Apathy towards girls

[jafyk]

Guys just read the book I recommended above there's so much you'd be shocked to know I promise. Read and then get back at me or get back at this thread. In reference to the last thing Matt Rogers wrote above. When it comes to date women rely on men to provide the experience so if the expereince wasn't what she wanted it becomes a bad date = to the man's fault. I'm not saying this is right but this is how it is.

 

[FM 3321]

Personally I'm still fascinated with beautiful women. To be honest I haven't yet been with one of those girls I see on the street that makes me go "wow" so when I date a few of those maybe I'll get to the point where beautiful women don't phase me. When it comes to sex with girls I truly find it a lot of fun playing with their bodies and help them make lots of noise and all that other jazz.

Maybe this isn't what you guys are talking about but I've gone from loving women, to hating women, getting into this stuff, hating them even more and as time goes on I've started to love them again because I seem to know what to do if something doesn't work out.

 

[mrRuckus]

They spend their whole lives perfecting this physical allure which really only conceals a rather bland package.

They don't do even do that right. They just get fat and frumpy and cake on the make up and loose clothes (or worse: tight clothes) to cover it up.

 

[phillyb]

Personally I'm still fascinated with beautiful women. To be honest I haven't yet been with one of those girls I see on the street that makes me go "wow" so when I date a few of those maybe I'll get to the point where beautiful women don't phase me. When it comes to sex with girls I truly find it a lot of fun playing with their bodies and help them make lots of noise and all that other jazz.

Maybe this isn't what you guys are talking about but I've gone from loving women, to hating women, getting into this stuff, hating them even more and as time goes on I've started to love them again because I seem to know what to do if something doesn't work out.

No doubt that f-cking women, especially those with nice bodies, and reckless abandon in the sack, is always fun. But what we are examining here is beyond that...and concerns deeper connections....

I'm going to get the above mentioned book......Great reviews on Amazon......

"If he's emotionally available for a woman, he's clingy, and if he isn't, he's a soulless unfeeling creep" <<< this one really hits home, and was a cause of a recent breakup.

 

[Tazman]

I think my core desire is sex, that's the only thing that really sparks my interest. It's always nice when you can have a good discussion with a girl, but it's pretty rare to have that happen, for me at least.

The only time's I've really enjoyed a discussion with a girl was when I found them to be pretty intelligent. The one's who are really smart tend to make good conversational topics that allow for different perspectives and philosophies. lol, sad part is they usually aren't very feminine and attractive. However, I have seen a few good looking ones.

Although I always come across the annoying ones. I remember this one chick telling me about how it was cheaper for her to eat out at restaurants than to buy and cook her own food. I of course explained to her how ridiculous that was and she continued to argue the point, so I had to just tune her out, I couldn't believe the total lack of common sense and how persistently she argued. She wasn't concerned about proving a point, just being "right".

 

[Matt Rogers]

jafyk yeah i have had quite a few dates lately where the conversation was stilted and both of us were clearly bored. Quite probably the girl went home thinking I was boring. Really though good conversation is about give and take and most girls have little to offer to a conversation.

Intelligent girls can be more interesting to talk to but Ive found even smart girls do not have the intellectual curiosity that men possess and do not have the capacity for abstract thought. The best conversations ive had with girls has centred around feelings, emotions and experiences...with girls you could describe as "deep". But in those conversations you cannot avoid realising the emptiness and sadness most emotionally aware women feel.

I think the best chances men and women have of connecting is shared experiences and im not just talking about sex. Stuff like going on a hike, going to the beach, even doing chores or cooking together.

 

[FM 3321]

No doubt that f-cking women, especially those with nice bodies, and reckless abandon in the sack, is always fun. But what we are examining here is beyond that...and concerns deeper connections....

I'm going to get the above mentioned book......Great reviews on Amazon......

"If he's emotionally available for a woman, he's clingy, and if he isn't, he's a soulless unfeeling creep" <<< this one really hits home, and was a cause of a recent breakup.

It seems like most of you posting in this thread are at a level that is way above me when it comes to dealing with women. Like I said before I haven't had one of those "wow" or dreamgirls in my bed yet so I feel like I'm out in the world searching for that and then I'll come to this point where I need a deep connection.

Currently I feel too busy for girls right now since I'm working on myself by going to the gym to get my body to the look I desire, doing some overseas traveling (been planning all year to visit a dangerous country and will be in Jamaica next week by myself visiting all the non tourist parts) and looking for ways to increase my income as well as looking about furthering my education. I know working on those things (especially the gym and travel) will help me out a lot so I want to see what happens when I've reached those goals.

I also have a big crush on this girl that is gorgeous "wow" in my eyes and makes me laugh if we ever hang out so that little part is still with me. At the gym I see hot girls and part of me still wonders what it would be like to be with them. This is probably the type of thinking people will call AFC but I would like to know what most of the people who posted in this thread have gone through to get to become apathetic. Did you date a stream of super sexy girls and found out they're bland? Have you become the man you want to be and found that it's not fulfilling?

With all that said I know I need more experience with women of the type I really like to feel like I've made progress in this area. This post seems like a lot of rambling but I wonder if anyone can "feel" me on this. This is probably the stage before you start to really understand what's going on with this game.

Also I'll order that book. Currently reading "Living with our genes" and my "Jamaican guide book." Interestingly enough I just finished a romance novel a few weeks ago and I felt like I got some insight I can't really explain right now.


Edit: Bottom line, maybe I haven't had enough good pizza yet.

 

[phillyb]

FM,

No, it sounds like you are doing the right things. I too am currently single and not concentrating efforts on women. I am going to the gym like a madman, and really feeling good about myself, and goals. I want to travel as well, but first, I have some debt to take care of.

I didn't mean to sound like I was picking on you....and yes i feel ya.....I have had my share of hot chicks....( im not going to rate them for the purposes of this thread)....however, I'm by no means a DJ...at least I dont think I am......Im just in a position right now, after being in a short relationship, that I feel I need a break, and need to improve me.

This thread really made me think though about all or most of my past relationships, and how, looking back, I feel that most of the women i have been with really offered nothing, except a nice piece of tail.....And I have reached a point in life where I want something more than that.....however, im not gonna stop being a man and chasing poon from time to time..........

 

[Mr. Me]

have been overusing match.com as a way of meeting girls.

I also use an online dating site since it's simply another channel to meet someone who you probably wouldn't have otherwise crossed paths with.

The majority of women on these sites are not attractive physically. But that's not even the biggest problem. I understand that I'm simply mining for the best nuggets.

The problem is that, when I do find someone who appears attractive, that 999 times out of 1000 their essay is SO boring and generic ("I like to go out but I like to stay in too blah blah I want to do all that life has to offer blah blah") that they don't come across as having anything to bring to the table.

Toss in their misspellings (what are they? Unedjumicated?) and tendencies to mention that their fav activity is "shopping" (oh boy, what a turn on! I can already picture you, me and you asking me to hold your bag while you spend an hour trying on clothes at Macy's!) and their proclivity to dispense new agey life advice ("It's not how many moments you breathe but how many moments take your breath away blah blah blah I see the glass as half full blah blah blah life is short blah blah blah I don't sweat the small stuff blah blah blah") as if I need their advice, and/or they come across as bitter, b1tchy, or Feminista, or act as if they should be entitled just 'cuz, or come across as a potential headache, or ditzy, or as golddiggers.

Who does a guy have to phuck to meet a decent woman in this town???

 

[FM 3321]

FM,

No, it sounds like you are doing the right things. I too am currently single and not concentrating efforts on women. I am going to the gym like a madman, and really feeling good about myself, and goals. I want to travel as well, but first, I have some debt to take care of.

I didn't mean to sound like I was picking on you....and yes i feel ya.....I have had my share of hot chicks....( im not going to rate them for the purposes of this thread)....however, I'm by no means a DJ...at least I dont think I am......Im just in a position right now, after being in a short relationship, that I feel I need a break, and need to improve me.

This thread really made me think though about all or most of my past relationships, and how, looking back, I feel that most of the women i have been with really offered nothing, except a nice piece of tail.....And I have reached a point in life where I want something more than that.....however, im not gonna stop being a man and chasing poon from time to time..........

No you weren't picking on me at all.

Looking at the women I've dated in the past I feel like I've learned something from each of them. They were all interested in different things from me and it seemed cool to learn things from them. In my eyes they did seem to offer up a lot and they made efforts to be fun. They were obviously cute but not *wow* like this one girl I saw at the gym yesterday evening.

I don't wish to go back to my total AFC days where I thought these girls were goddesses (I still do from time to time) but what I like better about today is that I'm able to see these girls as human instead of pieces of meat like back in the day. I remember having big realization when this girl I have a crush on at the moment looked at me and said "how do you like me without makeup?" in a whiny voice and when I looked at her my mind thought "wow, she is human!"

When I get more of these *wow* girls under my belt I'll come back to this thread and see if I can really sympathize with you guys. I feel like I'm at a plateau and after I get a few things handled I'll be dating more and seeing women for who they really are.

 

[freshstartin2008]

Yeah, it sounds like the OP is overly sensitive to the so-called "flaws" that "girls" suffer from. If you absolutely insist on finding them, you will. What kind of woman are you looking for anyway? A girl with zero emotional life, who can carry out all tasks robotically without complaint or feeling?

Law 18: Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself— Isolation is Dangerous
The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere— everyone has to protect themselves. A fortress seems the safest. But isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from - it cuts you off from valuable information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target. Better to circulate among people, find allies, mingle. You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd.

This is the Law of the Buffer. Virtually all Buffers involve some form of isolation or insulation. The perception is that they are a convenience or a else a personal preference, but the truth is they are universally a self-convinced, prepared emotional defense.

The concept, the pursuit, of an idealized "quality" woman is a Buffer as well. Beware you don't isolate yourself in your quest for a myth. Be careful you don't condition yourself in your isolation to see any woman who reacts to you even remotely in accordance with your 'ideal' as "quality" and one who'd rebuff it as "low quality."

 

[Colossus]

I also use an online dating site since it's simply another channel to meet someone who you probably wouldn't have otherwise crossed paths with.

The majority of women on these sites are not attractive physically. But that's not even the biggest problem. I understand that I'm simply mining for the best nuggets.

The problem is that, when I do find someone who appears attractive, that 999 times out of 1000 their essay is SO boring and generic ("I like to go out but I like to stay in too blah blah I want to do all that life has to offer blah blah") that they don't come across as having anything to bring to the table.

Toss in their misspellings (what are they? Unedjumicated?) and tendencies to mention that their fav activity is "shopping" (oh boy, what a turn on! I can already picture you, me and you asking me to hold your bag while you spend an hour trying on clothes at Macy's!) and their proclivity to dispense new agey life advice ("It's not how many moments you breathe but how many moments take your breath away blah blah blah I see the glass as half full blah blah blah life is short blah blah blah I don't sweat the small stuff blah blah blah") as if I need their advice, and/or they come across as bitter, b1tchy, or Feminista, or act as if they should be entitled just 'cuz, or come across as a potential headache, or ditzy, or as golddiggers.

Who does a guy have to phuck to meet a decent woman in this town???

:crackup:

I use OkCupid (the best of the free sites---dont pay for it), and I noticed this within a week or so of browsing profiles. This site actually has a decent number of good-looking women, but I swear to Moses all their fvcking essays are carbon-copies of each other. 90-95% of the attractive and even marginally attractive profiles go something like this:

"I am a fun, outgoing, totally spontaneous girl who love to meet new people and try new things. I absolutely LOVE my friends and family and would be lost without these wonderful people in my life. I think that life is (insert cheeseball motivational bathroom reading quote here), and that we should live every moment to it's fullest. On Friday nights I am usually out with my CRAZY friends (love my girls!!!!) or snuggling up on the couch with a good movie. I love to go shopping, hang out with my friends, and the Red Sox!! I have two cats, LOVE children, and work as a teacher/administrator/manager blah blah blah I manage some bullsh!t and I'm really important blah blah. I am looking for friends first, then we'll see what develops! Please do not email me if you are a liar or a cheater, or are only looking for sex!!! Because you wont get it from me, and if you do you just contractually agreed to a relationship whether we discussed it or not!! Ciao!!"

I don't know if they are just bad writers or if they really are this fvcking boring. The only thing that is being revealed here is that their only bargaining chip is sex and that after a few weeks she'll just be another girl Ive banged. I know it sounds calloused, but really--after the novelty of new pvssy wears off there has to be some personal resonance there or it will just be a complete drag.

I wonder if men's profiles are all this lame.

 

[ketostix]

:crackup:

90-95% of the attractive and even marginally attractive profiles go something like this:

"I am a fun, outgoing, totally spontaneous girl who love to meet new people and try new things. I absolutely LOVE my friends and family and would be lost without these wonderful people in my life. I think that life is (insert cheeseball motivational bathroom reading quote here), and that we should live every moment to it's fullest. On Friday nights I am usually out with my CRAZY friends (love my girls!!!!) or snuggling up on the couch with a good movie. I love to go shopping, hang out with my friends, and the Red Sox!! I have two cats, LOVE children, and work as a teacher/administrator/manager blah blah blah I manage some bullsh!t and I'm really important blah blah. I am looking for friends first, then we'll see what develops! Please do not email me if you are a liar or a cheater, or are only looking for sex!!! Because you wont get it from me, and if you do you just contractually agreed to a relationship whether we discussed it or not!! Ciao!!"

:crackup: Yep .

 

[jafyk]

No doubt that f-cking women, especially those with nice bodies, and reckless abandon in the sack, is always fun. But what we are examining here is beyond that...and concerns deeper connections....

I'm going to get the above mentioned book......Great reviews on Amazon......

"If he's emotionally available for a woman, he's clingy, and if he isn't, he's a soulless unfeeling creep" <<< this one really hits home, and was a cause of a recent breakup.

Philly, are you saying you've checked out the book "What Men Still don't know : about women, love and relationships"? I personally thought it was a great read. I must warn you though, which knowledge comes the burden to act on what you now know.

 

[Hooligan Harry]

Its a cultural problem as much as anything. How do you have a conversation with someone who has zero interest in life? How many women have you met that actually had a hobby of some sort? Im talking anything other then sex, meeting their friends for lunch/dinner or shopping? Modern woman, just the like the AFC, has this idea of what they should be doing with their lives based on what they see on TV and read in magazines. You basically have women idolizing Oprah and wishing for the excitement in their own personal lives that their favourite soapie brings.

The majority are not active, those that are do it in a gym. Few play any sports or are involved with any groups of any sort. Those that do are not normally that attractive. Few have a hobby of any sort. For all the TV that they watch, little watch anything outside trash TV and reality shows. When they read, its either a celebrity magazine or a work of fiction. A large percentage that do have an interest in anything like scuba diving or sky jumping are often doing it to meet certain types of men.

There is limited interest in history, politics, sports, arts, current affairs,economics. What do you talk to them about? Its always fluff. Happy go lucky fluff because a conversation about what I just mentioned would be considered boring. Or offensive in many cases.

The better looking the woman the more attention she gets. The more attention she gets the less she needs to improve herself. Its why the really good looking women are often the most boring. I have kinda resigned myself to the fact that when it comes to the majority of women, dating them is no different to entertaining a child.

 

[jophil28]

Who does a guy have to phuck to meet a decent woman in this town???

It is not just your town Mr Me, this dilemma is universal.
Frankly, I date younger women currently - sure, they are inexperienced and a tad ditsy but they are bubbly and fun to balance out their primitive thinking.
Wait a minute ,come to think of it, even the 50 year olds I know still have primitive thinking.
Gentlemen, I think we are screwed.

Thanks to Gawd for inventing fishing

 

[Jitterbug]

Well, that's why I try not to talk to women too much and take them seriously as it's like I'm sabotaging my attraction for them.

I browsed a few Internet dating sites at one stage (didn't have a profile up) and came to the same conclusion as Collosus. That's one reason why I don't do Internet dating as reading their profiles just turns me off.

Seems that their only bargaining chip these days is sex. At least in the past, they used to be able to cook something decent.

 

[freshstartin2008]

I think you are making some MASSIVE generalizations. I meet plenty of women who are intelligent: in college, or out of college. We can talk about spirituality, food, health, there's a lot of sh1t you can have in common. It may very well mean YOU are not sophisticated or cultivated enough for them! Shudder at the thought!

Where are you meeting your women anyway? At the jersey turnpike? Go to a local college or university, or bookstore, or gym with a yoga or rockclimbing class. You are just making excuses!

Its a cultural problem as much as anything. How do you have a conversation with someone who has zero interest in life? How many women have you met that actually had a hobby of some sort? Im talking anything other then sex, meeting their friends for lunch/dinner or shopping? Modern woman, just the like the AFC, has this idea of what they should be doing with their lives based on what they see on TV and read in magazines. You basically have women idolizing Oprah and wishing for the excitement in their own personal lives that their favourite soapie brings.

The majority are not active, those that are do it in a gym. Few play any sports or are involved with any groups of any sort. Those that do are not normally that attractive. Few have a hobby of any sort. For all the TV that they watch, little watch anything outside trash TV and reality shows. When they read, its either a celebrity magazine or a work of fiction. A large percentage that do have an interest in anything like scuba diving or sky jumping are often doing it to meet certain types of men.

There is limited interest in history, politics, sports, arts, current affairs,economics. What do you talk to them about? Its always fluff. Happy go lucky fluff because a conversation about what I just mentioned would be considered boring. Or offensive in many cases.

The better looking the woman the more attention she gets. The more attention she gets the less she needs to improve herself. Its why the really good looking women are often the most boring. I have kinda resigned myself to the fact that when it comes to the majority of women, dating them is no different to entertaining a child.

 

[sodbuster]

Well,here's the problem. The more you improve yourself above the level of the average, the harder it is to find intelligent conversation. If you are a table washer at the mall,it's all good;everyone is capable of an intelligent conversation. If you have an IQ in the 140's and a doctor in front of your name,are well read trying to improve even further;pickings get a little slim.
As far as nailing 10's,not any different than an 8 once the lights go out. Your friends are jealous,conversations are more boring[usually].[that is the good stuff,doesn't get any better]. Universally [among my friends]agreed upon that the sex wasn't as good as the chase. Some of the best I've had have been 8's[like Avis,they are #2,they try harder]

 

[sodbuster]

Forgot to add,you'll probably have to reach this truth on your own,You won't be able to believe it wasn't as good as the work you put in or the attitude she put out otherwise