Any advice for black guys that dont act "black"?
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So Many Ways
Master Don Juan
I'm black and I don't really act black either, but unlike you I love hip hop and hip hop culture. I did grow up in a white neighborhood in Orange County, CA so the way I speak reflects that. I pretty much talk like anyone else that grew up where I grew up.
I have heard comments and been the receiving end of jokes for most of my life regarding the way I talk, act, etc. I think the key is to be comfortable in your own skin and to not act like anyone else and to just be yourself, as cliche as that sounds. If women don't want to accept you because you don't act like someone in a music video, see it as her loss, move on and remember that there are plenty of women out there who will find you attractive, as long as you present yourself that way.
Does the way I act affect the way that women see me? I think certain women might see it as a turnoff but there are plenty of women that find the way I carry myself a huge turn-on, so I can't be too concerned if one group of women won't give me the time of day. I don't make it an issue and I don't let it bother me anymore. When I was younger it was a different story and the fact that black women didn't give me the time of day was something that upset me. Now I couldn't care less.
Remember, don't change the way you act and be proud of who you are. Acting like a stereotype does not make one any more blacker than the other, it's all about what's inside.
I have heard comments and been the receiving end of jokes for most of my life regarding the way I talk, act, etc. I think the key is to be comfortable in your own skin and to not act like anyone else and to just be yourself, as cliche as that sounds. If women don't want to accept you because you don't act like someone in a music video, see it as her loss, move on and remember that there are plenty of women out there who will find you attractive, as long as you present yourself that way.
Does the way I act affect the way that women see me? I think certain women might see it as a turnoff but there are plenty of women that find the way I carry myself a huge turn-on, so I can't be too concerned if one group of women won't give me the time of day. I don't make it an issue and I don't let it bother me anymore. When I was younger it was a different story and the fact that black women didn't give me the time of day was something that upset me. Now I couldn't care less.
Remember, don't change the way you act and be proud of who you are. Acting like a stereotype does not make one any more blacker than the other, it's all about what's inside.
Jvesti
Master Don Juan
Watch Carleton on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air that should help
I'm black to the core, but yall wont see me throwing on a du-rag to snatch a broad. I go to a white all-boys school and I see "dark whiteboys" 24-7. The get flamed, but they really don't give a **** about the black cats that do it and that's why I respect them.
I honestly wear what the hell I want, talk like I want, walk the way I want. I don't fit any stereotype and I aint nobody's damn minority. I'm just me, all that I can be.
It's ghetto as hell over here, but I still game the chicks. I'm different than the 15 y/o cat at the Liquor Store asking cats to buy him a blunt. I realize that and really don't give a ****. Let them chickens respect you, for you and if they dont. The **** em.
I honestly wear what the hell I want, talk like I want, walk the way I want. I don't fit any stereotype and I aint nobody's damn minority. I'm just me, all that I can be.
It's ghetto as hell over here, but I still game the chicks. I'm different than the 15 y/o cat at the Liquor Store asking cats to buy him a blunt. I realize that and really don't give a ****. Let them chickens respect you, for you and if they dont. The **** em.
il_duce
Master Don Juan
Whatever you do, just disregard Player_Supreme's advice.
Just do it. You'll thank me for it later.
If you're not into the "thug life", then don't try to fit that sterotype. Doesn't even matter what your skin color is. Do what you wanna do.
Just do it. You'll thank me for it later.
If you're not into the "thug life", then don't try to fit that sterotype. Doesn't even matter what your skin color is. Do what you wanna do.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Re: Re: Any advice for black guys that dont act "black"?
Let me tell you from experience, you have interests that can set you apart from the crowd and could make you very popular. What you need to do is to become comfortable enough with yourself to be able to venture out beyond the stereotypical norm.
Once you do that and start engaging people with similar interests you will start feeling less isolated even though you may be the only 'brotha' in the group. Use your uniqueness as a tool, a weapon, a platform that can raise you above the norm!
Re-read this post at least 10 times!!! Read it out loud, tattoo it to your forearm, do whatever you need to do to get this into your head permanently!!!
Let me tell you from experience, you have interests that can set you apart from the crowd and could make you very popular. What you need to do is to become comfortable enough with yourself to be able to venture out beyond the stereotypical norm.
Once you do that and start engaging people with similar interests you will start feeling less isolated even though you may be the only 'brotha' in the group. Use your uniqueness as a tool, a weapon, a platform that can raise you above the norm!
Crank_It_Up
Master Don Juan
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your problem is not that you can't "connect with the people at all, or that you're into white stuff" Your problem is that you perceive this as a problem. Nobody cares what type of music you listen too, nobody cares what style of clothes you choose to wear. Nobody cares about your political views... If they are so shallow that any of that stuff matters to them, they should be very careful of mudpuddles. Don't blame a woman's lack of interest on your lack of bling bling, or your style of clothes.... if you can't engage in enough converstation to let her see the real you, then that is the problem.
My own musical tastes range from country, rap, hiphop, rock, and disco... yeah you heard me, disco. My style of clothes was whatever I felt like wearing that day. Women are not attracted to the clothes, but what's under them that counts. Now go back out there and let your true self shine.
Player_Supreme
Banned
well thats funny this is the same advice I gave him. just be happy who you are and be as you are.
Let me tell you a story of when I was 16 years old.
It was holloween night. I was on my way home walking. a truck rolled by and they yelled nigg=er at me...I yelled back at them.
The truck rolled back around. I went up on some families lawn and picked up the biggest rock I could find to bash heads with.
The white boys rolled by slowly and stopped.
We glared at one another.
My heart was pounding out of my chest. You have that flight or fight thing in your body and I was ready to kill or be killed.
I guess they decided that it wasn't worth the risk.
As the pulled off there was a black guy in the back of the truck.
One of those who didn't like his own kind. He was a 1 over 2...half and half with a big curly afro. They were all older boys from Cordova High School in Sacramento where I attended.
He was ok with it to jump one of his fathers own people in the dark.
Self hatred will make a fool do alot of things.
I paid 4 of those 5 boys back one at a time personally for myself and with a bunch of other nigga's in my big electra 225... ran over one while he was on his bike actually he jumped off and I smashed his bike up...
another I beat down at and tried to kill him at a small fair/carnival for messing with my eggheaded older brother. Thank god some older men stopped me from choking the life out of him after I had put my back then size 12's into his head...
enouf said...violence only begats more violence.
this guy claims he has love for his race. But his original post says different to me. I've seen the self haters....and even been one myself. I know the marks and signs. And I know the way back to self love.
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
Player, way to respond like a 'man' bro, at 16 years of age at that! But damn, I hope you didn't damage your Electra duce and a quarter - that is a bad ride!!!! A man's ride!!
There a lot of "Brothers" who are sick in the head and trying to garner the acceptance and respect of others by proving that they hate their own! It's a sad state of affairs. There is less of this sickness out there today, but remnants remain!
Everyone should love who they are and not worry about the stereotypes of fools! Be yourself, this is your only option because you cannott be someone else!!!
There a lot of "Brothers" who are sick in the head and trying to garner the acceptance and respect of others by proving that they hate their own! It's a sad state of affairs. There is less of this sickness out there today, but remnants remain!
Everyone should love who they are and not worry about the stereotypes of fools! Be yourself, this is your only option because you cannott be someone else!!!
Meffid Man
Don Juan
man...
i'm black also...and like the one dude from OC, im from So Cal also. All my life i've been not 'black' i.e. thug clothing, bling, etc. My taste in music also was different from "black" ppl i.e. I live and breath house/disco music (the good kind). It's funny to that ppl say "Your weird, u listen to that" and its ironic that black ppl created that music in the past and now they're the one that give me the most grief today.
Neway, my style of dress and certain mannuerisms has hindered me a little bit, but not too much. But it's hard finding, at least in SoCal, girls (black) that have the same interest in my style and music, due to the fact that i dont fit that media "mold". But im still tryin..i know she's out there.
I, myself, when down the self hatred route too (dated white girls, had non black friends etc...but subconciously on purpose). I didnt outright call my own ni***rs, but in my own way i implied it by avoiding alot of black people when i was younger, specially the stereotypical ones. And its somewhat rare to find non stereotypical blacks in Cali. I didnt feel like i was one of them. Many black men who don't grow up in black surroundings usually end up with the self hatred curse (thx Europe circa 1500's) lol
.
Now I feel i'm cured of the curse but a little of it still remains, so my advice to you. That is if your not self hating is a qoute from an old 311 song:
"**** the naysayers, keep goin...gotta do what you gotta do to get the ppl goin"
Meff
i'm black also...and like the one dude from OC, im from So Cal also. All my life i've been not 'black' i.e. thug clothing, bling, etc. My taste in music also was different from "black" ppl i.e. I live and breath house/disco music (the good kind). It's funny to that ppl say "Your weird, u listen to that" and its ironic that black ppl created that music in the past and now they're the one that give me the most grief today.
Neway, my style of dress and certain mannuerisms has hindered me a little bit, but not too much. But it's hard finding, at least in SoCal, girls (black) that have the same interest in my style and music, due to the fact that i dont fit that media "mold". But im still tryin..i know she's out there.
I, myself, when down the self hatred route too (dated white girls, had non black friends etc...but subconciously on purpose). I didnt outright call my own ni***rs, but in my own way i implied it by avoiding alot of black people when i was younger, specially the stereotypical ones. And its somewhat rare to find non stereotypical blacks in Cali. I didnt feel like i was one of them. Many black men who don't grow up in black surroundings usually end up with the self hatred curse (thx Europe circa 1500's) lol
. Now I feel i'm cured of the curse but a little of it still remains, so my advice to you. That is if your not self hating is a qoute from an old 311 song:
"**** the naysayers, keep goin...gotta do what you gotta do to get the ppl goin"
Meff
Player_Supreme
Banned
No I just smashed that fools bike up real good. He looked like such a chump trying to pedal his ass off and my car was full of these big black heads laughing at him, dogging him down the streets almost touching his bike then backing away. What goes around comes around.
I had redded out and wanted to kill him...lucky for him he jumped off when his bike hit that curb and he ran up to these people house screaming like a *****....I hit the bike and the curb and started up when my road dogs started yelling at me to take off.
I backed out and stopped my car and got out...and stared at him...to let him know there was more commin his way.
He wasn't so tough then...holmes. We sped off and went and drank some old english 800.
So Many Ways
Master Don Juan
Re: man...
The house music thing is funny...I remember back in the day one of my friends started listening to that and I clowned him hard... then around the mid to late 90's I started getting into it and trance as well. It's funny how that happens.
That's funny... I did that exact opposite. When I was in my teens, I tried to act "blacker", I sagged my pants to my knees, wore locs, beanies, flannels, and **** like that but it was all a facade. It wasn't me you know. I also carried a huge chip on my shoulder and was mad at the world and even walked around with an Ice Cube album cover mean mug glare for quite some time until I learned to let go and be comfortable in my own skin. In a way, it is a form a self hatred but in reverse. I was trying to act the way people thought I was supposed to act instead of just being myself. After all blacks are not a homogeneous group by any stretch and blackness is not something that's defined by speech patters, dress code, or musical tastes. It's much deeper than that.Originally posted by Meffid Man
i'm black also...and like the one dude from OC, im from So Cal also. All my life i've been not 'black' i.e. thug clothing, bling, etc. My taste in music also was different from "black" ppl i.e. I live and breath house/disco music (the good kind). It's funny to that ppl say "Your weird, u listen to that" and its ironic that black ppl created that music in the past and now they're the one that give me the most grief today.
Neway, my style of dress and certain mannuerisms has hindered me a little bit, but not too much. But it's hard finding, at least in SoCal, girls (black) that have the same interest in my style and music, due to the fact that i dont fit that media "mold". But im still tryin..i know she's out there.
I, myself, when down the self hatred route too (dated white girls, had non black friends etc...but subconciously on purpose). I didnt outright call my own ni***rs, but in my own way i implied it by avoiding alot of black people when i was younger, specially the stereotypical ones. And its somewhat rare to find non stereotypical blacks in Cali. I didnt feel like i was one of them. Many black men who don't grow up in black surroundings usually end up with the self hatred curse (thx Europe circa 1500's) lol
Now I feel i'm cured of the curse but a little of it still remains, so my advice to you. That is if your not self hating is a qoute from an old 311 song:
"**** the naysayers, keep goin...gotta do what you gotta do to get the ppl goin"
Meff
The house music thing is funny...I remember back in the day one of my friends started listening to that and I clowned him hard... then around the mid to late 90's I started getting into it and trance as well. It's funny how that happens.
macknetikcharm
Don Juan
Black people only make up ten% ov the population in the USuvA. Thiz means that you are not exposed to az much variety in the black form az in the white form. Bruthaz come in all flavaz uv tha rainbow, you juz don't see'em all at 1ce.
You did all this just because some dude called you a "n*gger?" What if this dude happened to have contacts in the mafia or was going to seek retaliation by torture or putting a bomb in your car? Weren't you scared or paranoid after these confrontations that the other party was going to seek revenge?
If someone beat my @$$ like that, I would plot some sick torture for him or something to that degree. Obviously I wouldn't do it myself, I'd just get a hitman or what not.
macknetikcharm
Don Juan
LMFAO U watch 2 much Soprano's kiddo!Originally posted by pharoh
You did all this just because some dude called you a "n*gger?" What if this dude happened to have contacts in the mafia or was going to seek retaliation by torture or putting a bomb in your car? Weren't you scared or paranoid after these confrontations that the other party was going to seek revenge?
If someone beat my @$$ like that, I would plot some sick torture for him or something to that degree. Obviously I wouldn't do it myself, I'd just get a hitman or what not.
LMAO. Man, your right I did come off too "mafiash", but my point is what if the dude was some deranged sicko or something? You do that shyyt on me, I would be plotting some nasty revenge on you. However, I wouldn't be starting confrontations like those retards.
Player_Supreme
Banned
1. yes I did. And I was only 16 years old too.Originally posted by pharoh
You did all this just because some dude called you a "n*gger?" What if this dude happened to have contacts in the mafia or was going to seek retaliation by torture or putting a bomb in your car? Weren't you scared or paranoid after these confrontations that the other party was going to seek revenge?
If someone beat my @$$ like that, I would plot some sick torture for him or something to that degree. Obviously I wouldn't do it myself, I'd just get a hitman or what not.
2. you sound like one of those columbine types. If your not man enough to face em head on then why plot behind their backs...that's cowardly. I beat 4 of them down with my fists even though they were older than I was. the 5th on got shot one day...and it wasn't me...
3. you need to open your eyes it was the 70's not 2004. think back to your history books that you read and I lived. racial tension was high. white boys thought nigga's would bow down and run or some shyt. white dudes were getting they azz beat left and right at my school. they were angry and wanted to retaliate. earlier that week I had just beat a senior up during p.e. class. I had the support of all the senior brotha's.
since my older brother was on the chess team and a egghead I had to fight for myself and him.
you must live in a fantasy world kid.
as far as being scared or paranoid...back then you fought and win or loss you picked yourself up and moved on...plus my father an retired marine taught us that when you fight kill that fool or make him think your going to kill him...be twice as crazy as he is and he will be scared of you from then on.
You break his manhood and cower him. be twice as bad and as angry or crazy. So being scared of retaliation never even entered my mind. As far as mafia...we were in high school!!!
Now I did this not only because I was called a nigg"er but because I got jumped. when they pulled that truck around it went to another level. when I picked up that rock prepared to die and take a few with me...it was definately at a level that needed to be handled.
After a few other young blacks had been jumped and beaten during that time period...some pay back was definately neccessary.
You had to of lived during the 70's to understand kid. We had a race riot every year at school. The biggest white boys against our toughest and biggest blacks.
You should of seen the tensiion a few years later after Roots was being first aired. I think I fought 3 times within as many weeks. I got the name Crazy C.... because I took my fights to another level. And there American was watching "appalled "at a minimized version of the truth of what went on during slavery times.
Jesus Christ, why the fuk do you get so defensive over shyyt? If you had mentioned something about the situation beforehand I would of known where you were coming from. I wasn't looking at it from that perspective. Makes sense, nonetheless.
If some dude starts something with me through words, I'd defend myself verbally. If it erupts into physical warfare, I'd try to flee the scene but if not I'd try to DEFEND myself. If the dude fuks me up like a broken arm or something, then I would seek revenge. Here are some methods I'd use if necessary (depends on the severity of my injuries):
I would wait for an opportunity where he is by himself in secluded area. I would come up behind him, and spray MASE in his eyes. Then, I'd try to tie his hands behind his back, and put a plastic bag over his head (after taping his mouth shut). I would let him scream gasping for air, and watch him struggle for life. What I don't know is should I save him or just let him die? If I save him and let him live, he'll probably try to KILL me. I'm still thinking about that.
Another idea is to do the same thing with the MASE, but instead of doing what I said above, I'd just take some acid and throw it on his face. Thus, he would get permanent damage, and every time he looks at his reflection, he realizes his predicament. Same thing with whether I should kill him, or let him live. Don't know.
The extreme case where he fuks me up real bad, I'd probably kidnap him and take him to a secluded area. There, I'd torture him like taking a butcher knife and cutting up his flesh, giving him unimaginable pain, make him scream for mercy. But the same question arises again. Should I keep him alive or just kill him after I've finished.
I'm taking this statement in the context of today's society. Like I said, I never try to start something with anybody. But if someone provokes me, I will stand up for myself.
If some dude starts something with me through words, I'd defend myself verbally. If it erupts into physical warfare, I'd try to flee the scene but if not I'd try to DEFEND myself. If the dude fuks me up like a broken arm or something, then I would seek revenge. Here are some methods I'd use if necessary (depends on the severity of my injuries):
I would wait for an opportunity where he is by himself in secluded area. I would come up behind him, and spray MASE in his eyes. Then, I'd try to tie his hands behind his back, and put a plastic bag over his head (after taping his mouth shut). I would let him scream gasping for air, and watch him struggle for life. What I don't know is should I save him or just let him die? If I save him and let him live, he'll probably try to KILL me. I'm still thinking about that.
Another idea is to do the same thing with the MASE, but instead of doing what I said above, I'd just take some acid and throw it on his face. Thus, he would get permanent damage, and every time he looks at his reflection, he realizes his predicament. Same thing with whether I should kill him, or let him live. Don't know.
The extreme case where he fuks me up real bad, I'd probably kidnap him and take him to a secluded area. There, I'd torture him like taking a butcher knife and cutting up his flesh, giving him unimaginable pain, make him scream for mercy. But the same question arises again. Should I keep him alive or just kill him after I've finished.
