Originally posted by K B
THIS IS WHY males are NOT being heard today people. As soon as someone takes an honest look at how men have it today, some female comes up with a "yes, but...."
This thread illustrated some REAL feelings from REAL men. These men in here were honest, and were telling things like it is from a MAN'S POINT OF VIEW. In fact, most of the men in here ALSO RECOGNIZED that women are the main targets from the media. The media presents to them a completely FALSE and innacurate profile of how men are. And that, in turn, is what is making is so difficult for men.
You want to know why men don't speak up? Well, this is why, Wyldfire. EVERY time a man expresses himself, his problems get minimized, ignored or DISMISSED because some female somewhere went through a more terrible ordeal. This is why women do not, and will not understand a man. This is why women don't APPRECIATE a man. They are too wrapped up in THEMSELVES to realize that men have their own set of problems. By dismissing his problems by coming up with one "better," a man will think twice next time before telling his woman what is on his mind.
I hear complaints from women all the time that if a man would only LISTEN, he would understand a woman much better. Wyldfire, a woman can go FAR to understand a man if she would put on her LISTENING EARS and let him SPEAK without her butting in with "yes, but..."
NOWHERE did I minimize, dismiss or ingnore what boys or men go through. In fact, I showed how I went head to head with the school to defend my son against sexism. It matters not to me whether it's one of my sons or one of my daughters who are mistreated...I'm all over it.
Here is what I see on this forum...the exact same thing you are claiming only reversed. I log on and read on here some guys who claim most women who are raped lie about it. It's a bash women fest on here. Christ...it's no better than the very stuff you guys are complaining about. That doesn't solve a damn thing.
Now take a look at the behavior of our resident idiot on this thread. I pointed out that boys and girls both suffer and we all need to work together to try to stop that from happening...by starting with our own attitudes. I gave examples of what happened to my own children. Both of my children were victimized. No one slammed my son or insulted him. Yet One Brain Cell DJ took it upon himself to slam my daughter who happens to be one of the GOOD girls who would never treat a guy badly. She's been raised right.
Here's a little hint...if you want women to listen and care about the plight of men and boys you need to know the right way to address the situation. If you address it by turning it into a competition to see who gets hurt worse you aren't going to get anywhere. No one gender has cornered the market on pain. Until everyone stops looking at it like that you're going to get nowhere.
Women are reactive and feelers. If you want to point out sexism against men the best and most effective way to do it is to help them relate by acknowledging something that hurts them and explaining that when something is done or said to you it makes you feel the SAME way. Show women that you understand their experiences of sexism because YOU experience it too. Don't turn it into a pissing contest of who has it worse or you'll just come off like you only care about yourself. THAT is why most times men complain about sexism against them they get a bad reaction. They're just going about it all wrong. I've actually seen women TRY to be understanding by relating their own experiences only to have the man misunderstand why she did that. She did it to show she understands and can empathize and men tend to take it as her minimizing what he went through. That is NOT what she is doing...UNLESS you are blaming women (which means you are blaming HER) for your suffering. If you do that, she will be defensive and get into a pissing contest with you over who suffers more. Do NOT blame...just express how the messages make you feel to her.
For example...if you are bothered by commercials that make men look stupid...
Good way to express it: "It is insulting to me the way the media has been portraying men as if they are idiots."
Bad way to express it: "TV is stupid. It always makes women the heros and make men look dumb. Everyone knows men are so much stronger and more heroic than women are. Women aren't even really physically able to be a hero."
Another example...talking about sexual harassment at work...
Good approach..."You know, a lot of men get into trouble for sexual harassment when all they wanted was to have a relationship with a female co-worker. Sometimes it's hard for guys to read whether or not a woman is interested in them, especially if she's trying to be nice and friendly with him."
Bad approach..."Women at work are such biotches and teases. They flirt with these poor guys who just want to go out with them and then get him fired when he responds to her mixed signals."
Can you see the difference between the good and bad approaches in both examples? How you approach an issue like this decides how the woman will react to it. Most women are very sensitive and supportive of men being treated badly. The only time they aren't is when the guy presents what he wants to say in an offensive and blaming manner. That's why I post as much as I do in defense of women and discouraging all the blaming. A lot of the stuff you guys on here say about women in general is highly offensive and demeaning. It's kinda hard to have sympathy for the men here if most of what they say clearly indicates that they hold me in contempt when I have never done anything to them to warrant it. Hate on me, and I'll hate back at ya. Be respectful, courteous and polite and you'll all get the same from me. That's how women work. You get what you give...and how you communicate with a woman can be the deciding factor of whether or not she will listen to anything you say.
:crackup: 
