Approaching Direct

thevilittletroll

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I’ve read a lot of posts on this site regarding Direct Approach and I feel that I need to let you guys know about a few things before go with this type of game.

Let me say that first of all approaching direct does have its advantages, but it also has some disadvantages too. The first advantage by approaching direct is you are not wasting anytime. The girl has to make an instant yes-no judgment about you on whether or not she’s interested. So in a sense you’re not wasting any time figuring it out on your own. The other advantage is that if she is into you, the phone #’s and dates you get should become more solid with less girls flaking on you. When you are on your dates with these girls it does have a more “it’s on” feeling, closing should become pretty easy.

For the disadvantages one of the biggest is that you really turn it into a true numbers game. It may take you 50-100 approaches before you start getting solid results. Your % of success is going to be very low at first. Some girls are going to be really creeped out with you, and you will get a lot of rejection. And if you are just starting out, that can really hurt you confidence levels. Direct approach is also going to be based more about your looks and not your actual game. And looks can be overcome if you do have good game, so why shoot yourself in the foot if you’re not the best looking guy. She rejected you before she had a chance to see your personality. The number 1 biggest disadvantage is that if your confidence, body language, and your post approach game are not congruent, approaching direct will fail almost 90% of the time. So work on getting those 3 things of you game fixed before you even attempt at approaching direct.

Approaching direct also has it time and place. Bars and clubs are not really the best place to cold approach using direct game. Most women’s defenses are already very high in these environments. Unless you have those 3 things I mention earlier, confidence, body language, and post approach game, you success rate will be very low. Day game and on the street is better suited for this type of approach. Most women do not expect to be hit on in public, and it is very flattering to them, but be warned, some women will be completely creeped out by this.

I recommend for anybody who’s starting out in this game to start with a more indirect approach, then state your intentions and be direct after talking for a few minutes. Once you get you game together, your confidence, and your body language, being direct will be a lot more successful for you. At the end of the day being direct up front is like throwing a bunch of s.hit up on a wall and picking out what sticks. In my opinion that’s not really good game. Having good game is about being able to approach who you are attracted to, picking out what type of game to use, and executing it to ultimately get the girl. Direct approach game is much better suited for more experienced DJ’s who know how to close. Don’t just walk up to a hot girl and tell her how beautiful she is and that you had to meet her, she’s already heard that 100 times before. It’s what you say after that will get her attracted to you.
 

Casslehoff

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Of course its a numbers game. Thats why its a waste of time! Running around like werewolf in paris bothering every single pretty girl you see. Its a waste of time ESPECIALLY when there are places specifically tailored to MEET women...
night clubs/lounges/ bars etc...

I get a kick outta these guys that just go around disrupting people. They have to wear these top hots and paint their nails black to " stand out" yeah you stand out alright as being strange!
 

evansblue

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The reason I like cold approaching is because I'm in and out in 1 or 2 minutes. It's naturally a very quick interaction. The hard thing about the bar scene is once you engage somebody, you're kind of stuck there for 15 or 20 minutes and the conversation flattens out.
 

Casslehoff

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evansblue said:
The reason I like cold approaching is because I'm in and out in 1 or 2 minutes. It's naturally a very quick interaction. The hard thing about the bar scene is once you engage somebody, you're kind of stuck there for 15 or 20 minutes and the conversation flattens out.
So dont stay there for 15-20 mins..
:confused:
 

evansblue

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In other words - I don't want to waste time walking into a bar, ordering a drink, etc. just to approach a women. I don't need liquid courage to lower my inhibitions, hence the "15 or 20 minutes" time frame.
 

Stagger Lee

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You make some good points and I agree with it mostly. But first, we should define direct approach and indirect approach.

Direct: I define a direct approach as stating your interest at the start (ie Hey you're cute..) and/or closing right away (Hey, I thought you seemed xyz, what's your number).

Indirect: I define an indirect approach as not stating your interest, not complimenting her nor closing/stating your intent right away.

I prefer indirect for several reasons. First I don't want to show interest in her and compliment and validate her. I want to create the impression that I'm taking a little time to qualify her by talking to her for a bit before I would number close or pitch an instadate. This is to appear not too interested so as not to validate her, make her think she has to show some personality to qualify. Plus, it gives you a chance to display your personality and probably just as important to give her time to weigh your personality (since women want to measure your personality before being interested). Also, indirect gives you a chance to see if she is giving you any signs of interest and when your ability to read girls improves you'll be able to tell when a girl is interested and when she is not without being direct and forcing her hand. So you'll know when to close and when not based on her response to your indirectly conversing with her.

You should of course always pitch a close if it seems to be going well even if you are being indirect.

If guys just get out there and approach either direct or indirect especially in day game, they are doing more than the average guy. I'll admit right here and now that I saw an opportunity to approach a woman based on my read of her at Walmart a couple hours ago and didn't do it. And I've done literally a couple thousand approaches mostly in bars. Partly I lack the motivation and partly I haven't been doing day time approaches in a long while especially not on the fly when I wasn't there to do approaches.
 
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