KontrollerX said:
"Can you also link me to the bible_belt's oneitis thread you were talking about? I tried searching for it, and under his name and i couldn't find it sorry."
Oh he doesn't have a thread on oneitis.
He just made a response post to another topic once upon a time where he told a guy going through oneitis that the best way in his opinion to get over it is to go and fvck 10 other women.
"If you have more info im here to listen and read because the stuff you write about is a great read, let me know if you got more suggestions cause ive been with her for 9 months and im still grieving and it's been 4 months since we broke up and i don't like to be like this."
The poster The_Bat has or had a signature once where he's quoting Aristotle.
In the quote Aristotle said something to the effect that a man acquires a particular nature by doing a particular thing repeatedly.
And what have you been doing repeatedly?
Why grieving of course!
You are now a griever.
See though the reason Bible Belts bang 10 other chicks solution works as well other solutions for getting over oneitis works because almost all the solutions have you doing a particular thing over and over again until you are that kind of guy.
So say you went and screwed 10 other women.
You'd then be a player or a pimp in society's mind or a stud whichever term you prefer.
The point being that whatever you do, your repetition of that particular thing gradually takes you away from being a griever into that new particular thing.
So again you'll go from griever to player gradually if you go and bone 10 other women and you'll hardly realize the transition.
One day you'll wake up and realize you no longer have any pain over the old relationship.
One of my motivational speaker heroes in addition to Tony Robbins is W. Mitchell a guy that was burned up in a motorcycle accident, had loads of reconstructive surgery and was later injured in an airplane accident that paralyzed him from the waste down.
Did he wallow in grief and self pity forever over what happened to him?
Not at all.
He decided he would become the man that would never be defeated or at least one of many men that have lived on this earth who have decided the same thing when life tests them to incredible levels.
One of Mitchell's best quotes is...
"Its not what happens to you, its what you do about it".
So the break up happened to you.
Now what will you do about it?
Continue to grieve for the rest of your life or try a different approach?
Try maybe working towards some kind of inspiring goal be it banging 10 other chicks or maybe even something else like maybe a fitness goal such as body building??
Anything is a more productive use of your time than this grief and if you think about it you'll probably agree.
So start working towards a new goal, start your new approach.
Certainly the grief may follow you at first but remember its both time and action that eliminates it.
Work towards your new goal.
hey that was great hehe, i liked how you used that quote cause you are right about that for sure and its really inspirational words.
However I want to let you know my situation, im 22 and in university. During the time when my ex broke up with me, the semester that happened I took 2 online courses and so I was never at school and so I wasn't very social or met anyone new particular girls in general. My exams are this week and I will be taking 4 summer courses starting May 4th.
My point being is that I will definately go out and meet new girls, one step at a time before sleeping with them like you said. However, the time being until May 4th I won't be really able to meet new girls yet at this time.
What should I do in the meantime besides study for my exams? Also how do i get her thoughts to go away at this time?
One of my buddies told me an excercise that goes like this: When the thought comes in your mind, acknowledge it like a person for example,
I think about her one year ago and i did this, i wore this, and i ate this with her.
I would then picture that thought as a person, acknowledge him/her and then say bye and walk by or brush that person aside.
If the thought comes in again, I would then acknowledge again, but this time i would have to be annoyed and be more coarse to this "person" and say I'm busy go away.
The third time It would be "I'm annoyed, and I don't want to talk to this "person" So i just let it in my head and go by without acknowledging him/her.
My friend said, if you want to make something less valuable, make it abundant. So by assuming these thoughts come in all the time, she is abundant and here everytime so her value shouldn't be as high as I thought.
These are the excercises im talking about and if you suggestions like these mind twists I'm also interested in hearing as well :yes:
