprinkled in the couples.

 

[drakeisfire]

Certain alumni events are better than others. Again the overreaching theme is to improve your networking to improve your life. By improving your life you will attract more women.

Ya but I tried meetup too, it is like that stuff is full of weird older people.

Like where did all the fun people in their 20s go right?

 

[Roober]

You don't have to cold approach, you can merely just talk to women you encounter throughout your day. If your following advice of this place, you should be out and about enjoying life. Taht way, you are naturally going to cross paths with women... Cold approach just significantly increases your odds primarily because you are just vastly increasing the number of women you encounter...

 

[SuckItUp]

Ya but I tried meetup too, it is like that stuff is full of weird older people.

Like where did all the fun people in their 20s go right?

That one part of the game which mirrors fishing. You need to know the good spots but you don't usually stumble on them but rather someone shows you.

That's why it's important to have strong male connections. Most men can either show you where to go or introduce you to someone of value.

 

[drakeisfire]

That one part of the game which mirrors fishing. You need to know the good spots but you don't usually stumble on them but rather someone shows you.

That's why it's important to have strong male connections. Most men can either show you where to go or introduce you to someone of value.

Ya well I am having a tough time finding those strong male connections right now in the real world.