Anyone else feel that certain advice given by PUAs is incongruent with your personality?

[jhonny9546]

I want to learn about escalation, logistics and other "phases" in dating but I don't see "interactions" as a series of phases. My focus is on myself, and I believe in direct communication: if I'm interested, I'll express it, and if she's interested, she'll respond. (and You are aware of IOI's).

I believe there’s only one phase: determining interest.
Once interest is established, I evaluate if she fits what I seek for a LTR.

Then, I prefer spontaneity over a rigid schedule; this allows for genuine connection.
And, by focusing on becoming a man of great value, i'll make myself into a "specific type of man" and a "specific kind of women" will naturally be drawn to me.

So if you're a healthy man using PUA methods, hores'll be drawn to you.
If you're a healthy man acting as a man, healthy women'll be drawn to you.

What I'm learning down the journey, is that it’s better to have one or two meaningful connections on 1000 women that you've met, rather than 10/20 hot and cold superficial ones.
And if you have the superficial ones, don't trash em, try to "use" them to tryout "boundaries", "respect", get "social proofed and preselected", and other useful stuff you might need in a healthy relationship.

In a relationship scenario, Quality over Quantity leads to wellbeing.

In essence, less is better.

But YMMV

 

[Solomon]

At what point did you find consistent success with approaching? I plan on approaching 2000 by the end of the year in my big city. I've only approached about maybe 200 and I see the same patterns over and over, and have been able to make adjustments that make a big difference

Took me a 1000 approaches to start becoming more comfortable. Remember it's a crap shoot and most likely you will get rejected. 99% of my approaches where during the night. If I could go back I would have done more day game

 

[SW15]

At what point did you find consistent success with approaching? I plan on approaching 2000 by the end of the year in my big city. I've only approached about maybe 200 and I see the same patterns over and over, and have been able to make adjustments that make a big difference

That's a very high number of approaches. It would be better to focus on compatibility and find a girlfriend within a lower quantity of approaches so that you won't need to approach anymore.

However, it's possible you might be a Thrill of the Hunt guy whereas I am more of a Pleasure of Sex guy.

Thrill of the Hunt Men vs. Pleasure of Sex Men - Alpha Male 2.0

-By Caleb Jones This is such a big topic that it will likely be the first of several posts I make about this. This will clear up a lot of confusion you may have regarding conflicting advice in the seduction realm. Few men are aware that...

alphamale20.com

 

[Tilex]

When I started learning about PUA & Seduction material 20 years ago, Neil Strauss was brought up constantly by some members in threads on Mystery's forum.
I did some research and ended up reading the first 2 chapters of his book The Game. I quit reading it because I couldn't relate to any of his field report stories.
I mean it just seemed far fetched and written like a fantasy novel.

Looking back and thinking about it right now as I'm much older, I realize he's not a pickup artist by any means. He's no different than someone with 5 years experience writing field reports on sosuave.
He talks about Mystery and a few other guys in his book, but the real seduction guru's that put out quality material NEVER talk about Neil Strauss.
This leads me to believe that he took a course or seminar in seduction or stumbled upon the hidden newsgroups and wanted to write a book about it and get rich.

 

[Sophisticator]

This leads me to believe that he took a course or seminar in seduction or stumbled upon the hidden newsgroups and wanted to write a book about it and get rich.

You mean unlike the real PUA who only wanted to help lonely men out of the goodness of their hearts.

 

[SW15]

This leads me to believe that he took a course or seminar in seduction or stumbled upon the hidden newsgroups and wanted to write a book about it and get rich.

Neil Strauss had some solid career achievements before getting deeply involved in the pickup/seduction community. He was already in decent financial shape. By that point in life, he might have been able to get some women on being a blue pilled, Average Frustrated Chump guy with some money and status.

When "The Game" was released in 2005, Neil Strauss was already 36 years old and had been out of college for 14 years. He had an Ivy League degree, had worked for Rolling Stone in music journalism, co-wrote "The Dirt" with Motley Crue, and co-wrote a autobiographical book with famous porn star Jenna Jameson. He didn't necessarily need to write about pickup artists and seduction in order to make a name for himself and get rich.

Neil Strauss' biggest problems in the 1990s and early 2000s were height and hair. That's 2/3rds of @Mike32ct 's and his "Height, Hair, Money" framework. Neil Strauss is only 5'6" and was balding before age 30. Those factors make seduction far more difficult. His Ivy League and journalism earnings weren't enough to offset the height and hair issues.

 

[SW15]

When I read "Mystery Method", I didn't find it incongruent with my own personality but I found it more difficult to apply in real world.

Roosh's "Bang", "Day Bang", and later "Game" were seduction manuals that I found easier to apply in field settings. Roosh was a microbiologist prior to becoming a full time seduction content creator. His content was written to most strongly appeal to intelligent men with a strong logical side. Men with a STEM background or other analytical types would be more likely to do well with his content.

There are other PUAs who have good content out there.

 

[Sophisticator]

There are other PUAs who have good content out there.

Entertaining content, yes. But 'good' depends what quality you expect.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I watch videos from pickup artists from time to time to see if their advice could improve my game.

What makes you think that these so-called PUA "gurus" have even the slightest clue what they are talking about?

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

PUA advice suffers from the same problem as advice in general, it's designed for mass-market, one-size fits all appeal, and is impossible to tailor to any given individual. Text game advice in particular is awful to adopt as even your texts to a woman who has never met you can come off as extremely incongruent.

What you must do is extract and distill the information across all sources and refine them based on your own unique circumstances, personality, values, etc. This is a problem even on this board where people rely on axioms "that's just the way it is bro" that are taken as an absolute truth, when in reality many "rules" are bended or flat out contradicted by people who simply do what works for them and listen to their gut.

This is one of the reasons I dislike this board, and particularly dislike the red pill/PUA in general - even though they do get many things right - they never account for individual experience and often hold contempt for anyone with contrarian beliefs. PUAs like RSD are particularly keen on this; their whole business model is based on expressing vitriol towards anyone who disagrees with their axioms (ie, their dogma) in an effort to shame and guilt-trip people into paying $4000 for their courses/community access.

Take everything you hear with a grain of salt and think for yourself.

 

[Bokanovsky]

PUA advice suffers from the same problem as advice in general, it's designed for mass-market, one-size fits all approach, and is impossible to tailor to any given individual. Text game advice in particular is awful to adopt as even your texts to a woman who has never met you can come off as extremely incongruent.

It also suffers from the problem known as "the blind leading the blind".

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

It also suffers from the problem known as "the blind leading the blind".

I would take this a step further and say that even the successful people (especially in this arena) are generally incapable of giving useful advice too. Often times people are absurdly reductionistic and they don't account for all the factors that led to their success or what led to others failures. This is basically the fundamental attribution bias manifest over and over.

For this reason, generally speaking, I don't really follow the advice that "experts" suggest in any domain, not just here; what worked for them won't necessarily work for me, and attempting to emulate/reverse engineer their strategy is probably going to be a waste of time.

There are rare gems that have true nuggets of wisdom to share with people, but wisdom is very difference than advice because it is timeless and applicable to almost anyone.

 

[Oatmeal31]

What makes you think that these so-called PUA "gurus" have even the slightest clue what they are talking about?

Infields as proof. I could say the same about this message board

 

[CornbreadFed]

I would take this a step further and say that even the successful people (especially in this arena) are generally incapable of giving useful advice too. Often times people are absurdly reductionistic and they don't account for all the factors that led to their success or what led to others failures. This is basically the fundamental attribution bias manifest over and over.

Because there's a lot of trolls on forums that just want to argue or vent instead of taking in advice. Dating advice forums get hijacked by the toxic triad males. The bitter incel, the guy that lives a second life on the internet through a fake persona, and the alt right troll form Voltron to prohibit any progress on a male dating advice platform.

 

[Sophisticator]

Infields as proof. I could say the same about this message board

If you mean those edited and amateurishly acted hidden camera YouTube videos, your standard of 'proof' is too low to argue.

Because there's a lot of trolls on forums that just want to argue or vent instead of taking in advice. Dating advice forums get hijacked by the toxic triad males. The bitter incel, the guy that lives a second life on the internet through a fake persona, and the alt right troll form Voltron to prohibit any progress on a male dating advice platform.

If someone takes a step away from the screen and curbs their ego, it's quite easy to spot the insincere and inauthentic and just ignore them. If you get too deeply involved with trolls they pull you under the bridge.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Infields as proof. I could say the same about this message board

If a guy is screwing hot girls left and right, he is either paying them or in some exclusive party environment.

 

[Oatmeal31]

If you mean those edited and amateurishly acted hidden camera YouTube videos, your standard of 'proof' is too low to argue.
View attachment 14002


If someone takes a step away from the screen and curbs their ego, it's quite easy to spot the insincere and inauthentic and just ignore them. If you get too deeply involved with trolls they pull you under the bridge.

View attachment 14003

Nope, I watch guys that include rejections as well. Why would I believe everything seen or written on the internet, just goes without saying

 

[Clockwerk50]

Because there's a lot of trolls on forums that just want to argue or vent instead of taking in advice. Dating advice forums get hijacked by the toxic triad males. The bitter incel, the guy that lives a second life on the internet through a fake persona, and the alt right troll form Voltron to prohibit any progress on a male dating advice platform.

Make it a quartet - advice given that has not been tried by the adviser nor backed up with any real results, just empty theories and excuses when questioned.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Make it a quartet - advice given that has not been tried by the adviser nor backed up with any real results, just empty theories and excuses when questioned.

fivelet, posters that never leave their house and post from an Echo chamber

 

[Clockwerk50]

fivelet, posters that never leave their house and post from an Echo chamber

Nah, those guys are still cool. They are not as bad as the first 4.