Approaching women in clubs...
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Mike32ct
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It is difficult to "approach" as in walk up to the girls and open. I still don't really like it.
Any easier way is to stand by the bar or somewhere else in the club and open birds that are standing next to you.
Then, you can just turn your head and "open" right over your shoulder. It's a more laid back approach. For some females it works. For others, they want more bold and direct.
Any easier way is to stand by the bar or somewhere else in the club and open birds that are standing next to you.
Then, you can just turn your head and "open" right over your shoulder. It's a more laid back approach. For some females it works. For others, they want more bold and direct.
yea i feel you man that is the hardest part because after you actually aproach it gets pretty easy because since approaching is the biggest fear, once you conquer that everything else is just minor. im pretty new to this DJ thing but the thing that helped me first start was to go wit a friend. turn the whole shabang into a game of who can talk to the most woman and put a very very enticing reward at the end. and i mean a real reward like a free dinner at a very quality dinner etc so that none of you would want to lose because YOU CANT AFFORD TO LOSE literally lol this would make it easier and do this every day of the week but the reward should be for the total coverations of the week. then when you get good at it go twice a week by yourself. another thing that you can try although i dont really like this is that u go far away and talk to girls and TRY to embarss yourself because you will descover that half of the crap you think is embarasing is only embarrassing to you and the things that are embarrasing does not kill you
hope this helps
hope this helps
you just gotta keep doing it. there's no other way. sike yourself up. the more you approach the more natural it will become or at least less nerve racking. tell yourself she's waiting for you to meet her and if you don't she will be mad that you didn't.JoshLarge said:
TBH I've got some out-of-bounds advice to give here.
I wouldn't approach girls for the sake of approaching girls. That will make it weird because it's too direct.
If there's a fire, and you yell at everyone: "the fire escape is right here!" people will all be glad that you talked to them.
So just tell people things that are directly important for them to know. Once you take practicality, efficiency and importance into mind, it's much easier to have something interesting/important to say. Plus you're not wasting your time talking about nonsense. Problem is though, most people in the club will be Attention Whoring and talking complete nonsense just for the sake of sounding important. Keep that in mind, and just have a mind which thinks in terms of practicality, efficiency and importance.
So ask girls if they're enjoying themselves, what they're drinking, if they go to the club often, that sort of thing. It's often hard to step into the mind-spectrum of a female and think in terms of what she finds important, but it's good to ask questions concerning whatever girl you're talking to specifically.
And if you just feel the urge to approach a girl and give her a compliment, like a warm-up set, you can do that too, just don't go out of your way and approach her from across the bar. Walk past her and give her the compliment over your shoulder, sort of indirectly. Mystery Method style. Just don't expect to have a 1% chance of sleeping with her now that you've already given her what she wanted(affirmation).
I wouldn't approach girls for the sake of approaching girls. That will make it weird because it's too direct.
If there's a fire, and you yell at everyone: "the fire escape is right here!" people will all be glad that you talked to them.
So just tell people things that are directly important for them to know. Once you take practicality, efficiency and importance into mind, it's much easier to have something interesting/important to say. Plus you're not wasting your time talking about nonsense. Problem is though, most people in the club will be Attention Whoring and talking complete nonsense just for the sake of sounding important. Keep that in mind, and just have a mind which thinks in terms of practicality, efficiency and importance.
So ask girls if they're enjoying themselves, what they're drinking, if they go to the club often, that sort of thing. It's often hard to step into the mind-spectrum of a female and think in terms of what she finds important, but it's good to ask questions concerning whatever girl you're talking to specifically.
And if you just feel the urge to approach a girl and give her a compliment, like a warm-up set, you can do that too, just don't go out of your way and approach her from across the bar. Walk past her and give her the compliment over your shoulder, sort of indirectly. Mystery Method style. Just don't expect to have a 1% chance of sleeping with her now that you've already given her what she wanted(affirmation).
sighsigh
Don Juan
Approaching girls is all about minimizing the amount of power they have over you. If you exhibit neediness when approaching girls, you give them power.
When you do a cold approach, it is crystal clear to the girl that you are offering yourself up on a platter for them to accept or reject. It has an element of neediness to it => you are clearly asking them to give you something. That's why cold approaches don't have high success rates.
This is opposed to an approach which isn't completely cold. The more reason you have to talk to a girl other than "I want to get in your pants," the better your chances are. Even if it's "so I see you're drinking the same beer as me." The element of neediness is camouflaged (at least in part) by the other motive.
Also, giving the girl a compliment during your approach again has an element of neediness. You are only complimenting her so that there is a better chance she will accept you. She knows that, and it gives her power. Don't compliment.
When you do a cold approach, it is crystal clear to the girl that you are offering yourself up on a platter for them to accept or reject. It has an element of neediness to it => you are clearly asking them to give you something. That's why cold approaches don't have high success rates.
This is opposed to an approach which isn't completely cold. The more reason you have to talk to a girl other than "I want to get in your pants," the better your chances are. Even if it's "so I see you're drinking the same beer as me." The element of neediness is camouflaged (at least in part) by the other motive.
Also, giving the girl a compliment during your approach again has an element of neediness. You are only complimenting her so that there is a better chance she will accept you. She knows that, and it gives her power. Don't compliment.
I suppose you're right. A compliment isn't going to get him into anyone's pants.sighsigh said:
Though it may help him to get rid of his approach anxiety. It certainly has helped me.
It certainly isn't good to get into the habit of doing it though. It's better to show restraint and especially self-control.
Edit: And btw not every compliment is given on the premise that you expect to be recieved well be the girl you compliment. You can just compliment a girl for the sake of expressing your appreciation. I don't know if there's anything wrong with that.
marmel75
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OK...here is a tip for you. Just go out there with a "I don't give a f**k" mindset and you will have a lot more fun and be a lot better off, trust me.JoshLarge said:
We were out for Mardi Gras yesterday and just being stupid. I was going up to random girls and saying "You're awesome! High Five!" and they would give me a high five, then turn to their friend and say "You're awesome too! High five!" Then when they would go to do it, I would totally miss them and say "Oh my God! I can't believe you fell for that one! That's the oldest trick in the book!" and start cracking up laughing, some chicks were like *****y about it, most laughed, and then I'd be like "So how many other girls do you think would fall for that?" and they would be like "I don't know". So I told them let's find out, and told them to go stand by some random girl and I would do the same thing to them. Had to do it about 10 times and probably had 3 or 4 girls following me around the bar cracking up laughing every time I did it.
Then, we started taking pictures and people kept trying to jump into the pictures with us so we kept doing these ridiculous poses with them and having fun, and whenever we would see other people taking pictures we would jump in behind them without anyone other than the person taking the picture noticing and do stupid stuff, til they realized it when the person taking the picture would tart cracking up laughing. We got into about 15 pictures that way and were talking to a lot of the groups...guys/girls didn't matter, it was funny as hell.
Then I hit a few girls with the "Do you like horses?" opener. And they gave me a weird look and were like "Umm...I guess so...why?" So I told them "Well, when I was in grade school, we had a girl in my class that would be outside on the playground at recess and just gallop around and make horse noises the entire time. We used to laugh at her and call her the crazy horse girl."
They started laughing and were like "Why are you telling me this??" So I told them, "Because you look JUST LIKE HER!!" and started laughing...they cracked up laughing and said "Oh my God! I am not some crazy girl that ran around and made horse noises!!" so I kept it going and told them "Well, look, I don't really know if its you or not, but I just wanted to say if it is that I'm sorry."
And they were like "Sorry for what??" so I told them "For making fun of you like that...I'm more mature now, so I feel bad about how I treated you back then..." They started cracking up some more, and I told them "Here give me a hug, no hard feelings..." and they were like "Aww...." and I gave them a hug and told them to have a good night...
Other notable things last night...I stole a feather boa off this one girl who kept walking past me after the 3rd or 4th time and had her chasing me all over the bar trying to get it back, until I couldn't run anymore because I was laughing so hard... a few girls had masks on in this one group and when they walked by the first time I told them "Nice masks!", then when they walked by again with the masks off I told them "Ohhhh....I think you looked better with those masks on!" and they laughed and said "shut up!" and hit me on the arm...I told a few girls how much I really liked their hair and then asked "Is it real or is that a wig you have on?" They cracked up laughing, and one of them told me "No, its real! Do you want to pull it??" so I told her "I bet you would love it if I pulled your hair wouldn't you!" with a smile and a smirk, and she gave me a "I can't believe you just said that" look and laughed...
Then I noticed half these girls I kept doing this stuff to were within about 15 feet from our group looking over a lot and smiling at us...
Just go out, be stupid, don't give a f**k about what happens and things will go a lot better for you. I'm married, so when I go out I just do stuff to have fun and don't care about the results...
Also had one girl get really *****y at me because my cousin was trying to talk to a girl that ended up being her sister, and she was like "Uhhh...NOOO! I don't think so, I mean come on guys, really??" in a total *****y way. So I was like "Come on what?" because I wasn't even really paying muh attention at the time and was talking to some other people in the group. And she says "My sister is not interested in any of you guys over here, so stop trying to pick her up!" So I told her "First of all, I am married, wasn't even talking to her or paying attention to her or you for that matter, and am not trying to pick anyone up. Second, if I was trying to pick someone up, it wouldn't have been either one of you. I only try to pick up pretty girls." Then I shut up and watched as her face did all sorts of contortions and her jaw dropped and she walked away in a huff. I glanced over and saw her sister smirking and kind of giggling about the whole thing.
Classic!! Overall I think this was the most fun I have had in a long time going out. If I was not married I would have been going home with someone last night...
nice_guyeh
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practice by talking to randoms whereever you are-outside the club. what do you have to lose? she walks away..? lmao, ust talk to em, nbd. by confident in yourself champ
LostAndConfused
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Dude, its all about picking up on IOI's in the club. I think at the point of clubbing age girls understand on some small scale that the approach is quite often a two way deal. When I think back to the last fvck closes I've had at bars/clubs, they were mainly from girls who I'd coyly catch looking at me and looking away. Also Mystery has a good bit about the proximity IOI...
When you start picking up on legit proximity IOIs, you'll have a whole new world opened up to you in the club. I feel like many times we hit on the wrong girls, when there are hotties who intentionally dance near you to get your attention. They're rarely gonna approach you though, have you ever tossed the line "I'm taken" at a chick who approached you? Let's just say it's a significantly bigger blow to a females ego than it is for a man, especially if the girl is attractive.
The whole sizing up idea is important in a sexually charged environment like a bar or a club. Women make snap decisions with their friends on which guys intrigue them, and know this, unless the ratio is completely fvcked, there WILL be at least a cute girl intrigued by your presence.
And that's all you need. The way I see it in a club environment, if a girl wants to know more about you and you approach them, it's smooth sailing.
Really, it's "Innocent until proven Beta" with these girls. Just a small dollop of game with some confident charm will have the girl texting you afterwards trying to meet up with you after you've already left the venue.
Also I realized a new way to handle rejection at a club. Because conversations run significantly faster in a club (kiss closes happen usually within 10 minutes), don't be surprised if you get completely shut out by some girls before even given a chance. These girls always have some ****ty canned line that we all know they spent a whole girl's night out perfecting. Unfortunately for them, most of these canned rejections are not unique at all. Come up with a canned response. There is no better feeling than one-upsmanship toward a girl who rejected you, assuming you didn't lose face like a complete retard.
As a final note, make sure you're going to the right clubs. There's a right way and a wrong way to game at clubs, and real estate is the most important part. The way I see it, there are two types of venues, and all bars, clubs, lounges fall into one of these two types. On one hand you have the rather status-hungry "VIP" style club, and on the other, you have a relatively level playing field type deal.
In my opinion, your success in a particular venue pretty much boils down to which one of the two clubs you attended. Does the bar have a rather pretentious website? Check the photo albums. If 99% of the pictures are just hot clubbing women and celebrity/talent/DJ, you are definitely dealing with the former. And know that the ratio won't be as good as the pictures. I tend to stay away from clubs that try to increase attendance with celebrities. I don't give a fvck of Pauly D will make an appearance, nor do I care if any athlete, playboy bunny, or "girls gone wild" **** is going on at at the club. THESE ARE THE VENUES WHERE YOU WILL STRUGGLE. They attract a small group of hypergamous hotties and inspire a frenzy in all of the other girls to the point where they think every "normal" guy is out of their league.
Speaking of this, why the **** do guys still go to these clubs? I really don't understand why any self-respecting man would be sold on a club that's advertising a overvalued male celebrity. How do these club nights even exist? Men SHOULDN'T want to go to these. And women shouldn't, in turn, as there are no guys around.
When I go to a good club, even if I don't get laid I have a great time. When I walk out of one of these ****ty clubs, I'm usually belligerently drunk and ready to jump into a fight at a whim. They're a waste of money and time, and these clubs typically are more expensive anyways!!
When I go home from a club without ANY luck AT ALL, it's usually because I went to a status type club. Unfortunately, some cities (I'm looking at you, Atlanta), have only status clubs. If clubbing is your thing, move to another city. I did, and I'm reaping the benefits. I'm not saying these clubs are inherently bad, but you won't stand much of a chance walking into the club with equal, low status with all of the other guys. Does the tone of the club seem ADVERSARIAL toward men? If so, get the fvck out. There's no reason you should enter the club already a villain.
When you start picking up on legit proximity IOIs, you'll have a whole new world opened up to you in the club. I feel like many times we hit on the wrong girls, when there are hotties who intentionally dance near you to get your attention. They're rarely gonna approach you though, have you ever tossed the line "I'm taken" at a chick who approached you? Let's just say it's a significantly bigger blow to a females ego than it is for a man, especially if the girl is attractive.
The whole sizing up idea is important in a sexually charged environment like a bar or a club. Women make snap decisions with their friends on which guys intrigue them, and know this, unless the ratio is completely fvcked, there WILL be at least a cute girl intrigued by your presence.
And that's all you need. The way I see it in a club environment, if a girl wants to know more about you and you approach them, it's smooth sailing.
Really, it's "Innocent until proven Beta" with these girls. Just a small dollop of game with some confident charm will have the girl texting you afterwards trying to meet up with you after you've already left the venue.
Also I realized a new way to handle rejection at a club. Because conversations run significantly faster in a club (kiss closes happen usually within 10 minutes), don't be surprised if you get completely shut out by some girls before even given a chance. These girls always have some ****ty canned line that we all know they spent a whole girl's night out perfecting. Unfortunately for them, most of these canned rejections are not unique at all. Come up with a canned response. There is no better feeling than one-upsmanship toward a girl who rejected you, assuming you didn't lose face like a complete retard.
As a final note, make sure you're going to the right clubs. There's a right way and a wrong way to game at clubs, and real estate is the most important part. The way I see it, there are two types of venues, and all bars, clubs, lounges fall into one of these two types. On one hand you have the rather status-hungry "VIP" style club, and on the other, you have a relatively level playing field type deal.
In my opinion, your success in a particular venue pretty much boils down to which one of the two clubs you attended. Does the bar have a rather pretentious website? Check the photo albums. If 99% of the pictures are just hot clubbing women and celebrity/talent/DJ, you are definitely dealing with the former. And know that the ratio won't be as good as the pictures. I tend to stay away from clubs that try to increase attendance with celebrities. I don't give a fvck of Pauly D will make an appearance, nor do I care if any athlete, playboy bunny, or "girls gone wild" **** is going on at at the club. THESE ARE THE VENUES WHERE YOU WILL STRUGGLE. They attract a small group of hypergamous hotties and inspire a frenzy in all of the other girls to the point where they think every "normal" guy is out of their league.
Speaking of this, why the **** do guys still go to these clubs? I really don't understand why any self-respecting man would be sold on a club that's advertising a overvalued male celebrity. How do these club nights even exist? Men SHOULDN'T want to go to these. And women shouldn't, in turn, as there are no guys around.
When I go to a good club, even if I don't get laid I have a great time. When I walk out of one of these ****ty clubs, I'm usually belligerently drunk and ready to jump into a fight at a whim. They're a waste of money and time, and these clubs typically are more expensive anyways!!
When I go home from a club without ANY luck AT ALL, it's usually because I went to a status type club. Unfortunately, some cities (I'm looking at you, Atlanta), have only status clubs. If clubbing is your thing, move to another city. I did, and I'm reaping the benefits. I'm not saying these clubs are inherently bad, but you won't stand much of a chance walking into the club with equal, low status with all of the other guys. Does the tone of the club seem ADVERSARIAL toward men? If so, get the fvck out. There's no reason you should enter the club already a villain.
Well I'm here to tell you there is such a magic wand. Something that will make you almost completely irresistible to any woman you "point it" at. Something guaranteed to fill your life with love, romance, and excitement.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
nismo-4
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The club scene in Atlanta sucks ass unless you've got muscles or seen getting out of a Lambo. There are exceptions to this, but the women there often times think the average joe is out of their league. It's the ugly ones who think so too!LostAndConfused said:
I've seen guys go in clubs with their sisters, cousins, aunts, and mothers! It does attract more women, and these guys doing it apparently have a brain.
You need some sort of good looks, money, and status to do well here. It's an uphill battle otherwise.
I'm not surprised that so many clubs in Atlanta become reserved for the upper class to reap the benefits, and the other guys gotta fight for what's left, if anything.
Mike32ct
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LostandConfused is absolutely correct about avoiding the celebrity nonsense at clubs. Celebrity appearances are NOT gonna help the average guy score, quite the opposite actually. I also don't care about a guest DJ from some other city either.
Another way to tell a "status club" would be if it is mostly tables and VIP areas with minimal public areas. This creates major isolation and makes most girls unreachable.
All this VIP flash, to the extent it attracts women at ALL, brings in status-junkie AWs, not the girl next door types the typical guy actually has a chance at pulling.
But definitely looking for eye contact or proximity is good plan.
Another way to tell a "status club" would be if it is mostly tables and VIP areas with minimal public areas. This creates major isolation and makes most girls unreachable.
All this VIP flash, to the extent it attracts women at ALL, brings in status-junkie AWs, not the girl next door types the typical guy actually has a chance at pulling.
But definitely looking for eye contact or proximity is good plan.
Exactly the same for me.LostAndConfused said:
And in a few of those times, it happened within about 30 minutes of being in the club (one quite literally when I first walked up to the bar to get a drink), and I walked out with the girl soon after that.
You can take the mindset of either:
a) going out and trying to chat up every chick you think is hot, and have a high rejection rate (especially once other girls see you getting rejected every time).
b) going out, paying attention to your surroundings and which chicks are looking at you. Sure, you can do indirect openers with chicks as they pass (location selection in the club is important), but in my experience the ones you actually end up banging with next to no effort are the ones that look at you.
PrettyBoyAJ
Master Don Juan
You only live once. Approach these woman with confidence and your sky is the limited. I recently learned this. No matter who the broad is don't get discouraged. Go up to her confidently and put your bid in. If she says no you haven't lost anything.
When I enter the club I make sure to sprinkle game on a lot of girls. Just small talk with a lot of girls. During the night I will step up to the finer girls and put my bid in. I try to dance with them and then talk to them. If the talking is going good I'd take her to the back of the club or in an isolated area where I can really chop it up. Just rinse wash and repeat through the night.
You can apply this to gaming any woman you want. When you get your game up you only go after the finer girls though.
Here’s some tips from me for the club.
1. Don't get too drunk. Drink a little to get tipsy but don't get drunk to the point that it'll just screw your game.
2. Don't be approaching these ugly broads. Chicks will look and judge you off that. Approach only the good looking girls and these other girls will judge you goodly. She will then wish she was approached.
3. Don't get mad if you get rejected. It is better then her leading you on.
4. If one of her friends try to ****bl0ck you then. Call the **** blocking friend to the side and check her in a friendly way where she gets the message.
When I enter the club I make sure to sprinkle game on a lot of girls. Just small talk with a lot of girls. During the night I will step up to the finer girls and put my bid in. I try to dance with them and then talk to them. If the talking is going good I'd take her to the back of the club or in an isolated area where I can really chop it up. Just rinse wash and repeat through the night.
You can apply this to gaming any woman you want. When you get your game up you only go after the finer girls though.
Here’s some tips from me for the club.
1. Don't get too drunk. Drink a little to get tipsy but don't get drunk to the point that it'll just screw your game.
2. Don't be approaching these ugly broads. Chicks will look and judge you off that. Approach only the good looking girls and these other girls will judge you goodly. She will then wish she was approached.
3. Don't get mad if you get rejected. It is better then her leading you on.
4. If one of her friends try to ****bl0ck you then. Call the **** blocking friend to the side and check her in a friendly way where she gets the message.
eye contact is one of the easiest ways to open on the dance floor. i'll dance next to the girl i'm interested and when i make ec i'll take that as an approach invitation. i don't try to grind right away, like most guys. some girls don't like to be touched initially, they need to warm up to you. this sight has some good dance game advice and the book is great too: flirt2thebeat dot com
to warm-up i'll dance with girls i'm not interested in and then when i'm vibing i'll go for the one's i like.
to warm-up i'll dance with girls i'm not interested in and then when i'm vibing i'll go for the one's i like.
Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.